Looking for Kana's Eyes, parts 24 - 29

This story was written online as part of the Kana: WAFFO! (Write A Fun Fanfic Online) project. Odd-numbered instalments were written by JPop4Life, and even-numbered instalments were written by Darkling.

24.

I stare at the phone. It's the same ritual every day. I've come to think of it as the Taka Todo Brotherliness Challenge.

And today, like so many other days, I flunk it miserably.

I sigh heavily, walking past the phone and heading upstairs. Why is it so hard? Why can't I just... pick the darn thing up and call her?

Hey, Kana, how's things? I haven't seen you for a while. How about I drop by sometime and we go get something to eat? Sound good?

How hard is it to say that?

I skulk into my room and slump down at the desk. I have study to do, but I can't seem to find any motivation at the moment. Instead I just prop my elbows on the desk and bury my face in my hands.

Kana.

You haven't really changed, have you? Just because you look different doesn't mean you are different...

But she acts different now!

I sit up as the thought flashes through my head. She does. She even talks differently these days. She... she doesn't seem the same anymore. She's not the shy Kana that she used to be...

And so? What now? Are you just going to give up on her because she doesn't make you feel special anymore?

"Shut up!" I snarl to myself. "Just shut up! That's not it at all! I... I don't love Kana just because she needs me. I... I'm not that shall-"

Bro... hold my hand like you did before.

Bro, I want you to come see me again.

I love you, Bro...

Or am I?

25.

It's just another day like any other day.

I'm here in my room, doing nothing in particular. Nothing has changed. We haven't seen each other in a while, and the thought of it still weighs on my mind.

"How long has it been?" I wonder.

I continue to stare out the window.

"I should just go there," I say to myself. "It's not like I'm not welcome. I've been there plenty of times. I should be able... I should just..."

I stare at the blue sky. It invites me to walk out into it. It's telling me I should go.

I have to do something. Nothing will change if I just don't go there and do it.

I leave my place and finally decide to take some action.

I walk, I ride the train and I walk some more. All the time I'm thinking about what I'm going to say when I finally get there.

"Hey! Long time no see-"

No...

"I was just walking around and-"

That's no good either.

"Surprise! I thought that-"

Definitely not that.

But it seems I've run out of time. I'm already standing outside the door. I just seem to stare at the handle until the door suddenly swings open.

"Um!"

"Hi, Bro... How are you?" I ask.

"W-what brings you here, Kana?" he asks.

26.

"I, um... Can I... can I talk to you... Bro?" I stammer, looking at him as he stands there in the doorway.

"Sure," he says, sounding puzzled. "Come on in. Do you want some tea or something? You look hot."

"Well, maybe a little..." I say, as he steps back and lets me walk in past him. "Tea... tea would be good, if it's not too much trouble."

"It's no trouble at all," he assures me, then waves his arm in the direction of the living room. "Take a seat."

"Right..."

I slip my hand into my pocket, closing my fingers over the little box nestled in there. I clutch it for a moment, whispering a silent prayer and wishing my heart would just stop pounding. Am I right? Did I make the right decision?

Bro joins me in the living room a few moments later. He puts a glass of iced tea in front of me, and sits down beside me. He doesn't look at me as he asks, "So, what did you want to talk about, Kana?"

"Um, I..." I reach out and cradle my glass in both hands, forcing my fingers to tighten around it so they won't tremble as much. "The, the other day, a customer walked into the store. He was a regular a while back, but then he took some time off from university and didn't need to buy textbooks for a while..."

"I see." Bro takes a sip from his glass, and I do the same, awkwardly, thankful for the chance to stop talking for a moment.

"He came up to the counter with some books, and I rang them up for him. And then he... he looked at me, like he was confused, and he said...

"'Hey, what happened to that girl who used to work here?'

"'Pardon me?' I asked.

"'That other girl. You know, the pretty one.'

"And I just stared at him. I... I don't think I know who I am anymore, Bro. I... I... Why won't you look at me?" I break off, choking. "What's... what's wrong with me? I've changed; is that it? Do I... do I even like who I've become? Do... you?"

"Kana." He turns to look at me now, reaching out gently to guide my hands to put my glass down. "Kana, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What's important is what makes you happy-"

"It makes me happy when you look at me!" I sob. "When I... when I know that you love me! If I can't see your eyes, I can't see anything. I might as well be blind!"

His grip on my hands tightens. "You know I love you," he says, gently. "What makes you happy makes me happy."

I look into his eyes, sniffling. His brow is creased, but there's a tentative smile on his face. He's trying to encourage me. He's here for me. He...

He does still love me.

"I'll... I'll be right back, Bro." I let go of his hands and get up from the couch. "I just... I need to fix... my eyes..."

I stumble to the ground floor bathroom and stare into the mirror. My hand slips into my pocket and closes around the little case there. I went to the optometrist's last week and I gave them new instructions. My replacement lenses arrived yesterday.

"Bro," I whisper, staring into my brown eyes in the mirror. "You were right. This... this isn't who I am."

27.

I slip the box into my pocket and head back to the living room. I walk up behind Bro as he drinks his iced tea.

"Sorry I took so long, Bro."

He turns around.

"Urmph!"

-psssttt-

"Aaahhhhhh!"

A spray of iced tea comes flying into my face and hair.

He panics. "Kana! I'm sorry! A- um...are you ok? Let me get you a towel."

Bro quickly rushes back into the kitchen. I steady myself and wait for him. He returns quickly and hands me the towel. I try to wipe my face and clothes free from iced tea.

"I'm so sorry, Kana," he apologizes again.

"I-it's okay. Um... surprise?"

"I'll say. I didn't expect you to walk out with glasses on."

"Well, I didn't expect you would end up spitting all over me."

"I'm sorry, Kana. Surprises and fluids have never gone well toegther for me. Here."

He takes my glasses so I can finish wiping my face. I keep looking at him as he inspects them. There's nothing special to them, really. They're lightweight and have just a little style to them.

"You want to take a bath?" he suggests.

"Yeah... that would be nice. Thank you, Bro."

"It's the least I can do. I'll get the bath started."

Bro and I head upstairs. He starts the bath while I go to my old room and grab a change of clothes.

"Well... it's a good thing I still have this to wear here."

-knock knock-

"Kana? The bath is ready," he says behind the door.

"Okay... Be there in a sec."

I wash my face and hair before I soak in the tub.

What does it mean? Why did he react like that? I thought it would make him happy.

…

…

…

What am I trying to accomplish?

28.

The shower turns off, and I hear a splashing sound as Kana climbs into the bath. I'm standing in the bathroom entranceway, looking at the neatly folded pile of Kana's tea-spattered clothes.

I chuckle to myself. What is it with naked Kana and clothes that aren't quite dry? The situation feels familiar, that's all-

I pause as I pick up Kana's skirt and blouse. I stare at what's underneath, my heart aching a little.

Kana's panties, and her bra.

I'm suddenly very aware that Kana is naked in there. She's not wearing anything. I even remember these panties; I remember helping her to take them off...

Gotta get out of here!

Draping Kana's blouse and skirt over my arm, I whirl around too fast. The hem of Kana's skirt sweeps across the bench, and Kana's new glasses go flying to the floor with a loud clatter.

There's a sudden sloshing of water from the bathroom. "Bro?" Kana calls out. "Is that you?"

Busted!

"Y-yeah, it's me," I confirm. "I just wanted to rinse your clothes before the stain sets or something. I figured I'd wash them under the tap and pop them in the dryer for you."

"You don't have to," Kana says. "It's just tea. I can wash them at home later."

"You... you sure?" I ask. "It's no trouble, and since you're in the bath anyway..."

I hear more splashing from the bathroom, then Kana's silhouette appears in the frosted glass of the bathroom door. She opens the door a crack and peers out, her hair wet.

"Bro, are you just making excuses to stay here and peep at me?" she teases.

"What?" I sputter, pulling Kana's clothes up to my chest. "No! N-no! I was just looking- I, I mean, I saw your panties and- Um... No! No peeping at all. Not a bit."

Kana just sticks her small pink tongue out at me. "Oniichan... ecchi!" she laughs, and shuts the door again. "I won't be long, Bro!"

"Um, good," I say, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Take as long as you... as you need..."

Feeling like I've just been granted a stay of execution, I turn to go. Then I notice Kana's glasses still lying there on the floor. I crouch down and pick them up. They're nice - simple, but stylish. They suit Kana. She just surprised me when she came out wearing them, that's all.

I straighten up and place the glasses back on the counter. Kana's purse and keys are there as well, and the hard case for her glasses. There are also two smaller cases for contact lenses.

Why two? I wonder. Maybe her new set came in before she could cancel her prescription?

It's Kana's business, anyway, not mine. I take Kana's clothes and head downstairs.

29.

I'm waiting in the living room for Kana. Only the sounds of splashing water echo through the house, its gentle noise trying to comfort my shattered composure.

But I still feel like a baka...

So I just sit on the couch, waiting for Kana to announce my sentence.

"Ah... much better."

Kana walks into the living room, fully dressed, with a towel wrapping up her hair.

"Ano... I'm really sorry, Kana."

"Hehe... I know you are, Bro. But, I'm going to let you make it up to me."

Uh oh... this can't be good.

Kana continues. "First..."

First? Aw... crap.

"...do you mind telling me what happened?"

-gulp-

"Well...you see. Y-you went to the bathroom and you were doing something and then I went to get a drink and um... and um... you kinda surprised me and I don't really know why but... um-"

"What took you by surprise?"

"Well...your eyes- glasses. Your eyes, I mean glasses covering- I mean over your eyes and I didn't expect... to... to-"

"To spit all over me?" Kana suggests.

"I'm really sorry, Kana. I'm really sor-"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Kana?"

"I'm sorry, Bro. But I've never seen you so flustered before. And your face is pretty red too."

I cover my face in embarrassment. Kana let me run my mouth like that, making a fool of myself.

"Now we're almost even, Bro."

"Almost...?"

"Now... I'm going to let you treat me out."

I start to calm down at a reasonable request.

"Treat you, huh? Where to?"

"Let's see... I like ice cream, or maybe cake and kohi. Hmmmm... maybe..."

Kana looks in my direction.

"...maybe you should decide. You're treating me, after all."

"Ah... I see."

I ponder a few places in my mind.

I can take her to an ice cream parlor, that new Cheesecake Factory or maybe just some place with tons of desserts.

I make up my mind.

"Well, Kana...let's go to-"