Merely the Brutal Truth
Chapter Five
Authors note
:ducks from thrown objects:
i know i'm really really late with this,
but school has been so hectic and my muse ran away.
i think he's back but i'm not sure how good this is so you'll have to review and tell me!
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Brutal Truth XX: The PLAN is not working to plan.
Katie is not falling head over heels in love with me.
It's not cool.
Not cool at all precious.
I'm talking like Gollum.
With lots of full stops.
I sound like an idiot.
And I need some jelly beans.
Brutal Truth XXI: Alicia is an Angel
I mean it. I love her. She brought me jelly beans. The first bag of jellybeans I have seen in two weeks. They are muggle but that's better than nothing. I will no longer be living on red jelly, after-dinner mints and sprinkles. I have jelly beans!
The jelly beans are the fruity ones, I love the fruity ones. Especially the pink strawberry flavoured ones. They remind me a little of the summer break when Kates bought that strawberry scented shampoo. I really did smell nice so I nicked it. it doesn't taste as good as it smells though. I got some in my mouth and its really disgusting, like eating shampoo or something.
Which when you think about-was what I was doing anyway.
Never-the-less I would stick to jelly beans any day. Bless Alicia and her Gryffindor quidditch team socks.
Just a moment-
She bribed me! She didn't want to have practise. That dirty little scoundrel. She's going to suffer tomorrow. We're having TWO practises!
You know I think Professor McGonagall might be right. Jelly beans do have something funny going for them; Everything is going blue.
This isn't normal.
"Weasley's!"
Brutal Truth XXII: I am not a happy badger.
I have no idea what those damned twins put in those jelly beans but they knocked me out for a good three hours. By which stage it was far too dark to have practise. That meant that I had to hold two practises today. But it was good it irked Davies off no end since I had booked the pitch out just before he got there. Plus I got to spend four hours watching Katie fly around. I've been thinking that I might have to hunt Cedric Diggory down. He seems to have no trouble getting girls to fall in love with him. It's a desperate measure but I'm running out of ideas. I've still been shaving every single day and its killing my face. you have NO idea how cold it can get when your flying at dawn. Not to mention the bloody wind rash. It's not too bad though. I borrowed some of Alicia's moisturiser so you can't see it.
But still, I miss my whiskers.
Kates is worth it though, I think if I had too I'd even give up jellybeans for her.
Brutal Truth XXIII: My team will win the cup this year.
Practise was good. Harry beat his personal best, only thirty-four and a half seconds for him to catch the snitch. I only let one goal through. And that was Katie's. I only have that problem concentrating on quidditch with her around though; so I don't think it'll be a problem during the game. McGonagall said that she would buy me a lifetime's supply of Jelly beans if we win every game against Slytherin this year. Which honestly I was planning on doing anyway, along with Ravenclaw. And I suppose hufflepuff too since we couldn't lose to them if we tried. Diggory is such a terrible captain.
I swear if I ever lose to Hufflepuff I think I'll drown myself.
Either way we will have the cup this year because I am a great captain and my team is the best.
Brutal Truth XXIV: And another thing…
I'm going to go out with Katie sometime soon too.
Brutal Truth XXV: The Twins have problems…. VERY BIG problems!
They are back to their mission to get into the girls dorms again. They just spent the whole afternoon trying. I had been designing plays, real works of art they are too, in the Botticelli, Da Vinci, Monet, Raphael category.
But I'm getting off topic. So there I was play book in hand, spare pencil behind my ear. Thinking hard.
And out of nowhere come the redhead hookers again. This time though they didn't stay in character. Talking normally about how laden with treasures the girls dorm must be, the weasleys dashed up the staircase.
Aaaa-nd slid back down. Apparently it has some more intelligent way of telling that they are… well I think… boys.
They detangled themselves. Out of nowhere they got in character and started with the "o Oliver" drawly voice thing again.
It gets scarier every time.
Unfortunately Angelina didn't turn up to stop them this time so I was stuck with them. They giggled -far too much- and, I think it was Fred, tried to wiggle his hips seductively, which was more funny than anything else. They continued in this fashion up the stair case but again it didn't work. They got about halfway up and were sent straight to the bottom. Fred stood up first and shrugged.
"We didn't actually have much faith in that plan anyway" George announced, pulling off his skirt and rubbing the make-up off his face with it. thankfully he was wearing underwear. I don't think I could handle him a hooker AND naked all in one day. Fred followed suit.
"Which only leaves one other ploy"
"a sex change?" I asked drolly.
"of course not" George said.
"Too expensive, and besides we'd be stuck like that"
"And then there really wouldn't be much point of getting into the girls dormitories anyway now would there?" George finished. I can't help thinking that the whole conversation was one sentence that they just decided to share evenly.
"Well what is it then?"
Fred tapped his nose. Then George tapped freds nose. I'm not sure what it accomplished but then with the twins I never do.
"That"
"Our friend"
"Would be"
"Telling"
They were doing it again, the one sentence divided up thing. It really is kind of annoying
Brutal Truth XXVI: The twins are a hopeless cause.
The Weasley's last plan to break the security of the girls dormitories was to be carried up there by a girl. Pretty lame considering some of the far-fetched plans that Fred and George have concocted over the years trying to have practise cancelled. This failed too. One of the seventh year girls, Jessica tried to piggy back George up the stairs and they both ended up in a tangled mess on the floor. I think the twins must be as cursed in love as I am because Alicia walked in then and pulled the most hurt face I have ever seen her pull. She stood there for a moment slightly dumbstruck, then nodded calculatedly before she stormed out again. George looked to Fred with a manically panicked look and they chased after her. Leaving the obliging Jessica sprawled on the floor. Ever the nice guy I helped her up and told her not to worry, that my entire quidditch team is crazy and she doesn't need George Weasley anyway.
I feel kinda sorry for her though, she's really nice, and she's in the same boat as me. The SS my crush has just run off with somebody else.
At least she has hair in the right places for her gender.
I want my stubble back
Brutal Truth XXVII: Oliver's back in the game!
"Hey Obbila?" Katie asked me after practise today.
"Aye, that'd be me Puddleduck"
She grinned at the nickname and stroked my jawline, "Why have you been shaving so often lately? You look better with stubble"
"Uh…heh…" I laughed nervously, not entirely sure what to say. Luckily my usual quick wit and stunning vocabulary came into play for once.
"I thought you like the whole metro look better? I mean you're dating Davies aren't you" I asked, somehow pulling off a casual, confident and collected Oliver that I didn't feel.
"Not anymore" Katie laughed, "we really aren't that suited Obbila, I mean he's cute and all but we have nothing except quidditch in common and while I like it an all that's not a good enough reason to date someone is it."
"No I guess not"
"So what about Gemma?"
I ran a hand through my hair embarrassedly, "I made her up"
Katie rose her eyebrow at me. "What?" she was grinning ridiculously.
"Ange was paying me out and then she started assuming that I had a girlfriend and that it was Gemma and I never really set her straight"
"oh Oliver" Kates laughed. "You are such a dag"
She kissed me on the cheek, and grinned, "But I wouldn't want you any different"
Still giggling slightly, Katie wandered out of the change room.
My cheek is still tingling.
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AN: Please review! and thankyou for sticking by me when i've been so terrible at updating regularly!
i love you all...