"Isella no time for cracker boy!" She yelled as she got up to attack again.
Sammy had a huge smile on his face as he couldn't believe that she didn't explode. He had now fallen in love with her and couldn't take his eyes off of her. Isella let loose her Verbal Abuse Assult at Moon and Jupiter.
"Moon why so fat fat? No one like a fat fat!" Isella said in a mean tone.
"Huh? I'm fat? Why didn't anyone ever tell me?" Moon yelled and screamed, shaking his fist to the sky. Moon started to cry and lost his will to fight.
"Stupid! What are you doing? I thought you knew already," Jupiter trying to comfort Moon said nonchalantly.
"Jupiter you will always be brown and will work at a Jiffy Lube!" Isella attacked Jupiter.
"Huh? Jiffy Lube?! Nooo…!" Jupiter started to cry and fell to his knees. He pulled out a taco and started to sob as he ate it.
Isella laughed as she stood there victorious over the Sexy Soldiers.
Sammy ran from behind the dumpster and shouted, "How can my love say such things? Please give me the power to set her cruel chinky heart free!".
Leche fell from the sky and landed next to Sammy. "Your love for this Asian woman has awoken your powers Sammy. Now take this love stick and transform!"
"Oh! Danny CHAN! We should get a love stick together!" Mercury giggled and blushed.
"Isella! HELP ME!" Dan Dan yelled to no avail.
"Your just afraid of commitment Danny CHAN!" Mercury started to sob again.
Sammy now filled with his love for Isella has given him the strength to fight.
He threw his little transformation wand in to the sky and shouted out, "It's morphin' time! LOVE ME VENUS POWER! LONG TIME!" A burst of bright light swirled around Sammy and Sexy Venus did his pose in front of a giant heart.
"Sexy Soldier of Erotic Level Love! I shall please you with my ways!"
The giant heart behind Venus cracked in half right after his speech.
Isella was now speechless at the sigh of Sexy Venus. "What hell is that!?" She exclaimed and pointed at him.
"Now now, my love we can be together for eternity, just let me love you!" Venus shouted with his hand on his heart. Sparkles filled his eyes and tears ran down his white boy skin.
"NEVER! Me no love you long time! Take this! Verbal Abuse Assault!" Isella shouted fearing for her Chinese girl life.
"You will drive beat up truck and eat mayonnaise for breakfast for rest of your life!"
"How did you know I love mayonnaise and truck driving?" Venus wondered.
Isella was shocked to see that her attack had no effect what so ever. Could her training at CCWU (Ching Chong Wong University), have been for nothing?
Venus saw his chance to catch Isella's heart and let out an attack to ensnare it for sure. Venus licked his lips and with a wink, a magical microphone fell into his hands.
"Saigon Headache! Love Me LONG TIME!"
Venus chanted his love spell to seduce the fortune out of Isella's cookie. Isella saw the attack coming and busted Dan Dan Chan free and threw him to shield herself. Dirty Dan was struck by the love attack head on. His eyes grew bigger, but not by much since he's Asian. Hearts filled his eyes as he stared at Venus.
"My mayonnaise mama! Where have you been hiding this whole time?" Dan squealed as he leapt at Venus.
Mercury screamed at the very sight of Dan flying into Venus's arms. He began to glow with a soft blue hue.
"SNOWMAN SNOWBALLS!" He yelled in anger, trying to prevent his man from falling into Venus' pale cracker hands.
The ground started to rumble and a giant snowman appeared next to Mercury. The Snowman winked, gathering his snowballs and chucking them at Sexy Venus. They didn't really do anything but roll on the ground slowly towards Sexy V. But it worked and Venus bent over to pick up one. Dan Chan flew over Venus and right into the Mexican man on top of Chris. The two collided and there was a giant explosion of rice and beans.
"Look what I made!" Venus said cheerily as he pointed to the snow cone he was holding.
"Oh I want one too!" Moon shouted as he ran over, as did Chris, Jupiter and Leche.
"Mercury has the tastiest snowballs!" Leche squeeled as he licked Mercury's frosty ball.
Isella grabbed the smoldering Dan Dan Chan and vanished with a gong sound.
"Stop licking my balls!" Mercury shouted as he started picked up his other balls lying on the ground. Jupiter shoved a snowball into Mercury's mouth to him shut up.
"Mmm.. Wow! My balls are tasty!" Mercury giggled and sucked on his balls some more.
"But... if my balls tasted this good, then why didn't Danny CHAN what SOME?! WAAAAA!!!!!"
Mercury wailed, sounding like a bunch of seals during mating season.
"Let's just get you tucked in with a Danana and get you to bed," Chris said as he walked Davy back to the shop.
"WOW! I'm a Sexy Soldier! That is so rad man!" Sammy said.
"You wish your were this sexy!" Jupiter said, munching a giant wet burrito.
"Now, now let's not get into an argument on who is the sexiest. Since we already know that I would win," Moon laughed as he licked Davy's ball.
Everyone went back into the fortune shop to decide on who was the sexiest through a series of sexy competitions.
Back at the mansion of Mistress Oprah and Billy Gates, Dan Dan was in his shower trying to scrub off the dirtiness that he felt that day.
"I thought that I was Dirty Dan. Those Sexy Soldiers are the really dirty ones. Once Mistress Oprah is married she will make me the Prince of Taiwan! HAHAHA!" Dan laughed as he scrubbed off the kiss marks that Davy gave him.
As he showered a couple of dark shadows creped into his room. The shower door flew open! Dan's scream could be heard through out the mansion.
"HI! I'm, like, all sticky again!" Warren G. said as he jumped in the shower with Dan Chan.
"THE HELL YOU ARE! Get out you rainbow tasting Skittle muncher!" Dan yelled out at the sigh of Warren G. and his little brown body next to his.
"Oh, stop, 3D Chan. Like you don't like it like this," he said as he got closer to Dan Chan, wiggling his eyeborws smarmily.
Suddenly the door swung open!
"What is taking you so long?! I need to take a bath!" Quinn C. Monnay shouted as she stood there is her thousand dollar slippers and undies made from endangered panda fur.
"Skank-ho-ass, why don't you just join us then?" Warren said as he turned back at Dan Chan, who was now all red from embarrassment.
"Are you kidding? I need to fill the tub with stem cells so I can soak it all up. Beauty is such a hassle that I almost wished I looked like you Warren G!" Quinn said as she looked at Dan Dan.
The two started to laugh together at Warren G.
"No one wants to look like that!" Dan Chan said as he pointed at Warren G.
"I almost couldn't say it with a straight face!" Quinn C laughed.
"HAHA! Straight face? Not with Warren G. here," Dan chuckled,
"Don't be jealous of my beautiful brown olive colored skin that shimmers in the golden sun's ray!" Warren exclaimed as he lathered soap over his body.
"Shouldn't you be picking strawberries with that olive colored skin?" Quinn C. said as she petted her thousand dollar endangered panda panties. The three continued their little chat through out the night.
Meanwhile Isella was in her room with her puppet servants.
"S&M! Did you record Mama stories?" Isella shouted as she pointed to the VCR (which she made).
"Yes, Mama. S&M record stories" The twin boy puppets said together.
"Where is Phi Phi? I want some Chinese Sausage! Isella hungry!" She shouted as she made an angry face and rubbed her stomach.
"Phi Phi here now to serve you," he said as he stood there in his waiter outfit on.
"Ohh, come to Mama and take my order!" Isella said as she threw Phi Phi onto the bed.
The rest of the night she spent using her Chi Suck technique to charge up Phi Phi for the next battle.
Back at the shop everyone was now passed out from the drinking and sexy competitions. Sammy and Alan were passed out and sleeping on Leche, Chris was passed out next to Davy who was holding his Danana doll Chris made for him. But Rich was in the kitchen making a snack when he heard a noise in the back room. He left his chocolate covered hot dog bacon wrapped cheeseburger to investigate. Yeah, right. He took it with him and munched on it as he checked on the noise.
"Oh...my...GOD!! This burger is so damn good!" Rich said as he took another bite, sauce sexily dribbling down his chin.
Rich caught the glimpse of a shadow that ran out the open back door, he gave chase and went out the door. But nothing was there, he turned back around and saw they face of some man dressed in black. Rich was scared and couldn't make a sound. He took another bite of the burger. The man knocked the burger out of Rich's hand.
Rich shouted in horror, "No! what kind of monster are you?! The last bite is the best!"
The dark figure gave Rich a Judo Chop and knocked his sexy ass out cold. In a flash the two disappeared into the night.
Ha! I personally LOVE this chapter. Isella is probably one of my favorite characters. Her and Sammy. Oh well. Anyway, I hope that, if you actually wanted one, that you got your Fanta! Some good stuff there. Also, please comment! Not that I'm comment monger or anything.
"Isella no time for cracker boy!" Lol. My favorite line. yeah.