M 15+
I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I would follow Marissa into the dark in a second without even giving it a second thought, give up my life for her to live in a heart beat and take away all her pain if I could. I have been so exhausted without her for the passed couple of months and now I don't want to close my eyes in the fear that she will be stolen from me again.
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
As I hang up the phone I walk back into our room to see Marissa shaking in fear cuddled up surrounded by sheets and holding my pillow crying into it. I am surprised by how similar we are.
As I walk over to her she looks up at me again with those eyes, those eyes scare me, they belong to a scared little girl who has been hurt to an unimaginable level over the past couple of months by a bastard that had previously hurt her more than once.
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
Wrapping my arms around her I don't know what to do to take her pain away, she looks so scared. I slowly rock with her and as she burries her head into my chest, just as her mother did not so many days ago and I start to sing a lullaby that my Grandmother used to sing to me.
"Everything, going to be alright rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye"
"Ryan?"
I look down to see her beautiful eyes full of tears and I gently wipe the ones falling from her eyes.
"Yes Princess?"
"I think we lost the baby"
"Honey, everything is going to be alright, you have me now and I am never going to let anybody take you away from me again"
I see her nod and slowly look up at me
"It was Oliver who took me"
"It's okay, baby I know he's locked up for good, he can never hurt you again"
"Ryan?"
"yes baby?"
"I was making romantic dinner for us and he just turned up and grabbed me; I tried to get away but he took me away and I cried for you but he kept say that not even you could save me now, that if he couldn't have me no-one could"
she isn't crying anymore she has a very determined look on he face and I decide not to interrupt her and I just nod.
"he hurt me Ryan, it hurt so bad and every time I though I would die but I just thought of you and that you would come and rescue me. I fell asleep every night praying that you would find me"
she looks up at me again and seeing tears slowly creeping there way down my cheeks she kisses them away and continues in a quieter voice
"But you never came for me, I though that you didn't care."
I reply stunned that she could think that
"Marissa I NEVER forgot you, I spent all day everyday out looking for you, I haven't eaten since you left except when mom made me. I haven't slept and every time I did I would wake up with nightmares about what that bastard was doing to you. Marissa I love you more than anything in this whole entire world and. . . ."
I continue quietly as I start to sob
"when you were stolen my heart went with you, I hate myself for not being here to protect you, Marissa, I failed you. If I didn't get you back when I did I wouldn't have been able to live without you."
As I finish saying that I put my head in my hands and sob like I never had before. She looks at me
"Ryan the thought of you was the only thing that kept me going, as I would cry myself to sleep I would beg and scream for you, you are all I could ever want and need, Ryan I LOVE you"
as she says this she leans over and gently kisses me.
I pull back
"Marissa? What exactly did he do to you?"
she pulls away further and looks into my eyes, pleading me not to ask again as she bows her head and starts to speak quietly
"he; he; he beat me and and he he he, Raped me everyday and I would scream for you but he told me that you had given up on me. I tried to fight back but all that did was hurt more. He would kick me to wake me up and and I wished I was safe with you"
she looks up with those eyes and I wish that I had tried harder to find her. I ask
"how do you know that we lost the baby?"
"when he was beating me I told him not to hurt the baby"
I notice as she bows her head
"what did he do?"
"when I told him he stood on me and started jumping, he said that I didn't need to worry anymore cause the baby was gone"
She collapses into my arms and I promise myself from this day forward that I will be there to kiss away every tear and never EVER let anybody hurt her again. I rock gently with her in my arms and plant sweet kisses on top of her head.
"you know what I missed most?"
she says with a seductive tone
"what?"
as I ask she leans over and kisses me passionately.
"honey, are you sure your ready for this?"
"after 2 ½ months your rejecting sex?"
"no, I just want to make sure that your ok?"
and I know he answer as she slowly undresses me, and I chuckle remember that this is how she teases me.
I know that he's uncertain but this is the only way that I will feel complete again, all I ever need is Ryan. He is kissing back more passionately and I know that he has missed me too. Down to our underwear now I slowly push his boxers down with my legs and I feel him against my leg. I reach down to my underwear and his kisses slowly make their way down to where my hands are and we both remove them together adding them to the pile of clothes on the floor and he continues to kiss further down and I know that he is teasing me. I reach down for his neck and pull it back up so that his on top of me and his tongue is slowly massaging me.
As I close my eyes memories come flashing back- of Trey and then Oliver. My whole body grows tense and I open my eyes.
"is everything okay?"
I look up into his eyes.
"Just memories of Trey. . . . and Oliver."
He pauses and lays next to me on the bed.
"Are you having day terrors?"
"I am just so scared Ryan."
Not knowing what to say, I gently pull her closer to me. As she rolls over. She whimpers.
She looks into my eyes and I can see the pain.
"Think we need to go to the hospital"
She nods.
We dress slowly and lock the house as he walks besides me supporting me, and opens the passenger side door
"thanks"
he just smiles. As he gets in and turns that car on the radio turns on and I here a song that I recognise but I don't remember where from:
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
He leans over and whispers
"I would follow you into the dark in a second without even giving it a second thought, give up my life for you to live in a heart beat and take away all your pain if I could."
I reply
"so would I, Ryan I LOVE you."
he reaches over and takes my hand rubbing it gently.
Hey guys, did you like? It's a long chapter hey I wasn't planning on writing that much but I was on a roll, twist next chapter! R&R xxx
Shar-Lyn. By the way the song is Deathcab- I will follow you into the dark.