If anyone is wondering, this story is not ending just yet. There are a few more chapters to go, but we're getting there. Slow and steady, people.

Not much happens in this chapter, it just allows us to catch up with Suze after the spending the last two chapters with Jessekins. Also, I've never written a wedding scene before, so I hope this one is not too boring or too sappy.

The next chapter should be quite interesting.

Thanks for reading!

Loves, Aina.

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Suze

As expected, the wedding was perfect.

It was held at Cee Cee's parents' house in San Diego, on the huge backyard of their three-story bungalow. I kinda expected that Cee Cee wouldn't have gone for a traditional church wedding, and I was right. She wanted a summer wedding in the garden, and that was what she got.

I had stayed overnight at her parents' place after we had her bachelorette party at a nearby restaurant. Sadly, there were no strippers because Cee Cee wasn't into "exploitation of the human flesh" or whatever reasons that she gave. But even without naked men, we had a blast, along with four of her workmates slash friends who would be the bridesmaids during the wedding.

That morning, I dressed up in my coral maid-of-honors dress and watched as Cee Cee got ready for her big day. She had hired a makeup artist who was recommended by one of her friend, and Annette, the dressmaker who fitted her wedding gown had sent one of her assistants, Lori, to make sure that her dress was worn just perfectly.

"I'm so nervous, I could throw up," Cee Cee said comically, since her mouth was barely moving as the makeup artist, Jessica, applied the lipstick.

I was sitting on one of the chairs near the window in her room, flipping through the invitation list because I had nothing else to do.

"You'll be fine. You're good with all these public stuff, you know that," I assured her.

"That's not what I meant," she said, looking at herself in the mirror above the dresser. "I meant I'm nervous about this whole being married thing. What if I'm not ready?"

Startled, I looked at her. "Cee Cee, you said yourself that you couldn't be more ready if you tried. Remember? This is what you wanted…being legally bound with Adam, as you said it."

She gave a little laugh. "That sounded so unromantic."

"Well, you have more time for the romantic stuff later," I grinned.

She laughed again, then kept still while Jessica added the last touch of make up on her face.

Once Jessica was done, she spoke again, sounding worried, "But…what if I'm not ready to be a wife? What if I screw it up and…" she broke off, looking almost upset.

I was surprised beyond words. I had never seen Cee Cee this nervous, or this terrified before. Not even when she was almost arrested for protesting against child labor outside one of Nike's shops a few years ago. It was just not in her character to back down.

Pulling the chair, I set it beside hers and held her hand. It was cool to the touch, probably because she was experiencing the last breaking nerves.

"Cee Cee, I don't know what it's like to be in you position now, so I won't pretend to understand. But what I do know is that you're one of the bravest people I know, and also one of the most kindhearted and caring person I have ever met. If not the most caring. That's why I have no doubt that you will be great as a wife, as a mother, or just… you know, as a married woman. Adam is so happy to be with you, believe me. So don't doubt yourself, especially not today."

Oh crap, she was tearing up. Jessica's going to kill me.

"Suze…" she sniffed, quickly grabbing a tissue and dabbing at the corner of her violet eyes, before breaking into a smile. "I'm glad you're here, I don't think I can do without your pep talk."

I waved it off. "You're talking to the former Junior Class Vice-President here, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She grinned, before our heart-to-heart was interrupted by a screech by Jessica, who had just realized what had happened and was frantically trying to repair Cee Cee's eye shadow. Luckily, she spared my life, understanding what an emotional day it could be for brides everywhere.

As Cee Cee went off to change into her wedding gown, I looked out of the bedroom window that opened into the side of the house. People were milling around, mostly the caterers who had set up the tents just at the side of the yard where the ceremony would be. Cee Cee's parents had really splurged on this wedding, considering she's their only child and they obviously wanted the best for her.

Looking at the couples who were arriving for the wedding, inadvertently the thought that I had been avoiding the most surfaced again.

I didn't want to think about it. The thing which happened two days ago. But sometimes it just popped up and I couldn't make it go away.

It was my fault. I was rushing to go back home after sending off the files of my current case to the court in order to pack and get ready for Cee Cee's party. It was raining, and I wasn't watching where I was going, and the fact that I was wearing the new shoes that I would be wearing today to break them in…and then when I bumped into someone and almost fell…

I swear I nearly had a heart failure when I saw who that someone was. I just stopped breathing, basically.

He had held my arms, and oh God…just thinking about it again made my face heat up.

The way he was looking at me, like he wanted to take me there and then.

I closed my eyes, but the images and the feelings of that day kept rushing back.

We had looked at each other for what felt like forever, and then in a move that made me wonder if it was just a long-time dream coming true, he kissed me.

I must have melted. Because my legs could barely hold me up the moment that sensuous mouth was touching mine, making my heart explode like fireworks that Gandalf had set alight for the hobbit kids.

I tried to resist it, believe me, I tried. I was aware that I couldn't be kissing him because I would be betraying my lie, the one where I was supposed to be with another man. The one where I had chosen poor unknown Oliver over him.

But I couldn't. I wasn't that strong. So I just gave in. For that brief moment, just to feel his love, his passion, his desire. I was using him to make me feel alive again after feeling like I had awaken from the grave the past few weeks, and I knew I was being selfish. Even though his touch was shooting sparks in my stomach, even though the feel of his smooth skin under my hands was addictive, even though his kiss was making my head spin with all the clashing sensations…

I had to stop before it got much further. Before I started deluding myself that after the kiss, there could be us.

So I pulled away, instantly feeling sorry that it had to end, blaming myself for being weak. I couldn't look into those gorgeous dark eyes without feeling like I could break into pieces, and so I ran, escaping the soaring dream into stark reality.

Sighing, I sat down on the chair by the window again.

My lips still tingled whenever I remembered that kiss, but I didn't want to remember. The pleasure of it was only balanced with the pain that came after.

Jesse, I miss you…wherever you are.

Luckily when I told Cee Cee that Jesse couldn't make it to her wedding, she didn't push it. I didn't explain, not wanting to burden her with my problems. Especially since she had been so helpful during the time when I was dragging myself with my stupid broken leg the last couple of weeks.

She had been in Washington on a job, and so she couldn't come but luckily Adam was there to pick me up from the hospital and helped me move back home. And then Fiona became my chauffer, driving me to the office and back home everyday for two weeks. When Cee Cee came back, she made sure that my car was repaired and taken care of.

Mom and Andy also came to visit me later, admonishing me for not telling them about my accident earlier. My mom was the one who drove me to the hospital last week to get my cast taken off, and then she and Andy went back to Carmel because they had to oversee the renovation of the porch of that old house.

When I think about it, I had so many people who really cared about me. My own personal network. I didn't need Jesse after all. I had my family and friends.

Then again, none of them could give me the heart-stopping kisses like he can.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Cee Cee's footsteps, and when I turned around, I saw her practically shining with beauty and delight. Her wedding gown had a wide neckline, showing off her fair shoulders, with long sleeves that flared at her wrists, and the bodice were of silk-satin, wrapped around her top down to her waist before falling gracefully into a soft twirl. She didn't want any trains, but her veil made up for it, trailing down her to the floor. The ceremony would be held under the tent so there was no danger of her sensitive skin being affected by the sun.

"You look gorgeous," I squealed, thrilled for her.

"You know what? I think so too," she laughed, and I realized that all her worries had been finally been banished.

- 0 – 0 – 0-

The flower girls walked down the aisle first, followed by the four bridesmaids.

And then it was my turn and I felt more than a little self-conscious when everyone turned to watch me walk and I was just praying that I wouldn't fall flat on my face, what's with my new shoes and all.

But it went alright, and when I saw Adam standing at the end of the aisle, I couldn't help but smile.

He had a tux on, and his hair had been combed properly and he just looked so handsome. He grinned when he saw me, and I went to stand besides the bridesmaids, giving him a discreet thumb's up.

Then the music started and Cee Cee finally walked down the aisle, holding her dad's arm while her other hand held a bouquet of flowers. I could hear a gasp here and there from the many guests, the cameras started flashing and even behind her veil, I could see her beaming from across the yard. To say that Adam gawked would be an understatement.

I didn't blame him. I had never seen Cee Cee looked so beautiful.

Cee Cee's dad gave her away, and then she and Adam turned to face the minister, a friend of her parents' who was invited to conduct the ceremony. They repeated the vows, exchanged the rings and five minutes later, with a simple line of "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and a joyful kiss, they were officially married.

I think I shed a tear or two. But don't tell anyone.

Once the official stuff was done, everyone moved to the other tent where the tables for food and drinks had been set up. The band which Adam had hired was playing the music in the background, and the food was great and everything was going so well.

After Adam's best friend, Eric, had given his speech as the best man, everyone started glancing at me and I realized that I had to say something. I started to panic, not wanting to give a speech yet as the maid-of-honour, I was expected to give one. But then I realized that I didn't have to rehearse for anything. I already knew what I had to say.

So, taking a deep breath, I clanged the spoon twice on my champagne glass to catch everyone's attention, and when they had quietened down, I stood up.

"Hello everyone," I began, lamely. But I pushed through. Quickly done, quickly over. "I'm Suze Simon, and I'm the bride's maid-of-honour who doubles as her best friend." For some reason some people laughed at that. I wasn't trying to be funny though. I was too nervous.

Then I continued, "I also knew the groom, in fact, I had known both the bride and the groom since high school, where we attended the same school in Carmel. This friendship was not intentional, by the way. I had moved to Carmel during junior year and being the loner that I was, I had no intentions of befriending anyone. Teenagers, you know." Smiles were exchanged as people looked at each other and were all, 'Ah yes, I remember being at that age…'

"But after a memorable encounter, Cee Cee and I became friends, and she introduced me to Adam. From that moment on, both of them were my constant companions, giving me support when I needed it and also when I said I didn't need but I actually did." More smiles. "I knew that something was going on between them, something romantic, but it took a long time before they realized it. Needless to say, I was very happy when these two finally admitted their feelings to each other. I mean, look at how cute they are!"

The guests cheered and clapped, and Adam leaned over and gave Cee a kiss on the cheek, making her blush.

"Well, all I want to say is thank you for your friendships in all of these years and…my best friend married my other best friend. What more could I ask? I know you will have a wonderful life together, because you deserve it. Both of you," I ended, looking at the two happy lovebirds.

The tented yard was quiet, and I had to swallow a few times to keep myself from tearing up. Cee Cee and Adam were smiling at me, and I raised my glass and said, "To Cee Cee and Adam!"

Everyone echoed the line and toasted the newlyweds, and then applauded as I sat down. Cee smiled from beside me, and I gave her a hug, making sure that I didn't mess up her veil. Then I heard Adam said, "That wasn't too bad, Simon!"

I released Cee and looked over at him. "Thank you. You're not too bad, either, McTavish."

He smirked. "Of course not. Look who I end up with."

Waggling my finger at him, I said sternly, "You better take good care of her, or I'll hunt you down and kick your butt!"

Cee laughed, and Adam grinned. "Don't worry, I will take good care of her, starting tonight. She'll have the best time of her life."

"Too much info!" I exclaimed in horror, while Cee swatted his arm, embarrassed. But she didn't protest when he leaned over and kissed her.

I started giggling at them, before I caught myself. Giggling? Must be the champagne.

Later, they took their first dance as a married couple and everyone joined them on the floor, while I sat at the table and watched.

I was happy for them because I knew how happy they were.

But I couldn't help feeling a little envious of their relationship, knowing how easy they stayed together without any major problems. Of course I didn't want to feel sorry for myself, but I just couldn't help but wonder if I could ever be as happy as that. If there was any man who could make me smile the way Cee Cee does whenever Adam looked at her in that special way.

No, I should rephrase that. I should say if there was any available man who could make me feel that way. Because I could think of one man who could make me happy, if only we could be together.

Maybe I was stupid to let him go. Maybe I had made a mistake.

But what good was hope, if hope doesn't guarantee a future?

I guess there was nothing wrong with being alone. I didn't need to be married. I didn't need to have kids. If I ever want one, I could always adopt. Independent woman and all that.

Then again, nothing could substitute pure love, right?

I spent the whole afternoon in that vein, thinking whether I had made the right decision, doubting and reassuring myself in turns. It came to the point where I fear I could become a schizophrenic. Not enough with being a mediator as my alter-ego, apparently.

There were a few guys who were throwing me significant looks, waiting to see if I was open for a dance. When I noticed that happening, I quickly pretended I was eating, or I would get up and started to talk to one of the bridesmaids. It wasn't that the guys were ugly or anything, it was just that I didn't have the heart to turn them down if they did ask me for a dance.

This wouldn't have happened if I had actually brought a partner to the wedding.

But I stopped my self-pitying thoughts just enough to walk Cee Cee and Adam out of the garden and into the street as the sun was setting, along with all the guests who were throwing confetti and taking pictures like crazy.

Amidst all the chaos, I managed to catch Cee's eyes and she blew me a kiss, before getting into the white rented limo. Smiling, I waved them off as they drove away to their honeymoon, the sign "Just Married" hanging off the back of the car.

And that was that. They were gone, leaving me feeling elated and also, a little empty.

- 0 – 0 – 0 -

I drove back home that evening, declining Cee Cee's parent's invitation to stay the night over. I knew they had some relatives who were visiting and I didn't want to interrupt any family stuff. Without Cee Cee there, I felt like an outsider, even though I knew her parents very well.

I had changed into my normal clothes when I left, and as soon as I arrived, I hung the dress that I wore for the wedding and took a quick shower, my soft bed beckoning me. I was exhausted beyond belief.

My feet ached from the high heels, my face itched from the make up I had been forced to put on and my eyes were spotty with all the flashes from the cameras today. I must have taken close to 50 pictures, with the bride and the groom, and the random people who wanted to take a picture with the maid-of-honor. I had never smiled so much in my life.

After the shower, I changed into one of my oversized T-shirts and promptly fell asleep.

The next day was a Sunday, so I had planned on sleeping in, guessing that I would be tired from the wedding.

I was right about being tired. What I was wrong on was the fact that I was able to sleep in.

This was because I was rudely awakened from my deep slumber by the door bell ringing insistently and annoyingly. At first I tried to ignore it, hoping that whoever it was would leave. But when it rang again and again, I groaned and turned over to the side table, searching for the clock.

It was 9.15 a.m. Who the hell wakes up this early on a freaking Sunday?

Groggy and pissed off, I slowly got up, put on my robe and stumbled sleepily to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. The bell rang again, and I yelled, "Coming!"

God, I was going to give an earful to whomever it was that had the nerve to wake me up this early. I mean, whatever the problem was, surely it could wait a few more hours.

I stalked to the door and unlatched the lock, preparing to yell my head off to that person. If it was the landlord or somebody from my apartment, there would be some broken cartilages. I figured I could get away with the defense of temporary insanity – or sleepiness.

Twisting the knob, I swung the door open, ready to rant.

But the person who stood there was someone I totally did not expect.

"Dylan? "

His blue eyes were cold. "We need to talk."