"Ethan doesn't feel well." I said as I sat down next to Ethan on the bench. "I think his sugar is too high."
"Brendan is in his cabin, right? He knows where Ethan keeps his kit?" Director Burke was definitely panicking.
"Yeah.."
"I'll get the nurse too. Just stay here and keep him calm." I knew the keeping him calm part all to well. How many times had I done this before? Too many times to count off the top of my head.
Ethan grabbed my hand after Director Burke left and started taking deeper breaths. His color was way off and beads of sweat were visible on his forehead. I could tell that he was getting colder and colder by the second, and so I took my sweatshirt that I'd had tied around my waist and placed it around his shoulders. I knew it wouldn't do much, but I didn't really care. I knew that by now he was feeling really dizzy and that by putting the sweatshirt around him he'd feel comforted.
"Julie, I'm sorry about this." Ethan's hand was beginning to get sweaty, but I grasped it tightly so that it wouldn't slip away.
"Ethan, you know that this isn't your fault."
"Heat always makes my sugar go-"
"Shhh." I interrupted.
"I shouldn't have taken my pump off."
"Just close your eyes and relax." I tried to keep him from wasting what was left of his energy.
Within minutes Brendan had found and brought Ethan's kit to us and the nurse and I expertly checked his sugar and reattached his pump to give him the necessary insulin to bring his sugar level down. It didn't very take long for Ethan to feel good enough to get up from the bench. The nurse suggested that we go to get a little something to eat, and, after assuring the Director Burke that Ethan would be okay, we walked into the mess hall and began to fill our plates with lunch.
"Don't tell anyone at the table what happened." Ethan whispered. I understood exactly what he'd meant. He hated being the center of attention, especially when it had to do with his diabetes.
"You really think I would?" I whispered as we both went for the macaroni and cheese.
"They're going to ask. We were gone for a good fifteen minutes and I look like hell right now."
"I'll come up with something. Just go along with it, all right?"
"You don't think Brendan will say anything to anyone, do you?" I'd never seen Ethan get so secretive about his diabetes. It wasn't like everyone in the room didn't know about it.
"Ethan, don't worry about it." I snapped. Immediately I knew that I'd said that at the wrong time. Ethan glared at me with one of his death stares, grabbed a fork, and walked away. I grabbed a fork and followed him, scolding myself for saying something like that to Ethan while his sugar levels were off. Doing something like that was always a recipe for disaster.
"What took you guys so long?" Meredith said in attempt to start a conversation when I got within two feet of the table. She grabbed her glass of lemonade and took a long sip.
"They were probably making out behind the mess hall." Lynn snickered. I sighed, loudly. Leave it to Lynn to be obnoxious and annoying.
"Guys, please!" I said and took a seat next to Ashley. Ethan quietly sat in the empty chair next to me.
"Look, Ethan even has sex hair. Makes you wonder what really went on back there." Jenn couldn't help herself. There was a smirk on her face and she moved her chair as she pushed the food around her place to make room for the rest of us at the table.
"That is so not what happened." Ethan said as he took a forkful of macaroni and cheese from his plate. I studied him as I waited to see if he'd continue. He looked kind of weak, and his brown hair was messy from sweating, as it was sticking up in some places and flattened down in others. He pushed his hand through it quickly as an attempt to fix it. This only made it worse.
"Then what did happen? Did I just see you walk in with Director Burke. Did someone get in trouble?" I wanted to jump over the table and maul Lynn at that moment for continuing the conversation.
"I saw you pull Ethan over to the side as we were coming to lunch before." Leandra asked with her usual drama-seeking voice.
"Nothing crazy happened, all right? Director Burke had asked me last night to help him go through sheet music later for pep band. So, I had Ethan talk to Director Burke to help because I know he'd be able to pick out better music."
"You guys know that everyone is bored with the usual Sweet Georgia Brown and The Hey Song. I was thinking we could play Spiderman and some Disney music." Ethan quickly said and poured himself a cup of juice from the pitcher on the table.
When we were all finished eating, we went on our usual hour and a half break. The group wanted to play basketball, but Ethan knew that he wasn't up to it. Him and I sat on the wooden bleachers as we watched the group play.
It wasn't until Ethan grabbed my hand for the second time that day and said, "Thanks. For earlier." that I knew he wasn't upset with me. His voice was so soft and sincere. I let my hand lay limp in his, even though I wanted to smile and melt into his arms. I knew that I couldn't let that happen. Ethan and I were friends and I had promised myself that I would never let myself be more than that with him. Deep down inside I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from liking him for much longer. I took a deep breath and held Ethan's hand back.
What was I doing? Was I ready for this? Was I ready for everything that this meant? I shrugged off all of the negativity that was building up in my mind and let the wall to liking Ethan down. I could barely believe that I was going to let things get complicated, but I knew that it was time to let go of the thought of Ethan as just my best friend. I'd known it the second that he had grabbed my hand and secured his in it earlier that day.