It's been a few days since Rich started working at Madam Conchitas Fortune and Etc. It turns out that you didn't need any special powers to make money in this business. The only thing you needed were people dumb enough to pay for fortunes that got pulled out of a giant black woman's ass, and the blacker with a thicker accent the better.
"I have to make some lemonade, I'll be back in a minute!" Rich told Chris.
Rich had been working all day and had to pee so bad, if he held it any longer he would of burst into golden showers for all to enjoy. Since he didn't like giving showers away for free he decided to use the can. Rich ran in and kicked open the stall door. A giant scream rang out for the stall.
"How dare you coming crashing in!" Leche hissed out.
"Huh? When did cows start using toilets? Don't you just take a dump on the ground?" Rich asked puzzled.
"Who do you think I am? I am a civilized cow.. Plus I got a ticket last time I did that out in public." Leche blushed as he spoke.
"Why would you get a ticket? You are a cow and cows crap on the ground, then people use that crap in the their vegetable gardens," replied Rich.
Leche explained his adventure. "Well, I was in line at KFC when I suddenly burst and made a little accident. I swear I didnt do it on purpose. It must have been that restaurant I went to earlier.. What was it called again? Thuc's Noodle Shack Attack I think it was, and boy was it an attack. It was like a mudslide and no one survived. Luckily I wasn't charged with manslaughter because only black people died and a few Mexicans. The white manager managed to ride a brown person to safety."
Rich's face turned bright red. "Did you say Thuc's Noodle Shack Attack? I ate there for lunch!Oh, no I don't feel so sexy..."
Rich jumped into the stall with Leche and slammed the door closed. Only the screams of Leche could be heard.
'Hmmm, I guess Rich ate at that new noodle shop I recommended,' Chris laughed to himself as he brushed his hair and read his manga on magical hair brushing girls.
"Um, excuse me? Ive been waiting for my fortune for over an hour. When are you going to tell my fortune?" A large chocolate woman angrily yelled at Chris.
"Who let you in! I predict you will be arrested!" Chris said.
"What child? Na, uh you can't prove I stabbed that white woman behind Church's Chicken, so you got nothing on me," Chocolate woman snapped back.
"Or Can I?" Chris sneered back.
Chris pulled out some pepper spray and shot her right in the face. To his astonishment it had no effect.
"Do you know who I am little girl? I am THE OPRAH!" She bellowed out.
The room shook as Oprah laughed and slapped her belly.
"So you are the ones who have been trying to stop my wedding. You will never succeed as I will make the world mine. I'll let you live for now to entertain me." She exploded into a pile of chocolate pudding, and was gone in an instant. Rich came into the room to see all of the pudding all over the walls and ceiling. He turned red again and went running back into the restroom.
"Where is a Mexican to clean when you need them?" Chris sighed as he sat there covered in Oprah's cocoa love sauce.
A figure in a school uniform walked down a small alley between the fortune shop.
"I cant be late again or mama's gonna beat me like she does daddy. I guess I'll take this shortcut for today," the guy said to himself.
It was getting dark now and he tried to hurry home. He was getting a little scared from not really knowing the area well. He had to stay after school and retake an oral test he had missed. The oral test took far longer and was much, much, much harder than he would ever thought it would have ever been, but he took it like a trooper.
"I can't believe I took it like that and was still able to walk after," he continued.
He started to smile and continued walking through the alley. Some rustling came from behind the dumpster. Suddenly someone jumped out.
"HI! I'm Graham! YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS? WHAT'S YOUR NAME!"
Ummits Davy Davy weakling said before he screamed and ran off into the distance.
Sam just scratched his head and skipped off to look for more friends. He smiled at a cat walking by and it exploded in an instant. Sam looked down and walked onwards.
"I can't believe I just saw a white person. Mama was right, those people are scary and not very pretty looking," Davy thought to himself and he started to make a dash for home.
Running he crashed into someone. Davy slowly looked up to see an Asian guy dressed in black holding a giant whip with a big smile on his face. Davy couldn't move a muscle, except the one in his pants.
"Ho, ho, ho, what do we have here? A new toy for me to play with?" the guy chuckled.
"Umm, yes," Davy replied quietly.
"My, aren't we eager? I guess I will play for a bit then." The guy started to unbutton his clothes while he licked his lips.
Davy was still frozen on the ground watching in awe.
"HOLD IT!"
A voice shouted from the fire escape from above.
"I won't allow you to take the pure hearts of innocent little horny boys!" Sexy Moon shouted as he shook his finger at the black clothed figure. Chris sat in the backround, reading a manga.
"I'm just here cause I didn't feel like going home yet," replied Chris.
"Why didn't you transform? We must save that innocent untouched school boy!" Moon questioned.
"I think you can handle it, I'll help out later if I feel like it," Chris said as he brushed his hair and looked into his mirror.
"Perfection is such a burden" Chris giggled as he looked in his hand mirror.
What will become of Davy? Who is the Asian dude with the whip? Will Chris get off his fat ass? Next time on Sexy Soldiers!
"Chilly Willies!"