Chapter I.- Heaven..
Paradise. The abode of righteous souls after death; heaven. The one place where all is perfect; where words like happiness, laughter, truthfulness, honesty, joy and fulfillment are engraved into every being in golden letters, and words like despair, grieving, abandonment, vengeance and sadness seem forgotten, non-existent. The one place that, deep down, everyone wants to go to. The one place that has been created in every mind a thousand times. The one place that no one knows and everybody wish they knew.
Marko Kovac, a young boy around 12 years old looked around his surroundings and sighed. Yes, paradise was apparently the best place to be. A place to be happy, where you could start over again and mend your mistakes. It was indeed wonderful, and he had his family (or part of it) in there. Still, he didn't feel entirely happy. He couldn't help it and no matter how hard he tried he was always invaded by the same feeling of uneasiness each time.
Everyone could have said that he had everything there, but the truth was that he didn't. The truth was that he lacked an important piece of his heart. His father.
He tried to think about that day. The day when it all happened. The day he and his family died and were brought to where they were now. He tried and tried to remember that day. To place the events as they had happened, but the only answer he got, was the same answer he always got each time he thought about that: Nothing. He tried again. Still nothing. He just couldn't remember that day. It was as if it had never happened. As if it had been removed or erased from the course of history. He closed his eyes in frustration. Yes, he couldn't remember anything, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened, because it had, and his family wasn't the same. His mother, sister and himself were now in heaven whilst his father remained alive. He knew and understood that. He understood why his father wasn't there with them. It hadn't been his time...and he had lived. But still, it wasn't fair that he couldn't remember. It wasn't fair that he couldn't remember and that he didn't know how his family had been separated. How the events of one day had altered their lives.
He took a deep breath and realized it was probably better to think of something else. Still, he couldn't think about anything else at the moment. His mind was overrun by thoughts and his soul by feelings. All blurred memories and intense feelings, of the times when his family was together. He closed his eyes in an attempt to relive a memory. Any memory. But all were hazy and unclear. No one was clear enough to be relived. He could only see images of his mother and father's faces over his crib. Smiling. Caressing his little face. Their voices singing and comforting him. But that was it. He could see nothing more.
Hi soul was almost emptied when he realized that those memories were all he had. It was all ironic and yet amazing, how a bunch of blurred memories could be so cherished and so powerful. He sighed. Yes, it was ironic, but it was better than not to have any memories at all. Better than not to have anything to hold on to.
What he had now really meant a lot to him, but it still wasn't enough to satisfy the inner need he felt he had to quench. The need to understand exactly what had happened to his family...and why. The need to understand the situation that had triggered all the changes he had lived and was still experiencing.
This didn't mean that he didn't like heaven, because he did. His mother and sister were there and they all had what they needed to be happy and comfortable. But it upset him that he didn't know anything about his father's life, or if he was ok. He wished so badly he knew, at least a little. At least some consoling news telling him that his father was alright and that he was happy.
But no one told him anything. Not a single word. It was frustrating. Older angels knew, he was sure, but not him. He was a young angel and young angels couldn't be involved with people from earth in any way. They couldn't have any type of contact and they couldn't help anyone of contact anyone from earth. It was unnerving! Outrageous! But true. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it was time he resigned himself. He was in heaven and nothing would change that. Nothing that he could do was going to change that.
He took the time to stop thinking and looked at the blue sky surrounding him.. It was better to go back home to his mother and sister.