24. Rosemary; Remembrance

(All the Small Things)

Word Count: 889

Note: Takes place before the Journey West, when Gojyo and Hakkai are sharing Gojyo's house after their run-in at the market. Canon-wise, you could put it in Reload: Gunlock.

"Don't think of me that way," Hakkai said just before Gojyo went for the bedroom door. The half-demon turned and rolled his eyes. Hakkai was the introspective type, liked to think on things and analyze them far after Gojyo had forgotten about them. Sometimes this created great controversy between the two of them, but most times Gojyo just laughed it off while Hakkai continued to dwell on it. They let each other alone, which was fine by the both of them, but at the moment the red head was just too tired to banter with his friend and had decided early on to concede to anything Hakkai might bring up.

"What are you going on about now?" he asked, exasperated but willing to hear him out if he made it fast. He was tired, dammit -- too tired even for a cigarette or a drink before bed.

"Without my limiters. The way I become -- I wouldn't want you to look back after all of this think about how I am." Hakkai sank down into one of the rickety chairs by the bottle-strewn table and put his head in his hands. Gojyo groaned audibly; this was going to be a long discussion. Hoping to shorten it, he slouched against the doorframe, clearly showing his live-in guest that he was not getting comfortable and to finish up fast.

"Yeah, and your point is?" He gestured with one hand to try and speed it along, although Hakkai couldn't see this. He was methodically rubbing his temples, as if warding off an oncoming migraine.

"My point?" Hakkai asked, turning around and looking sharply at Gojyo. "My point is that ten years from now you're going to tell some girls in a bar about how you had this friend who could turn into a vengeful, bloodthirsty demon. My point is that you're never going to look at me the same, because now you'll see that monster inside of me."

Gojyo rolled his eyes and stalked across the room to the table, where he rummaged for a minute before a pack of cigarettes and a lighter surfaced. He lit up and, after taking a drag, pointed a finger at Hakkai. "You, my friend, are being way too melodramatic. Cut the soap opera crap and give it to me straight. What's really buggin' you?"

Hakkai blinked. Gojyo poured them both shots in paper cups of a random bottle of unfinished alcohol, handed one to the brunette and tossed back his own.

"That's it," Hakkai said blankly.

"Really?" The red head took another drag on the cigarette, cleared some space on the tabletop, and sat down. "That's all?"

"Yeah. What did you --?"

"Hakkai, do you really think I give a shit about any of that? You really think that's who I am? All this time living with me and you still don't get that stuff? Man, I wonder if you've been sleep walking all this time or something, 'cause you obviously don't know me." Gojyo shook his head, as if marveling at the sadness of it all, and, forgoing the cup, grabbed the entire bottle and tipped some down his throat.

Hakkai was meticulously pinching the rim of his cup into little triangles -- just something to keep his hands occupied, it appeared. "I didn't mean to seem like I'm fishing for pity," he said hesitantly, as if afraid to continue with that train of thought.

"Stop it," Gojyo said, and pointed the empty bottle in Hakkai's face. Obediently, the brunette stopped talking. "Now, drink that." Hakkai picked up the cup and swallowed the liquor, his eyes still on Gojyo's face. "Stand up." He did so.

The redhead hopped off of the table and stood directly in front of him, placed his large hands on Hakkai's narrow shoulders, and brought their faces so close that their noses nearly touched. With such close proximity, there was no glare from Hakkai's glasses, and Gojyo could look directly into green eyes that he wouldn't hesitate to admit were gorgeous. That shade of green, he felt, would be beautiful on anything.

"I don't care what you did before you came here, or what you do when I'm not around -- hell, I don't care what you do when I am around. I don't care what you were then or who you are now. You're a demon? Who the hell cares? Definitely not me. When I tell people 'bout you, Hakkai, it's gonna be about how you nagged me to clean up and how you got up early in the morning to make breakfast, and how when I come home late and go to your room to see if you're asleep, you pretend you are and I still can tell that you're not. It's gonna be about Hakkai, not about something that doesn't matter. Got that?" Gojyo stared at him hard, levelly, demanding an affirmative.

"Yes," Hakkai said, and his smile, vanished for an instant, returned, very small.

"Good," the half-demon said, took his hands off Hakkai's shoulders, and went for his bedroom door. Before he went in, he turned around and added, "And will you actually sleep tonight? 'Cause I swear you haven't in a week."

"I'll try," the brunette promised, laughing. "Good night."

"'Night," Gojyo replied.

He could only hope that Hakkai would return the favor.