Shikon Private School™
Chapter Twenty-Three (23)
The Perplexing, Perpetuous, Play!
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It was the night of Open House for Shikon Private School.
It was pure chaos.
-Backstage while the Parents are Arriving, noises can be heard but no one knows who made them!-
"Hey, you idiot, get you stinkin' foot off my dress!"
"With such a beeeeeping low dress who wouldn't step on it?"
"I wouldn't!"
"Yeah, I mean, seriously, InuYasha, you must learn to be a lady's man!"
"Feh, you're one to talk, monk."
"Now what on earth are you talking about, InuYasha?"
"You know what I-"
WHACK!
"Disgusting creep..."
"-mean."
"Geeze Sango... how on earth do you do that? I mean, his ear! His ear! His ear! It's blue-no red, no EEEEK! Miroku's ears are purple!"
"Shut up."
"Oh yeah, and why should I, you canine?"
"Would you like to repeat that...?"
"Yes! Canine! C-A-N-I-N-E!"
"I am not a-"
"Oh, yes you are Fluffy!"
"Shut up... Amy."
"Why don't you? And FYI, if you can't even remember a cousin's-"
"You're not our cousin!"
"Oh yes I-"
"Shhhhhh! The parents are coming! Is everyone ready?"
"I would be if stupid Naraku didn't keep-"
"Shush!"
"Hmph!"
"Shhhhh... okay, everyone, get ready, get set, action!"
-While the students were busy arguing, the parents were arriving...-
Mister and Missus Taiyoukai arrived first; wanting to see Sesshomaru and InuYasha before the show started, Inu no Tasho forgetting that the open house invitation clearly stated in red ink at the bottom: NO MEETING THE STUDENTS UNTIL THE SHOW IS OVER.
"What do you mean I cannot see them?" he roared as Izayoi tried to calm him down; "They're my sons! Of course I should be able to see them before the beeeeeeeeeeping show starts!" Perci plugged in earplugs. "I'm the Lord of the Western Lands! This is a stupid little boarding school! I should be able to tear it down if I wanted to!" he continued to rage and rant as Perci skillfully pulled out a copy of the open house letter.
"Sir, Mister Ewu no Ten-shoe (One could have mistakened his face for a beet at that moment)... the letter here, clearly states that-"
"Parents are not to be allowed on the stage before the show is over," Onigumo said with silky menace as he passed by with another one of his undead wives, comfily seating himself at the front center. Inu no Taisho growled lowly; that man was such as nuisance! Perci sighed thankfully as Izayoi led the Demon Lord of the Western Lands to the back center. At least she had pronounced the name correctly; it would be giving her a headache for weeks to come!
A beautiful woman and a strong-looking man came next. They introduced themselves as the head of a demon-slaying village and Sango and Kohaku's parents. Perci, then, looked at the list of parents to students and saw that Onigumo had adopted Kagura, Kanna, Hakudoshi. Quite dirstubing, as he did not seem like the kind of person who would adopt anyone...
"Hello, we're Amanda-or you might call Akiko-'s parents!" a cheerful couple said as they stepped into the auditorium, Perci smiled weakly as she shook hands with the lady and asked politely for their invitation, remembering that she had forgotten to ask for everyone else's, oh well. The two made their way to where Inu no Taisho and Izayoi sat and shook hands warmly; signifying that they knew each other and soon began to chat about life and how it was in some distant land called 'America.'
"Hello! I'm Mrs. Higurashi and this is Souta and this is my father!" a smiling woman said as she shook hands with Perci and led the little boy to sit next to Amanda's parents. The old man trailed behind. Another old monk stepped out of the shadows as he shook hands with Perci, she recognized the distinct smell of saki. (wine, I think)
"Hello, there... my... name... Mushin... Miroku's caretaker..." he said sleepily as he sat up front at the farthest right seat. Perci quirked her eyebrow at this and snatched up the invitation that he dropped. She turned to face where the parents would be coming and saw... four wolves bounding towards her! They stopped abruptly just before they reached the doorway (much to poor Perci's relief) and turned into two couples, clothed in wolf fur: one couple had black hair; the other blood-red. Perci smiled warmly as she took their invitations and they inroduced themselves as Koga and Ayame's parents. Perci sighed as she massged her temples, anymore of this insanity and she would go insane herself! A beautifully dressed couple cloaked in silk garments with emerald-green eyes came next, they arrived on a golden fox and shook hands with them. They told her that they were Shippo's parents and how great of a school Shippo had told them it was. Perci's smile wavered: a great school? Insane, preposterous. They were insane; the school was insane!
All that was left was Kikyo and Kaede's parents. They had to arrive within five minutes, otherwise the school gates would be closing...
BAM!
BANG!
BOOM!
A spectacular of colorful light lit up the evening sky as a silver carriage flew softly, as if coming from the heavens. It was pulled gently by horses with wings; Perci's eyes widened: this was a world that should have been an amusement park... but everything... was as real...as real could be... A richly dressed man came out and you could tell he was of high social class by the way he proudly walked, his cane 'whumping' the ground soundly and with force. The way his strides were large, and arrogant, the way he looked at everything with contempt, covered by amusement in his dark eyes. Either that, or the fact that his cane was pure-gold.
The gates slammed shut as the man strode proudly into the auditorium, handing Perci his invitation along the way and proudly sitting next to Onigumo; the two gave one another a hearty pat-on-the-back and shook hands merrily.
The lights grew dim as Akiko's voice echoed throughout the auditorium.
"Welcome everyone, demons, humans, and half-breeds, to Shikon Private School's fourth annual Open House Night! Tonight, our students of all ages will be performing to you: a Feudal Faerie Tale written by Rumiko Takahashi! We thank you for coming and hope that you will see how great your child has improved at Shikon Private School!" she said loudly as the lights turned off completely and everyone clapped loudly.
"Once upon a long, long, long time ago, there was a halfbreed called InuYasha..."
The light was on InuYasha as he stepped drearily onto the stage and looked sorrowful.
"Who fell in love with a priestess called Kikyo..."
The light was shared by Kikyo, who was wearing her priestess outfit, they two of them held hands, (Kikyo longer that InuYasha)
"And they wanted nothing more but to live happily everly after... but, a halfbreed called Naraku was jealous and wanted Kikyo for himself."
Naraku stepped on the stage, curls of poison gas swirling around with him and he took the form of InuYasha.
"So, he disguised himself as InuYasha and hurt Kikyo..."
Naraku swiped his claws two inches away from Kikyo as she pretended to look shocked. Blood (actually, ketchup) spilled over her clothes.
"And thus, he tricked Kikyo into thinking that InuYasha had hurt her... and so, Kikyo wanted revenge..."
Kikyo sobs while hugging InuYasha and pushing him against a tree.
"So she pinned InuYasha to a tree... and died that very same day, taking the Shikon Jewel, the Jewel of Four souls, along with her to the grave."
Kikyo pins InuYasha to the tree and flames swirled around her as she dissapeared (using fox fire and fox illusion).
"But Naraku was furious!"
Naraku appears, scowling and clenches his fist at InuYasha. He mutters some unappripriate words and stomps on Kikyo's 'ashes.' InuYasha, who seems to have awakened again, bites Naraku's fist. Naraku screams. Loudly.
"ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"
"HEY YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU DARE SHAKE YOUR FIST AT ME!" InuYasha screamed at he clamped on Naraku's hand. The audience was silent. Dead silent.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOW DARE YOU, YOU IDIOTIC HALF-BREED!" Naraku howled angrily as he jumped up and down, shaking his fist. InuYasha finally let go.
"For your information, you're a half-breed as well!"
"Oh YEAH? Well, I'm not half as pathetic as YOU!"
"Uh-huh, sur-"
"YOU IDIOTS! GET BACK TO THE SCRIPT! SEE! THIS IS PEOPLR ACTUALLY REHEARSE!" Amanda screamed through the microphone as both InuYasha and Naraku jitterly got back up on their feet. Naraku made sure to tie InuYasha tight to the tree. The audience was attempting to process that new-found fact: the students had not prepared?
"And so..." Amanda said with an ominous clearing of her throat, "Naraku, the jealous demon went into hiding out of spite and rage, swearing that he would find and take the Shikon Jewel someday."
Naraku walks away, raging and ranting (for real!) and thwacking InuYasha repeatedly in the head with boulders.
"And so... InuYasha came to sleep for many a year..." the audience stared wide-eyed at InuYasha: he was foaming at the mouth with swirly circles in his eyes... shyeah... asleep... "Until one day... a girl named Kagome fell through a magickal well..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (Kagome tumbles out from the ceiling!) she brushes herself off and looks at InuYasha queerly.
"Seeing the sleeping half-breed's adorable ears... what else can she do but tweak them?"
(tweak tweak tweak tweak tweak) "Awwwwwwwww... they're sooooooo soft!" Kagome exclaims as she continues to tweak the ears.
"Until, suddenly! The half-breed reawakens!"
"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY EARS, BEEEEEEP!" InuYasha screamed as he woke up.
"OH YEAH! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT! YOUR EARS DIRTIED MY HANDS!" Kagome replied back.
"And. They. Discovered. That Kagome was Kikyo's reincarnation." Amanda said in a dangerous drawl.
"So... why'd you shoot me Kikyo?" InuYasha asked stupidly.
"Kikyo? KIKYO! I'm NOT KIKYO! I'm KAGOME! KA-GO-ME!" Kagome screamed in the half-breed's face.
"Okay, fine... so, KAGOME... you know anyone called Naraku?" InuYasha said casually.
"No, I've never even heard of-"
"YAHHHHHHHHH!" Kagome screamed as InuYasha quickly carried her to safety. A big centipede monster slithered onstage, attempting to devour Kagome.
"Shikon... no... Tama... I need the Shikon Jewel!" the centipede lady screamed in a voice that seemed suspiciously similiar to Kaede's.
"Well, you know what? I don't even- hey WAIT! Kagome, you have the Shikon no Tama!" InuYasha exclaimed as Kagome was tossed against a wall/tree. A clear, perfectly circular jewel tumbles to the ground.
"Yessssss... it is mine at last!" the centipede-monster said while happily slithering toward the jewel. InuYasha 'bops' it to outer space (Actually, he just broke the auditorium roof)
"Yah-hoo! the Shikon Jewel is MINE! ALL MINE!" InuYasha said triumphantly as he snatched up the jewel. Kagome snatched it back.
"Hiya! I'm just an innocent travelling monk who is not disgusting in any way and I want to kill Naraku!" Miroku said cheerily.
"Hey, us too! Why don't we team-" Kagome never finished her sentence because of her screaming and jumping into InuYasha's arms.
"Y-y-you disgusting---!"
"Hello, greetings, my name is Miroku and I mean no harm, I merely wish to travel with you two on my quest to find Naraku!" miroku said cheerfully.
"Well no way in beeeeeeeeeep are you-"
"Sure why not?"
"Oh, and here is my 'pet!'" Miroku said with a laugh as he held out Shippo, wailing and screaming. InujYasha smirked; he had waited two years for that scene.
"Oh yeah?" Shippo said as he was hurtled into Kagome's arms by a demon cat. A tough-looking girl landed neatly on the ground, taking off her air mask.
"Hello, I'm Sango, I just (sobs) escaped from my demon-slayer village... that was (sniffles) destroyed! I need revenge on InuYasha!"
"WHA! ME!"
"You! You destroyed MY VILLAGE! DIE DEMON!" Sango said while repeatedly banging InuYasha with a cardboard boomerang.
"It wasn't him! It was Naraku! We're all chasing after him, would you like to accompany us, lovely lady?" Miroku piped up as InuYasha got an anger vein popping.
"Well, (blushes) when you put it that way, certainly! Now I remember... it was Naraku! He wore a baboon pelt, correct?" Sango asked as she recalled who slaughtered her village, the monkey-person who called himself InuYasha.
"Really? See, that ugly freak is the cause of ALL TROUBLE!" InuYasha exclaimed, slamming his sword into the ground. "Well, since you can fight... I guess you can come along, after all, we need all the firepower we can get!"
"POOF! Hiya, name's Shippo! I'm an orphan... I have no home... I am a fox demon... I have no home... I'm sooooooo sad... hey! Will you be my mommy?" he asked brightly as he looked at where he thought Kagome was-wrong: InuYasha was there.
"Ooops, I mean," Shippo quikly turned around to Kagome, "I don't want such an ugly creature being MY Mommy, I want you to be my mommy!" he exclaimed happily as he leapt into her arms, missing InuYasha's fist by a mere millimeter!
"Awwwwwww... you're soooooo cute, Shippo!" Kagome said lovingly, "Of course!"
"And they grew from two, to three, to four, to five and six... until disaster stuck once more!"Amanda said evilly.
"Out of the blue came a bird, a beast of terror sent by Naraku out of hate and jealousy, to destroy them! To smite them all!"
A bird that looked like a mass of rumpled feathers plopped down soundly next to Kagome.
"Cawwwwww, Cawwwwww, I'll take 'n break yer Shikon Jewel now!" it said shrillily in a voice that sounded somewhat like Rin's voice. The bird dived down, and broke the Jewel of Shikon into countless little pieces! InuYasha instantly 'clawed' the bird in half with his talons (Actually, Rin just ran into a stage hole, leaving only the mass of rumpled feathers).
"Hah! No one beats ME and gets AWAY WITH IT!" InuYasha said triumphantly as he stomped on the mass of feathers happily. Everyone sweatdropped at what he had just said, "Uhhhh... wait! That didn't come out right!"
"NOOOOOO! The pretty-ful ball of Shikon got smashed!" Kagome wailed sarcastically as Shippo poured a bucket of water over her, as tears.
"You shouldn't be worrying about that petty glass object, as I, Sesshomaru, will kill you all off now," Sesshomaru said flatly as he swiped at everyone; everyone ducked, thankfully. InuYasha ran at the older demon.
"You beeeeeeeeeping brother! Stay out of my life!" he screamed as he slashed at him.
Sesshomaru made no response other than swiftly kicking InuYasha in the face.
"ARRRRRRRGH! Now I've had it with you-Blades of Blood!" InuYasha screamed as he sent discuses of blood hurtling at the full demon. Sesshomaru, knowing this was time for his exit, hopped on one of the discs and 'blasted' out of the auditorium! (To infinite and beyond! LOL... I'm insane)
"Yesss!" InuYasha cheered as Kagome and everyone else clapped. Sarcastically.
"I beat Fluffy! I beat Fluffy! I beat Fluffyyyyyy!" he screamed out loud as he continued to chant some random speech.
"But, the little war band's troubles had only just begun... eeing as how Naraku... was coming..." Amanda said ominously as the lights flickered on once more: it was intermission time!
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Note from Authoress: Sorry for not updating for a long time... I feel so guilty... sobs...