Disclaimer: The stars have yet to grant my wishes so is all I own is the plot!

Author's note: 'Ello loves. Here is chapter fifteen. It will most likely be the Hermione and Draco Christmas although that won't be very much… I don't know. We'll see when I'm done.

Previously: "Well, hello," she smiled at the owl. It looked familiar to her… too familiar. Taking its letter with haste, she sat down right where she was.

Chapter Fifteen

Kayla tapped her. She jumped away, stricken with fear. "Whoa, I'm sorry. Draco's looking for you. He's on the grounds right now searching. He'll be checking the common rooms in about fifteen minutes and was hoping you'd wait for him. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure, okay." She stood and trudged to her dormitory. Her body had fallen directly onto her bed. She laid her eyes upon the pile of presents she was waiting to open. Christmas had so suddenly become a black and white holiday, a surreal moment in a fast-paced world. Time paused and tilted off balance, able to be clearly seen. It held focus.

"Hey!" Draco pounced into the room. "Been looking for you!"

"Yeah, I heard."

"So, I was hoping you'd open the present I got you and then we could spend the rest of the day together… even if it's just laying peacefully by the fire." Hermione nodded at his suggestion. "Okay, well, here." He pulled a long black box from his pocket.

"Did you already open what I got for you?"

"Yeah… Ginny made me. I love it."

"I hoped so. Invisibility cloaks come in handy when you hang out with me."

"I bet! Anyways, open it." She did as he said.

Her smile couldn't help but manifest. It was a beautiful, pure gold, infinity bracelet.

"I'll love you forever," he said. She laughed at the undying idea. It was a small, unfocused laugh.

He clipped the bracelet onto her left wrist before leading her into the empty common room. Their friends were out celebrating Christmas while some sixth and seventh years enjoyed the snowy Hogsmeade. Draco stretched out on the couch and pulled Hermione against him. She felt distant, like a stranger. Her body was its usual cold but now it felt unwelcoming or unnerving. Her eyes stared intently at the raging fire, almost expecting something to appear and give her answers to whatever her query might be. The fingers on her right hand were fidgeting with the edge of a folded piece of paper that stuck slightly out of her pocket.

"What's on your mind?" asked Draco.

"Nothing really," her eyebrows danced as her eyes remained unreadable. "This or that. You?" She was being short with him. Why would she lie to me?

"You are on my mind," he surveyed the flickering smile on her lips. It appeared that she just couldn't bring herself to smile, as if something terrible was occurring that only she new about. And maybe there was. Draco was still unsure about the Jake guy. He could have something to do with it.

Hermione turned around in his arms. He was studying her and it was slightly unsettling. She pushed herself up to kiss him but knew it didn't feel the same. A plan had built in her head and now it was consuming her. Just like the night.

Quickly throwing all other thoughts aside, she pondered the idea of never seeing him again and this being their last moment. The kiss was suddenly passionate and her mind emptied, a blank slate prepared for any process of thought. 16200 seconds until night was the first one (say it's 1:30 and it gets dark at 6:00). The second was of Draco, smiling the grin that was hidden unless she was around, the smile just for her.

Draco deepened the kiss, adjusting their bodies so that he was on top of her. She propped one of her legs up, causing it to brush between his legs. She felt his body shake above her. He moved to her neck. Her back slightly arched which brought them even closer together.

"Mmmm," she murmured. Hermione was rubbing her hands on his legs, and he began to search under her shirt. When he moved to take it off, she stopped him and shifted her eyes to her bedroom door. He got the message and quickly stood, picking her up too. Her giggle made him smile just before he shut the door behind them. He let her feet find the ground. Then, they began to kiss again. Walking towards the bed, they stumbled clumsily a few times. Hermione fell backwards onto the bed and scooted on, followed closely by Draco. Her shirt was the first thing off. They kissed for a while more as Hermione slowly inched his shirt up and rubbed his legs, making him want her only so much more. Soon, his shirt was off. She shifted to kiss his neck. He moaned, and she instantly knew that he wanted her so badly that anything felt good. Her hand snaked to his inner thigh and triggered his mind. He fell to beside her.

"We can't," his voice was strained, forced.

"But we can," she commented and leaned over him.

"No, sex should be more than this. More than whatever is mentally and physically bugging you. More than what is driving me to want this."

She collapsed back to her side of the bed and sighed, knowing he was right. The aforementioned image passed through her head but now, he was suddenly frowned and began waving, like she was leaving him or something. She didn't want to leave him or anything of the sort. She just wanted to be a teenager. Everything felt too much. Her eyes began to close as she rolled over, letter her back face Draco.

"Hermione, please tell me, what's wrong? Just… please," he begged for her to explain what was going on.

Instead of responding, she remained silent for a moment before getting up and walking into the bathroom. She locked the door with a self-created spell and fell against it, slowly sliding down. Tears flooded her eyes and dripped to the floor. Her body refused to cease its incessant and near violent shaking. A hand… her hand blindly reached into the lowest pocket on her jeans that was practically near her ankle and pulled out a small pocketknife. The cold blade slid haphazardly across her wrist as if she wasn't even doing it. The lights blurred, falling out of focus. Sounds intensified, especially Draco standing by the door, pleading with her for entrance. He reiterated countless times that he could help her. Finally, she stood up and hit the door with anger.

"No, you can't!" she screamed. "You can't help me! No one can. You just…" her voice died down, "can't." She lay on the floor and curled up on the carpet. Holding her knees to her body, she fell asleep.

Hermione awoke from a nightmare, nonetheless. Quietly, she unlocked the door and opened it, feeling chilling air meet her quickly. Draco was in a chair, sleeping, by the door. Hermione grabbed the small backpack that she'd previously packed and tiptoed out of the room. Her legs began to run as she exited the common room and soon she found herself bursting out of the front doors of the castle. She dashed to the point where she knew she could apparate and did so. She was now in front of her old house. Two lights were on: one in the living room and one in the kitchen. She couldn't believe it. The letter was true.

Author's Hearsay: Okay, there is Chapter Fifteen. Yes, it is sort of short and dark and cliff hangish, but you'll live. So yeah, 10 reviews. Thank you to all of the lovely people who have reviewed. I was surprised to see the total for the story at 136!

Yes, I know that I have yet to update Hidden Surprises. Don't remind me… it'll start a foul mood and an even longer waiting time. The reviews aren't my problem, I'm just not into writing it. I'm pretty sure the next chapter is a happy one, I don't know, I haven't read it in a while but yeah, I'm not in a peppy mood as of late. Therefore, it might not be update too soon.

Oh, and don't flame me for Hermione cutting or try to tell me that she wouldn't do something like that or that it's out of character b/c truthfully, some of the smartest people do the stupidest things. I have had first and second-hand accounts on said stupid matters. Just, deal with the fact that she did it and realize that she will be smart enough to stop. Mmkay?

Also, it will be pointless to ask what the letter said b/c I will not tell you… just wait.

Somewhat love,

Heather