AN: Well, here it is, chapter 4. This one took me a bit longer than usual. Special thanks to goldenone for BETAing.

And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter

I duck as a glass zooms over my head and shatters against the wall. And I really liked that one, too.

"Stop acting like you know everything, 'cause I've got BIG news for you, Cohen: you DON'T!" Gee, he's testy. He mustn't have had a hit yet today. Usually when I tell him to stop doing this to himself he just ignores me or, at the most, tells me to fuck off.

"Well, there are some things I do know, and one of them is this: if you don't stop, you're going to die!" As I say this, he stalks towards me, furious. I'm clutching my camera like a security blanket. Less than a minute ago I was filming him playing this waltz he had just learned. Things seemed to be going so well.

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm not a fucking idiot!" As if to emphasis the last two words, he shoves me backwards, almost making me fall to the floor. I lose my grip and hear a devastating crash as a pile of metal and glass explodes at my feet. I raise my eyes from the floor to discover my own shock is mirrored in Roger's face. He knows me well enough to realize what he's just done, and it snaps him out of his anger.

"Oh, god...Mark, I..." I don't wait for him to continue. I retreat to the closest place I can find: the bathroom. I've already slammed the door when I see the pink water filling the tub and the large red pool next to it on the floor. It's not until I see her face that my brain truly registers what I'm seeing.

April...oh god, sweetheart...

I hear Roger approaching the door, so I fly over and latch it. He can't see this. "Mark? Mark, I'm so sorry. I...I didn't mean it." I'm barely listening. How could she do this?

I quickly set to work. Reaching into the tub, I pull the plug and start letting the water drain. Then as my vision blurs with tears I grab towels and proceed to wipe up the floor while trying to talk to Roger through the door. "Don't worry, I'll-I'll clean it up, just...just give me a minute, okay?" I have to make it go away. I'm gripping the rags so tightly my knuckles have already turned white. Tears mix with the blood on the floor.

"No, Mark. I'll...I'll get you a new one, I promise. Just please, open the door." Suddenly I stop scrubbing and my sense kicks in. Even if I clean it all up, even if I make the room spotless...it won't make it go away. It won't bring April back. My friend, Roger's girlfriend, is dead.

I hang my head and try my best to make my voice sound steady and calm and as far from my own state as possible. "Roger, call 911." I fail.

"What's going on?" I can hear the fear in his voice. He starts trying to get the door open.

"Don't come in here! Just-just call the police!" At this I look up and for the first time I see the note taped to the mirror above the sink. 'We got AIDS'.

My eyes widen so far it hurts and my jaw drops open. It's not until my throat is dry and burning that I realize I've been screaming.

"Mark! Mark, open the door!" I hear loud banging noises. It's only a few kicks before the frame breaks and the door swings open. I slowly turn my head to see Roger's horrified face. His knees buckle, bringing him to the ground with me. He begins to frantically crawl towards her.

"April! Oh, my god!" His voice comes out as a wail. Before I know it, my arms are around him, holding him back. His arm moves past my head as he reaches for her desperately.

"Roger, don't." I try to calm him, and myself as well.

"No! She needs a doctor! She needs help! She-"

"Roger, she's DEAD!" With that, he freezes. Slowly, he pulls his arm back and puts it around me, pulling me closer and clenching the back of my shirt. As if on cue, we both begin to sob.

For some reason, despite the drugs and my previous words and the obvious ridiculousness of it all, I always saw Roger as immortal. Now, for the first time, I realize that Roger is going to die.

And now, another realization hits me. One that sends so much fear into my heart I begin to tremble.

I'm in love with him...