Author's notes: It's been forever, I know. I still hate this chapter more than anything, I guess it won't change. That's the reason I couldn't update...I hated everything I wrote and I don't want to post stuff I hate.
Well, now I ended up posting it anyway. Does that make sense? No, but it doesn't matter. Here's your chapter 20... unbeta-ed.
Riku sighed. It was another one of those days where you just wanted to crawl under the blanket and hide. Things had been going well lately; school was always all right, mostly because of Sora, and home wasn't that bad either. Sure, the evil woman who called herself mother was a great annoyance but when had that been different? It even seemed as though she had suddenly decided to give him a little more privacy, which was odd. She was probably busy planning the fiancée party.
So today, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining and Riku was cursing his way through the halls until he finally left his house. He hadn't wanted to get up. Wanted to dream a little longer. But the thought of seeing Sora quickly overpowered his sour mood and soon he was heading towards the boy's house in a steady pace.
----
It was another one of those days, Sora grumpily thought, where you just wanted to crawl under the blanket and hide. Not even the thought of Riku could help him much, really. Of course he wanted to see his friend, of course he wanted to be with him. But today really sucked.
The weather was nice, which should have made Sora happy, too but somehow it only served to make it worse.
"Yeah, keep chirping, you stupid birds," the brunet muttered, stuffing a piece of bread into his mouth. It was the last piece, the last edible thing in this house. He made a mental note to go out for some grocery shopping after school since his mother had left him a small amount of money to spend. Even with two jobs, both being better than what she had been doing before, there still wasn't enough money to live by normal standards. They were still poor.
Another pang in his chest, another stupid thing today. Not that being poor was so bad, Sora was used to it, but it still bothered him simply because everything bothered him today.
Lack of sleep and stress were simply the worst enemy of every human being.
The doorbell rang. Yes, the doorbell was finally working. They had had it since they moved it but it was broken, so Ryoko had to try and fix it. And miraculously she did. But Sora cursed this doorbell because it always made this annoying buzzing sound he hated so much since it reminded him of bees, and he hated bees. Not only today.
"Coming, coming," he muttered, yawning once more before grabbing his schoolbag to leave.
Outside, Riku was waiting. Sora tried to ignore the urge to hug him, since he wasn't in the mood for anything today, but when he saw that inviting sweater (it was light grey and looked so fluffy, just like a cloud), he couldn't help himself.
Riku smiled when he felt the boy cling to him, inhaling deeply and blowing out the breath against his chest.
"Good morning to you, too," he chuckled, gently caressing his friend's hair.
Sora pulled away, adjusting the hood on his sweater before motioning Riku to go.
For a while, they were silent, just walking beside each other as the cars passed by on the road beside them. They walked in a steady pace, not too slow but not really fast either and both seemed to be absorbed into their own little world.
Sora was still in a lousy mood, even being with Riku couldn't change that. Well, not quite. He had to admit that he did feel a little bit better in the silver haired boy's presence. Smiling a little, he reached out to grasp Riku's hand.
Riku wasn't really surprised, just a bit startled when he felt the warm hand touching his cold one. His hands were always cold.
"Your hands are freezing," Sora quietly mumbled, frowning a bit as he turned to his friend.
Riku shrugged slightly, not too comfortable with Sora noticing all those things about him. He hated the way his hands were always cold – it made him seem detached, lifeless…
A smile quickly replaced the frown and boy, was it a beautiful smile.
"You need to keep them warm!"
Riku could only blink in slight bewilderment and then gasp in shock when Sora took both of his hands into his, lifting them up to his lips to kiss them.
For a moment, time stood still. There was nothing around them, there was only them standing together, Sora's lips pressed to Riku's hands. He closed his eyes to savour the moment, surprised as to how good it felt to have those lips press against the back of his hand, slowly moving their way to the icy fingers.
They had stopped walking long time ago and would probably be late for school if they kept standing in the middle of the street, but neither seemed to care.
Riku parted his lips as he felt Sora kiss his fingers, leaving burning hot marks – at least that's what he felt. In a matter of seconds, Riku felt warm all over, his body tingling as he opened his eyes in confusion. They were clouded and unfocused but he tried to look at Sora anyway.
"Better?" the brunet asked, having pulled away a few seconds ago. He was blushing a bit, not really sure about what he had just done.
Riku felt himself blush a bit too when he realized what had just happened. Guys weren't supposed to do that, at least not in public. Yet, it had still felt so nice and so right.
"Thanks," he replied, giving Sora a small kiss on the cheek.
Sora's cheeks flared up immediately (even though he should have been used to those kisses already) and he jerked his head into the direction of the school and motioned Riku to pick up the pace.
"Let's get going, I don't want to be responsible for being late again."
Riku chuckled and lightly smacked Sora before going, earning a cute pout.
----
During lunch break, they were allowed to eat outside instead of the usual cafeteria. The weather was nice enough and seemed suspiciously warm for an autumn day. No one was going to complain about that.
Sora and Riku had been sitting with Kairi and Selphie in the cafeteria, talking about this and that. It was their usual talk about latest gossip and news, complaints about teachers and classes.
Well, Selphie did the most complaining. Kairi was there for gossip. Sora and Riku, however, were often more distracted than interested.
Distracted by each other, to be exact.
For one, Riku's hand would always vanish under the table after some time. A few minutes after, Sora would blush and smile at Riku, trying his best not to make it too obvious. They sat close together, their hands disappearing under the table, but Kairi knew they were holding hands.
It didn't take a genius to see what was going on between them. They didn't even seem to try hard in hiding.
It hurt Kairi a little but not enough to go between them, for Kairi cared a lot about Riku. She had always cared, in a sisterly kind of way he had probably never understood. But from what she knew about Riku, she knew he was lonely. And she also knew that she was never going to be the one to change this.
But with Sora here… With Sora smiling at Riku, Sora holding his hand, Sora simply being Sora… it would be all right. Riku was warming up, not only to Sora but also to others.
Of course, almost no one noticed since they were all too blinded by their fantasies about their perfect God. But Riku had always been acting around them, playing his role as the super-human. Now, however, he seemed to finally allow himself to feel too. He smiled sometimes and it was not that charming smile he used to make dozens of girls swoon.
He laughed sometimes, mostly because of the things Sora said, and it sounded so carefree and sincere.
Kairi was jealous, for Sora was able to make Riku feel like this while she had been completely useless.
That didn't stop her from loving Sora, though. She knew she had a crush on him, a major crush. She had caught herself writing his name on her desk, adding hearts and flowers to it and all that silly stuff teenage girls did when they were in love.
She knew she was being stupid but she couldn't help it. Seeing Sora made her stomach jump up and down and she would get this silly smile on her face whenever he looked at her.
Sora was simply the perfect boy. He was nice to everyone, he was cute, adorable, sweet. He was friendly and helpful. He wasn't a genius, but that's what she liked about him. He was simply him, and that was more than enough.
She wished she could tell Sora how she felt but she suspected that he wouldn't return her feelings. He was probably one to say that he was flattered, would give her a smile and try his best to make her understand without hurting her. Sora was just this type of guy…
Riku leaned in, whispering something into Sora's ear.
Smiling, the boy nodded and cleared his throat.
"Hey, um, guys," he addressed Kairi and Selphie who had both been watching their friends curiously.
"Riku and I are going to go outside for a while, okay? Since the weather is nice and all…" He gave them some kind of apologetic smile and turned to Riku.
The silver haired boy looked at Kairi as though he was asking for her permission.
Of course Kairi agreed and waved at them when they made their way out of the cafeteria. When they gone, Selphie heaved a long sigh, putting down the sandwich she had been eating.
"Man, Kairi, I feel so sorry for you…"
Kairi smiled and shook her head. "Nah, it's all right. I like seeing them together…" Even though it hurt, she was set to pull through. She wanted Riku to be happy and she knew she had no chance with Sora. They were already madly in love with each other, so there was no hope.
---
Riku pulled Sora along, leading him to a secluded little place in the corner of the schoolyard. They were surrounded by grass as they sat down, first next to each other, but Riku soon pulled Sora close for him to sit on his lap.
"This is awkward," Sora commented as he wriggled slightly into a comfortable position. Riku just smiled and wrapped his arms around Sora's waist.
"Awkward but nice," he replied, snuggling closer to the boy in his arms.
Sora chuckled and sighed, leaning back against Riku.
"It's weird, though…" he murmured, swaying his head slightly. "I mean… what we do… and what we think…"
Riku perked up at that. "What we think?" he repeated, blinking his aqua eyes in curiosity.
Sora blushed a bit and shrugged. He avoided to answer the question, though. "We're friends and we like each other, right?"
Riku nodded.
"And we hug…and we sit around like this…"
Of course Riku had noticed the slight difference between them and regular friends. Friends hugged each other, all right, but it was more of a girl-thing to do. Girls hugged each other regularly whereas guys only patted each other's backs and shook hands.
"Don't you think we're acting a bit weird…?" Sora tentatively asked, sounding strangely insecure.
Riku frowned. Surely they were not like others, they had been through this before, right? That day when they were in the rain, standing in front of Sora's house… but they had decided, no Sora had decided that it was all right this way. So why was he feeling insecure now?
Riku knew that he cared for Sora like he had never cared for anyone and he liked being with Sora, doing those things even though others would think of them as weird. It wasn't like anyone was going to be against what their God, the perfect angel was doing.
"Do you?" he eventually asked, nudging his friend slightly.
Sora shook his head immediately. Then he paused, frowning slightly. He looked at Riku, then down to his lap, then back at Riku, all the while having his arms around Riku's neck, playing with the hair brushing against his fingers.
He liked being like this…
"I…I don't know. I guess I do," he admitted quietly, looking away for a while. When he felt Riku's hand move away from his waist, up to his chin to tilt it back to meet his eyes, Sora sighed.
"But I like when we're like this…" he whispered, leaning in closely so that their foreheads touched.
They could feel each other's breaths against their lips and Riku was all too ready to kiss Sora, not giving a damn about it being weird. He wanted it and he always got what he wanted.
However, when their lips were about to make contact, Sora suddenly pulled away, scampering off Riku's lap.
"So I was like, what'cha doing here? And he was like, nothing, and I knew he was cheating on me with that girl but he said he wasn't so I told him to go to hell and we got into a big fight and he broke up with me but I don't care 'cause…"
A group of chattering girls passed them, one of them rambling as the others listening intently and 'ooh'-ed and 'ah'-ed occasionally.
Riku rolled his eyes in annoyance but was kind of relieved that they hadn't seemed to notice him. It would be the first time his fangirls walked by without screaming, drooling or doing other strange things.
Sora looked miserable all of the sudden, sitting there beside Riku.
"What's wrong?" the silver haired boy queried, reaching out a hand to pat Sora.
However, when the other boy was about to open his mouth and say something, the group of girls that had just passed by, came back into view.
"It's Riku!" one of them shrieked, causing everyone else in the schoolyard to look into their direction.
So much about secluded place.
Soon, they were being chased down by rabid fans and Riku could only grab Sora's hand before dashing off as fast as he could.
Sora tagged along, being pulled by Riku who was running inhumanly fast. Eventually, they managed to hide in the boy's bathroom, though he knew the fangirls probably wouldn't refrain from following them in here.
"I hate them," Riku muttered, shaking his head in annoyance.
Sora nodded and sighed, leaning against one of the sinks.
Riku watched him in concern, wondering what was wrong with Sora lately. He was overworked and stressed out but there seemed to be something else bothering him. What was it?
"Sora…"
Before he could say another thing, the younger boy turned to him with a bright smile and hugged him close, tightening his arms with every breath he took.
"I'm just…having a bad day…don't worry about me," Sora murmured against Riku's neck before nuzzling it.
Riku hummed in acceptance and squeezed his friend. "The day is almost over, you can go home and rest then."
Sora chuckled. "If it were that easy…" he muttered, more to himself than to Riku, but the silver haired boy caught it, frowning as he did.
What was going on? Was it the tests? Or his home? Or both? Maybe Sora was really overstrained with everything going on.
"Let me help you, Sora. No matter what it is, I'll do it."
He felt the brunet press a soft kiss to his neck, as if to say that it was all right. He just hoped it was true.
---
Saying goodbye had been extra hard today. Riku couldn't, wouldn't let go of Sora. They remained standing in front of Sora's house for over half an hour, hugging.
It was only until Riku realized how late it was that he had to get going. Sora gave him a smile but Riku wondered if it was really all right to leave Sora all by himself.
"I'm fine, don't worry, hunny bunny!" the boy had laughed, shoving Riku into the direction of his home to get him going.
Riku had only frowned but tried to smile anyway. "All right, but don't you dare to pass out from exhaustion, marshmallow."
Sora had nodded and given him the victory sign.
When Riku had come home, it had begun to rain and he was reminded of the party that was going to take place tonight. He had completely forgotten about it due to his worries about Sora, but being ushered into his room to change and get ready made it all come back.
He had immediately called up Sora, feeling the need to complain to someone. Sora, of course, had listened and tried to cheer him up, telling him that he would try his best to stop time for him.
They had a good time talking on the phone but it passed too quickly, leaving Sora with even more work and less time. Riku apologized but Sora said it was all right.
When they hung up, they both kissed the receiver without knowing that the other was doing it too.
---
So now it was time.
Riku lay in his bed. Only half an hour was left until the stupid fiancée party would begin. He couldn't believe it was already time for that. He had completely suppressed the thought of this party up until now. He remembered being in the bathroom with Sora a few days ago, talking about the school trip. Back then, he had been aware of this party but hadn't cared much since it had seemed so far away.
But now it was here. It was time. And he wanted nothing more than to disappear. Didn't Sora say he would stop time?
He sighed.
"Damn you, Sora…your magic isn't working!" he muttered, pouting slightly as he stared at the ceiling.
He was already fully dressed. Black tuxedo, white shirt, his mother even tried forcing him to wear a tie but he flat out refused it in throwing it on his balcony, stating his point rather childishly but still very clearly. He had half expected her to slap him for this and was surprised when she had only given him that evil look before exiting the room to leave the servants working on her son. It was the way she always reacted. She never bothered to take the time, never bothered to explain why she wanted certain things, always only demanded and ordered. And when things didn't go the way she wanted them, she let others take care of the situation until it was the way she wanted it. Riku hated this.
So now there were two maids and one butler, still trying to talk him into getting up from the bed so they could brush his hair. Brush his hair! Riku rolled his eyes.
"Master Riku, I beg you to leave the bed. We must get you ready for this party. The mistress will not allow any mistakes."
'Mistakes, my ass.' That's what he would have liked to say. He could have said it, too, since there were only his servants who wouldn't dare to say anything against his foul mouth or inappropriate language, and yet he still chose not to voice his thoughts. He had been taught not to state his thoughts when they were like this.
Nevertheless, he wanted them to leave him alone and decided that he could tell them without being mean.
"Leave the room, now. I'll be fine on my own and I promise to be downstairs in twenty minutes. Your job is done, so just get out of here."
Now that sounded appropriate, right? Riku sat up and straightened himself, waving his hand in dismissal. The servants looked a little lost, seemingly unsure of what to do and whom to obey. Riku knew that he was making it extra hard for them with his bratty behavior but could he help it? No, he couldn't. He wanted his privacy at least for twenty minutes and he definitely didn't want anyone to touch his hair.
"Get out," he repeated, still not sounding hostile but still kind of intimidating and eventually, the maids recoiled, leaving only the butler in the room.
The man was about to open his mouth and say something but Riku ignored it and let himself fall backwards to stare at the ceiling.
Shaking his head in what seemed to be weariness, the servant slowly left the room, finally giving Riku the wanted peace and quiet.
Peace and quiet. The quiet before the storm. Soon, the mansion would be flooded by idiotic upper class girls, shrill voices and fake laughter. How was he supposed to find the one he wanted to spend his life with in that mass?
"Sora…"
A frown formed on his forehead and he rolled to his side, curling up as though he was cold. He didn't care about the fact that he was making wrinkles in his newly bought tuxedo. He didn't even understand why he had to wear a tuxedo anyway. He looked like a penguin.
Riku suddenly grinned.
The image of Ryoko shot through his mind and he remembered the time she had picked up the phone when he actually wanted to talk to Sora.
"Mother…" he murmured, uncurling slowly to stretch his legs out. Ryoko was a real mother, or at least she was what Riku thought a mother should be. Caring, loving, understanding, funny. Caring, was the keyword, he thought. Ryoko cared. Not only for Sora but also for him, he could feel it. That woman cared for everyone in a way.
Unlike his mother, Ryoko had a heart.
"She probably never wanted me," he mumbled, ignoring the slight stinging in his chest. He sat up again, rolling his eyes as the random thought of doing sit-ups crossed his mind. With all the lying down, sitting up, lying down and sitting up yet again, he was probably doing more work-out than anyone else. He sighed, turning his eyes to stare at the door on the opposite side of the room.
The white surface of the wooden door was intimidating. Really, it was. Though he didn't quite know why, not even when he cocked his head to examine the door a bit closer.
He had never realized it before but this door…it seemed so solid and impenetrable. And looking at it for a little longer, Riku almost felt like being choked by the door and the power it seemed to have. He was trapped in this room and even though it was as huge as Sora's apartment, it still felt like a cage, especially with that door that scared Riku now more then ever. It was like the ultimate barrier.
"…what the hell am I thinking…?" he slowly murmured, shaking his head vigorously to clear his thoughts.
Obviously, this whole fiancée party thing was getting on his nerves so much that he began to think of strange stuff.
But that door was really intimidating…
"Shut up," he told his mind, shaking his head once again before dragging himself out of bed. He wandered over to the French windows and opened them, feeling the cold evening breeze hiss at him. It was still raining and the rain only served to remind him of Sora. Why? Probably because of that one afternoon he had shared with Sora, the one under the trees.
A smile crept up his lips as he suddenly saw the past event play in his mind. Everything had been relaxed and peaceful and the feelings he'd had…
Riku blushed. He didn't even realize but his cheeks were getting pink at the memory of what exactly happened that afternoon. How close they had been. How close they had been today. He noticed that whenever he was with Sora, something strange was happening inside him, something that felt like a swirling inside his body. It was pleasant, though.
He closed his eyes slowly, drowning in the memory of that feeling. If he concentrated on this one memory, he could almost feel Sora beside him. In his mind, he could see him, could smell him and hear him breathe. In his mind, Sora was there.
A row of knocks interrupted the wonderful moment.
"Master Riku, your mother demands your presence in the foyer."
That annoying voice! Not that he recognized it in particular (he rarely registered the people working for him) but the fact that this voice had just destroyed what little had been left of his privacy and happiness really made him think of strangling the annoying, yet innocent, maid.
"Master Riku!" she called, knocking on the door again. Before he even had the chance to groan, the door crept open, revealing a very self-conscious looking young woman.
"The…the mistress demands your—"
"Presence, yes, you said that," Riku hurriedly finished as he brushed himself off to make his way toward the door.
The maid bowed her head meekly as he passed her and closed the door behind him.
When he was about to reach the staircase, the maid still standing at the door, he turned around to face her.
"Say…" he began, clearing his throat a little.
The maid didn't dare to look up, as she was not supposed to, but the long pause in Riku's speech made her peer at him eventually.
He nodded at her and gestured with his hand towards himself.
"How do I look?" he asked, smirking slightly at the reddening face and absolutely shocked expression.
The maid bowed again, and mumbled a quiet response.
Riku chuckled and shook his head, turning around once more to finally head to the foyer. It was obvious that the maid was too flustered to even think straight for the next, let's say, four hours, so he thought it was best to leave her alone.
It was weird, though. All of his life had been like this. Everyone treated him like the maid did. Always bowing their heads, always getting flustered when he talked to them.
All of them, except one person.
He didn't even want to speak his name aloud, now that he was nearing the anteroom. Who knew how well his mother could hear? She might eavesdrop on his spoken thoughts and if that name ever slipped from his lips, he and the owner of this name were going to be dead and buried.
Although, technically, she had heard the name before. That phone call, he remembered. But before he could start to think about this mysterious person who supposedly knew about 'him and Sora', he reached the entrance hall where he could see his mother looking at him with that cold, yet excited expression. An oxymoron? Well, not quite. She didn't look cold in the sense of emotionless. The expression on her face was very clear and bold, the excitement of having a party and the stress of planning this party were clearly visible on her features. The coldness Riku saw was something only he could see. That arctic feeling that surrounded her, the merciless power of her glaring eyes. Maybe he was just imagining all that, maybe she was actually not like this, but one thing he knew. This woman loathed him, didn't care for him, only saw him as one of the pretty objects she could show off.
He hated her for this and yet he couldn't help but feel that he belonged in here. This had been his home for fifteen years, every day had been like this – he was one of those stuck up people.
Sighing, he strolled to his mother, straightening automatically since he felt like being inspected by her.
"There you are," she began, already using that slightly annoyed tone in her voice. It was like no matter what Riku did, she was always upset about it.
"What took you so long? Well, never mind now. Your father and I have planned this party very carefully so you better behave. Don't run off to hide in your room like you did last time. Don't be rude to the people here; they are all acquaintances and colleagues of us, so it is very important to be polite and well mannered. Remember, Riku, this evening could be a major event in your life."
Very impressive, indeed, Riku sarcastically thought. This was the most his mother had talked to him in years, maybe it was the most ever because usually she just gave short commands or scolded him.
"Yes, ma'am," he replied, putting on that fake smile he had learned to wear over the years. He was one of them, at least for this evening. There was nothing he could do about it.
His mother actually smiled back, equally fake, but she smiled.
And so everything was okay.
"The guests will arrive soon. I will have the maids to open the doors but you have to be right there to greet everyone. A good host does that, remember it."
They nodded at each other, and to a stranger it might have seemed civil, probably even friendly, but their gestures were mere acts. Acts of politeness and manners they had learned to use even if their feelings were the complete opposite.
Riku hated himself for being able to put up this act.
---
In his room, Sora was slowly losing his mind because of his studies. Textbooks and notes were scattered across the small desk and the brunet decided to give up for the moment.
He lay down on his bed, holding his head as he heaved a sigh. It was about 10 pm and he hadn't eaten yet. Ryoko had left some money for him to buy food but he simply hadn't found the time to do so and now he was lying in his bed with nothing in his stomach.
"I can't work like this," he mumbled, trying to drag himself back up to get something to eat. They had to have at least something.
However, when he tried to get up, he found that his body wouldn't obey and instead he remained lying limply on the bed, muscles relaxing in exhaustion. He thought of his mother and how she would be working until after midnight again just to leave before the sun rose for her next job. It was crazy, he thought. No one could stand that. He couldn't stand living like he did at the moment, so how could his mother?
He sighed. Riku had said he wanted to help him, do whatever was needed to do. But Riku couldn't help. What should he do?
"Being with you is the only thing that keeps me alive…" he murmured, trying to curl up, but he was too tired to even do that. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander.
Riku was probably dodging and avoiding stupid girls right now. Sora couldn't help but feel hostile towards those girls, even though he didn't even know them. But the fact that one of them might be Riku's future-wife made Sora a little jealous.
Not that he wanted to be his wife or anything.
Sora blushed. "I blame it on the lack of food…" he told himself, pouting slightly at his thoughts. All he wanted right now was Riku holding him, telling him that everything was going to be all right – that he wouldn't marry anyone and stay with Sora forever.
"Shut up," he told himself, blushing harder at those thoughts. How come he was getting so mushy all of the sudden? It wasn't like him at all, and he shouldn't have those thoughts about Riku. Riku was his best friend.
Opening his eyes once again, he tried to get up, just for a second to get to the bathroom and brush his teeth. He was not surprised to find that his body wouldn't move one inch.
Lying still, he stared up at the underside of the top bunk.
So now he was hungry, unable to move, and still not finished studying for the test coming in two days.
Could it get any worse?
– To be continued –
Ending notes: There are many ideas in my head on how to continue this. I actually planned a Halloween Special Chapter to be out on the 31st but I guess that idea is out of the window now. I might still inculde a Halloween party even if the next update is at Christmas... I'm not sure yet. Anyway... review if you like, tell me what you thought about this chapter.
And that's all.