"TACOS! TACOS! TASTE CONCHITA'S CRUSTY TACOS!" Alan shouted while shaking tacos, scaring the white people as they walked by on the sidewalk.

Alan wondered why he wasn't selling any of the tacos, and began to get frustrated over the low sales for the day. Apparently, instead of working at the fortune shop, Alan was instead put to work at Conchita's taco cart across the street. He was only allowed in the shop after hours to clean.

"This is STUPID! I'm not making any pesos!" He yelled out loud, a few rich people looked at him and threw some coins at him. Alan pulled a gun from under his sombrero

"The hell you think I am? Give me your purse and wallet you salty crackers! NOW!" Alan resorted back to the days when he use work at El Pollo Loco. The white people let out a scream and tossed their money and ran off down the street

"Honey, what was that all about? He spoke English!" Said random white woman.

"Darling, I can not believe it either. I was scared that he was going to touch me," White guy replied as he tried to catch his breath.

"Shouldn't he be making Chinese food or something? White woman wondered.

A strange sound could be heard making its was to the couple. It sounded like stray cats in heat as they fell into a garbage disposal. Suddenly the couple turned around to the absolute whiteness of a scary white fellow.

"HI! I'm Sammy! You want to be friends? I'll even sing you a song" Sammy said with a large smile that only a mother could hate.

"OH my GOD! What is it!" The white couple shouted in horror and tried to run away, but it was all too late as they had directly made eye contact with Sammy. In an instant the couple exploded into a pool of mayonnaise. The entire side walk was covered in the white stuff (not the good kind).

"Oh, no! Why do they always turn out this way?.. Ohhh mayo!" Sammy got out his mayo jar and filled it to the top with the creamy white stuff.

"I can't let it go to waste!" he exclaimed as he started to lick it off the sidewalk and the windows of the stores. His face was now covered in it the gooey white mess.

"Wow! It's true it does taste better freshly made" Sammy having had his full skipped down the street.

He spotted the taco cart that Alan was working at. Sammy waved, smiled and licked off the remaining mayo from his top lip.

"Sorry but I'm not selling what your looking for" Alan said in a hurry.

"Huh? I'm looking for tacos" Sammy responded puzzled.

"Well I guess this is the only kind of taco you're going to be filling your face with anytime soon." Alan responded as he whipped up a crusty Conchita taco.

"That's going to be $2.50" Alan said holding his hand out.

"Hold on let me count my money first" Sammy said before slamming on the cart a giant can filled with coins. The pile of coins poured all over the cart and Sammy started to count the pennies one by one. Alan's face turned red, but you couldn't really tell cause it was so brown.

"STUPID! Are you serious? You going to pay with that?" Alan now pissed off.

After two hours passed and Sammy miscalculating four or five times he finally responded.

"Um, I have $2.49, is that okay?" Sammy asked looking hungry and about to die from hunger.

"HELL NO! what kind of taco cart do you think I'm running? I should charge you a cracker tax on top of it" Alan snapped back after waiting all day for the money.

"Hey don't be mad that your mom ran off with your brother and sold you for a bag of oranges from the Mexican man on the side of the street." Sammy responded hungry and horny.

"Excuse me? She got a bag of oranges, strawberries and a bouquet of flowers! Thank you." Alan proudly replied back.

"GIVE ME YOUR YUM YUM TACOS!" Sammy went crazy with hunger screamed out.

The two started to wrestle over the taco in the middle of the street. Cars crashed and white women screamed because they thought they saw a black man, and thought of how big it would be.

"Wow! Have you ever been with a black man?" Chrissie asked.

"OMG! Don't even talk about it. White women can't handle those things. Just thinking about it makes me feel like a dirty girl" Ashley giggled out.

"Don't even go there, you are such a slut!" Chrissie yelled back.

"I am so not one! Fine, to prove it I'll sleep with three white guys. That will prove it" Ashley yelled back.

"OMG! You are so not a slut then. Can I watch?" Chrissie asked.

"Well yeah, what friends wouldn't let the other watch and make DVDs and sell them on EBay?" Ashley questioned.

"Not the good ones anyway" Chrissie squealed and the two hugged.

Alan and Sammy continued to wrestle in the street, people were now in a circle around the two placing bets.

"What is going on here? This is a place of sexy business" Rich said to the Alan.

"What can a boy like me do? Davy questioned.

His eyes lighted up like slanted lamps and he ran off back to the fortune shop and returned with ice trays.

"What are you going to do with that Davy? Chris asked with a puzzled look, but really deep inside he knew what Davy was going to do with them.

"Oh my! It's so hot out today. What am I going to do? These ice cubes will get me through the day." Davy said in a small voice as he started to lick the ice cubes and let out moans of slight pleasure. The cubes melted on his lips and the crowd went silent as they were hypnotized by the sigh.

"You are such a slut! You slut." Rich said with a smirk.

"Wow Ashley, now that is a slut" Chrissie said.

Rich not wanting to be out done ran back to the shop to get his wheel of cheese.

"Chris, you know what to do" Rich said quickly.

Chris used his powers and warmed up the cheese and gave it back to Rich.

"Let me show you how a pro does it Davy" Rich said as he jumped into the melted cheese and began to roll around in it.

"Nachos anyone?" Rich asked as he licked some cheese off his finger.

"Get your chips here! Jalapenos are extra! Alan was now back at his cart as a line started to form. Davy got upset and made the cheese freeze up again, trapping Rich.

Ha, frozen in cheese, and super tasty Yum Yum Tacos! Lolz. yeah. i dunno why i bother with thesem but whatever. Comment me! Also, we will be haviing a segment where the various Sexy Soldiers will be answering your various questions. yeah. send em in!