Thanks to messyblackhair66, Amenti, american nymphadora, Lilyluvr, xo-MidnightSun-ox, Deedsla and AuthoressMegz for reviewing :-). I've been away on holiday for the past week so again, I'm sorry for taking ages to update. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Anyway, I wrote this on the aeroplane. It's not the best chapter in the world but hopefully it's okay until I update again, hopefully a little sooner than the last few chapters.
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Ch 23: Truth Hurts
With Lily now gone, James and Sirius were left watching each other uncomfortably. Neither were really that mad at the other anymore but weren't quite ready to back down yet, still maintaining that it was the other's fault. Despite Lily's words, James wasn't quite prepared to swallow his pride completely, but you had to start somewhere.
"I'm sorry Prongs. I was wrong." Sirius said uncomfortably.
James still looked slightly hostile and leaned against the wall. He tried and nearly succeeded in hiding his surprise but replied coolly. "What?"
"What do you mean what?" Sirius asked stiffly. "How could you not have heard me? You're standing less than two metres away." He continued in exasperation.
"No, I heard you." James said casually. "I just wanted to make you say it again."
Sirius scowled muttering "Git" under his breath.
"What was that Sirius?" James asked in an annoyingly cheerful voice, clearly indicating that he had heard every word he had spoken so far. He could tell that it was taking every amount of effort for Sirius to try and make amends but he still wanted to make him suffer for a little while first.
"You know I don't do apologies Prongs. I'm not saying it again." Sirius said flatly.
James watched him expectantly but didn't say a word. "Fine." Sirius snapped when it was clear James wasn't going to give up. "I'm sorry. I was wrong about Lily and I shouldn't have tried to sabotage your relationship."
James nodded in satisfaction. "Anything you'd like to say Prongs?" Sirius prodded tetchily.
"Nup."
"Prongs." Repeated Sirius through gritted teeth.
"Did you want something Padfoot?" James asked overbrightly. He was very much enjoying Sirius' immense discomfort and growing annoyance.
"I think you have something to say too." He said tersely.
"Sorry for ditching you for Lily even though she is much better company than you. I shouldn't have tried to punch you in the face either, even if you would have deserved it and your nose would have looked much better." James said reluctantly. Sirius, however, didn't look quite so pleased with this response.
"Was there an apology buried deep within that pile of insults? And what was that crack about my nose?" Examining his nose carefully with his fingers, the nose remark seemed to bother Sirius the most.
While far from an adequate apology in either's opinions, the awkward mood between them seemed to have evaporated mostly.
"So, have you stopped being a grumpy, scowling prat?" James asked.
"Have you stopped being an Evans-obsessed, friend-ditching git?" Was Sirius' reply.
"How important is the Evans-obsessed aspect?" James quipped. And reluctantly, neither could hold back a small grin.
"I missed you mate." Sirius said gruffly. James felt his spirits lift. Things just hadn't been the same without Sirius.
"Me too." James muttered.
"Geez, Evans is right. You are conceited mate. You missed yourself huh?" Sirius said with a smirk and James muttered "Prat."
Their argument behind them and things more or less back to normal, James and Sirius gave each other a manly hug. With a brotherly pat on the back they pulled back slightly awkwardly. Hugs were for sissies.
"This never leaves this corridor." Sirius said firmly as they headed down the corridor to the common room.
James nodded resolutely. "We never speak of this again."
---
Strong arms enveloped Lily and pulled her into a warm hug. "Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" James whispered into her ear between soft kisses on her neck.
Lily sighed contentedly. "I could get used to this."
"I'm serious Lily." His warm hazel eyes bored into hers. "I can't thank you enough. I honestly don't know how you do it."
"I didn't do anything." Lily said breezily. "I don't know what you're talking about."
James shifted. "Lily, can't you just take a compliment." He said exasperatedly.
"Fine. Thank you." Lily said, not quite sure what she was taking a compliment for but deciding it was just easier to agree with him for this particular issue.
"What about you and Marly?" James asked concernedly. "Are you okay again?"
"I don't know. She's still a bit distant but things are okay." Lily sighed.
James looked at her sternly. "Lily, don't let your pride get in the way of something important to you." He said with a slight smile. Lily returned it dryly.
"This is a bit different than with you and Sirius. Thank you for your advice but my pride isn't getting in the way of anything. Marly knows that I'm always here for her and eventually she'll realise that Will is bad for her. I just hope that he doesn't do too much damage before then. I've done all I can, there's nothing else I can do but just be there for her when she needs me." Lily said kind of sadly. She missed Marly and hated the distance between them.
James hugged her comfortingly and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Keep your chin up Lil. Things will get better." Lily smiled. James always knew the right things to say. Most of the time.
"Well, for now I have to counsel Clara on her latest break up. She too doesn't seem to know which guys to stay away from." Lily said tiredly.
She couldn't count the number of times that the three other seventh year Gryffindor girls had counselled Clara after her poor little heart had been broken yet again. But recently the duty had been almost solely handed to Lily. Natalie was avoiding most of them, Marly was still too wrapt up in Will and Lily was there to try and support everyone.
"You do too much Lily. Why can't someone else do that? Why can't someone be there for you for once instead of the other way round?" James asked.
"They were and they are. But at the moment I'm not the one that needs support. Clara does. I don't have time for a meltdown at the moment." Lily smiled slightly to reassure James who was still looking at her worriedly.
"I'm fine James. And thank you for making me feel better. I'm Clara's rock and your mine." She kissed him quickly on the lips and with another small smile, hurried off to the dormitory to listen to poor Clara's woes. James watched her leave, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.
---
After a few days of chowing down on chocolate, Clara seemed to have more or less mended her broken heart. Marly was now spending just about every waking hour off somewhere with Will and Lily couldn't have been more grateful for James. He was always there when she needed him, always willing to give her a warm hug or a kiss, always knew just what to say to make her smile.
"Lily." James sidled up to her in the busy Gryffindor looking slightly uneasy.
"What's up James?" Lily asked looking concerned.
James took a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. "I can't do rounds tonight." He said quickly.
"Why? Are you okay?" Lily looked surprised. At the start of the year Lily had very much doubted James' responsibility towards his position of Head Boy. But throughout the year he had proven to be just as dedicated as her, never once missing patrols, never failing to show up to meetings, never slacking off.
"Yea, I'm just… er… busy tonight." James said awkwardly. He had come up with a million and one excuses, each more feeble than the last. He couldn't lie to Lily; she would see right through it, she always did.
"What do you mean you're busy? You've never missed patrols before. What are you doing?" She was beginning to look suspicious now and James was desperately wondering how he was going to get out of this without making her suspicious. He couldn't.
"I really wish I could tell you Lily, but I can't."
"You can't tell me?" Lily's eyes narrowed slightly. She was getting annoyed.
James shook his head. "Why not?"
"Because, it's not my thing to tell." James answered.
Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "Whatever James. I'm sick of this. If you don't want to tell me then whatever. Just remember, how can you expect me to trust you if you can't even tell me the truth?" Lily said angrily before turning on her heel and walking towards her dormitory.
"Lily." James called and rushed after her. She was taking this even worse than expected. Well, maybe not worse. About as bad as expected.
"Lily, don't be like this." James pleaded, looking up at her from where she was standing half way up the stairs.
"Later James. I've got to go get ready for patrols by myself so if you don't mind could you please leave me alone." Defeated, James watched her as she stomped the rest of the way to her dorm.
He knew this would come one day. He knew it from the first day he asked her out, from the day when she had kissed him in the common room. But that didn't make him dread it any less. He was lucky he supposed that it had taken this long for the issue to come up. Coincidentally, every other full moon this year hadn't clashed with their alternating patrols so his absence had never been noted by Lily. Until now.
With less enthusiasm than he had ever approached a full moon expedition, James went off to find his fellow Marauders. He felt guilty about leaving Lily to do patrols in the eerie castle all by herself but knew in his heart that he couldn't let his friends down either. These monthly escapades had been tradition for over two years now, he wasn't about to let things change.
---
Grumpily, Lily proceeded around the cold dark castle. She didn't like the dark, or the cold and she especially didn't like being by herself. Sure her patrols with James hadn't always been fun exactly, especially at the start of the year, but it was still better than being alone.
Lily was still incredibly curious about whatever James was up to that night, not to mention still pissed off that he wouldn't tell her. And she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. What on earth could be so secretive that he couldn't, or wouldn't, tell her?
A horrible thought struck Lily. What if he was doing something illegal? But no, not even James would be that stupid. Maybe it was for a prank? No, she was sure he wouldn't bail out of patrols just for a prank. Was he cheating on her? Lily shook her head firmly even though she was alone. James wouldn't do that. He loved her. He told her so every day even if Lily still hadn't been able to figure out yet if she really loved him back. She definitely liked him… a lot. She valued his company more than anything and she missed him when he wasn't around. But was that love?
It grew later and later and Lily was sorely tempted to go to bed early but she wasn't quite rebellious enough to skive off her duties. Well, rebellious for Lily anyway.
Thankfully Lily didn't come across any students that were out of bed. She didn't like taking points off people, except the occasional rude Slytherin, and definitely wasn't in the mood to punish people that night.
As she wandered slowly through one of Hogwarts castle's many corridors a soft noise sparked her interest. Leaning closely towards one of the empty classroom she was sure she could hear soft crying.
Prising the door open as quietly as she could, Lily peered into the room. It was dark and she couldn't see much except for the shadow of a figure huddled up in the back corner.
"Who's there?" She called kindly. She didn't want to upset whoever it was more so than they already were.
A face turned in the direction of the door where Lily was standing but she couldn't quite make out who it was, if it was even someone she knew.
"Lily? Is that you?" Lily gaped in shock.
"Marly?"
With a quick flick of her wand Lily softly lit the candles around the room before rushing over to where Marly was crouched in the corner.
"What happened?" Lily asked, worry written across her face as she knelt down next to her friend.
"H-he-he u-used m-m-me." Marly sobbed and flung herself onto Lily.
Lily pulled her into a comforting hug, rubbing her back soothingly and trying to calm her sobbing friend. She could not for the life of her make out the inaudible mumbles that Marly emitted but gathered enough to understand that that slimy, creepy, good for nothing Slytherin prick had broken poor Marly's heart.
"Shhhh, tell me what happened." Lily said gently when Marly had calmed down enough that her shoulders where no longer shaking with her hacking sobs and her breathing was slowed enough to talk properly.
"You were right. About everything. About him." Marly said, tears still leaking from her swollen eyes.
"Start from the beginning." Lily said, still rubbing Marly's back soothingly.
Lily listened for what felt like an hour as Marly spilled her guts. By the end, Lily was nearly crying too for all the heartbreak her poor friend had suffered. This was worse than Clara's latest break up and it hurt Lily more to know that strong, independent Marly could be do devastated, so messed up by one guy.
"I don't really know how we got together, it just kind of… happened. He was really sweet and caring and I fell for him. He always brought me flowers and chocolates and told me I was beautiful. He just really knew how to make me feel special, like I was the only girl in the world." Lily listened raptly. She understood most of this. He was a damn good actor, that wasn't in doubt.
"I know you were upset that I didn't tell you." Marly looked apologetically at Lily who waved her hand airily and motioned for her to go on. "He said he didn't want everyone to know. I didn't really think twice about it and just accepted his reason that what we had was so special and that he didn't want everybody knowing our business." A few tears leaked from Marly's eyes but she brushed them away brusquely.
"Now I know that it was because he was embarrassed of me. That and the fact that he was supposedly banging that Slytherin tart Alicia behind my back." She added bitterly. Lily looked shocked and outraged but didn't interrupt.
"Eventually I told you guys because I didn't want to keep a secret any longer. I didn't expect anyone else to find out or somehow get back to him. He was really angry and yelled at me. But then he apologised, told me he loved me and brought me roses that I forgave him. God I was stupid!" Now could have been the perfect time for Lily to say 'I told you so' but her friend was so distressed that the thought didn't even cross her mind. She would have done anything to have been wrong. For James to have been wrong. For Will to have turned out to be a really great guy, despite being a Slytherin, and made Marly happy.
"I really thought he was the one. I thought he loved me. I hoped that you would all realise that he really was a great guy, that he was just shy around other people. But it turned out that everything you said was right. I was nothing more than another conquest to him. After he got what he wanted he discarded me like I never even existed." More tears spilled from her eyes and Lily hugged her again.
Marly pulled back sharply. "You should hate me Lily. For all the mean things I said to you, everything I've done. I don't deserve a friend like you. I'm horrible." Overwhelmed by more tears, Marly buried her face in her hands.
"Marly, you made a mistake, that's all. You're not horrible. You're my best friend in the whole world and I would never hate you." Lily squeezed Marly's hand reassuringly.
"How about we go back to our dorm now, okay?" Lily asked gently. Marly nodded and slowly Lily helped her to her feet. Bugger patrols, Lily had more important things to worry about now.
Once Marly was fast asleep in the dorm, Lily sat by the open window, letting the cool breeze soothe her. She didn't need to tell Marly all the things James had told her about Will. He'd hurt her bad enough, she didn't need anything else.
A loud howl echoed from the forest in the distance. A full moon shone brightly in the sky and it was lucky that Lily didn't look too carefully at the grounds that night or she might have met an interesting sight. A sight that might have needed a hell of a lot of explaining.
Apart from her fight with James, things were looking up in Lily's life. Friendships seemed to be mending themselves as they should. Lily had her best friend back and James had his. Now all she needed to work on was trying to shake that frustrated feeling about whatever James wasn't telling her. Maybe she'd ask him again tomorrow and maybe he might actually answer. But for now, Lily wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. There was plenty of time to worry about James, and Marly, tomorrow.