Sweet in Disguise
Written By OtakuChild
DISCLAIMER: I own Yu-GI-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi sold it to me last night on eBay! Did I also mention that I am a filthy liar? ^_^

Okay, chappie two underwent a refit as well. See chapter one for explanation.

Blegh. Stupid computer loves to throw tantrums. Though I noticed when I installed the antivirus software that the corrupted files are no longer corrupted. So does this mean no more fits? *knocks on wood*
Okies, chapter two is up! Um, I don't want to say much to give it away. ^_^ I'll just let you read it! ^_^

WARNINGS: Shonen Ai, Innuendo, OOC-ness, AU, sporadic Marik, hungover Kaiba.

Chapter Two: Exasperation

Malik flung open the door to the small house he shared with his Yami and sister, and slammed the door. The whole house shook with impact, and a few pots fell off their hooks in kitchen.
"I HATE BAKURA!" he screamed. Then he went into his room, ignoring the fallen cookware, to find his yami lounging on the bed.
"I sense hostility..." Marik said sarcastically.
"Oh gee, nice of you to notice!" Malik snapped. "And why are you in my room, anyway? You have your own room."
"Yes, but you see, if I were in my room, we wouldn't have the chance to have these lovely talks."
Malik let out an exasperated sigh.
"Bakura won't give it up," he spat.
"Of course not, he doesn't let things drop," Marik said coolly.
"SHUT UP! You were overprotective last night! What happened to you? And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, first off, I sobered up. Second, it means that Bakura won't give up until he's made things right. Listen, Malik. I care about you, I do, I'm your yami. My job is to protect you. If I actually thought that Bakura was some horrible sex offender or posed any threat, I'd have killed him by now!" He paused. "Awww, my widdle hikawi is all grown up! He gonna haf a boyfriend! I'm so proud!"
And Marik launched into a fit of fake crying.
"SHUT UP!" Malik whomped Marik with a pillow. "And get out of my room!"
Marik got up and lazily walked to the door. "Somebody's pissy. Is it that time of the month already?"
Malik's reply was to throw a tube of eyeliner(1) at his yami, which hit him squarely between the eyes.
"OW! Fuck! Fine, I'm going! I'm going!" Marik took off down the hall.
Malik closed his eyes in an effort to relax, and ended up falling asleep. He awoke half an hour later to Marik.
"HIKARI! PHONE!!!"
Malik sat up and rubbed his eyes.
"HIKARIIIIIII! PHOOOONE!!!"
"I'M COMING!" he yelled. He lazily made his way downstairs to be greeted by Marik, who was smiling sweetly.
"It's your boyfriend."
"Fuck off, he's not my boyfriend."
"He will be."
"No he won't."
"Yes he will."
"Just give me the damn phone!"
Marik handed Malik the phone, who thanked him with a middle finger.
"What do you want?" Malik snapped. "You know what, you're such an arrogant ass. First you hit on me, at a bar, when you're drunk, and then you hit on me the next day when you're sober, and then you wake me up from my nap, all to try and get me to sleep with you like I'm some easy slut!! What is wrong with you?"
"I am not an arrogant ass!" Bakura retorted on the other line. "Beautiful yes, but-"
Click.
Malik hung up the phone in disgust. "Sexist pig," he spat. He headed back up to finish his nap, but the phone rang again.
"Listen Bakura, I know it's you!" he said into the phone. "Let me say this slowly so you can understand. I DO NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU IN ANY WAY. This also includes kissing, groping, fondling, foreplay, and all other touching or interaction not stated herein. Furthermore, If you call me again, I will install caller blocking on my phone and call the police, and if you still don't get it, I'll enroll in the witness protection program and you will never be able to find me."
"MALIK! It's Ryou. I called to apologize on Bakura's behalf, because he's either too uneducated or horny to apologize, I'm not sure which."
"Oh...Ryou! What did I do to deserve this?" Malik sat down.
"I don't know...I've often wondered that myself." Ryou twirled a strand of hair in his fingers. "Anywho, here's the plan. I'm going to stay at Yugi's for awhile, so any calls from the house will most likely be Bakura. I'm just letting you know where I'll be."
Malik smiled. "Okay. But, do you think he's actually going to shut up?"
"I doubt it. I mean, he's Bakura. I'll talk to him, see if there's any reason to his madness."
"Is there ever?" Malik rubbed his eyes.
"Let's hope this is the one time there is."
They said their good-byes and hung up. Malik was intent on finishing his nap, but was interrupted yet again when the phone rang. He let it ring. The machine picked it up.
"Helloooooooooo, you've reached the Domino City Funny farm. To report a psychotic incident, press 1. To retrieve information on a patient, press 2. Those of you who realize I'm shitting you can leave a message after the beep."
Malik let out a groan. I TOLD Marik not to change the outgoing message! he thought. The machine beeped, and Bakura's voice rang through the kitchen.
"Heeeey pretty, I know you're there."
Malik scowled.
"Pick up the phone, pretty."
I will not pick up the phone!
"Fine, don't pick up the phone. But sooner or later, I'll find you. Talk to ya later."
Click.
"Great, just what I need," Malik muttered. "A stalker." He unhooked the phone line from the phone itself, and set about locking the doors and windows to keep the former Tomb Robber out, then went back upstairs to salvage what was left of his nap. He awoke later in the evening to loud beeping. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, remembering it was his cell phone. He grabbed it lazily.
"What?" he snapped.
"Hey, it's me," said Bakura.
Malik let out a groan, not noticing the change in Bakura's demeanor. He'd had it. He took a deep breath.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" he shrieked. "Why do you annoy and irritate me like this? My god, you hit on me when you're WASTED, and then you follow me and throw pick-up lines at me, while you're sober! And then you call me incessantly, trying again to lure me in! What is it about me that makes you do this? What do you want from me? You're driving me insane! I feel stalked! You're scaring me to death! I...WHY, Bakura?"
Silence.
"Bakura?"
A sigh.
"Bakura, I can't take this anymore. Just let me be, I'm hanging up the phone now."
"WAIT!"
It was Malik's turn to sigh. "What?"
"Okay, yeah, it...it was stupid of me, getting drunk and hitting on you like that. I didn't mean to...I'm sorry, and I can see why you'd hate me for it. But...just let me talk to you, hear me out, please. I'm coming over."
"Coming over? Bakura-"
Dial tone.
Malik buried his face in his hands. "Why...?"
"I told you, he wants to make things right."
Marik leaned casually in the doorway. "Malik...Bakura and me had a nice little chat this afternoon, while you were napping. I'm not going to tell you all that was said, but I will say this: he feels remorse, and he's certainly not stalking you. Just hear him out, that's all we ask."
"We? Great, you're both plotting against me now?"
"No! We're not, Malik." Marik sat down next to Malik on the bed. "I called Bakura, because after the messages left on the machine, even I was starting to worry. The messages, that confrontation the two of you had, it didn't look right. But it's coincidence, that's all it is. Let him come over. Listen to what he has to say. Don't start shouting at him, or throwing things at him, like I know you want to do. But all he wants to do is make amends with you, Malik. He hates to leave things hanging."
"But then why did he throw pick-up lines at me?"
"He wouldn't say. I have a feeling he'll explain everything when he comes over. I know you're frustrating, and I pick on you...but when it comes down to it, I'll protect you, Malik. But the longer you put this off and don't confront it, the worse it will get. Don't make it harder than it has to be. Promise me that you'll at least listen to him."
Malik looked at his feet.
"Hikari..."
"Fine."
Marik clapped a hand on his hikari's shoulder. "I'm going to the store, it's late, nobody will be there...I can shop in peace..."
Malik arched an eyebrow. He'd learned from experience to treat his yami's odd habits with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. "Um...okay. Have fun."
"I most certainly will." Marik gave a wink, headed off down the hall, grabbed his wallet, and headed out the door.
//If he tries anything, you let me know, little hikari.//
/I will./
Malik let out a sigh and flopped back on the bed.

Bakura rooted around in the refrigerator, intent on finding something specific, the package he had purchased earlier that day. Once he'd found what he was looking for he carefully picked up the fragile package and unwrapped it gently. He took a deep breath.
"Please hear me out, Malik." He cradled the delicate object and headed out the door to Malik's house, incredibly nervous, and worrying and wondering what to do if the current plan he had fashioned didn't work.

Malik meandered into the kitchen, intent on finding something to eat. He fished through the freezer until he found his ice cream. "Mmm...caramel..." he cooed to himself. He let nothing get in the way of his caramel. He was getting a spoon out of the silverware drawer when a dreaded voice echoed through the room:
"You need to upgrade your security system. I got in without a sound."
Malik whirled around to find Bakura standing sitting on the kitchen table, one hand behind his back.
"YOU!" he screeched. He grabbed a fork and pointed it at him. "Why can't you just knock on the door like normal people do?"
"Eh...I...I was afraid you wouldn't let me in," Bakura said sheepishly.
Malik felt fear well up in him, and paranoia raced through his mind. He was in the house...alone, with Bakura. He remembered what Marik had said. Hear him out, hear him out, he thought.
"There's no need to be scared, I'm not going to hurt you," Bakura said.
"Why did you come over? Why not just call me again?" Malik asked.
Bakura walked over and took the item he was hiding behind his back and gently placed it on Malik's head. Malik gasped.
A crown of dark red roses and baby's breath now sat atop Malik's head. Malik found his voice had gone elsewhere.
"I want you to hear me out..." Bakura said softly. He looked into Malik's eyes, and Malik couldn't help but stare back into Bakura's eyes, deep brown, like Tiger's Eye. He thought they were kind of pretty, then mentally kicked himself for thinking such a thing, especially about the guy who hit on him.
"I...I'm not stalking you, honest I'm not. I had no idea that I was going to run into you this morning. I thought you'd be at home."
Malik just stared, processing what Bakura was saying. Bakura continued.
"Last night I was a jerk. I shouldn't have gotten drunk and hit on you like that. It was a stupid thing to do, and believe me, I had one hell of a hangover. I still have it. And the pick-up lines were equally as stupid, if not more so, because I was sober when I said them, and I'm sorry I did. I didn't mean to. I had wanted to say something completely different. I wanted to apologize, but out the words came, and I couldn't stop them, and I know that's no excuse for what I did, but it's the only explanation I have.
"I didn't mean to scare you, I feel awful that I did. All I wanted to do, all I've wanted to do since this morning is make things right. I want you to know that I'm just so sorry for everything, and I won't stop until things are okay between us. I don't want things to be bad. I can't stand it. No more of this hiding. If...if you have any questions, ask them. I will be honest, I won't lie."
Malik let out a sigh. "Why do you keep calling me pretty?"
Bakura smiled. "Because it's the truth. I didn't call you that to tick you off, I called you that because you are pretty. You're beautiful. Your smile, your eyes...there's an air of whimsy about you. It's everything. You can be so quiet at times, and yet so loud and obnoxious, and wild...and the truth is...the truth is that I can't stop thinking about you, there's just something about you, and I didn't want to call you again, but I figured that this was the only way, to get you to just listen to me, after all that I've done. "
Malik's head was spinning. He'd done what he'd promised Marik, he'd heard Bakura out. But now that he had heard him out, what next?
"I barely even know you..." he found himself saying. "How can you say this, when you don't even know me?"
"I don't know you. That's true. It just makes me all the more interested in you, I guess, and to see just what it is that makes my stomach do flippity-flops." Bakura felt dizzy. Here he was, baring his sould to a boy he didn't really know, a boy who really wasn't that fond of him.
Bakura took a step forward. "Come here, Malik."
Malik complied, not really knowing why. Bakura took Malik's hand. "You intrigue me, Malik Ishtar," he said. "I don't know what it was that made me feel this, but it's there. I didn't talk to you much before, even when Marik was around(3), because I never knew what to say. I was inexplicably afraid I would say something dumb, and I wondered why I even cared. Then I got wasted at the bar, and things just happened. But...I can't stand it anymore. I want to know what it is about you that I find so fascinating. I promise I won't try anything. One date, that's all I ask. I promise I won't try anything or get drunk."
Malik felt the resolve he had against Bakura crumble away, suddenly feeling safe and secure in Bakura's presence. He felt protected, and that he had nothing to lose.
"A date I believe I can accomodate."
Bakura's face broke into a grin. "I...uh...wow. Thank you. You won't regret this, I promise."
Bakura slowly pulled Malik into a hug, and felt a wave of relief when Malik hugged back. Malik felt warm and cozy in Bakura's arms. They stayed that way for what seemed like ages, until Bakura finally broke the embrace. He smiled down at Malik, who returned it with a small grin. They slowly made their way to the front door.
"So, um...I'll pick you up then, at around 8 o'clock?" Bakura asked.
"That sounds fine." Malik stared at his feet, suddenly feeling nervous, and wondering where it came from.
"Good. I'll see you then."
A pause.
"Good night Bakura," Malik said softly.
"Good night, Pretty." Bakura smiled and gently traced a hand along Malik's cheekbone, and Malik returned the smile. Then Bakura turned and started home.
Malik watched him until he turned the corner and was out of sight.
___________________

Wheeeee! It is done!!!
As for 'Faery Ring,' I have this dreadful case of writers block. -_-'
On Sunday I leave for camp for two weeks, I will be checking in at the end of the first week, and at the second, and then it's off to Delaware for another week! I will be checking in, BUT NO UPDATES WILL BE MADE AS I WILL NOT HAVE TIME.
Footnotes:
(1)In this fic, those lines that jet out under Malik's eyes are not tattoos, they are drawn with liquid liner. ^^
(2) Ages in this fic: Malik-18, Ryou-17, Marik-21, Bakura-20.
(3) Okay, background! Marik and Bakura hang out, drink, cause trouble, yadda yadda. So Malik and Bakura see each other, but have never really talked to each other.

That's all for now. Let me know what you think! Ja ne!
-OtakuChild