DISCLAIMERS:
All canon characters are (C) 1992 - whatever year it is Naoko Takeuchi and all other related parties. The Shadow senshi are (C) Wild Nature 2006. This is a fanfic based upon the anime version and all written work that this consists of is (C) 2006 Wild Nature.
Eizou has given up on ever saving Henshou. Rather, she finds herself shouldering the burden of knowing she will eventually destroy Void. But as times edges ever slowly forward, she looks to Jaro for comfort and finds feelings too similar to what she felt before and she is more than afraid for this. How can she choose to destroy and love at the same time?
Episode 17: Her Longing for Love; Eizou's Battering Emotions
Eizou paced in her room. It was nighttime and school was back on tomorrow morning. She looked out at the night sky, the few dim stars twinkling on and off like a switchboard. She eyed the moon dubiously, the crescent wax seeming to blend into the nothingness, blinded slightly by the dim gray clouds.
Apple had stayed, much to her surprise. Jaro had as well but Apple would not say why. Apple didn't seem to care much for Jaro, preferring to be with his mistress more than anything. But again, Apple would not reveal his own feelings. But he certainly tried to get her to talk.
"For that last time, shut up already!" Eizou barely glanced over her shoulder, her gaze smoldering. "Why do you want me to spill my guts? I never have before!"
"If you keep things locked in, it will fester and boil until you break," Apple stilled halfway, having seen the obvious as Eizou mimicked him soundlessly. "Come on! You need to get a grip on yourself!"
"What does it matter?" Eizou moved listlessly, settling into her blankets with a long and dramatic sigh.
Apple settled down next to her bed, his tail flipping just as listlessly as she had moved. "You will be the end of me," he muttered before closing his eyes. "Good night."
"Good night..."
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Lady Duchess wasn't ready for sleep, watching the Solar Cross with a blank gaze. Njord appeared behind her and coughed delicately but getting no response, he coughed harder.
"Oh, Njord, what are you doing still up?"
"I could ask you the same thing," he spoke lightly. "Tell me, my lady, what bothers you?"
"Jaro.. why has he returned?" She studied the crystal walls. "I cannot comprehend what has happened to him in the time away. Not after the trials..."
"That test took a lot out of him," Njord nodded in agreement.
"When he didn't become Void, he was so angry. I never understood why he was so. The role of Void is not an easy task."
"But he knew then that the other person could not handle it, did he?" Njord pointed out. "That the element was too much. How does he think that he could handle it?"
Lady Duchess looked at him with a strange look. "He knew of them."
"Of what?" Njord tilted his head with a frown.
"The Moon Triad Pieces," Njord spoke slowly, the idea forming. "Did he know that Void would have one?"
"No, no one knew of the pieces since before we were born. It's been a lost legend forever."
"Jaro has traveled a great deal, perhaps he heard tales," Njord offered.
Lady Duchess sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore. I could not stop Void then and I cannot do so now. What purpose do we serve for our Shadows if we cannot help them but request their help?"
"We will repay them and more," Njord said lightly.
Lady Duchess changed the subject, her eyes half-closing. "How is Pomona?"
"She won't leave her room," Njord's voice was bitter. "She is taking Lady Kira's death far too much."
"And you seem to be very impassive," Lady Duchess arched an lean eyebrow.
"She was not ours anymore," his voice came out forced.
"I'm sorry, Njord. Would you like me to talk to her?"
"Don't know how much help that will be," Njord shrugged his shoulders before bowing. "I bid you good night."
"Sleep well," she said lightly. She waited until she heard no more of his footprints before leaving with a soft flourish. She found Pomona's room with ease, having once visited it so many times before.
She knocked once, paused, knocked again, and gave the knob a quick rattle. She only had to wait a moment before it opened, Pomona looking out with a small smile.
"Been a while since you've used the special knock," Pomona smiled, her eyes bloodshot and the lids swollen and puffy.
"We need to talk," Lady Duchess said briskly. She gently placed Pomona on her bed. "How long have you known?"
"Known what?" Pomona asked stupidly.
Lady Duchess pulled a hand mirror toward her, lifting it to show Pomona her face. She only had to wait before the mirror revealed something that was not yet on Pomona's person.
"A orange gem emblazed upon my brow," she grasped the mirror, pulling it away from her as she stared in awe. "How...?"
"She chose you to be Shadow Venus. She knew you, if not consciously at least."
Pomona's eyes closed briefly before she threw the mirror against the wall, shattering brilliantly. "No."
"Honey, you have no choice."
That was not the right thing to say. "Please leave," Pomona's voice was stiff with suppressed rage.
Lady Duchess didn't think twice as she nearly fled. Pomona rarely was angry but she was much like her father when so.
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Kakure fumbled in her book bag before she pulled out the lipstick container. "This would really highlight your eyes," she offered it to Eizou who stared at her.
"Why?"
"It's picture day!" Kakure said brightly.
"Certainly would account for the pretty dress," Kaiki grinned at Kakure, taking note of the flowery printed dress that flowed just before her knees. "Bet you're freezing!"
"Bet I look good though," Kakure stuck out her tongue.
"I always look good!" Kaiki boasted louder.
"Excuse me?" Kakure's eyes narrowed. "I am the embodiment of beauty!" She said haughtily.
Eizou snorted. "Oh please! Michiru has you all beat!"
"Bet Haruka would agree on that," Kaiki nodded sagely.
"Pfff! I'm pretty like her!" Kakure began.
"If you grew your hair out," Kaiki began. The two got into a heated argument as Kaki lurched over.
"Ugh... I hate this.." She was pale and bundled greatly.
"You sick? Why come to school!?" Eizou demanded.
"I'm not sick," Kaki said darkly.
Eizou blinked. "Are you, you know?"
"On the worst part of being a 'woman'? Yes, I am," Her voice was dark lingering in rage. "My god! I took some medicine this morning and I still feel like pulling my eyes out!"
"You'll live," Eizou patted her on the shoulder as Kaki shuddered.
The group separated and regrouped after school. "That picture's going to be awful!" Kaki wailed. "I nearly threw up all over the poor man!"
"Well, at least you didn't have him saying, 'Say pretty girl!'" Kakure shuddered. "Pervert!"
Eizou wasn't paying attention as she looked over the sky. The wind picked as she broke into the conversation. "I'm going to head on home. Don't feel much like doing anything right now."
"Awww..." Kakure and Kaiki whined but Kaki also said the same thing, although the two girls had differing reasons.
Eizou found herself home alone, or so she thought.
"Tell me, where have you been? Your aura's different somehow," Apple's voice echoed from the living room.
"I've been traveling for a long time. I wouldn't be able to tell you what I've seen in a lifetime," Jaro's voice came out lightly before it came out louder. "Good day, Eizou."
She poked her head in. "How did you know I was there?"
"I heard you come in?" He answered questioningly, tilting his head slightly. Eizou was a little discerned when Apple was doing the very same thing.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, more colder than she had planned.
"I thought my aid would be suitable. I happen to know a great deal about Void. After all, I tried to gain that level."
"What?" Eizou stepped in fully, the frown blossoming.
"The job of Void is a hard task. The person must be strong enough, not physically although that's certainly a benefit, but mostly in the heart, will, and soul. But alas, I was beaten by a hair. Didn't take it that well either," he smiled mirthfully.
"Who was Void?"
"Hmm? Once was a good friend became my rival and finally my enemy. He was unable to handle the element Void."
"Why?"
"Why do we give into despair? Fall into nothingness, long for death?" Jaro shrugged. "He became consumed by these emotions rapidly, not wanting to be strong. Void is dual, it is both a element that brings for balance but it also brings discord. You must be strong. He always needed to be somebody, that's what let him be chosen but Void is a fickle element, if you cannot control it, it controls you."
"Can he be saved?" Eizou whispered.
Jaro stood slowly, his eyes becoming rather intensive upon her person. "His physical form, no. His soul? Yes. In order to save him, both Void and Henshou, the body must be destroyed."
Eizou pulled away. "No!"
"There is no other way.." Jaro said carefully.
"There is always a way! You can't just kill him!"
"He is already dying! The more Void feeds upon his soul, the more torn it becomes and the least likely for his rebirth," Jaro bit out. "Void needs a strong soul to be balanced. If that level tips, even in the slightest, the soul begins to shred. His body is already taken over, and he hasn't got much time for his inner self!"
"SHUT UP!" Eizou screamed before she ran to her bedroom. She paced the floor, gritting her teeth until her jaw ached in pain. She wanted to scream but chose to beat her arms against her bed wildly, causing the blankets to bunch and the pillows to go flying off. "No! I won't give up! I can't..."
And yet, she remembered looking into those eyes that were supposed to be Henshou's. There had been nothing human there, only a wilderness that frightened her and left her little choice of what to do. But how were she, let alone all the other Shadows as well, to destroy something that was once human?
"I'll save you.. somehow," she sat on the bed, laying down in the fetal position as she cried silently.
She was awaken for dinner, Kakushi's grin fading when he saw the dried tearstains. "Eizou.. um, dinner time." He had planned on pouncing in on her but his enthusiasm fled him the instant he saw his sister's haunted eyes.
She stopped at the doorway, fixing her gaze hard upon the back of Jaro's head. "What are you doing here still?" She asked through clenched teeth.
"He's going to house with us," Hanshou smiled warmly. "Come eat! It's your favorite!"
But she poked at the food serving on her plate, staring sullenly at the mess she made as she occasionally released a long and strained sigh.
Chuukou and Boya were soon eyeing each other, unused to their sister and this kind of behavior.
"Are you okay?" Boya asked loudly.
"Why are you always sighing?" Chuukou and Boya looked at each other.
"OH!" They spoke as one. "Do you have a boyfriend?" They sang out.
Eizou's grip on her fork tightened as she stabbed the plate, causing a painful screech in the sudden silence. "I'm... not hungry.." Eizou mumbled as she tried to push up. But her feet wouldn't work and she broke away, shoving hard as a sob broke out. "Shut up! You stupid pricks! You don't know anything, do you?" She knew she shouldn't be yelling at them but it felt more better than keeping it in. "YOU STUPID! STUPID! STUP..."
"EIZOU!" Kokei's yell and his own hands slamming onto the table, sending many of the plates to the floor, startled everyone, including Eizou.
"Go to your bedroom. You have no right to yell at your brothers," his voice was thin with rage.
"NO!" Eizou screamed. "NO! I have every right! Always making fun of me, always saying stupid things.."
"ENOUGH!" Kokei roared.
"I HATE YOU!" Eizou turned and fled, her feet pounding the ground. She could hear her mother and father calling out for her. Eizou ran for it, the pain her breast beating her on.
She soon found herself at Henshou's home. She slammed the door until her knuckles cracked and her palms were red and starting to swell. "HENSHOU! HENSHOU! Come out? Please?! Come on... HENSHOU!" She crumbled, sobbing. "Don't make me do this! Please! Don't.. wanna hurt..." She buried her head against her crowded knees, the sobs eventually dying down.
The night sky had begun to darken and soon the gray clouds were sending forth a cold rain. She wandered tiredly through the streets. It was empty as she moved listlessly. The cold seeped in as she tripped in a puddle, mud caking her.
"You promised.. you wouldn't let Void hurt me.. so why.. why did you let him take you?" She asked thickly, her fingers sinking into the muddy puddle. "I'm not strong.. I don't know what to do.. I just.. want you back.."
It took a moment to realize that the rain was no longer hitting her. She looked over her shoulder, Jaro quietly holding an umbrella.
"Your parents are going crazy," He offered as an explanation.
"I don't want to go home," She retorted through chattering teeth.
"You'll get sick," He knelt down, watching her with old man eyes. He continued to hold up the umbrella but offered nothing else.
"Why are you here?" Eizou asked bitterly. "If you want to be Void, then you kill him."
"Because I don't have the power to save him," Jaro continued to look at her with those eyes and her own welled up with tears.
"But... I love him.."
"And," his voice came out softly, gently as he leaned ever so close to her. "That will be your greatest power for him. To be saved from the nothingness, there must be a link to break the shell. Love is a powerful weapon and a girl always knows what to do with it. That is why I cannot save him, only you."
"Why are you here?" She asked again.
His gaze bored into hers as he whispered. "Because I, too, love someone.."
And he kissed her, a soft lingering touch of warmth that spread like fire. It wasn't at all like with Henshou, which had been more sweet and gentle. This was intense and startling.
And she surprised herself by pressing into him, clutching his clothes until she buried her face in his jacket sobbing.
"I'm sorry," He wrapped his arms lightly around her, the umbrella flying away in the rain as they merely sat there.