So, I finally get the Holiday chapter up. I know, its way past Christmashanakwanzaka, but hey lets have a little post-Holiday cheer! ALL sugestions are here; and I'm too lazy to number them. Shoot me. First four are mine ;D
// Dress up in a slutty Mrs. Clause outfit and walk around singing "I saw Ozai kissing Mrs. Claus, in back of his overprotective child last night!" whenever she's around.
// Pretend Azula is the Santa Claus in the mall.
(In the authors crazy mind:
Me: - sits on lab-
Azula: Um...
Me: I want a Prince Zuko for Christmas Santa! – Tugs on imaginary beard and hugs-
Azula: Um…)
// Say that the only way to capture the Avatar is through Christmas spirit!
//Insist that you want to see the real Santa. Make her go to the North Pole and freezzzeee.
- defend it a.k.a the author of this very, very long list…
//Drag her into the real world and make her work as one of Santa's mall elves. When she demands to know why she's working as an elf calmly
explain that since she already had the shoes you figured she'd love the job.
//Dress Azula up as Santa and stick her in a mall- after a few hours when she's had about 30 or so kids pee on her and leave their candy canes in her beard, tell her she's fired as Santa for not being jolly enough but since she has the shoes she's welcome to become an elf.
//Go up to her and say really calmly: "I heard you're on the naughty list- sucks to be you."
//Get carolers with fire proof outfits to come to her ship and sing. I
suggest the "under rehearsed reluctant children's choir" from Conan
O'Brien.
//Force her to do a one woman production of "How the Grinch Stole
Christmas."
// Force her to read "How the Psychopath Stole Christmas."
// Force her to do the one woman re- enactment of the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King for Winter Solstice.
// Tell her it's her job to make up the ritual for Winter Solstice never
mind that she only has one day to do it.
// You can start singing "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch" whenever she's in a room.
// Take Azula to your office holiday party and get her drunk, take a
picture of her leaning against someone or something. Then when she passes out make up a fake marriage liscense with her name and Sokka's on it. Convince her that she is now Mrs. Sokka Water Tribe when she wakes up.
// Find Sokka and adjust him in front of a large Christmas tree or a fully lit Menorah then snap a picture with your digital camera load
it. Then take the picture of Azula from your office party. Use Photoshop and edit the pictures so they look like a holiday card, add a caption such as: Happy Holidays and a happy New Year love Sokka and Azula and mail it out to EVERYONE. (This actually goes with the above suggestion and annoys both Azula and Sokka!)
// Print out this story, get it bound and published to make it look
professional and give it to Azula as a Christmas present.
// Whenever you see Azula belt out parodies of Christmas Carols such as:
"We wish you weren't living with us" and "Azula got run over by a reindeer."(I should write that song now)
// If you sing "Azula Got Run over by a Reindeer" (writing that song
tomorrow while my daughter is napping!), ask her what it was like being run over by a giant sleigh being driven by reindeer carrying a shedload of presents and a fat guy.
// Get together a few friends (or the GAang) and dress up as Jacob Marley and the Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present and Future then go on her ship and re enact "A Christmas Carol" without telling her that she's playing the part of Scrooge.
// Continuously ring a bell in her presence, when she asks why simply tell her: Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings
(It's a Wonderful Life reference)
// Run up to her yelling, I don't want to die! I want to live! I want to
live! I want to live! I want to live! If she gives you a chance to
explain why you're yelling, explain that you were in financial ruin and going to jump off a bridge, but then your guardian angel saved your life (Yet another It's a Wonderful Life reference)
// Trap her in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", chances are she will go insane (But damn I love that movie)
// Trap her in the live action "How the Grinch Stole Christmas Movie", have her play the part of the Grinch (Who else?) Keel over with laughter when she ends up as Fudge Judge and has to wear a dorky sweater.
// Have Azula replace Rudolf on Santa's sleigh then make her use her
bending to guide it.
// Tell Azula that you hope Santa is getting her new clothes and shoes for Christmas then say: 'oops nevermind I forgot you're on the BAD LIST!' then run off laughing.
- Chibi Horsewoman
// Make her listen to the radio 24/7 from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas. Why? Because the endless stream of Christmas music (with the occasional Adam Sandler Chanukah Song) is enough to make anybody go insane.
- The Lady Empress
// Dress up as Santa and tell her she's been a bad girl and is getting
coal for the rest of her life. Proceed to dump a gaint bag of coal on her head. Then sneak away before she can get out.
- Gir The Insane Flamin Ninja
// Tell her that you have photos of last years Christmas party when she is mad at you. (I'll leave people to their imagination.)
// Run around the ship screaming, "She believes in Santa!" Let the
crew laugh to their deaths, and Azula will be stranded with you, so use a life boat and sail away! (most people my age don't believe in Santa,
and her being 15, she won't get a kick about it)
- danyan
// Give her cloves of garlic and a wooden stake for Christmas. Then the
next time you see her, ask why she's not a pile of ashes yet.
- windlily
// Tell Azula she's not getting anything for Christmas. Not even coal,
because then she could firebend with it.
//Tell her she's being stalked by a man in a red suit. Then start sing
the one part of 'Santa Claus is coming to town' "He see's you when your
sleeping...He knows when your awake..."
- Celestial Secrets
// Stuff her under the mistle toe with every guy she's not related to
repeatedly, then shove her with King Bumi, and tell her there's a mistle toe over her head when there isn't, and then take pictures of her making out with King Bumi.
- Black Wolf Jaganshi Lover
// Get Azula a book entitled "How to Capture The Avatar for Dummies".
// Force her to watch Zuko and someone (Mai or Katara, whatever you ship) make out under the mistletoe.
// Lose her in the pile of wrapping paper.
- Legacy of the Avatar
//Tell her, her present is in the very back behind the tree and when she
bends over to try and reach back there, kick her...
//Sing an altered version of the x-mas carol "Mary did you know" only it's now "Azula did you know" and after you finish, give her a dirty look and say "I suggest you don't have any kids if you value your meanness"
//Announce that the first one to find the pickle ornament on the tree
wins a prize, and when she finds it and brings it to you shake your head and tell her that it's not the pickle, it's your Seasick Iroh ornament.
//Force her to sit through the movie Elf and afterwards, every time she
sits down hiss "You sit on a throne of LIES!"
- LuckiiBeckii
// Tell Azula about Santa Clause. Tell her she won't get anything but
coal for Christmas.
-Nena Firewind
// Get a group of horrible singers to sing carols (must include "Frosty
the snow man")
- TeenAnimeOtaku
// Put Azula under the mistltoe with some ugly ape-mutant thingie! Or, tell her that the "star" at the top of the Christmas tree is her and dress her up in a star suit and have her stand on the tipy-top of the tree for ALL of December! HEY!! IT'S HOLIDAY
SPIRIT!
- C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only
// Put coal in Azula's stocking. Then walk up to her on Christmas morning and ask in a fakely sympathetic voice, "Did someone get on the 'naughty list' this year?"
// Imply all the sick things she could have done to get on the naughty
list. (Anything with Zuko, Ozai, Zhao, Bumi, or Momo will work)
- riderchar
// Make Azula lightening bend the lights on the tree on, then give her
eggnog (but don't tell her you spiked it with rum!)
// After she passes out from excessive alcohol, take her flame/crown/hairband thing-a-ma-bobber and use it as a star on the Christmas tree.
// Tell her she's a Grinch. Start sobbing that Christmas is supposed to be about Baby Jesus, and that she's too materialistic. Then give her, her present. Her present is a blow-up Aang.
- The Poisoned Doughnut Of DOOM
//Put a life size Santa Claus on the deck of her ship and write in
permanent marker (on him) "IM WITH STUPID!" with an arrow pointing to his left. Make Azula is standing at his left side when you take digital pics to post on the internet.
//Make the santa flame-proof (so she can't burn it), with a lead weight
on the bottom (so she cant toss it overboard) and with a speaker that
blasts the songs (choose one) "I'm an Ugly Girl", "Sexy Back", "Weasel
Stomping Day (by Weird Al)", "White 'n' Nerdy" (a parody of "Ridin Dirty" by Weird Al)" or any other relatively annoying song EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR. Ooh, or any songs from the extremely strange band, They Might Be Giants.
//Oh, and make sure Santa puts nothing but flowery things, stuffed
animals, and fluffy puppies down her stocking instead of the hand grenades and nuclear weapons that se asked for.
- ROBOTS ARE YOUR FRIENDS
// Tell her merry Christmas every five minutes. When she tells you to shut up, gasp loudly and exclaim that nobody who hates baby Jesus can become the Fire Lady.
// When she asks who Jesus is, gasp even more loudly, grab her shoulders, shake her, and yell 'The power of Christ compels you!' over and over.
// When she attempts to torch you, just stand there. When asks why you
are okay, tell her the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and King Nebuchunezzer. (I have NO clue how to spell his name)
// When she asks what that has to do with anything, tell her that she is a lowly heathen sinner, and that the Fire Nation will fall if she
becomes the Fire Lady.
// When she tries to torch you (AGAIN), tell her that she will no doubt
feel at home in Sheol. (Or Hell, or Tartarus, or Hades; your choice)
// Than proceed to film her exploding from all the confusing religious
references. Than convince Jesus to resurrect her. Lather, rinse, and
repeat. (I am SO evil)
- EvilFuzzy9
// Hold a Christmas party and encourage everyone to sing "Wreck the
Walls" instead of "Deck the Halls." Proceed to destroy all the walls,
especially the one that Azula passes regularly.
// Get some type of bird to fly above Azula carrying mistletoe. If she attempts to attack the bird, have the bird fly away and lure her
towards a random person, still carrying the mistletoe. When Azula meets this person, point to the mistletoe and say she has to kiss them.
// Don't get Azula any presents. Don't get her coal, either. Get her a
piece of paper with the word coal written on it. Give her a card that
says she was lucky to even get the paper. Leave the paper and card
in front of her bedroom door early in the morning before she wakes up and board the next ship to someplace far away until Azula finally stops
rampaging in anger.
// Tell Azula that in order to become Fire Lady, she must follow her
family's Christmas tradition of wearing frilly pink and white dresses,
drinking only tea, giving each family member a hug, and giving everything she owns to random people to show generosity.
// Bring in a very large present and when Azula asks what it is, say
that it's either the captured avatar or her personalized Fire Lady throne. When she opens it, she will be suprised to find that it is a band that sings insulting songs about her. When she turns and glares at you, say, "Oops! I thought I ordered a throne!"
// Hide all of the decorations, and when Azula asks where they are, say
that Christmas is tomorrow, not today. When she asks tomorrow, say that
Christmas was yesterday and she missed it.
- Rivendella
// Borrow the mistltoe hat from Tucker in Danny Phantom and give it to
either Sokka or Aang. Whenever Azula fights them, make them stand next to her, point to the hat, and say, "Look who's under the mistletoe!" Make kissy noises.
// For Christmas, give the the Avatar book series (nothing to do with the show, besides the Avatars). Have a camera ready for when she opens it. Rescue the book whens she starts to burn it. (Great series!)
- Strix Moonwing
// Make Azula think she is Rudolph the red nose reindeer. After you do
that, make her think your Santa. Then tell her that the only way she can save Christmas, is to jump into the ocean, while shooting lightning. After she does that, watch her fry.
- Anime-StarWars-fan-zach
// Let Azula put the star/angel on top of the Christmas tree. When she is on the ladder, knock it down.
// Give her a new invention called "Fire-proof coal." Watch her go
ballistic.
// Ask her, "Santa's coming, have you been a nice girl?"
// Invite her to a gathering of some OC's. When she asks, "Where's the
Christmas tree?" Tell her, "Silly girl, we're celebrating Kwanza/Chanukah."
- REfreak
// Force her to listen to some out of tune carolers.
- smartcheer917
// Give Azula a ton of spiked eggnog to drink so she'll pass out and wake up with a killer hangover.
// Once she wakes up, have Iroh come around and "sing" (if you can call
it singing) christmas carols to her as loud as possible.
// Once she tries to kill him, hit her on the head with Sokka's
boomerang. The pain will be unbearable.
// Look at her shoes and then at her face. Repeat. Then say: "Aren't you supposed to be at the North Pole?" or..."I though elves were cuter."
// Hop on her back and yell, "MUSH!" make sure to kick her in the sides
VERY hard.
- Celestial Secrets
Sorry of the editing is weird, again my lazy ass dont wanna do nothin. I so have winter-itis. THANK YOU to all the reviwers in italics who gave me suggestions!!