The next morning everyone woke up with un-sexy hangovers. Alan woke up with the shock of having Sammy on top of him like some kind of dirty inspired Oreo. He let out a yell and tossed Sammy into the kitchen. Sammy flew into the fridge with a loud white crash.
"Oh, me so hungry long time." Sammy yawned out as he made a mayo milkshake. The milkshake was all cold and creamy with little lumps of mayo floating. It looked like spoiled milk as the chunks splashed over the kitchen counter. He gulped down the white thick concoction and licked off his white mayo milkshake mustache.
"I must celebrate my new friends with a song to show them my appreciation for them not blowing up!"
Sammy jumped with joy as he summoned out his magical microphone of erotic level love. He thought about what song he should sing. As he thought he licked his fingers and then twirled his long blonde hair. After a few hours and a wet microphone later he thought of the perfect song. The microphone rose to his pasty cracker lips, his tongue licked over the cold sores, his lips slowly opened.
"Let's get physical! Physical! I want to make your body talk, body talk!"
Sammy shouted out the song and did his seduction dance that mostly just consisted him of slapping his ass and gyrating his crotch up and down and all around. Everyone woke up in a panic only to behold the sight of Sammy and his native mating call and dance. The only person not to wake to the mating call was Davy. He was still sound asleep, but tossing, turning and speaking in his sleep.
"No… Danny CHAN! Not there, no… Do it like this, yeah, I love the washing machine…"
He moaned and started to rub the Danana doll against his body in pleasure.
Everyone just watched as he continued, "No… not that it won't fit. Ah ohh… chickens? Huh? No…mmmm…"
After about an hour Alan farted out some jalapeño poppers and woke Davy up. Chris checked himself in the mirror and started to brush his hair, but stopped suddenly. He walked back into the room to ask where Rich was. Rich usually was up making breakfast by now and watching his stories. No one had any idea where he had went. Davy looked like he was about to cry, as he would now have no one to have sexy competitions with. Alan tried to comfort him with some words.
"He's probably got kidnapped and probably died from the torture by now," causing Davy's eyes started to fill with tears.
Sammy skipped over and tried next. "I'll be your sexy opponent Davy!"
The he pulled out a strip of bacon and licked it up and down. Chris just slapped Sammy upside the head, and started to dial Rich's number. It rang and rang, but they only got the message.
"You have reached the sexy voice mail of Rich, so leave your bidness and ho ha and begone."
"There's nothing to worry about, Rich is a survivor and know how to handle situations," Leche said trying to calm everyone down.
"I'll kill myself! I'll burn this Mother F down! If you don't get out of my face!" Rich yelled at the guy who had brought him to some weird mansion. Rich had a knife and a sandwich in his hands. He swung the knife and took a bite of the sandwich at the stranger.
"Okay, just calm down Rich. You want another sandwich? Huh?" the stranger asked.
Rich nodded his head and put the knife down slowly.
"Look! A Cheese platter!" the guy shouted and pointed.
Rich turned away and was tackled by the guy down to the floor. The two wrestled with each other, their clothes were ripped off each other's bodies in a fury. Sweat glistened of their bodies as they rolled around. Suddenly they were in a pool of melted chocolate and whipped cream. Their breaths were heavy with exhaustion and slight arousion. Rich was too distracted by the smell of chocolate and whipped cream and couldn't focus on the sexy struggle.
"Who are you? Why did you bring me to this place?" Rich asked out of breath and stuffing his mouth with the melted chocolate.
"My name is Sir Jacob von Boom Boom, and I only brought you here to talk."
"That's what they all say! You just wanted to dip your egg roll in my plum sauce," Rich cried out and pointed to Jacob's Von Boom.
"No, I would never do that to you my Moon Princess" Jacob said as he stared into Rich's Asian slanted eyes that were brown as Hershey Chocolate Kisses.
"What did you say? How do you know about that?"
"Hush, my Asiatic rice mouse. All in time it shall all be revealed," Boom Boom said as he pressed his finger to Rich's mouth to hush him.
"That's the wrong hole..."
"Huh?"
Rich pushed Jacob off of him, got up and licked the rest of the chocolate off his body, and the rest of the chocolate off Jacob's body.
"What are you doing my round mooned faced princess?" Jacob asked, moaning and shivering in delight.
"I can't let it go to waste!" Rich yelled as he started to lick furiously.
Jacob was shocked and slightly turned on.
"Oh, what is that? Are you hiding a chocolate bar in your pants?" Rich asked as he pointed to the front of Jacob's pants.
Jacob blushed and ran off into the next room and returned with a change of cloths for the two.
Von Boom cleared his throat and was about to talk, but was quickly interrupted by Rich.
"OH MY GOD! What time is it? MY STORIES!"
Rich ran around the room, knocking things over while looking for a TV. He kicked open doors and even kicked the cat, knocking it out the window. He grabbed Jacob by the collar and shook him like a British nanny. Money fell out of Jacob's pockets, Rich stopped to pick the money up and then resumed with the shaking. Now tired and irritated about missing his stories "Asian Delite Love Time," Rich started for the door to leave.
"I can't allow you to leave yet my love," Boom called.
"You need to stop getting all up in my grill, what is all this love talk?" Rich spoke back.
Jacob ran up to Rich and grabbed his beautiful Asian Chinese sausage hands.
"We were once lovers in the past! I am the Prince of the Earth, we were to wed and bring peace to our people!" Boom Boom said as he swung his and Rich's body around the room.
"The hell is wrong with you? I am not a Princes or a Spanish lady, senor, so I'm just gonna go now," Rich said as he inched towards the door.
Von Boom noticed this and leapt at Rich, grabbing him and tossing him onto the bed. Rich was caught off guard, and didn't know what to do. Their eyes met...
"We must join and have a child!"
Rich's eyes exploded open and he grabbed Von Boom Boom by the nuts and tossed him like an empty bag of Cheetos, after he had licked it clean.
"Oh Hell no! You didn't buy me dinner and now you want me to have your babies? I ain't your baby mama!" Rich said angrily.
He held out his hand and shouted out, "Full Moon POWER! MOON ME!" but his transformation pen didn't appear like it usually did. Rich is a frenzy started to knock things over looking for it.
Jacob cleared his throat and held up the Moon Pen in his hands.
"If you want it, come and get it my love."
He smiled and put the pen down his pants.
Rich's face turned red and he started to cartwheel towards Von Boom, he did about two of them then got tired and stopped half way.
Rich thought to himself, 'This one is smarted than the others I have been up against, I need to think up a plan to get him to drop his pants.'
Rich suddendly pulled a gun out from his wallet and shouted, "Drop your pants Mother F! I ain't playing with you boy, Na Uh!".
Jacob's pants exploded off and the Moon Pen flew into Rich's hands, and he made a dash out the door. He was in the middle of a forest on top of a giant mountain in front for a bigass mansion. He could see the city far off in the distance, but now he had no ride.
"Um, excuse me can I trouble you for a ride back to town?" Rich asked Jacob back in the mansion.
"I knew you couldn't go on without my love," Jacob said as he held a rose in his mouth with sparkles in the air around him.
The two were now in the car on their way back to the town, Jacob turned to Rich.
"Could you reach in my glove compartment?"
"What kind of lady do you take me for?!" Rich asked shocked.
"I was talking about the car's glove compartment" Jacob responded, waggling his eyebrows.
"I never asked to be in any three-ways! Rich said in a huff and turned his head to the side. The car ride was going to be a longer and harder (pun intended) than they both expected.