Hello! Okay, I know that abortion is a tabo subject. By writing this chapter I don't believe that it is always the answer. I just wanted to apologize if it offends anyone, I am not doing it intentionally. I think in a situation like the one Marissa and Ryan are in that it is the right decision for them. Having said that anyone that goes through a situation like Marissa and ends up pregnant and has the baby, you must be a VERY strong person and I truly admire you. Honestly if I was in this position I don't know what I would do. I don't believe that it is wrong but I don't know whether it is like always the right thing. Truly I don't know but no offence is meant. Lovies always, Shar-Lyn. Read and Review and please feel free to criticise as long as it is constructive. XXX Ps. it's sort of a long chapter. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR WRITING THIS.
I'm Here For You
We pull into the clinic parking lot, no matter how bad I want this to be over I am still scared that something could go wrong. What if I lose her forever?
I look over to her I can see that she too can't wait for this to be over but she is apprehensive at the same time.
"Are you sure?"
I ask but I already know the answer.
"Yes"
She responds- the answer I expected.
She looks over to me and her eyes ask me the same question.
"I know that we are making the right decision but I just wish we didn't even have to think about it."
"Yeah I know, me too. I never thought that I would be in a situation that I would even have to think about it."
She smiles- a weak smile- but still a smile which is a start.
She jumps out the car as do I and lock it as we walk into the clinic hand in hand. When we walk in the door the cool air-conditioning hits me and sends shivers down my spine, but I don't think that it is just that.
She makes her way over to the desk with me in tow.
"Hi, I need and abortion."
She says bluntly-
I guess it hurts her to show emotion, she is even starting to shut me out again, I thought we got over this in high school. But I know if she is shutting me out it means that it is really hurting her.
"Okay, miss your name please."
The lady sitting behind the desk asks while typing in the computer.
"Mrs Marissa Atwood"
As she types this the lady looks up at me with a look saying 'why should a married woman be having an abortion.' Like we were having and affair. Marissa catches this glance and states coldly.
"This is my husband Mr Ryan Atwood"
The nurse looks sheepishly at me with an apologetic look.
"Okay there is a place at 9:30 and you'll need to head to exam room 3 for a check up first."
"Thank You"
We walk through the door separating the waiting room and exam rooms.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
I ask bracing myself for the same response as last time.
"I couldn't do it without you."
The same response, but this time she says it sweetly and smiles as she takes my hand leading me through the door labelled Exam Room 3.
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go you know I wont give in
No I wont give in.
She walks in the room smiling. Which I'm guessing by the look on the doctor's face that this isn't a normal occurrence.
"Hi, I'm Marissa Atwood and this is my husband Ryan."
She says as we shake the doctors hand.
"Dr. Norton, So you're here for a pre-op check up."
"Yes I am"
She says still smiling. I love her smile a mysterious and innocent smile that intrigues everyone around her.
She jumps up on the bed.
"Mrs Atwood, may I ask you a question?"
Slightly apprehensively she nods
"Why are you happy? I don't mean to offend you but I don't run into very many happy people here"
"Well, I don't know, I guess I'm relieved that I can finally get the abortion."
Her tone has changed completely as she says this, I realise that her smile might be hiding how scared she is.
This statement confuses the doctor even more.
"I don't want to intrude but I am confused."
He instantly reminds me of dad and I am guessing that Marissa senses this too as she answers.
"Oh, this isn't Ryan and my thing. I was attacked."
"Oh, I am so sorry that I asked."
He says looking really guilty and as I look at Marissa's face I know why. She is looking down playing with my hand that is intertwined with hers. I place a kiss on her head. I know now that the smile is just a mask.
He doesn't ask anymore questions as he examines her.
"You look to be okay, a little battered up but there is no reason you can't have an abortion."
"Thank You."
She says genuinely.
"Here put this on. I will go set up the surgery and nurses will be in with a trolley in a few minutes."
"Thank you."
He hands Marissa the gown as he leaves.
She strips off and hands me her clothes to fold.
"He reminds me of dad."
"I know me too."
She says smiling.
The nurses walk in and I reach down for Marissa's hand and pull her in for a hug and hear her sigh.
"Marissa I love you."
"I know I love you too, I know that you are going to worry but it will be okay and after this we can forget him and it forever and maybe we can start our own family."
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
there's nothing you can say, nothing you can do
there's no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
As she is rolled into surgery she blows me a kiss and I catch it.
I wander back to the waiting room and stare at the clock while I pace it's seems like it has been hours when I has really only been a few minutes.
I can't do this as I pace I get more scared, I know that I am supposed to be strong but Marissa is my weakness, she is the only thing that affects me and I love her for it.
I look at my shaky hands and reach them into my pocket and pull out my cell.
I dial a number I have called probably thousands of times in the passed few months.
"Hey Ry, what's up?"
Her cheerful voice makes me smile
"Sum, I need you to come wait with me- I can't do this by myself."
"Babe, what's wrong, where are you?"
"Um, I took Marissa to get the abortion."
"You at the clinic?"
"Yes"
"I'm in the car already see you in a few minutes."
"Sum?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you"
I know she is smiling on the other end.
5 minutes pass but it goes so slowly. I sit with my head in my hands until I here Summer's voice
"Ry?"
I stand as she hugs me.
"Baby, you're shaking."
She states making me really self-conscious.
I look down at my hands and they tremble. I flop back on the couch and she sits next to me.
"How long has it been?"
"15 minutes but it feels like 15 days."
I look up at the nurse who again has a judgemental look on her face and as I look at Summer I realise why. Summer is wearing her Brown sweatshirt and track pants with flip flops. Mind you her sweatshirt is stretch over her swollen middle.
I just look at her and she tops staring.
I stand to pace again and the next thing I know Summer is over at the desk yelling-
"What the hell was that look for, he is my brother-in-law and Marissa his WIFE is my sister and my BESTFRIEND and I am MARRIED to his BROTHER and I case you hadn't noticed I am about to pop. Why are you looking at him like that he didn't so anything wrong it was that bastard that took her. It's his fault. You want to know why she is in getting an ABORTION because she was raped and now she is pregnant with that son of a bitches baby!"
She screamed at her, poor lady, she deserves it but Summer's rage black outs are something scary.
As she finishes I stand behind her and rub her shoulders
"Sum"
She turns with a smile on her face
"I'm thirsty"
I walk over to the water cooler in the corner while Summer takes her seat
"Thank You"
She says as I hand her the water
"Thank you"
-I say.
"For what?"
"Just Thank you"
She smiles back at me I look over to the lady who looks visibly shaken.
I decide to walk over to her-
"Hi"
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so fast to judge you or your wife or your sister in law."
"Yeah about that, I am sorry, she suffers from rage black-out and they have been worse since she has been pregnant."
"Yeah, I think I still deserved it."
"Yeah."
Summer walks over
"Where are the toilets I need to pee."
"Just through those doors"
She say pointing to door in the opposite direction to where Marissa is.
"Thank you"
She turns and walks in the direction the lady pointed.
"If it's no to bold to say, I am sorry about what happened to you wife."
"Thank you."
"Sadly working here I have seen a lot of girls in the same position."
"Yeah"
I take my seat and wait. At least the rage black out proved to be a distraction.
So far away I wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disappear
before the doors close, this comes to an end
but with you by my side I will fight and defend I'll fight and defend.
I sit looking around the room, the walls are grey and the floor is covered in large tiles except in the lounge which is a darker shade of grey carpet. As you walk through the entrance doors to your right is the desk and as I look over the lady smiles another apologetic smile almost like ones I got after Marissa was taken. If you look left as you walk in the doors there is a passage which leads to the toilet and over to the left corner passed the entrance to the toilets is where I am sitting, pacing and desperately hoping that Marissa is okay. As you walk straight in the front doors there is a clear passage to the swinging lifeless doors straight ahead, probably for a emergency so there is easy access. I stare at those door for any sign of life behind them.
As Summer walks back from the toilet the doctor comes out of the doors that lead to surgery. I hold my breath as I stand up next to Summer and she slips her fingers through mine.
"Is Marissa okay?"
I ask hoping- praying- pleading that she is.
"Yes, the surgery went well."
I feel like a massive weight has been lifted and I can't stop smiling. I don't really show emotions unless it involves her.
"Can we see her?"
"She isn't awake yet, but I'm sorry only family members can see her for now."
He says looking at Summer
"Oh, doctor this is Marissa's sister and my brothers wife."
"Sure go through."
He calls out to the lady behind the desk
"Genevieve can you please take them to see Mrs Atwood."
She nods cautiously and walks towards us.
She leads us through the door and down the hall into her room.
Marissa looks so calm.
"I'll leave you with her."
-The nurse says as she leaves us.
I let Summer take the chair beside her bed as I stand on the other side.
"Marissa honey Summer and I are here, your surgery went really well."
I don't know whether she can hear me but I need to talk to her to calm me down.
I stand rubbing her hand, kissing her head, brushing back stray hairs and I caress her cheek. Summer sits is deep thought most of the time.
"Sum?"
"Hmmm?"
"Thank you for being here with me through everything the pasted couple of months, I don't know what I would have done without you."
"You're welcome babe."
She says smiling as she rubs her belly. There are only 3 people that call me babe, baby or anything like it. And they are the 3 most important women in my life, mom, Marissa and Summer. I would be lost without each of them.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
there's nothing you can say, nothing you can do
there's no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.
"Ry."
I hear a faint voice and lift my head and am met by her beautiful blue eyes.
"Rissa, you're up how do you feel?"
"Hmm a little sore."
She says still drowsy
"Marissa, honey."
She turns her head to see Summer's smiling face
"Sum, what are you doing here?"
"Ry called me, he needed someone to wait with him."
She smiles at Summer and I.
"How long did you wait before you called her?"
She says with a cheeky grin
"10 minutes but it felt like 10 days."
She laughs then groans.
"Are you okay?"
I ask as she closes her eyes.
I look at the white sheets lying over Marissa as they turn from a crisp white to red.
"I'll go get the doctor."
Summer says rushing out the doors
"Marissa honey, does it hurt?"
I try to keep her distracted from the sheets.
"No, not really, not any worse than period pains."
She says moving to get in a more comfortable position as the doctor walks in.
"Mrs Atwood can I ask you to lie back on your back."
As she turns back over she groans again and my stomach churns.
He feels her stomach and she whimpers a little.
"Well it's fairly common for bleeding as long as there isn't and excessive amount of pain say no more than period pains."
"So she okay?"
"Yes Mr Atwood, she will be a little sore for a day or so but if the pain becomes un bearable or she is bleed excessively take her straight to the hospital. She will be fine I am sure your wife will know what is more than a period pain."
"What can she take for the pain?"
"Just a normal aspirin should take the pain away."
"Thank You"
"You can take her home now, just make sure she rests. I'll go ask the nurse to bring a wheel chair in."
He says as he leaves.
He walks back in and hands her a box of pads.
"Try wearing one of these for the next couple of days so if you bleed a little it doesn't get on your clothes."
"Thank you."
I help Marissa stand up she winces and I hold her for support. She dresses herself with Summers help as I stand behind her so that she can lean against me, she is still pretty drowsy. Just as she finishes dressing Summer smiles as she sees Marissa is wearing the sweatshirt she brought her.
The nurse wheels in the wheel chair and I help Marissa into it. I wheel her out through those grey doors and through the waiting room and smile at the lady behind the desk.
"Come back for a check up in 10 days just to makes sure everything healed okay."
The doctor says as we stop in the foyer/ waiting room.
"Doctor- thank you."
Marissa says and gives him a smile.
I help Marissa into the passenger side of the car and hand the wheel chair to the nurse that followed us out.
"Bye Sum, thank you for waiting with Ryan."
"My pleasure."
She says as she walks over to the open door and hugs her.
I walk Summer to her car parked further down.
"Thank you again for coming."
"I am always here for you."
"And you know that I am here for you too."
"I know, and I will hold you to that."
She pauses and rubs her belly
"Owww, baby stop it now is not the time."
"Sum what's wrong? Was that a "
"I think I'm having the baby."
I help her back to Marissa waiting in the car
"Sum, what's happening?"
"Baby has decides that it's ready."
I open the back door for Summer and walk back inside the clinic
"Hey, would it be okay if I have a wheel chair for Marissa, I'll bring it back when we have our appointment?"
The lady behind the desk grabs one and brings in it out for me. I put it in the trunk and hop into the drivers side.
"What's the wheelchair for?"
"You, so you don't have to walk."
"You're so cute."
-Marissa says smiling.
"Ry?"
"Yes?"
"I sort of caused a small flood in the back seat."
I look around to see the back seat and a Summers track pants soaked and a clear liquid pooled around her feet.
"Marissa can you please call Seth and tell him to meet us at the hospital?"
"Sure."
She says grabbing her phone dialling the number
"Hey Seth- I'm alright-can you please meet us at the hospital- Summer's waters broke-just come now- no I'll call mom and dad---"
Summer from the back seat-
"Pass me the phone"
Marissa hands her the cell
"Cohen get your skinny little arse to the hospital NOW!"
She closes the cell hands it back to Marissa.
Hey, I know it was sort of long but was it okay? I would love some feed back. Oh, the song is Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne. PS. I forgot to tell you Julie and Neil are married in this story I like them together they are a nice couple. So that makes Summer and Marissa sisters sorry if I caused and confusion. Oh and the reason he hasn't been involved previously is that he was away on a business trip. Obviously not for the 2 and 1/2 months but just when I picked the times to write about. Am I making any sence? READ AND REVIEW xxx Shar-Lyn.