Disclaimer: Yes, I own Naruto. I am unbelievably rich and despite this I have nothing better to do than to write stories mocking my own work... Actually, no. I lied. I bet you're all so sad that I dont really own Naruto. Dude... Get a life... Fanfiction. As in FANS.

Warning: May contain traces of nuts, dairy, insanity and bad fashion sense.

For just about the first time he could remember, Lee wasn't in the hospital because he had done something stupid. Like that time he used that forbidden justu and lost the fight anyway… or that other time when he hurt himself even more trying to train after injuring himself after using the forbidden jutsu…

"LEE!" Gai came running into the hospital room. Lee suspected that he had knocked several people over in the hall with his eagerness. He only hoped that none of the above were patients.

"LEE! I HEARD ABOUT YOU AND SAKURA!"

Had someone actually cared enough to be stalking Lee, they would probably have been able to see an extreme outburst coming on for some obscure reason, most likely followed by about 2500 times of punching some log in a forest somewhere. Not that even this hypothetical stalker would have been able to tell why this outburst would have occurred (assuming it did).

As it turned out, nobody cared enough to be stalking Lee. It was, however, a complete coincidence that someone came tearing into that room right at that very moment.

"Lee! I heard that you tried to hit on Sakura and that she attacked you and got you hospitalized. Is that right Lee? Is it? Is it? So anyway, I came to see you! Look, I brought COOKIES! Lee! Cookies!"

Naruto had arrived, and was consequently the only person in existence with a definite skill for making people feel worse than they already do.

Lee burst into tears. Not that anyone couldn't see that coming already. Naruto stood around awkwardly, wondering whether he should ask if he could sign one of Lee's numerous casts.

Lee realized that he was, in fact, in hospital because he had done something stupid. He would have gone Emo at this stage, if Sasuke didn't already pretty much have that refined to an art form.

"SO! Why are you here anyway, Naruto-kun?"

It was pretty apparent that Lee was sad, because he only used capitals once in his whole sentence.

Naruto stopped bouncing around the room like a monkey on steroids long enough to explain about blinding Kankuro. Lee and Gai didn't really seem all that worried. After all, they had a whole ward of the hospital just devoted to the patients blinded by the green spandex they wore.

…

"Kankuro."

"What?" His head turned to face the complete opposite direction to the speaker.

"Over here." By some miracle, Kankuro managed to chose the correct direction to turn in.

"Temari?"

"…" Gaara was speechless, "How the hell could you mistake me for a girl… And Temari at that?"

"Oh God! Erm… G-gaara-sama… uh…" Kankuro babbled, convinced he could sense Gaara's intent to kill just radiating from him. Gaara sighed. Being mortally terrifying was getting rather old and boring fast recently.

"How did you manage to get blinded by NARUTO of all people?"

"God, Gaara, have you ever seen his outfit!"

"… Actually, I quite liked it."

This time it was Kankuro's turn to sigh. Why were his siblings so dammed weird.

"Just to tell you," Gaara said, "I'm not here because I actually care or anything. Someone had to come, something about you being a foreign ninja or potential enemy or something... Besides, Temari told me to come, and she's just too scary to argue with." Kankuro decided that this was just Gaara's attempt to save face.

Kankuro did, however, agree on Temari's scaryness.

"The specialist said that your loss of vision should be temporary." Gaara continued.

"They know that so quickly?"

"Apparently. As I can gather, It happens here quite a lot." Gaara was just slightly annoyed that nobody seemed to agree with him about Naruto's outfit. He hated it when he was wrong.

A/N: Greetings, I'm still alive. Haven't been getting any flamers though. Disapointing really. Next chapter is a random odd bit that I dubbed an Interlude. Yup. All review and stuff and I'll post it. Otherwise I'll have to go and kick Sasuke off out of his Emo corner...