Thanks to Bookybookbook, american nymphadora and amanamanam for reviewing! Thank you also to Bookybookbook for adding this story as a favourite.
Sorry I took a while to update but I've been suffering a bit of writer's block. I know what is going to happen I am just having trouble actually writing it all down! I've also started writing a new fanfic and I have a plan for a third. I want to have a few chapters written before I start posting and so far I've only written the prologue and the first chapter.
Anyway, here is chapter 11. Hope you guys like it :-)
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Ch 11: Bittersweet
The weather grew steadily colder as December approached. Professor McGonagall came around with the list of students staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. Sadly, Lily signed up at once for her first, and last, Christmas at Hogwarts. Marly, being the loyal friend she was, signed up as well. As much as Marly insisted she was only signing up because she couldn't stand another Christmas with her Aunt Mabel and her screaming cousins, Lily knew that she didn't want Lily to be alone for Christmas and Lily appreciated it.
Lily was surprised and secretly kind of pleased when she saw James sign up as well. After their first night of friendly rounds, Lily had begun to enjoy her fun and humorous conversations with the popular Marauder. James glowed with self congratulation when he succeeded in making Lily laugh which he did as often as possible.
"So, I hear I'm going to have the privilege of your pleasurable company this Christmas, Evans!" James exclaimed cheerfully as he bumped into Lily as he exited the common room.
"So it seems." Lily replied with a small smile. The upcoming Christmas wasn't a huge source of delight for Lily. It made her sad to remember her previous Christmases at home with her parents. Petunia had sent her a perfunctory note the other day (a rare occurrence, Petunia hated owls) saying that she was not welcome to spend Christmas with her and Vernon. Lily was sad but not surprised. After all, Petunia had always dreaded Lily's return for Christmas.
"I know it's going to be hard for you Lily." James said earnestly as they walked to breakfast in the great hall together. He caught her sad smile and wanted to make her feel better.
"I promise that between me, Remus and Sirius, you'll have a blast!" James was trying to make her laugh again. "Just think about it, snowball fights, warm nights toasting marshmallows by the fire in the common room, a fabulous display of fireworks, my enjoyable company 24/7, what could be better?" Lily smiled warmly and James felt a rush of pleasure. He never ceased to enjoy making her laugh or smile.
"I suppose that means you'll expect a Christmas present then, does it Potter?" Lily asked with a smirk as she sat down next to Marly at the table who was already munching on her toast.
"Of course. But don't go out of your way or anything. The brand new Nimbus 1500 would be fine."
"You don't half have expensive taste do you, Potter?" asked Lily, rolling her eyes as she buttered her toast. The Nimbus 1500 was brand new and hideously expensive.
Just then the morning post arrived and a horde of owls fluttered across the hall, delivering notes and parcels to the students.
"Do you know when the next Hogsmeade weekend will be Lily?" Marly asked as she skimmed the front page of the Daily Prophet, "I have a mountain of Christmas shopping to do before the holidays." James winked knowingly at Lily as Marly spoke and Lily ignored him but a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth.
"There is one scheduled for the last weekend of term which is in two weeks. The notice should be up soon." Since Lily and James had organised all the Hogsmeade dates at the beginning of the year, Lily knew them all off by heart.
"Great, I really need –" Marly broke off when a Hufflepuff 5th year girl leapt up from the table and fled from the hall in a flood of tears. Two other Hufflepuff girls raced after their friend looking sad and worried.
"What was that about?" Lily asked looking shocked and concerned. The Hufflepuff table was muttering quietly as news was passed down the row of students.
"Be back in a sec." Marly said as she strode over to the Hufflepuff table. A minute later she sat down next to Lily looking solemn. James and the other Marauders leaned over to listen.
"The poor girl just got a letter from her parents. Her brother who works at the Ministry was killed in a Death Eater attack yesterday." Marly looked white and Lily felt something grip her heart.
Lily felt ashamed of herself. Sure she was coping with a huge tragedy but she certainly wasn't the only one. She felt so selfish. There she was thinking that she was the only person in the world to have lost people she loved. She wasn't. Voldemort was getting stronger and gathering more supporters by the day. Deaths and injuries by his faithful Death Eaters were becoming more and more common.
Lily felt rage like she had never felt before overwhelm her. She knew the unbearable pain of losing loved ones. That poor Hufflepuff girl had to deal with the horror of knowing that her brother had been murdered. Murdered by a bunch of cold-blooded killers. Lily couldn't imagine the anger that poor girl must feel not to mention the pain. How could someone do this? It all boiled down to one person, if you could even call him that: Voldemort. Voldemort was responsible for ruining all these people's lives, tearing families apart, instilling fear in every person.
The shattering of glass interrupted Lily's thoughts. She hadn't realised how tightly she had been gripping her glass of orange juice until it shattered, spilling the orange liquid all over the table and leaving a large cut in Lily's hand.
"Are you okay Lily?" Marly asked her worriedly as she passed her a serviette to stop the blood flowing from the cut on her hand.
"I'm fine." Lily said dismissively as she ignored James' pointed stare. Marly nodded and waved her wand to clear up the spilt drink. She seemed to understand what had been going on inside Lily's head and she too looked sad and angry.
"It's cruel. Cruel that one person can cause so much fear and tragedy to so many. We can only hope that something or someone can stop him before he becomes unstoppable." This time Lily nodded and she knew that the Marauders had been listening intently. James looked murderous, Remus sad, Sirius shot a hateful glare at the Slytherins' and Peter looked frightened, which wasn't much of a change.
Looking up at the teacher's table Lily could see that Dumbledore was in deep discussion with Professor McGonagall. He looked sombre and Lily felt fear grip her for the first time. This was really happening. Nowhere and no one was safe anymore. And this was only the beginning.
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One week before the end of term, Lily was delighted to wake up and find the muddy Hogwarts grounds covered in a layer of fresh snow. While she hated the cold, Lily loved snow. Unfortunately the two didn't really go together very well.
Christmas cheer was everywhere and Lily couldn't help but find it catching. Professor Flitwick had decorated his classroom with live fairies that glowed brightly and the students all happily chattered about their holiday plans. The castle looked magnificent, with strings of holly and tinsel wrapped around stair banisters, glowing candles illuminated the suits of armour helmets and bunches of mistletoe were strung along the corridors. The usual twelve Christmas trees decorated the Great Hall, covered in multicoloured bubbles, sparkling icicles and glittering candles.
The last week of term passed quickly and the seventh years were given a mountain of homework in preparation for their N.E.W.T's later in the year. Before she knew it, the last day of term arrived and the Hogsmeade weekend was nearly upon them.
"Today, class, we will be learning the Protean Charm which is likely to come up in your NEWTs." Tiny Professor Flitwick squeaked from his pile of books. "Now, who can tell me what a Protean Charm is?"
As usual, Lily had her hand in the air. She was about to answer, since she was usually the only person to have her hand up, when Professor Flitwick looked right past her. Instead, his eyes rested on the person behind her who also had their hand up.
"What a pleasant surprise! Mr Potter?" Lily smiled and looked questioningly at James. This was definitely a first.
James winked at Lily cheekily before speaking, "A Protean Charm is used to make one object mimic another."
"Well done, Mr Potter. Ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Flitwick said to a grinning James. "Now, using the correct incantation, practice the charm on the objects in front of you."
For the remainder of the lesson, Lily expertly practiced the charm while Marly cursed beside her.
"Stupid charm!" She said angrily as her spell failed for the 6th time in a row.
Behind them, James was watching Lily, his head tilted to the side and a dreamy expression on his face. As she tossed her hair, James admired the way the light caught the dark red strands, bringing out the golden highlights.
She turned around and smiled when she caught him looking at her. Trying to look calm, cool and collected, James smiled back and quickly bent his head to pretend that he was working.
James had thought that friendship would be enough for him. He had hoped he could put his other feelings for her aside, especially since she clearly didn't return them. But it was hard.
Every time he was with her, it was like having a constant bittersweet heartache. He loved every moment he was with her, and when he wasn't he longed to be near her. But he wanted more. He wanted more than friendship.
It was like a cake. You wait desperately for when you can eat it. You savour the first mouthful, content with the rich chocolate taste. But then, it isn't enough. The more you eat, the more you want. Not that he was comparing Lily to a cake or anything.
Each time James looked at Lily he was filled with an unbelievable happiness at just having her around, but at the same time an overbearing sadness that he was only a friend to her. That that was all he was ever going to be. Maybe being friends with Lily was even harder that being hated by her.
"Psst, James!" Sirius whispered to his friend beside him, pulling him from his daydream.
"Not now, Padfoot." James replied, his brow furrowed in concentration. Lily was looking at him and he was trying very hard to behave himself to impress her, and so far it appeared to be working. Pity the charm wasn't though.
She smiled prettily at him as he succeeded in casting the charm correctly, and in his distraction, James accidentally poked Sirius in the eye with his wand.
"Ouch!" Sirius said rubbing his eye.
After deciding that he wasn't going to go blind in the near future Sirius elbowed James. "Oi Prongs! Want to see what happens if I set Snivelly's pants on fire?" He asked with a grin.
"No, we'll get into trouble." He didn't want to spoil all his good work from the lesson. He was trying to show Lily that he had changed. Maybe then she would realise that he was the perfect guy for her.
Sirius looked at James with a funny expression on his face. James couldn't quite pick it but he didn't like the look of it. At that moment, the bell rang for the end of lesson. The class rose quickly, glad that their last lesson of the term was finally over.
"Class dismissed! Merry Christmas and safe holidays." Professor Flitwick called to a number of retreating backs.
"What happened to you mate?" Sirius asked James, shaking his head. And without a further glance, Sirius left the room, leaving a stunned James behind. What was that all about?
Lily came up behind James, pulling him out of his reverie. "Well done James!" She smiled with congratulations. "Who knew you could pay attention to a teacher for that long?" She joked as they all headed towards the Gryffindor common room.
James smiled but he was still distracted. He had never seen Sirius like that before. What was going on? Why was Sirius angry all of a sudden? Casting his thoughts away, James turned his attention back to Lily who was talking to him. He would sort out whatever was bothering Sirius later. After all, tomorrow night was a full moon.