Rich just weakly laughed and walked pass the dead bodies. He caught the glimpse of a man at a stand selling churros. Rich liked the brown people's treat that he has had once when he was a small Asian child. The memories flooded through his mind like a bathroom toilet after Oprah used it. Rich skipped over to the churro stand with a large smile while waving.

Rich shouted out, "Ahoy-hoy Miguel. I'll take eighteen churros please."

The brown man responded, "Sure, and the name is Chuck."

"Well, Chuck. Shut the fuck up and give me my brown sugar sticks!"

"There is no need for name calling," Chuck grumbled as he handed him the churros.

Rich took a bite of one and suddenly he started to gasp for air as he fell to the ground. The brown man chuckled as he shook the churros in Rich's beautiful face. The shaking churros covered Rich in sugar and cinnamon, making him into a human churro.

"My friend, you will make me the most pesos when I sell you to Mistress Oprah," Chuck chuckled as he licked a large brown churro.

Was this the delicious end of Rich and his sexy journey? Of course not, even though it would be a good way to die in a sugar, cinnamon covered death.

Suddenly a figure appeared in the distance. Her long flowing black hair blew in the gentle summer breeze. Chuck looked up in amazement.

"My, what a beautiful senora! You must become my bean dip for my love chip," the horny Gonzales said as he put a churro in his mouth and bit off the tip.

"I'm not a woman! Even though I am more beautiful than any woman. Ho, ho, ho!" Chris laughed as he placed his hand over his mouth.

"But what can you do, Mi amor? You are too beautiful to hit, so I will just tap it," Chuck said in a dirty voice while rubbing a churro against his nipple.

"No, no you must not soil my beautiful body with you working class hands." Chris shook his finger naughtily.

In an instant the churro dipper flew at Chris knocking him off his feet, pinning him down to the ground. Chris was caught off guard, and didn't know what to do. He was no match over the horny mans strength. All the grape picking gave him super brown sugar strength. Chris closed his eyes and though of all the manga that he had not yet read. A single tear fell from his eye.

Chris couldn't let it end this way as he thought, not in the hands of a little brown man.

A loud moo could be heard in the distance as Leche flew to the rescue.

"Shout out, Flaming Mars POWER! TOASTY!" Leche yelled.

"I am not yelling that out, I'd rather die!" Chris smirked.

Only to see the horny look on the face of brown churro Chuck.

"Flaming Mars POWER! TOASTY!" Chris screamed out.

Flames started to engulf Chris' body. He stood in front of a hot Cheeto bag and with a wink and a flick of the hair he was transformed.

"I am the sexy soldier of passion, Sexy Mars! Prepare to feel the burn!"

Chuck only laughed and came at Mars with his Nun-Churro-Chucks. Mars whipped his hair out for a fiery hair whiplash attack, but the churro-chucks blocked the attack. Chris was running out of ideas. Leche told Chris to believe in the flaming ways.

Chris nodded and shouted, "It's Getting, Hot, Hot, HOT!" Magical maracas appeared in his hand and with each shake fireballs flew smashing into Chuck and his churro cart. Chuck screamed and was burned into a crisp, leaving only his burnt churro chucks behind. Chris ran over to churro covered Rich.

"Hi, Rich! Are you okay?" Chris said with a smile.

"The hell? I was having such sweet diabetic dreams, why'd you wake me?" Rich grunted.

Rich: Oprah's wedding is now only a few more months away, and she will marry Bill Gates soon. The apocalypse is now approaching, but will the Sexy Soldiers be able to stop her? Or will I be too lazy to type more stories? What will come first?

Find out next time on Sexy Soldiers!