AN: Guess who's back? Me, of course!!! I'm really sorry guys that I haven't updated this story or any of my other ones in ages, but I've been having a really rough time lately. If you want to know evrything then you're going to have to read my profile cause I'm far too lazy to write evrything out again. Anyways thanks to all of you who stuck with me and this story and for the many reviews that I have recieved. They mean a lot to me guys and you have no idea how great it felt to come home after a crappy day and read all those nice things you guys had to say about my story. I'm really glad that you are all enjoying it.
Disclamier: I've done one for the story already, but in this chapter I'm using a character that isn't mine nor J.K's. The character is Janus Lupin and he belongs too FairyTale. I waited for permission but I never got a reply back so FairyTale if you read this and want Janus out, let me know and I will take him out of the story!
– Chapter Seventeen –
Mirror to the Past
Winter was slowly starting to creep its way into the grounds of Hogwarts. A thin layer of snow had begun to form on the ground and the birds were beginning their journey south. Everything seemed normal, unless of course you counted how a certain boy with ridiculous jet-black hair was being treated.
Ever since the night of the first dueling club meeting, people had began to treat Harry very differently than they had used to. They tried to avoid him as much as possible and if they had to talk with him, they'd speak in a hushed voice and avoid looking him in the eye. None of this went unnoticed by Harry.
Since that night, Harry had begun to ignore people and just concentrate on his schoolwork. He had even begun blocking out Ron and Hermione, ignore their questions of concern and pushed them away with a simple "I'm fine."
Sirius and Remus had noticed his behaviour and both had tried to talk with him about it, but he had begun to avoid them now as well. They only time he seemed to talk to anyone anymore was if he was asking or answering a question, but even that happened rarely.
"Harry, please answer us," Hermione pleaded for what must be the thousandth time. It was lunchtime and the three were currently at the very end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Harry had a few books and pieces of parchment spread out in front of him and he was slowly munching through a sandwich.
"Harry?" she tried again. Still, Harry didn't answer her.
"Come on mate, talk to us. We don't care what those people think about you," Ron said.
Harry sighed and shoved his books and parchment back into his bag. "But maybe they're right," he said as he stood up and started out of the hall.
Hermione ran up to him and grabbed his arm to stop him. Harry stopped but he wouldn't meet her gaze.
"Harry, where are you going? We've still got another forty-five minutes left-"
"Correction," he interrupted, "You have another forty-five minutes left. I have a class to go to," he pulled his arm out of her gasp and left.
Hermione sat back down at the table with Ron. "I give up. He doesn't even listen to us anymore."
Ron sighed. "I know. Fred and George tried playing a prank on him last night, but he found out at the last second and avoided it. He just ignored the whole thing and kept working."
"I know I'm always telling you two to be more serious about your school work, but I didn't think he would spend all his time at it. He spends more time researching and studying then I do," Hermione said.
"You think there's anything we can do about it?" Ron asked.
Hermione shook her head. "I don't think there's anything we can do. We've done all we can and he still won't talk to us. I guess we'll just have to let him do all this on his own. He sure doesn't want our help."
"Who doesn't want your help?" asked Sirius as he and Remus joined the two. It wasn't odd to see the two Professors seating at the Gryffindor table as they had been doing it for the last couple of weeks, talking with Hermione and Ron.
"Harry," said Ron simply, taking a bite out of his apple.
"Ah," Remus muttered.
Hermione sighed. "I can understand why he's acting the way he is, but what I don't understand is why he won't talk to us about it. He's totally blocking us out."
"Well you know Harry. He likes to try and deal with things like this by himself," Remus answered.
"And this year has been really tough on him so far. Just look at everything he's had to deal with," said Sirius.
"He still shouldn't be pushing his friends aside," Ron said grimly.
"You're right, Ron. He shouldn't," Remus answered. "But there isn't much we can do about that. All we can do is wait for Harry to come to one of us and talk about it."
"Always the voice of wisdom, eh Remus," Sirius teased.
Remus jus ignored Sirius's comment and dug into his food.
"Ah, Harry," said Dumbledore cheerfully as Harry appeared at the top of the ladder.
"Good afternoon Professors," Harry answered, coming into the Divinations Classroom. Professor Toggart smiled at him.
"I asked Professor Dumbledore here to help me teach you today's lesson. Is that alright with you?"
Harry nodded. "Doesn't bother me," he said as he took his side on one of the fluffy poufs.
Dumbledore and Professor Toggart exchanged glances. Sirius and Remus weren't the only Professors to have noticed a definite change in Harry's behaviour.
"Okay," Professor Toggart said, leaning back against the front of his desk. "You read up on the time mirrors like I asked, yes?"
Harry nodded. "Time Mirrors are one of the more advanced ways of seeing into either the future or past and they are extremely difficult to create and control. In order to create one, you normal need two or more wizards because of the power needed to create them. Only four wizards have ever been strong enough to control and create them by themselves. Merlin, Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin."
"Correct," said Professor Toggart with a smile on his face. "Now, Professor Dumbledore and I will create one to show you how it's done. Then I'd like you to try and create one by yourself. You're smart Harry so unless for some reason you just are powerful enough, you should be able to create and control the Time Mirror."
"But Professor," Harry said, a frown forming on his face. "What makes you think I am powerful enough to create one?"
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and Professor Toggart just smiled. "We have faith in you, Harry. So far you have shown yourself to be a powerful wizard. We both believe that you can do this."
Harry sighed and nodded. He was used to hearing this by now and he felt no need to comment on it as every time a Professor told him this, it turned out to be true.
Dumbledore and Professor Toggart pointed their wands towards each other and said "Aura Imagoinis!"
A Bluish portal began to form in between them. It flared and then turned into a plate of glass, floating in mid air. It glass look much like the inside of one of the orbs but the mist had a bluish tint rather then silver.
"I believe you can handle it from here, Atticus?" said Dumbledore. "I have some other business to attend too."
Professor Toggart smiled. "Yes, of course."
Dumbledore nodded and left the room quietly.
Harry stood after the older wizard had left and walked up in front of the mirror, studying it. As he got closer the blue mist started to swirl around more quickly as though it was reacting to him so he stopped.
"Is it supposed to do that?" Harry asked, frowning.
Professor Toggart stared at the mirror for a moment. "Step closer to it, just for a moment."
Harry did as he was told. He took a small step forward and the blue mist began to swirl even more violently. Harry peered at it closely. The blue mist had now taken on an overtone of gold.
"Well that's interesting. I've never seen it do that before," said Professor Toggart, scratching the side of his head.
"Is it a bad thing?" asked Harry.
Professor Toggart shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, but I don't think it should affect anything."
Harry sighed in relief. "Well that's good to hear."
"Umm," Professor Toggart mumbled. "Well anyway, once a mirror is conjured you just have to think about what you want to see whether it be in the past or about the future. Normally if two or more wizards create it, then they have to point their wand at it to get it to show them what they want but if you can create it by yourself then you want need to use your wand."
Harry nodded and pulled out his wand.
"Now," said Professor Toggart, "point your wand out in front of yourself and say, 'Aura Imagoinis'."
Harry took a deep breath and pointed his wand out in front of himself. "Aura Imagoinis!!!"
A reddish-gold flame shot out the end of Harry's wand and started to form a portal in front on him, but inside of the bluish mist, it was a reddish-gold mist, which began to swirl around violently
Harry stared at it in shock. Not just the shock of the fact that he had created one all by himself, but the fact that the mist was a different colour. The normal Time Mirror contained a bluish coloured mist, but his was reddish-gold.
"Is that supposed to happen?" asked Harry.
"Don't worry, Harry," said Professor Toggart. "Dumbledore said your mirror would probably look different then the standard one." He then smiled, "but those sure are some pretty Gryffindor colours."
Harry smiled slightly, but it vanished as soon as he remembered what his father had told him in the dream. You are the last remaining heir of Gryffindor, Harry. Harry sighed deeply. Figures, he thought.
"Is there anything you would like to see in your mirror, Harry?" asked Professor Toggart.
Harry stared at his mirror and thought. Was there anything he wanted to see? Yes, there was. "No," Harry lied. "Nothing."
Professor Toggart looked at him doubtfully, but let it slide. "Alright then," he said, "Your homework is to write an essay on the history behind the time mirrors. As you already seem to know so much about them, it shouldn't be so hard for you."
Harry nodded and then turned back to the mirror. "How do I…" he gestured towards the mirror.
"Just wave your hand in front of it and say 'Finta Incantartm.'"
Harry rolled his eyes. Why didn't I think of that? He thought as he waved his hand in front of him and said the words. The mirror vanished.
Professor Toggart smiled. "Well, looks like I'm going to have to think of some more difficult tasks for you to do."
Harry just shrugged and started packing up his things. Things were starting to become very trivial to him now. He understood most things now and it was starting to scare him. He was scoring better then Hermione, but he tried his best not to let his fear show.
"See you later, Professor," said Harry, stepping towards the ladder.
"Bye-Harry," said Professor Toggart.
Harry quickly reached the bottom of the ladder and stopped. His next class was Transfiguration with his normal class. He wasn't looking forward to it. He wasn't looking forward to any of his regular classes anymore. All those people staring at him and whispering behind his back aggravated him.
Then there was Ron and Hermione. He knew that they only wanted to help him, but they couldn't. Nothing could help him now. Nothing Dumbledore, Sirius or Remus said could have prepared him for the reality that he was facing now.
Harry shook his head. He shouldn't be wasting his time thinking about something he couldn't change. He wouldn't get anywhere if he did that.
Regaining his cold and emotionless demeanour, Harry continued on his way to Transfiguration, unaware of the cloaked figure that followed.
Harry reached his Transfiguration classroom just in time and chose a seat at the back to avoid attention. Ron and Hermione came to sit beside him.
Harry didn't even acknowledge their presence. He felt it best to just ignore them. They couldn't understand what he was going through and he didn't think there was anyone in the world that did.
"Today," Professor McGonagoll began, "we'll be learning how to change frogs into a completely different animal. As this is new, it's best that you start small, like a butterfly. If you completely it correctly then you should be able to change it back."
She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the frog in front of her. "Like so," she said. "Avifors!" The frog changed into a beautiful purple butterfly, which fluttered its wings, trying to take flight.
"Deifors!" The butterfly changed back into a frog.
"Now, all of you try," she said. People all around the room were muttering 'Avifors,' but some scared eyes gazed at Harry intensively.
Harry didn't really want the center of attention. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't want to do it. People were never going to leave him alone if he kept displaying his powers, but the teachers had told him that if a spell was too easy, to make it more difficult for himself. This was one of those spells.
He looked up at McGonagoll to see that she was also watching him closely but for an entirely different reason than the rest of the class. She's testing me, Harry thought. Well, it it's a test, might as well do well on it.'
"I don't get it," said Ron, staring at his deformed frog. He just couldn't seem to work the spell properly.
"Oh, come off it, Ron. It's not that difficult," said Hermione, who was now playing with her red butterfly.
"Easy for you to say," said Ron. "If it's that easy, why hasn't Harry done it?"
"Because I don't want too," said Harry, pulling out his wand. People turned to look at him. "But I don't have much of a choice. 'Avifors'!" He muttered lazily.
There was a flash of golden light that exploded out of his wand and where the frog once was, now sprang a beautiful blue ice bird. It sang out loudly, drawing everyone's attention. Before it had a chance to escape, Harry muttered, "Deifors!" There was another flash and the frog had now returned, hopping around on Harry's desk.
Harry sagged back into his seat and sighed deeply, noticing that everyone was now whispering. He really wasn't in the mood for this.
McGonagall now stood in front of Harry's desk and Harry could see that she looked somewhat proud. "Well Done, Mr. Potter. Twenty points to Gryffindor, for such a wonderful Transfiguration."
Ron scowled. "Okay, I give up. How did you two do that?"
Hermione laughed and for the first time since the Dueling club, Harry smiled.
Later that night, Harry, who had pretended to go up to bed early, pulled the Invisibility cloak over himself and crept back downstairs into the common room, wanting to go out to get away from everything for a little while. Not many people were there this late as night, but he saw Hermione and Ron in the far corner chatting quietly to Professor Lupin.
Curious to know what Remus was doing in Gryffindor Tower, Harry crept silently towards them, careful not to hit anything on the way. As he got closer, he could hear what they were saying.
"But Professor, he's getting even more distant from us," said Hermione softly. "I thought we were getting to him in Transfiguration today, but after that he just started ignoring us again. Waiting for him to come to us isn't going to work."
Remus sighed. "I know, Hermione, but what else can we do? We can't force Harry to come to us and tell us what's wrong. We can only let him know that we're here if he needs us."
"But what good will that do?" said Ron. "He's suffering, Professor. He may try to hide his feelings, but he can't hide them from us. We wouldn't be good friends if we didn't know something was wrong."
Harry leaned against the wall. This was not what he had been expecting to hear. He didn't know that his friends were this worried about him.
"Sirius and I both know something is wrong as well and we've both tried on several occasions to try and get him to talk to us but he won't. He's been pushing us away just like he has with you two," Remus finished.
"I have good reason too," said Harry from underneath the cloak. He then bolted from the common room, hearing his name being called behind him, but he ignored it. He knew they couldn't see him, but he kept running all the same.
He kept running until he ran out the entrance door to Hogwarts. From there, he continued to walk across the grounds towards the Quidditch pitch. He couldn't think of anywhere else to go.
The night was cold as Harry trudged through the thin blanket of snow that had fallen onto the grounds. It didn't bother him as much as it normally would. He hardly noticed the cold, too wounded up in his own thoughts.
He reached the pitch and looked around. The pitch was dark; snow had covered every inch of it. The half moon filtered down upon it, outlining the frost-covered hoops at the far end on either side of the pitch.
Harry pulled out his wand and made sure his invisibility cloak was still on tight. Then he uttered, "Accio Lightenbolt" and waited. He didn't have to wait long however. Soon he could hear the sounds of his Lightenbolt streaming quickly towards him.
He turned and saw it hurtling towards him, just like his Firebolt had done last year during the First Tas… Harry shook his head hard as the Lightenbolt stopped dead in mid-air beside him, waiting for him to mount. He really couldn't afford to be thinking about last year. It would only make things worse than they already were.
He swung his leg over the broom and kicked off from the ground. The world around him suddenly didn't matter as he soared higher into the night. All that mattered now was the broom and the feeling of freedom that flying gave him. Up here, it didn't matter how powerful you were or what people thought about you. It was the only place where Harry felt truly like nothing mattered in the world.
As the wind brushed past him, it began to tear his invisibility cloak off him, so he let it and once it was off, he tucked it under his arm. He really didn't care if anyone saw him up here and he had points taken away. He'd just earn them all back again tomorrow anyways.
Finally, after flying around for a bit, Harry landed high up in the stands and just sat. His life was getting too hard for him. He just wanted everything to stop.
Not really knowing what else to do, Harry pulled out his wand and muttered two words, "Aura Imagoinis."
Like before, the reddish-gold flame shot out of Harry's wand and formed a portal in front of him. He stared deep into the reddish-gold mist, trying to think why he had conjured a Time Mirror, when the mirror answered his unspoken question.
The mist swirled and a picture formed. Foggy at first, but then it got clearer. He only realized what he was seeing when he heard a voice say, "Oh, be careful, Sirius. I don't want you to drop him."
"Stop worry, Lily. Padfoot won't drop him, will you?"
"Of course I won't. You know I'd die before I hurt Harry," said Sirius.
"Padfooh!" squealed a happy little voice.
Harry stared at the scene with tear-filled eyes. It was his parents, Sirius and himself in what looked like a huge backyard with tons of other people around that Harry didn't recognize. It looked like they were having some sort of party, for what Harry didn't know.
"I know, but I can't help worrying. It's a mother's instinct you know," said Lily, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Oh, so are you trying to say that I don't have any instincts," said James.
"Prongs, you don't have any instincts," said Sirius, swirling around again with Harry in his arms. The child laughed.
"I'd have to agree with you there, Sirius," said Remus. Coming towards the small group. Harry gasped at how young Remus use to look. Not nearly as tired and fragile looking as he was now.
"Moony, I was beginning to wonder if you were coming at all, said James, smiling.
Remus smiled in return. "You really think I was going to miss Harry's birthday."
"Moony!" Harry squealed and began to reach for him.
"Hey, sure. Abandon me," said Sirius, handing Harry over to Remus.
"I guess Harry just likes one Godfather better that the other, right James," said Lily, trying to suppress some giggles.
"Oh definitely," James agreed, joining in on the joke while trying to keep a straight face, but he failed miserably.
'What?' Harry thought to himself, as he continued to stare into the mirror. 'I have two Godfathers! But why didn't Remus or Sirius tell me?'
They all began to laugh at the look on Sirius' face. "Fine," he said. "Be mean."
"Oh, don't take it like that, Padfoot," said Remus. "Harry just probably missed me. He gets to see you everyday."
Sirius sighed in defeat. "Okay. If you say so."
"Hi, everyone,' said Peter, poking his head out of the crowd.
"Hey, Pet, what took you so long?" asked James.
"Probably some Death Eater meeting," said Harry.
"I had some business that kept me," he said joining them. He then turned to Harry, who was now clinging tightly to Remus. "Hey Harry. Happy Birthday," but Harry didn't respond. Instead he buried his head into Remus' chest.
"See. Even when I was a baby, I knew something was bad about you," said Harry to the mirror image of Wormtail.
"Yes, I'm not the only one that Harry's rejected today!" said Sirius with a smile.
"Padfooh," said Harry looking at him strongly.
"What?" said Sirius.
"I think what he's trying to say is that he doesn't reject you, Padfoot," said James. "Just that he'd rather be with Moony right at the moment."
"And what about me?" Peter asked. Harry buried his face in Remus' robes again.
Remus just shrugged at this. "Maybe he's playing hide-and-seek with you."
"Play what?" asked Sirius.
Lily and Remus both shook their heads. "Hide-and-seek, Sirius," Lily answered. "It's a Muggle game where a bunch of people hide and the person it has to seek them out. Sort of like how the seeker finds the snitch."
"Except it's played on the ground," Remus added.
"Ah," said Sirius in understanding.
"Daddy," said Harry, lifting his head slightly to look at James.
James walked questionably over towards Remus and took Harry from him. "What's wrong, Harry?"
Harry grabbed hold of James and buried his head into James' robes. James wasn't sure what was wrong.
"James?" Lily asked questionably, coming closer to the pair.
"I don't know," said James, staring down, confused, at the little boy in his arms.
Harry leant closer to the mirror, wondering what was happening to his younger-self.
"Harry, what's wrong?" James asked again.
Harry tightened his grip. "Bad men," the child said simply.
James exchanged a look with Lily.
"What did he say?" Sirius asked.
"He said 'bad men'. Ever since we found out Voldemort was after us, he's been having nightmares,' said James sadly.
"But how could he even comprehend what that means?" Peter asked.
Sirius and Remus had already figured out what that meant. "It's his powers, isn't it?" Remus asked.
James nodded as he adjusted Harry in his arms. "We think he's been having visions of something, we're not exactly sure what."
"Traitor," said Harry, earning curious glances from everyone.
Harry smiled a little. 'Smarty,' he thought. He noticed that all the color had drained from Peter's face.
"What did he mean by that?" Lily asked.
James just shrugged. "I don't know."
Peter cleared his throat. "You guys, Harry just gave me an idea and it's important. I'm sorry, but I need to go."
"Oh, but Peter-" it was too late. Peter was gone.
The mist in the mirror swirled again and began to form another picture. It was the living room Harry had seen in his first vision. His father was sitting on the couch, looking extremely tired and worn out. Baby Harry was sitting on the floor playing with magical building blocks, which were hovering slightly off the ground.
"James?" Lily said from the kitchen doorway on the other side of the room. "You should go to bed. You've been working yourself too hard trying to hunt down all those Death Eaters and you're exhausted."
"I can't go to bed, Lily," he answered, rubbing his eyes. "You know that."
Lily just sighed. "You know that I can very easily whip up a dreamless-sleep potion and force it down your throat."
James chuckled. "It's better that you don't. I'm on call and what would you like to say to Mr. Fritzsch if he called and you had to explain why I couldn't come."
At that moment, the doorbell rang.
Lily frowned, as she turned her attention to the front door. "Who could that be?" She said, headed towards the door.
"Moony!" Harry squealed happily, starting to crawl towards the front door.
"Oh no you don't, Squirt," said James as he bent forward and picked Harry up off the floor.
Harry squirmed in his arms, trying to get free. "Moony!"
Harry frowned. Why was his father doing that? He didn't have long to wonder though. Lily screamed.
"Remus!"
James ran out into the front hall, still holding the squirming Harry. What he saw surprised him. Remus was leaning heavily against the doorframe, dripping with blood. He had gashes and wounds everywhere. Lily was trying to help him into the house.
"Moony!" Harry squealed again, tears forming in his eyes because his father wouldn't let go.
Remus looked up at Harry with a small smile. "Hey cub."
"Remus, what happened?" James asked, taking in the sight of his friend as Lily got him into the living room and onto the couch.
"Death Eaters," he said as Lily ran off to get some potions from the kitchen.
"What did they do?" James asked, still keeping a tight hold on Harry.
'Dad, what are you doing?' Harry thought. 'Why won't you let me get to Remus?'
"They came to my house and…they gave me a choice. Either I join Voldemort or I die." Remus started coughing up blood.
Lily had come back and started working frantically on Remus, but it was no use. There were just too many wounds to address.
Lily looked up at James. "He's dying."
"Moony!" Harry squealed, crying now as though he had understood what his mother had said.
James walked closer to Remus and knelt down beside him. Harry was struggling even harder now to escape. "Remus, what happened?" James asked more forcefully.
"What are you waiting for, Dad?" Harry asked his father's image.
"I…I refused. I tried to…get away, but there were too many. Voldemort's trying to get all the werewolves on…his side. Those who refuse him…will die." Remus said as though he knew what James was asking him. "I could never betray you, James…or Lily…and I would never hurt Harry."
James nodded and finally released his grip on Harry, who immediately crawled on top of Remus. Remus just smiled down at him and ruffled his hair.
"Sorry cub," Remus whispered sadly.
Harry's crying had stopped now and he stared up at Remus with glowing green eyes.
"James?" Lily asked, staring at Harry in shook.
"Don't worry, Lil, I think I know what Harry's trying to do," James answered, watching his son closely.
"Moony!" Harry said again and then he started to glow. There was a blinding flash, and then everything went dark again.
Harry stared at the mirror in shock. Remus was healed. He looked perfectly fine now. His younger self had healed him.
Remus slowly sat up, looking down at Harry in surprise. Harry just continued to look up at him with large, innocent, green eyes as though nothing had happened at all.
"Moony," Harry said again.
Remus smiled down at him and lifted him up into his arms. "Thanks, pup." Harry smiled.
The mist began to swirl again, but a voice broke through Harry's thoughts. "Harry?"
Harry turned towards the voice and saw Sirius standing close by, a look of deep concern on his face.
Harry sighed and turned back to look at the mirror. He really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now, especially after finding out that Sirius and Remus had been keeping even more secrets from him.
Sirius walked towards Harry and sat down beside him. He was worried about Harry and he wasn't going to leave until his godson gave him some answers. This had been going on for too long now and he knew that Harry was only going to suffer some more if he didn't tell someone what he was going through.
"Harry, please answer me?" Sirius said more forcefully.
"Why?" Harry asked coldly, refusing to look at Sirius.
"Because I want to help. You can't keep pushing away like this and you can't keep everything bottled up inside you."
Harry shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."
"What? That people are treating you differently then they use too. That you're scared of your new powers and that no matter how hard you try, you can't escape the feelings and memories of last year," Sirius answered.
Harry didn't reply.
Sirius sighed. "Harry, I know that you're going through some rough times right now and-"
"And what?' Harry voice shot out as he turned to face Sirius. Anger was rushing through his veins right now. "You don't understand! How could you? All year you've been keeping secrets from me, hell even longer then that. I had to find out on my own that the Order is protecting me, I had to deal with what happened last year all by myself and now I find that both you and Remus have been keeping another secret from me. When were the two of you planning on telling me that Remus is also my Godfather? When were the two of you planning to explain to me why I had to go live with the Dursleys instead of going to live with Remus? Were you ever going to tell me or were you just going to keep hiding it?"
Sirius didn't show any sign that he was bothered by what Harry had just said. Instead he lowered his head for a moment and took a deep breath. "You have ever right to be angry about that, Harry, but don't take it out on either myself or Remus. We never told you because we knew you would react like this.
"Remus tried very hard after your parents deaths to get custody of you, knowing that Lily and James would have wanted you to live with either him or myself if something ever happened to them and on the few occasion where Lily had talked about her sister, she had mentioned that she'd never want you to have to live with them. Both her and James were very firm in the idea of you never ever even meeting them."
"So why then did I spend ten years of my life, living with them and why have I spent every summer since going back there?" Harry asked anger still in his voice.
"Because Remus couldn't get custody," Sirius replied. "Even though it was writing in your parents will what was supposed to happen to you, they still wouldn't give him custody."
"Because he's a werewolf," Harry concluded.
Sirius nodded. "They didn't want the Boy Who Lived living with a dangerous creature even though Remus had devised a way for you to live with him and not be exposed to the wolf."
"And what was that?" Harry asked curiously, his anger beginning to subside for the moment.
"Remus has an older brother whose an Unspeakable. His name is Janus. With his permission, Remus had decided that on the nights of the full moon, Janus and his wife would talk care of you and the bring you back the next day. The Ministry, however, did not believe it was safe for you to be with Remus anytime and ruled against him. Remus went back a number of times over the course to the next two three years after your parents' deaths trying to get custody, but every time they slammed the door in his face. Suffice to say, Remus felt he had failed you and after a while just gave up."
Harry looked down for a moment, digesting everything Sirius had just told him. Now he felt ashamed for blowing up in Sirius' face like that. "I didn't know that,' he said quietly.
"I know. Remus didn't want to tell you because he feels he fail as your Godfather, but he did try, Harry," Sirius answered.
Harry was silent for a moment before he spoke. "I guess I'll have to talk to him then."
Sirius smiled. "Well that'd be a good start," he said and Harry knew what he was referring too but didn't comment on it.
Sirius placed and hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "We do want to help you, Harry, but we can't do that if you don't let us in."
Harry looked back up at Sirius, his green eyes filled with tears that he wouldn't let fall. "I'm just so tired of it all."
Sirius wrapped an arm around Harry and held him close. "I know, Harry. I know."
They stayed like that for a long time. Harry cried softly into Sirius' cloak, but no more words were said. There was no need. Harry cried for everything that had happen in his life. His parents, Remus, Sirius, him having to stay with the Dursleys, Cedric… just everything that had ever gone wrong in his life.
Finally Sirius broke the silence. "Come on," he said. "We can't stay out here all night."
Harry shook his head, wiping the tears away. "I don't want to go back in there."
Sirius sighed. "Tell you what. Why don't you come and sleep in my chambers tonight. The place is big enough anyways."
Harry looked up at him. "But isn't that really against regulations.'
Sirius waved him off. "Screw the regulations. Since when have I ever followed them? Besides, you're my Godson; I'm allowed leeway with you."
Harry chuckled slightly before he sighed. "What about Remus? I really think I should talk to him before I head to bed."
"Well then how about you head back to the dormitory to get some clothes and things for bed and your books for tomorrow while I track old Moony down and explain to him what you found out. Just head to my rooms after you have everything and head on in. I haven't changed the password."
Harry nodded. He then turned back to the mirror and waved a hand in front of it. "Finita Incantartum." The mirror vanished.
Sirius smiled. He then wrapped an arm around Harry, grabbed Harry's Lightenbolt and invisibility cloak, and the two headed back towards the castle.
A cloaked figure hidden by the shadow of the dark forest laughed as he watched the two. His master great plans in store for Harry and he couldn't wait to see them put into action.
With one last glance, he turned and headed back into the forest, his silver hand outlined by the Moon.
Remus looked up when he heard on knock on his office door. After having that chat with Ron and Hermione and trying to hunt Harry down, he had retreated to his office, deciding to get ahead on making the sixth year essays that he would need to hand back soon.
"Come in," He answered and wasn't at all surprised when Sirius walked in, closing the door behind him.
Remus put his quill down and asked, "Did you find Harry?"
Sirius nodded as he came over and pulled up a chair to Remus' desk. "Yeah. He was out on the Quidditch Pitch using a Time Mirror."
Remus frowned. "Why?"
Sirius shrugged. "Curiosity I guess, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."
Remus frowned and leaned back in his chair. "What is it? Did something happen?"
Sirius sighed. "I guess you could say that."
Sirius was silent for a few moments, which only made Remus worry more. "Sirius-"
"Harry knows that Lily and James also named you his Godfather," Sirius blurted out, looking down at the ground, avoiding Remus' gaze.
Remus' eyes widened and his chest constricted. "What?"
Sirius looked up at Remus and said, "He was using the Time mirror to see back into the past when Lily and James were still alive. I only caught the tale end of one of the visions. It was the night the Death Eaters attacked you and you went to Godric's Hollow."
Remus stared down at his desk, but he wasn't really seeing it. He remembered that night clearly. Voldemort and a band of his Death Eaters had approached him, trying to convince him to join their side. They had even gone as far as to put the Imperious Curse on him to make him turn, but he had fought it, fought them and had managed to get to Godric's Hollow.
He remembered how untrusting James had been, how his friend had clutched Harry, not letting the small child near him in case he was the traitor. He had been able to convince Prongs that he wasn't the traitor and Harry had healed him. Unfortunately by that time, the Fidelius Charm had already been cast and neither James nor Lily had had time to tell Sirius that he hadn't been the traitor.
"Moony?" Sirius said, shaking Remus out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Sirius looking at him in concern. "You alright?"
Remus nodded. "How did Harry take it?" He asked, afraid to know the answer.
Sirius leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Not very well."
Remus closed his eyes tightly and looked away. "He blames me," Remus said solemnly.
Sirius's hands were suddenly gripping Remus by the shoulder, forcing the werewolf to look at him. "No, Remus. Don't you dare start thinking like that. Harry doesn't blame you. I explained to him why you couldn't take him and he understands."
"Does he?" Remus asked, suddenly feeling a lot older then he really was. "I wouldn't."
Sirius sighed and kneeled down beside Remus's chair. "Don't take it from me, Moony. Take it from him. He's waiting in my chambers for you. He wants to talk to you about this and I think you should. You need to talk about this with him even more then he needs to talk about it with you."
Remus looked down at his hands for a moment. He knew Sirius was right. He did need to talk to Harry; needed to get this out. He needed to explain to Harry everything that he had gone through as he had tried to gain custody.
"Moony?" Sirius said, bringing Remus back to the present.
Remus sighed and nodded. "Okay."
Sirius smiled slightly. "I've got to go have a chat with Dumbledore. Hopefully that'll give you and Harry enough time."
Remus just nodded again and pulled himself out of his chair. Just as he was about to leave the room, Sirius called out to him, "Moony?"
"Umm," Remus answered, turning back to Sirius with his hand on the door.
"Everything's going to work out. You'll see."
Remus smiled slightly. "I hope you're right, Padfoot," and he was gone.
Harry paced back and forth in front of the fireplace inside Sirius' chambers, feeling extremely nervous inside. After they had left the Quidditch Pitch, he and Sirius had gone their separate ways, Sirius to talk to Remus and he to get his things from Gryffindor Tower.
He had come to Sirius's rooms to see that an extra bed had already been set up by Sirius' and he had just dumped his stuff on it and sat down, waiting for Remus to show. But he had become too impatient and was now pacing.
He knew Sirius was going to explain everything to Remus before Remus came, which was both a blessing and a curse. He really hadn't wanted to explain everything to his newly found Godfather, but he wasn't sure what he was going to say to him now. He was hoping Remus would have questions to ask because he had no idea where to start.
Just then, Harry heard the portrait hole open and whirled around to watch Remus come slowly into the room. Remus just stared at him for a moment and Harry stared back. Neither knew what to say or where to start.
Remus sighed. "So you know." It was more of a statement rather then a question.
"Yeah," Harry answered quietly.
Remus pushed some of his hair out of his face and crossed the room to Sirius' couch were he sat down. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier."
Harry shook his head. "I understand why you didn't."
"That's not an excuse, Harry," Remus answered, looking up. "You had a right to know."
Harry joined Remus on the couch. He wasn't sure what to say, but he wanted to try and calm Remus' fears.
"I know now."
Remus chuckled slightly. "Yes, you do." His face then darkened. "I'm sorry I couldn't take you in when your parents died."
"You tried-"
"Yes Harry, I did. But not hard enough," Remus interrupted. He sighed, closing his eyes. "After your parents died and Sirius was thrown into Azkaban, I was a mess. It had been a full moon the night that it all happened so I didn't find out about it until two days later. By then, you were already at the Dursleys and Sirius was in Azkaban. I never had the chance to ask Sirius why or to say goodbye to you," he said, looking at Harry.
Harry kept silent, just taken in the words Remus was saying. He knew the older man needed to get this out.
"I went to stay with my brother, Janus and his wife since I couldn't really take care of myself after that. I stayed in bed until dinner and even then I hardly ate anything. Dumbledore and Janus were really worried that I wouldn't pull through, especially after the next full moon."
"What changed?" Harry asked, knowing that something must have.
"My priorities changed. I didn't have anything left to live for in the world, Harry. I didn't see the point anymore. I had lost the only people besides my brother and Dumbledore who ever accepted me for who and what I was. I don't even really know why I was sticking around, except to be at your parents' funeral and it was a good thing I did."
"Why? What happened?"
Remus gave a sad little smile and met Harry in the eye. "You did. Your aunt and uncle had come to the funeral with you and your cousin. The only reason I even knew who they were was because you called out my name."
"I did?" Harry asked, confused.
Remus nodded. "You learned how to call me Moony pretty quickly. I guess it was a lot easy then saying Padfoot, cause you'd always mess his name up, but never mine. Anyway, you called out and your aunt gave you hell, but I walked up to her and asked if I could hold you during the ceremony. She let me, of course, and it was during the funeral that I realize I had something left. I had you.
"So after that I started trying to get custody. Janus helped me try and he had a lot of leverage seeing as how he's an Unspeakable. We worked on the first petition for your custody for a solid four months before we finally submitted it. It took them three weeks to get back to me and I knew then that something wasn't right.
"They called me in for a hearing but they didn't want to listen to what I had to say. They just kept telling me the laws against werewolves adopting children and they didn't want to listen to what I had to say. They didn't want to listen to me when I told them how you were being treated, they didn't want to listen about my relationship with you and your parents and they certainly didn't want to listen to why I thought you'd be fine with me."
"So what then?" Harry asked.
"I went home and blew up in my brother's face. It was the day before the full moon and I guess the Ministry picked that date because they were hoping I'd react badly and I did, just not in front of them. I smashed some vases and damaged so furniture and almost threw Janus down a flight of stairs.
"Janus let me have it then. He couldn't believe that I was already willing to give up. He knew that I wasn't going to get you the first time round and he couldn't believe that I was willing to just give up with giving a fight.
"So he got me to try again, and again, and again and again until three years had passed and I still didn't have custody. I gave up then for good, knowing that they weren't going to let me have you. You were four by then so after my final attempt I went to see you. Just once more, but your uncle wouldn't let me in. Thinking back on it now, I realize that you must have been locked in that cupboard at the time, but I never realized it."
Harry frowned. "That's all?"
Remus sighed. "That's all. I went to live in the country afterwards and hunted for any small job that I could do, Muggle and magical alike. It didn't matter to me where the money came from, just as long as I had enough to live off of. I didn't have a decent job until Dumbledore offered me the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor and I think the real reason I took it was so that I could have a chance to see you again and protect you from Sirius."
"Why didn't you tell me you were my Godfather then?" Harry asked.
"Because I didn't want to have to tell you why you couldn't live with me," Remus answered solemnly. "But that doesn't really matter now. You know."
They sat silently for a moment before Harry asked, "So where do we go from here?"
Remus chuckled slightly. "I have absolutely no idea."
Harry just nodded and looked down at his feet. He hadn't like what he had heard from Remus, not one bit. He knew very well that the wolf and Remus were two totally different things and yet still a part of the man that sat before him now, but from what Remus had said, the Ministry officials hadn't thought like that. They had seen Remus only as a dark creature not as the kind and loving man that Harry knew Remus to be.
Remus sighed deeply and glanced over a Harry. "You should get some rest. You've had a long day."
Harry yawned just then, proving Remus' point and making the werewolf smile. "Okay," Harry answered, standing up and headed over towards the second bed.
Remus stood and moved towards the portrait hole to leave when Harry called him back, "Remus?"
Remus turned to find Harry standing just before him. "Yes, Harry?"
Harry just stared at Remus for a moment, not quite sure what to say or do, but then he moved forward and engulfed Remus in a hug. Remus was slightly startled at first, but then smiled and wrapped his arms around Harry.
"I am sorry that I couldn't take you in, Harry," Remus said softly. "I really wanted to."
"It's okay," Harry answered into Remus's robes. "I know it wasn't your fault. Thanks for everything though."
Remus smiled. "You're welcome."
They stayed silent for a few moments before breaking apart. Just before Remus was about to leave he turned back towards Harry. "Everything's going to work out, Harry."
Harry grinned and nodded. "I know."
Remus returned to smile. "Goodnight, Harry."
"Night Moony."
And for the first time in a long while, Harry felt as though everything was truly going to work out.