The three guys ran out to the front of the shop to see what was the commotion. A little Asian girl was standing there with a hand on her hip while the other was fanning her face with a wad of money.

"Are you the ones that Dan Dan Chan was talking about? You don't look that tough to me. Can you handle my $1000 high heel boots of death?" She boasted while striking a pose white flicking her long hair into the wind.

"What? Who do you think your talking to? These boots cost $1050!" Chris pulled up his pants to reveal black boots covered with diamonds.

"How dare you! Try to match Quinn C. (C Cash) Monnay. You ugly women you!" Quinn pointed to Chris.

"Who are you calling ugly!" Chris shot back.

Quinn reached into her large Prada purse and pulled out rolls of bill and began to toss them at the three. Each roll exploded and sent razor sharp Benjamins flying all around. The three jumped out of the way and pulled out their transformation wands. Rich and Chris looked at Davy waiting for him to pull his out. Davy dropped his pants and pulled out the wand from where the sun didn't shine. Everyone just paused for a second and stared.

"I didn't want to loose it. This way I always know where it is," Davy said.

"Now is not the time to talk about how we use are wands for other things," Rich quickly said. The three held up there wands to transform.

"FULL MOON POWER! MOON ME!"

"FLAMING MARS POWER! TOASTY!"

"NIPPY MERCURY POWER! TASTY FREEZE"

In a flash the three transformed and jumped at Quinn C. Monnay. Mercury reached her first, he slapped his ass and his magical ice trays of justice popped into his hands.

"ICY TREATS!" Sexy Mercury let loose his ice cubes of mild fury.

A few ice cubs fell to the ground in front of him. Mercury looked down then let out a weak smile. Quinn laughed and bitch slapped him with a wad of money and sent him flying into a large black woman. The woman began to chase Mercury, shaking her large ham hocks at him in fury for knocking the chicken out of her mouth.

"CHEESE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!" Sexy Moon formed a large wheel of cheese with each wedge having a picture of them all.

"What ever the arrow points at will explode! Ha ha, beat that!"

Rich laughed as he spun the wheel. It spun and spun landing on the large black woman who was chasing Sexy Mercury. The large black woman screamed and exploded into a pile of press on nails and hair extensions.

"You two have some useless powers don't you?" Mars responded.

"HOT PLATE!" Mars did a motion with his hands and then a hot plate landed in his hands, burning him.

"Who has the useless powers now!" Moon pointed at Mars' burned hands.

Mars just kissed his hands. Mercury ran over to aid Mars.

"ICY TREATS!" An ice cube fell into Mars' hand.

"That should do the trick!" Mercury smiled, feeling like he had done something useful.

Seeing an opening Quinn C. Monnay let loose a roll of bills and caught the three Sexy Soldiers, who were wrapped up together.

A rainbow appeared and with a flash skittles fell from the sky. A little brown boy appeared licking his lips.

"My, my, what do we have here Quinn C.?" the brown guy asked.

"Warren G. I got you some new play toys!" Quinn C. giggled.

"Yum, I don't know where to start, but why did you get me a girl?" Warren G. (G gay) said puzzled.

Quinn responded, "Well, it's really a guy, just look closer."

"I'll have a physical later to make sure," Warren G. said as he walked over to the three tied up Sexy Soldiers.

"AHHH! TAKE DAVY! HE LIKES IT LIKE THAT!" Moon screamed in horror.

"Hey! Even I have some standards," Mercury said in his defense.

Warren G. turned red, but you couldn't really tell cause he was so brown.

"HOW DARE YOU! How can you refuse the pleasures of my brown coconut colored flesh!" Warren G. yelled.

The three looked at each other and threw up a little in their mouths. What were they to do now? How could they get out from Quinn C. Monnay's Cash Capture? Warren G. had now become super bitchy from being rejected three times at once. Warren G. snapped his fingers rapidly and began shooting rainbow colored skittles at the three. They didn't really fly that fast so instead of doing any damage it was more of an annoyance.

"Damn, he's so powerful! What can we do?" Mercury began to cry out in annoyance.

"I didn't think someone could have such useless powers like you Mercury." Mars laughed and he got skittles stuck in his hair.

In the distance a shadow could be seeing coming. It looked like a person was riding a donkey. It was some brown guy wearing a sombrero and holding a jar of green salsa.

"Hi, can you tell me where Madam Conchitas Fortunes and Etc. is?" the guy asked Warren G.

Who's the guy with the snazzy green salsa? What's up with Warren G.? Why am I still posting these things? Oh well. Next Time on Sexy Soldiers:

"Super Spicy Jalapeno Zestyness!"