Hi all lovely people.

I know you're dying to know who's waiting for Suze in her hospital room, and you'll find out in the third line of this chapter.

Thanks to Steph, for her help with 'wills'. Hehe.

Lots of reviews, please? This was a hard chapter to write.

Loves, Aina.

P.S. This is dedicated to all footie fans who hate Chelsea FC. If you don't, boo to you!

Suze

'Hi Su-zie.'

Terry purred from where she was sitting on one of the two chairs beside my bed.

I was immobile with shock and the nurse had to practically drag me back to the bed, before I regained my senses. As the nurse arranged the pillows behind me, tucked in my blanket and set my cast carefully, Terry and I stared at each other silently. My stare was understandably hostile, while hers looked unexplainably…smug.

Well, of course she would be smug. She has full use of her legs, no cuts or bruises and a face with perfectly applied makeup. Plus, her clothes are still intact. Unlike mine. No wonder she's so smug.

But I was so wrong, as I later found out.

When the nurse had left after reminding Terry that the visiting hours will be over in 15 minutes, I spoke even before the door was completely shut.

'What the hell are you doing here?'

She pursed her pretty red lips, and shook her head. 'Language, Suze. Aren't you glad that I've come to visit you since -' she glanced around the room '– no one else have?'

I narrowed my eyes, that familiar itch in my hand returning. You know, the one that always makes me feel like slapping her.

'Yeah, thanks for your concern. Now tell me the real reason why you're here. How did you even know I'm here anyway?'

She shrugged her bony shoulders. 'I was lucky. I was visiting a friend in another ward when I saw your name on the board at the counter. Of course I had to stop by…'

'Of course you do,' I said sarcastically. 'Now that you've stopped by, would you kindly leave me alone?'

'Well, if you're going to be like that…' Terry trailed off with a forlorn expression that I knew was put on, before changing her demeanor in the blink of an eye.

'Then l won't waste my time.'

She whipped out a large brown envelope that had been leaning against her chair on the floor, her face looking like the She-Bitch that I've come to recognize.

Before I could ask her what was going on, she flipped open the end of the envelope, and poured the contents all over my lap. It looked like a bunch of A4 papers.

'You asked me to prove that I was right. So I did,' Terry informed me self-righteously.

I didn't understand what she was going on about, until I picked up the first paper from my lap. It wasn't paper at all, because when I turned it around, I saw that it was a blown-up photograph.

I sucked in a painful breath, and felt all blood drained from my face. Because the photograph wasn't just a photograph. It was a photo of me.

With Jesse. Kissing.

Disbelieving of what I was seeing, I picked up another photo and turned it around, and it was a picture of Jesse and I standing close together, talking. Another photo showed similar poses, with both of us talking, a few shots of us kissing and the final one was of me walking away with Jesse watching from behind.

I recognized this. All of these were taken when we were at Hotel Twenty, when I was saying goodbye to Jesse. Which was impossible, since we were inside the building when it happened.

That made me realize that this wasn't Terry's work, couldn't be Terry's work because there was no way she was capable of taking a picture with a long lens or whatever, and produce quality photos like these.

I looked up at her arrogant face, unable to form a coherent sentence. She saw that, and took advantage of it. 'It's good, no? Expensive, that Salvador, but I think it's worth it. Just looking at your face now is enough for me to justify the price I paid.'

That – that – you…bitch.

'You bitch,' I said slowly, my shock replaced with anger. 'How could you hire someone to- to go around taking my pictures – I mean, it's so clearly an invasion of privacy and –'

'Not just your picture. You and Jesse. And you dare to tell me that you have nothing going on with him?' she said spitefully, her eyes so narrow they were like slits on a snake.

Fitting, since that was exactly what she was. A conniving snake.

I fumed. 'What business is it of yours if there's something going on with us? Why are you so intent on putting your nose to where you clearly don't belong?'

I wasn't making much sense anymore, I was so angry. She had the nerve to act like she was the one who was wronged, like I was the one interfering with her relationship. GOD.

'It's my business,' Terry hissed, 'because you are messing with my plans! I told you he was mine, and that's the way it will be!'

'Oh yeah? Well, clearly, he has made his choice. And it's not you. So can't you go find some other eligible guy to have and leave mine alone?' I nearly shouted the last word at her face.

I wouldn't be surprised if smoke were coming out of my ears, because I felt like my head was on fire.

She just sat and stared at me, her mouth pulled so thinly that her lips were almost invisible. Then she cocked her head and said carefully, 'Not if he's not your choice.'

See? She's obviously mental, speaking nonsense like someone who had just been in a car accident, even though I was the one allowed that excuse.

'What?' I snapped.

'You said that he chose you. But if you don't want to be with him…then there's nothing he can do about it, am I right?' Terry raised one of her perfectly plucked eyebrow.

'You're insane if you think I don't want to be with him. Well, you're already insane, but you're way over you head if –'

She cut me off, shaking her head, not even looking mad that I said she was insane. 'Suze, Suze. Do you really think this, all of this, I did for you? All these pictures, I took just to show you? I am not stupid, Suze. What makes you think I wouldn't give all of these to his parents?'

I felt my face paled for the second time tonight, and slowly moved my head from side to side in incredulity. No way –

'You wouldn't,' I whispered, my voice suddenly lost its ability to function.

She smiled like a Cheshire cat, knowing that she had won.

'Oh yes, I would,' she said, pausing between the words to emphasize each one. 'I told you I would win. You could have made it easier if you'd stayed away from him before. But no, you have to come back and cause trouble for everyone. Now it would be so much harder for me to comfort Jesse after you've ended this fantasy relationship.'

I swallowed, feeling weak and helpless all of a sudden. My chest felt tight, and I was having trouble breathing. This wasn't fair.

My mom said it wasn't my choice.

'If you have trouble deciding, here's something to help you make up your mind.' Terryble looked into her GUCCI clutch and pulled out a long, thin white envelope. 'Don't worry about that, it's just a copy.'

I didn't take the envelope from her hand, so she placed it on the bed, on top of the incriminating photographs.

'You can keep the pictures too, I can get more copies from Salvador. Don't worry, I'll be understanding. I'll give you a chance to end your relationship with Jesse by tomorrow. If you do, then I won't have to resort to using the photos after all, am I right?'

She has got to be kidding. No way were we having this conversation.

'What makes you think,' I spoke up, finding my voice again, 'that he will go to you even if I break up with him? He could easily find another girl to – to replace me.'

'He could,' Terry smiled, looking unconcerned. 'But he wouldn't disobey his parents. And his parents already approved of me as their daughter-in-law.'

The worst part is, I knew she was right. She already has the de Silvas eating out of her hands and the only thing standing in the way of her and Jesse was me. And she was giving me the option to remove myself out of the way.

This was unbelievable.

'I think visiting hours is over,' Terry said, getting up and slinging her bag across her shoulder. 'I'll leave you to your…thinking.'

I sat unmoving on my bed while she walked around it on her way to the door. Then, just as she reached out to open it, I asked the one question that had been nagging me ever since I knew she existed.

'Do you love Jesse?'

She paused, then twirled around prettily, like she was on a catwalk instead of a hospital room.

Holding up her hand, she counted on her fingers with the other as she said in an annoying singsong voice, 'He's rich, he's handsome, he's Spanish, he's nice…what's not to love?'

Then she gave me a smirk, before turning around and walking out, leaving me in the ringing silence.

I couldn't believe it.

Everything that she had done…and she didn't even love him. At least, not the way I did. All she loved was his money and his looks.

Feeling my eyes starting to blur from the tears, I quickly wiped at them and gathered the photos to put them back in the envelope before a nurse or someone else found them. That's when I noticed the thin envelope that she had left behind.

I felt an overwhelming sense of dread as I picked it up, but I had to know what was in it. Taking a deep breath, I flipped back the cover and pulled out a bundle of papers that had been folded inside. Telling myself to calm down, I slowly opened up the papers.

At first glance, it looked like a contract of some kind, with words that filled each page from top to bottom. The top of the first page said 'Cravens, Walker and Associates' in big bold letters, followed by the title of the document.

The Final Will and Testament of Augusto de Silva.

My heart pounded in my ears as I skimmed through the papers, registering what they held in content until I couldn't read anymore because the papers had started to shake, and I realized that it was because my fingers were trembling, and I put the papers down. Then, still trembling a little, I gathered up the papers again along with the two envelopes and placed them inside the drawer of the bedside table.

All I could think was, how on earth did she manage to get this?

But it didn't matter how. Because it had done the damage she intended it to do, and that was all that mattered.

The document was, as it had clearly stated, the final will of Augusto de Silva. Also known as Jesse's father.

It was clear why Terry had given me this. The will was done recently, as recent as a month ago, according to the date on the papers, and it listed all of Mr. Augusto's possessions in comprehensive detail, along with who will get all of it once he had passed away.

Guess what? Jesse, being the eldest and the only son, got about, oh I don't know, 60 of the whole de Silva wealth?

Figures, since what would his sisters do with their whole ranch back in Spain? Jesse was the only one who knew anything about the family business, even though he didn't follow in his father's footsteps. He would know what to do with the ranch if it's handed to him.

But that wasn't the point. Terry didn't give me this will to show how much Jesse will earn – although God knows she's probably already plotting to get rid of Jesse's father – but to show me how much he will lose.

Because that's what's going to happen once Mr. de Silva found out about Jesse and me. He will cut him off Jesse from his own family, leaving him with nothing. I knew that this was not an exaggeration.

Oh God, help me. I can't break up with him.

But as the minutes passed by, I knew I had to do it. Not because of all the money that Jesse will lose, but his family. His sisters, whom he loved so much. Even his parents, because as much as he couldn't stand them, they're still his parents. And they loved him equally in return, despite the appearance that they didn't by forbidding our relationship. No, it was because of their love, that they wanted him to be with someone they thought was worthy.

And I clearly was not, according to them.

Could I force him to give up all of that just to be with me?

Was it really his choice to be made, or was it mine?

The answer was staring at me in the face, so obvious that it was agonizing to acknowledge it. The answer was in the reason why he was still not here with me, even though I was admitted more than three hours ago.

But even as the door suddenly opened, and Jesse walked in as if he just materialized from my thoughts, I knew it was too late to change my mind.

'Querida,' he said with such concern and anguish that I had to swallow to hold back a sob that was threatening to bubble out.

'I'm so, so sorry, I drove here as fast as I could - I received Dylan's message – dios, look at you – how did this happen?' Jesse was stumbling over his words, so unlike him that I would have laughed, if he was here before a certain female model did.

He hugged me tentatively, as if afraid that he might hurt me, and I could feel his heart racing like mad. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the feeling of how wonderful it was for him to be worrying about me, to be scared about me, just the way I imagined he would be.

'I'm fine, Jesse,' I said, as normally as I could. He released me when I didn't respond to his hug, my body tense.

'Are you sure? Dios, when I heard, I was imagining all the terrible things and – I can't believe how anyone could drive so carelessly that they ended up hurting other people,' he continued, looking furious.

I realized with a pang that I couldn't tell him about my YLN theory now, because there was no way he would leave my side if he knew my life was threatened.

Well, I didn't need him to protect me. Even if it would be nice if he could.

'Was Dylan treating you well?' Jesse kept on going. 'I wish I was here, but Beatrice had a –'

'I know, Jesse, Dylan told me. You don't have to explain anything,' I said quickly, keeping my eyes on my blanket. I couldn't face him. Not when I was about to do something that would break his heart.

And mine.

He must have sensed that something was wrong, because he paused before lifting my chin carefully so that my gaze was on him. 'Susannah, I understand that you're angry at me, and I'm sorry. But I swear, that if I had known –'

I couldn't hear any of this anymore. Because each word was slowly killing me.

'Jesse, I have to tell you something,' I blurted out, before I could stop myself and chickened out.

He looked searchingly at me, and I dropped my gaze again.

'Anything,' he replied, tenderly.

I swallowed, asking God to forgive me for doing this even though I never used to pray to God before, and said the words that I wish I never had to say.

'I've met someone else.'

There was a complete silence, and I kept my eyes on my blanket until I couldn't stand the silence anymore, and glanced up.

Jesse looked confused; like he was sure he had heard wrongly and was trying to make sense of what I was saying.

Feeling like a total jerk, I continued, 'I wanted to tell you. But…I didn't know how. And after what happened today, I knew I couldn't just go on not telling you, especially in the face of death –'

'Wait,' Jesse said, his face looking more angry than confused now. I felt a little scared, and quickly looked down again. 'What exactly are you trying to say, Susannah?'

Swallowing hard, I said faintly, 'I told you. I've met someone else.'

'When, just now?' He sounded as if he was going to laugh, but obviously he didn't.

'No, just… a few months ago,' I lied.

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair, a sign that he was frustrated. He looked away, then turned back at me. 'Is this a way to get back at me? For not getting here sooner? Because if it is –'

'No, it's not,' I denied, my voice rising a little. 'I'm telling you the truth.'

'I don't believe you,' Jesse said, as simple as that. He stared at me, as if by doing that he could figure out why I was acting so strangely.

'Fine. Don't. But – I'm telling you the truth,' I finished lamely.

This wasn't going the way I planned. Not that I had much time to plan anyway. God, I don't think I've hated anyone as much as I hated that Theresa right now.

But then I hated a little bit of myself too.

'What's his name?' Jesse said suddenly.

'Oliver,' I said, saying the first name that popped into my head. Oliver?

'How did you meet him?'

'He – he's my colleague at work. I've known him since I started working there…but it didn't become anything serious until a couple of months ago. That was why I needed to get away for a while, to think clearly and make a decision,' I went on. I wasn't completely lying about Oliver, although obviously it never turned into anything serious between us.

Felt like it had been years ago since poor Oliver had gathered his courage to ask me out and I had to turn him down.

Jesse looked angry, but his eyes were filled with hurt. 'Susannah, I don't understand. If you're really telling the truth…'

'I wouldn't lie about something like this,' I said, my words sounding false in my ears.

'But I thought -,' Jesse halted, sounding unsure of himself. 'I know that we haven't had the best relationship, but I thought we're going to work this through together. I've been meaning to talk to you about it yesterday but you had to leave.'

I wish there was a hole that would open up and swallow me. I wish the fire alarm would start ringing so that I could ran out of here, leg in a cast or not.

Anything at all to get me out of here.

'What's there to talk about, Jesse?' I said, reluctantly. 'We both know that this relationship isn't going anywhere.'

There. I've said it. I couldn't believe I said it, but I did.

Jesse just looked at me, like he was looking at a stranger. 'Susannah…you don't mean that. My parents, they need time before they can accept –'

'Well, I don't have time!' I suddenly retort, out of nowhere. 'I'm sick of waiting and sneaking around and pretending that everything was okay, when it's obviously not. If you were serious about us, you would have talked to your parents ages ago. You don't wait for them to change their minds when they have no reason to!'

I stopped, breathing hard from raising my voice. My face was hot, and I knew that I had crossed a line, somewhere. But it was too late. Everything that I had been keeping inside, had been spilled open for him to see.

The look on his face…

I looked away, feeling my nose prickling from the threat oncoming tears. I didn't want to hurt him. But I had no choice. If I didn't hurt him this way, he would have been hurt another way.

I never understood what the saying 'cruel to be kind' meant, until now.

'Querida…' his voice was filled with what I assumed was regret. Or sorrow. I don't know. I certainly wasn't looking at him.

'If that's how you feel, then I'm truly sorry. It was never my intention to make it appear as if I wasn't serious about us. I am serious about us. And I will go over to my parents' house, tonight, and tell them about us if that will make you feel better.'

My eyes widened, and I nearly yelled out 'No!' If he does that, then everything will be ruined. His father will have no problem creating a new will by tomorrow, and Jesse can say goodbye to his family.

Forever.

'No,' I said, a little forcefully, 'you don't have to do that. Look, it's – it's too late. I've made up my mind. You don't have to do anything.'

Jesse sighed, then sat down at the edge of my bed, taking one of my bandaged hands in his. His liquid eyes were so dark and grim that even though I wanted to look away, I couldn't. I was trapped.

'I don't want to lose you,' he said, his voice cracking at the 'you'.

I could feel his suppressed emotion even by just looking into his eyes, and I so badly wanted to say, 'Just kidding, Jesse! There's no Oliver in my life.'

But I couldn't. I loved him too much for that.

'Jesse, I'm sorry,' I whispered, really meaning what I said. 'I really am. But this was my choice. And I had to do what was right.'

That was probably the only truth I have told him all night.

'Even if it feels wrong?' he said, as if he was reading my mind.

'I – It doesn't. Feel wrong,' I started the lying cycle again, feeling completely miserable.

'It does to me,' Jesse sighed. His hand was warm on mine, and it took all my will not to hold onto it and never let go.

I didn't know how to respond to that statement.

"Susannah…last Thursday, I thought that we still had… something, despite everything that we had to go through. When you came over to my house, everything that happened after was perfect, but now I realized that maybe…maybe I was the only one who felt that way. If this is what you choose, then I just want to make sure that you're making the right decision…' Jesse's voice was gentle, and I knew that even then, he was still looking after me.

Even when he was hurting, he still wanted to make sure that I all right. How wonderful was this man? I pushed that thought away and took a deep breath.

'Jesse…' I broke off, making sure that I was saying this properly, because he deserved it. 'Everything that happened between us was perfect. It was the other things that weren't. Just because we can't be together, it doesn't mean that what we had wasn't real. It was very real to me. But for all the realness…it was a dream, Jesse. And this accident allowed me to wake up and face the truth, however painful it is.'

Jesse didn't reply. His expression was neutral, but his eyes were heavy.

I remembered when I first met him in Madrid, I thought that he acted so much older than a 11-year-old kid was supposed to. He seemed to be constantly immersed in thoughts that I couldn't even begin to comprehend, and I wondered if I would ever find out about them. Even when we met again, I could never fully grasp whatever it was that he was thinking sometimes.

Now I will never have the chance to.

Then I felt his hand slipping away from mine and I looked up. He stood slowly, as if he was still contemplating on what to do.

Half of me wanted him to believe me and just leave, but the other half was screaming at him to look beyond my lies, to ask me questions that I couldn't answer, to find out why I was acting the way I was so that he would understand everything.

But when Jesse focused his dark eyes on me again, it was hard. And I knew that his mind was set.

'Then I will not stand in your way, que- Susannah,' he said.

I felt as if my heart was splintering when I realized that he had refrained from calling me querida. He would never call me querida again. I will never be called querida again, and even if I was, it would not be the same.

It's just a nickname, Suze.

But it was a part of him, just like the way he always calls me Susannah instead of Suze. And that part will be gone from my life, because of my own choice.

'I have to get to work,' Jesse said again, and he picked up his coat from the end of my bed, avoiding my eyes.

I nodded, knowing that if I tried to speak it would come out as a pathetic squeak, and I couldn't let him see me like that.

If I myself wasn't convinced that I was doing the right thing, how could I expect him to do the same? I had to be strong. I had to.

Jesse stood there uncertainly, his coat in his hands, and for the first time ever in all of this time that I've known him, it was awkward between us. Suddenly it was as if we were both strangers, like he was looking for someone else and instead stumbled into the wrong hospital room and found me instead.

'Well…if you need anything…'

I looked at him sadly, expecting him to offer his help, as he had always done, and braced myself for what I had to do, which was to say no to his offer.

'…you can tell Dylan.' Then he turned to walk away, even before I had registered what he just said.

Well…that was…unexpected. I guessed after all of this, he didn't want to be near me again. It was not something I would blame him for, even though it hurt like hell. The realization that he probably thought I was cheap, for being with him and yet thinking about another man. His perception of me must have changed drastically from the beginning to the end of this conversation. It was excruciating, this grief. It was nothing like I had ever faced before, even when I found out that Paul had lied to me about being a mediator. But this…this pain was raw and so blatant in its sense that if I wasn't strong enough, I would have keeled over and passed out from the pain, even more than I would have done after waking up fractured and stitched up after the accident.

But who was I to say that his hurt was any less than mine?

Just before he stepped out of the room, Jesse paused, his hand on the doorknob.

My heart started beating a little faster, and foolishly, I wondered if he was going to give me a goodbye kiss. And then I banished that thought, because I didn't know how he could still think favorably of me, after I had just let go of everything that we had to supposedly be with another man.

But he just stated quietly, 'Tell Oliver… he's a very lucky man.'

And then Jesse walked out of the room, and out of my life.

I sat there unmoving, my eyes still on the door.

Okay, Suze. You did it. You made him believe your lies, and now you two aren't together anymore. Aren't you just so happy?

Numb with the realization of what had just taken place and of what I had just done, I slid down the bed to lay my head on the pillow. The ceiling was starkly white and blank, and it was like I was looking at my own heart.

I was waiting for the tears to come, but they didn't come. I laid there, motionless, my mind empty, my eyes unblinking.

When I was 14, there was a girl in my class named Nicky, and she always cried whenever she had a fight with her boyfriend, which I thought was an extremely stupid thing to do. Crying wasn't going to solve whatever problem she had with him. And I swore to myself that I would never cry for a man, no matter what the reason was.

So I guessed I was holding on to that promise. Besides, why would I cry when I had just done the right thing?

Yeah. I won't be like Nicky. I won't cry for Jesse.

But I will cry for me.