Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Wheldon and The Da Vinci Code belongs to Dan Brown and Ron Howard. The story title doesn't belong to me either. It's from the song Safest Place To Hide by the wickedly amazing Backstreet Boys. Please don't sue me, I'm completely and utterly broke and it's for entertainment purposes only.
Timeline: From the end of season six to the end of Chosen, BtVS and post-movie, Da Vinci Code
Pairing(s): Willow/Tara (a little bit), Willow/Silas, Buffy/Spike, Dawn/Silas (friendship), Xander/OC
Author's Note: This chapter is based on a Christmas song called The Christmas Shoes by NEWSONG (I sobbed the first time I heard this song when it came out three years ago). I wanted to show a different side of Silas and I think The Christmas Shoes fits with this chapter and the mood of it. Enjoy and please no flames. I will ignore them and I don't have the patience for them.
Summary: Three years after that fateful night in London, Willow and Silas reunite after he came to the Watcher's Council's Headquarters following the shooting at the Opus Dei Center.
Three days later …
Willow was having a terrible time sleeping. It had been three days since Silas showed up at the Council HQ. After two days in the infirmary, he was moved to a room across the hall from the Wicca's. Despite that he was recovering physically from his ordeal, Silas was still an emotional wreck over what had happened and was often in tears. He even hated being alone in a room for long periods. A problem that Willow solved by staying in his room until he fell asleep before she would go and do something. Despite protests from Xander and a few of the Slayers, Willow, Giles, Buffy and Dawn began the long and difficult process of helping Silas adjust to life after Opus Dei knowing that he would never go back after what had happened to him.
Giving up on her bid to fall asleep, Willow got up to go to the kitchen to make herself a cup of warm milk. Just as she passed Silas's room, she heard muffed cries behind the closed door. At that point, she knew that he was suffering from another nightmare for the second time in three days since he came to the Council HQ and without hesitation; Willow opened the door and entered the room. She was at the former monk's bedside within minutes and she felt her heart jolt when she saw the tears running down his pale cheeks and heard his agonized cries.
"Please, no!!" Silas was crying in his sleep. "No!! Mama!!"
He's dreaming about the night his mother was murdered! The Wicca realized remembering the story that he told her of his mother's murder at the hands of his father. Oh, Silas!
With tears in her eyes, Willow started shaking Silas trying in vain to wake him. "Silas, wake up. Please wake up."
"Stop it!!!" Silas started screaming. "Please!!! No!!! Leave her alone!!"
Despite the tears that were blinding her vision, Willow sat down at the edge of the bed and continued to try to shake Silas awake. She kept the panic out of her voice as she spoke gently.
"Silas, please wake up. You got to wake up."
"NOOO!!!!!"
Silas flew up from his bed and into Willow's waiting arms. He tried to pull away from her but she held him firmly and tightly. At that point, he gave in and started sobbing uncontrollably. He clung to the Wicca like a frightened child and buried his face on her shoulder.
"Willow." Silas said between sobs.
"Shhh. It's okay, Silas. I'm here." The Wicca whispered gently. "It's all right. Shhh."
Silas sobbed harder when Willow placed a gentle kiss at the top of his head and she stroked his hair gently. She just simply held him in her arms fighting back tears of her own and remaining strong for him at a time when he needed her the most. As she continued to comfort him, Willow made a silent vow.
I will help you get through this, Silas. You deserve so much better than this. You're a good man who just needs to be loved and understood and who was used and deceived for someone's own twisted means. A man who is worth being saved. I know what it's like to be haunted by the sins of the past and I can teach you to pass from darkness to light. As God as my witness, Silas, I will help you learn wrong from right.
Help me, Willow!!! Please help me!!!
That was the desperate thought that ran through Silas's mind as he held onto Willow sobbing and crying uncontrollably. The tears fell hard and fast as Silas flashed back to the horrible night of his mother's death. He could remember the vicious punches his father gave her, her screams of pain, her cries for help and her pleas for mercy. He could also remember the insults his father shouted at her as he beat the life out of her and how he stomped on her until she was dead. Then Silas flashed back to the day when he murdered the sailor on the dock and was sent to Andorra. The memory of the rage, the anger and the helpless that he felt after he was captured. Then as much as he didn't want to, Silas flashed back to that horrible night three days previous when he murdered five innocent people and accidentally killed his only friend and mentor and that made him cry harder.
"Help me, Willow." Silas sobbed. "Please help me. I need you. Please help me."
Willow felt her heart breaking at the pain and the pleading in his voice and the tears that she had been fighting back were now running down her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before opening them again.
"I'll help you, Silas." Willow whispered. "I swear on Tara's soul, I'll help you get through this. You deserve so much better than this. You deserve to be loved and understood. Don't be afraid to come to me for anything. Whether it's to talk or you need a shoulder to cry on, you can come to me. You will never be alone while you are here."
"You are my constant companion." The Wicca continued. "My touchstone."
Love and an odd mixture of joy and pain filled Silas's soul at her words. "And you are mine." He whispered. Then he and Willow pulled away and looked at her. Then slowly, he leaned forward to kiss her. Willow didn't lean away but she didn't lean forward either. After a few minutes, her lips made contact with Silas's in a soft, passionate kiss. After a minute, Silas pulled away from her with love and desire flashing in his tear-filled eyes. Unable to hold her love and passion for him back, Willow leaned forward and kissed him this time with more passion pouring all of her love for the former monk that she had bottled up inside of her for three years into it. As she was kissing him, Willow wrapped her arms around Silas's neck pulling him closer to her. After a few moments, they pulled away again and looked at each other with love and passion.
Upon seeing the tears running down Willow's face, Silas traced the tears with his finger and then he slid it into her hair along with the rest of his fingers. As he was stroking her hair, he felt her hand on his tear-stained cheek. Then Silas felt Willow's head rest on his good shoulder and her arms wrap around his waist. With tears running down his own face, Silas wrapped his own arms around the Wicca and rested his head on her shoulder crying silently now.
"Willow." Silas whispered with a sob. "My angel. My precious angel."
London, England
Eight months later …
December 24, 2006
I can't believe that it has been that long since Silas came at our doorstep.
That was the one thought that rang through Dawn's mind as she and Silas walked pass a store window decorated with Christmas decorations. It had been a long and difficult eight months for both the former monk and the Scoobies. The transition was very difficult for Silas at first because of his habits while in Opus Dei. He had attempted to repent using both the Discipline and the cilice a few times. But one day, he was caught by Dawn and scared her so badly that Buffy took both the Discipline and the cilice away and virtually forbade Silas from repenting in the mansion. Dawn could never forget the conversation that both Silas and Buffy had just days earlier.
///FASHBACK///
"What the hell were you thinking, Silas? Doing that disgusting thing in the house and scaring the shit out of Dawn?"
Dawn winced at the furious expression on her sister's face. The events of what happened earlier ran through her mind like a VCR. She had caught Slias using the Discipline after she heard sounds of whipping and cries of pain. The furious look on Silas's face when she opened the door and saw the marks on his back burned in her memory. Dawn was so badly shaken and frightened that she went to get Buffy. The Slayer was furious. So furious that she went to Silas's room which was near Willow's, grabbed both the Discipline and the cilice belt and threw them out the window. Then she turned to him to tell him to come to her room to talk.
Silas also winced at the expression on Buffy's face but remained firm and full of conviction. "I was repenting …" he started to say.
"This isn't Opus Dei, Silas!!" Buffy spat unexpectedly. "What you do is insulting in the name of God. Isn't Jesus dying for your sins enough for you or are your sins so special that you have to do that?"
"It's spiritual pride, Silas. Nothing more." The Slayer continued. "Jesus died on the cross for all of us so that our sins will be forgiven. If you think that your suffering is greater than His than that's your curse. You are insulting Him by whipping yourself merciless and subjecting yourself to such pain and suffering. What do you think Willow will do if she hears of this?"
The conviction that was in Silas's eyes vanished at the mention of Willow. At that point, Dawn knew why. Since he had arrived at the Council, Silas spent more time with the Wicca and the teen than he did with any of the other Scoobies. The former Key was sure that the former monk is developing feelings for Willow but she wasn't sure how to approach him without making a big deal out of the situation.
But I know exactly what Willow would do if she hears of this. She'll lose it big time.
"Willow." Silas whispered and he looked up at Buffy and Dawn with tears in his eyes. "She will be very upset if she knows of what I have done. What have I …"
Buffy's face softened at Silas's distress and she laid a gentle hand on his arm. "Don't worry, Silas. Your secret is safe with us." She flashed Dawn a hard warning look as she said her next words. "Right, Dawnie?"
Dawn held up a hand in salute. "Scout's honor." She said with a small smile.
Tears streamed down Silas's cheeks as he glanced at the Summers sisters gratefully. "Thank you. I do not know how to …"
"You don't owe us anything, Silas." Buffy said gently. "Our friendship with you is very important to us and you are the most important person in Willow's life. She's very lucky to have someone like you in her life."
////END OF FLASHBACK////
Dawn pulled herself out of her thoughts when she felt her feet feeling very sore and achy. She turned to Silas and gently pulled his arm toward her to get him to face her.
"Silas, can we sit somewhere? My feet are getting sore."
Silas nodded his head silently and gently led the teen to a nearby bench which was in front of a department store. Dawn almost winced at the sad and depressed look on the former monk's face despite the Christmas cheer that was glowing around them and she couldn't help but feel very sympathetic toward him. It had been days since that day in the bathroom and it was still affecting him worse than the teen previously thought.
The former monk must have sensed her looking at him because to her surprise he asked. "Do you want me to finish your shopping so you could rest your feet?"
"Um, sure." Dawn stuttered in surprise. "Thanks."
Silas only nodded and he went to go inside the store without saying a word leaving Dawn alone with her thoughts. The teen never felt sorrier for anyone in her life and it made her feel sad thinking about it.
Poor Silas!!
Later …
Despite the Christmas cheer that was buzzing around him, Silas felt utterly depressed and sad. He felt terrible for what happened between him and Dawn when she caught him with the cilice and the Discipline. He wasn't willing to admit it but he realized that he was just as happy whenever he was around the teen and the rest of the Scoobies just as he felt around Willow. While Xander and few of the Slayers were hesitant and a little afraid of him, Dawn immediately accepted Silas without question and she was kind and friendly to him. Like Willow, she was a great listener and always gave him a shoulder to cry on whenever Willow wasn't there. She reminded the former monk of a teenage version of his mother.
Silas squeezed his eyes shut as tears welled in them and he began to fight them back. He was so engrossed in his raging emotions that he almost didn't notice that the line in front of him started to move forward. Once he snapped back into reality, he almost bumped into something small and he opened his eyes to see that he had bumped into a little boy.
"Forgive me." Silas said quickly as he tried to keep the boxes he was carrying from slipping out of his grasp.
The little boy smiled at him. "That's okay, mister." He said and then he turned straight head. As the boy turned, Silas noticed that the child was holding a pair of dress shoes in his little hands. Then when the little boy's turn came to pay for his purchase, what he said to the cashier stunned the former monk beyond belief.
"I need to buy these shoes for my mum. You see, she's been sick for a while and I know that these shoes will make her smile. I want her to look beautiful if Mum meets God tonight."
His mother is dying. That is why he is buying the shoes.
Once again, tears welled in Silas's eyes in sympathy for the little boy's efforts of trying to make his mother's final hours the brightest as possible. The former monk didn't bother to suppress a pang of grief he always felt whenever he thought of his own mother who died at the hands of his drunken, abusive father. He also thought of his former mentor and friend who saved him at a time when he needed a helping hand. But in all of the years that he had known him, Silas never received a single Christmas gift. Getting gifts was considered a sin and a sign of vanity. The former monk was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when he heard the clerk speak to the little boy.
"I'm sorry but you don't have enough here."
The little boy looked frantic as he looked in his pockets for more money. That made Silas feel even more sympathetic toward the small child and the heartbroken look on the little boy's face made the tears that he had been fighting back run down his cheeks as the child turned and looked at him. Then he spoke to him.
"What am I going to do? I have to buy those shoes for Mum. Somehow, I got to buy her the shoes. Please, sir. What am I going to do?"
Lord have mercy on this poor child tonight. He will need your kindness and your love tonight.
That was the one silent prayer that Silas made to God as he set the boxes in his arms down onto the ground and reached for the envelope in his pocket that contained all of the money for Christmas shopping. With tears blinding his vision, Silas took out two twenty pound bills and handled them to the clerk who smiled. As she took the shoes from the little boy to put them in a shoebox, the child's face lit up into a happy grin and looked up at Silas with such a twinkle in his eyes.
"Mum will look so beautiful tonight." He said. "Thank you."
Choking on his sobs, Silas nodded and said. "May God be with you and your mother tonight."
"He will." The little boy said as he broke into a run toward the door of the shop. As he did, he turned back to Silas and shouted.
"Merry Christmas, sir."
Despite that he was crying, Silas returned the child's smile and said. "Merry Christmas, my child." While all of this was happening, Silas was completely unaware that Dawn had watched the whole thing from outside of the store window with a big grin on her face and with tears of joy running down her cheeks.
Good for you, Silas!
Watcher's Council's Headquarters
Meanwhile …
"Remind me again, Buffy. Why am I doing this?"
Buffy couldn't help but smile at Willow's question as the Wicca sat at a table wrapping one of several Christmas gifts that the Slayer had bought for her to give to Silas. Because of her Jewish heritage, Willow kept saying no to the idea of celebrating Christmas but later changed her mind after talking to the former monk about the subject of Christmas. That surprised everyone in the Headquarters except Giles and Buffy. The two had seen some changes in the Wicca since Silas arrived at the Council eight months ago. She was less depressed and more cheerful than before. Willow was returning to being the Willow that she was during her late high school years but more mature and confident. Buffy, Giles and Xander welcomed the change very much despite the one-eyed carpenter's dislike for Silas.
Which I might have to fix sometime if he doesn't at least act civil toward him. The Slayer thought remembering the few times when Xander ignored Silas and even got very rude toward him. Willow will kick his ass for sure if he keeps this up.
"You said that Silas has never gotten a gift in his life, right?" Buffy asked.
Willow nodded. "Right. But don't you think that this is a bit much? I mean, I don't want him to be overwhelmed."
Buffy grinned at her. "Trust me, Wills. Silas needs to know that he's family as long as he's here with us. I mean, look at how well he and Giles get along with each other and with Dawnie. She and Silas are irrespirable when you're not with him."
"He might get along with Xander too if he would stop judging him because of his actions eight months ago." Willow replied with a frown.
Buffy returned her best friend's frown. "I know." She said. "I thought he was passed that with Angel and Spike. But I guess I was wrong. Silas can't be in the same room as Xander without being reminded of what happened eight months ago. Silas almost whipped his ass when he brought up the bishop he killed by accident."
Willow's shoulder sagged as she remembered that afternoon. She, Giles and Buffy were in a meeting when Shannon, one of the Slayers, burst in to tell them that Silas and Xander had gotten into a fight that was broken up by Faith and a large group of Slayers. While it had taken two Slayers to restrain Xander, it took five Slayers including Faith to restrain Silas since he was bigger, stronger and powerful than the one-eyed carpenter. It took some time for the former monk to calm down but once he was calm enough, he explained what had happened that had set him off. Xander had called him a murderer and insulted him by purposely bringing up the events of eight months ago.
I thought that Buffy was going to kill him or Giles or Faith or even Dawnie. Dawn and Buffy won't even talk to Xander now because of what happened. Faith gives him the death glare when she passes him down the hall and Giles, well; he's civil toward him but he's not very friendly with him right now either.
When she talked to Xander later that night, Willow gave him some advice and a warning.
The next time that you do this again, Silas will kill you and most importantly, I'll let him. If you can't accept him here and look past what he did eight months ago then that's your curse. Just try to understand him and where he came from.
As the memory of the afternoon faded, Willow sighed and looked up at the clock. It read 6:30 pm. "Well, I better go and get ready."
"Ready for what?" Buffy asked.
As she got up from her chair and took two steps away from the table, Willow turned a little red as she answered. "Christmas Mass."
Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. "Christmas Mass?"
Willow felt her cheeks grow hot and in an embarrassed voice, she explained. "Um, I promised Silas that I'd go with him to Christmas Mass." Her face turned bright red when she saw the grin on her best friend's face. Buffy laughed when she saw that Willow's face was as red as her hair. Once she stopped laughing, Buffy finished wrapping the Christmas gift the Wicca was working on. Then a few minutes later, Willow came out dressed in a long black skirt and a blue button down shirt. She also had a black winter coat on with black gloves on her hands.
Buffy nodded her approval at her best friend's outfit. "Good for church." She said.
"Thanks, Buff." Willow said.
After nearly twenty minutes, the front door of the mansion opened to reveal Dawn and Silas. Both of them were carrying boxes that were already wrapped neatly for Christmas. Buffy grinned at them.
"How was Christmas shopping?" she asked.
Dawn and Silas glanced at each other before looking back at the Slayer. "Interesting." Dawn replied. "And busy."
"It must be. It's Christmas Eve." Buffy pointed out.
As the Summers sisters engaged in conversation, Silas felt his breath catch in his throat when he looked at Willow. She looked as beautiful as an angel with her hair pulled back into a bun. He couldn't help but love her more than ever before. It had taken him three long years but he realized how much in love he really was with Willow despite everything that had happened between them. He wasn't sure why it had taken so long and he didn't care. What he did know was that he will never go back to Opus Dei or back to the life he had been living during the time he had been in the sect. Silas was now more than willing to start a new life with Willow and everyone else in the Scooby Gang and help them with their new purpose which was to track and train Slayers all over the world. He had changed and learned more in eight months than he did in his entire lifetime.
God has given me a new purpose in life and has blessed me with an angel who loves me for who I am. He has also given me a chance to redeem myself for the sins I have committed against Him. I will not let this chance go to waste.
When he was in Opus Dei, Silas's education was severely lacking despite having an excellent reading ability but that changed when Giles arranged for the former monk to take classes at Oxford University taught by a colleague of the Watcher's who happened to be one of the few members of the old Council. At night, Silas went patrolling with Buffy, Faith and a few of the older Slayers. Sometimes, he even helped Dawn with some of her own studies since she also attended Oxford University and had the some of the same classes as the former monk.
"You look beautiful as always, Willow." Silas said with a smile on his face.
Willow grinned at him. "Why, thank you, Silas." She said. Gently, she took his hand into hers. "Shall we?"
"Of course." Silas replied. Gently, he led the Wicca out of the door and to the waiting taxi-cab outside that would take them to church. It was a twenty minute cab ride from the Watcher's Council's HQ to the nearby church. Once he paid the driver, Silas and Willow both went inside the church which was very beautiful in the inside as well as the outside. It reminded the former monk of Notre Dame back in Paris with all of the glass windows and the heavenly atmosphere inside. After a few minutes, they sat down in the pew and while Willow sat down in her seat, Silas knelt down on his knees and began to pray. He prayed for forgiveness for the sins he had committed against the five people he had killed and Bishop Aringarosa as he had always done for the eight months since that fateful day. He also prayed for the little boy he had met in the store and his dying mother.
Lastly, Silas prayed for Willow whose kindness and love for him had saved him more ways than he had dreamed of in his lifetime. As he finished praying, he glanced at the Wicca who was smiling at him with a twinkle in her eyes that brought tears of happiness to his eyes. As the mass began, Silas and Willow stood and held hands glancing at each other lovingly as if they didn't have a care in the world except for God.
Later …
As they were passing the library, Buffy and Giles stopped when they saw that the doors were open and they went inside. The room was dark except with a fire going in the fireplace. None of the books seemed to be out of place and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Just as she was about to suggest to Giles that they should leave, Buffy stopped when she saw a very lovely sight. Silas and Willow were sitting on the couch in each other's arms. Both of them were asleep with smiles on their faces. In Willow's case, there was a book hanging limply in her hands. Buffy glanced at the cover and grinned when she saw the title of the book.
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. What a good book to read to Silas.
Giles must have seen the sight before them because he approached the sleeping couple with a blanket and gently, he draped the blanket onto Silas and Willow. The Watcher glanced at them one last time before turning to leave.
"Merry Christmas, guys." Buffy whispered softly before she turned to join her Watcher to leave the library with her best friend and the former monk sleeping in the library.
December 25, 2006
5:30 am
The next morning …
Willow woke up feeling very stiff and her back achy. She also was feeling warm with large, strong arms decidedly male. Then it all came back to her. After Christmas mass, she and Silas returned to the Watcher's Council HQ to spend some time alone and they went to the library. The former monk had asked her to read a story to him to which she agreed gladly. She had chosen A Christmas Carol and after hours, they had fallen asleep before Willow had finished the story. Smiling, Willow snuggled closer to Silas and wrapped her arms around him. This had woken him up and after opening his eyes, he glanced down and smiled at her.
"Good morning, my angel." Silas said.
"Good morning, stranger." Willow said with a smile. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Willow." The former monk replied with a loving smile.
Willow leaned forward and gently kissed Silas on his forehead and on his cheek which prompt him to kiss her gently on her mouth. He ran his hand through her hair as he was kissing her. After nearly a few minutes, they pulled away to glaze at each other lovingly.
"I love you, Silas." Willow whispered.
"I love you, Willow." Silas replied in a whisper. He kissed her gently on the forehead and held her for a few more minutes before he got up from the couch despite feeling a bit stiff from the position he was in. Willow also got up but winced in pain as she stood from the couch.
"Are you all right, my angel?" Silas asked sounding alarmed and concerned.
Willow flashed him a smile. "Just a sore back from last night." She reassured him. "No biggie." I've forgotten how sweet he is. I mean, he's so sweet and honest for a former monk.
"I'll be okay, Silas." The Wicca continued with the reassuring smile still on her face. "It's a sore back nothing more. Come on, let's see if Buffy and the others are awake yet."
Willow and Silas took hands and held them as they walked down to the large living room where all of the Scoobies minus, to the Wicca's disappointment, Xander had gathered around the Christmas tree at near the fireplace. There were gifts all around the tree wrapped in beautiful colors like gold, silver, red and blue. Dawn glanced up and grinned when she saw the Wicca and the former monk standing at the doorway. Giles, Buffy and Faith also smiled when they saw them.
"Good morning, you two." Giles said with a smile. "And happy Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Mr. Giles." Silas replied with a smile.
"Merry Christmas, Giles." Willow replied.
Dawn flashed a cheerful grin at Silas and Willow's direction. "Merry Chrinukkah, you guys." She said.
Willow turned and smiled when she saw the confused look on Silas's face. "It's the mixture of both Christmas and Hanukkah. Something out of her favorite TV show."
Silas's confusion faded as he remembered the time when he watched TV with Buffy and Dawn one night and the teen introduced him to her favorite show. An American teen drama called The O.C. While both the Slayer and the former monk didn't care much for the show, Dawn loved it and watched it every week.
"Of course." Silas said with a smile.
Buffy couldn't help but grin at them. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's get started with the gifts!!" She exclaimed. Buffy, Giles, Willow and Silas took seats on the couch while Dawn remained on the floor near the tree. She grabbed the gift nearest her and read the name on it.
"This one's for you, Buffy." Dawn said. She got up and gave the small wrapped box to her sister. "From Giles."
As Buffy took the gift from her hands, Dawn picked up the next gift and smiled when she read the name on the tag. She turned to Silas and Willow with the smile still on her face.
"This one's for you, Silas." She said as she got up to give him the medium-sized box. "From me and Buffy."
Silas was surprised and shocked. "For me?" he asked. Tears welled in his eyes for their thoughtfulness. This was the first time in his life when he had received a gift.
Dawn nodded her head with the smile still on her face. "Of course, silly." She replied cheerfully.
"Open it." Willow urged him gently.
Hands shaking, Silas tore at the wrapping paper to reveal a white box. Curious, he opened it to reveal a brand new Catholic Bible with a beautiful violent bookmark inside it. His eyes still bright with tears, Silas turned to Dawn who was smiling brightly and then to Buffy who had a gentle smile on her face.
"The one you had on you when you arrived here eight months ago was battered looking and falling apart." Buffy explained. "So Dawnie and I decided to replace it for you to save you from having to do it yourself."
A sob escaped his lips as Silas started to speak. "Thank you." He said. "I will treasure it always."
"You're welcome, Silas." Buffy and Dawn answered together. Then Dawn went to get the next gift which turned out to be one for her from Giles. Then once she gathered her own gifts, she then gave everyone else their gifts that were left under the Christmas tree. Her own gifts consisted of three books. One on demons from Giles, a cookbook from Beth and a book on Wicca from Willow. She also got new clothes from Buffy and a dagger from Faith. She also got a new diary from Shannon, one of the Slayers and a photo album from Xander. Dawn was surprised to see that the last gift she was about to open was from Silas. She tore at the wrapping paper to reveal a small white box and opened to reveal a photo of herself and the former monk, which was taken five months earlier, in a beautiful silver picture frame.
"Silas, this is beautiful." Dawn said with tears in her eyes. "Thank you."
"You are welcome, Dawn." Silas replied fighting back tears. His gifts consisted of a new laptop computer from Giles for his studies, a book on famous Catholic cardinals from Faith and a beautiful silver cross pendant from Sacha, Amanda and Gabrielle; three of the Slayers whom the former monk had befriended months earlier. He also got new clothes that fit from Beth and several small gifts from Willow that were a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird a book that he had read months earlier, three classical music CDs, a book on the Vatican, a journal and a photo of himself with Willow, which was taken a month before, in a beautiful wooden picture frame with the words 'Forever yours' carved into the frame.
Silas looked toward the Wicca with tears still in his eyes. "Thank you so much, my angel." He said with a sob.
"You're very welcome, Silas." Willow replied. She took his hand and squeezed it and moved closer to him. At that point, Silas couldn't hold on to his raging emotions any longer and broke down crying. His sobs wracking his entire body. He felt Willow's arms wrap around his shaking body in a comforting embrace.
"Willow … Willow." Silas choked around his sobs. "I am just …"
"Shhh, I know." The Wicca said gently. She just held him in her arms and let him cry. He had been holding back his joy for his new life and his sorrow for the childhood that he never experienced for so long. This was his first Christmas spent with people who cared about him and loved him like family and even received gifts for the first time in his life. As she looked at the faces of her friends, Willow was sure that they felt the same about Silas who in eight months became one of them. A member of their little family.
Our little family.
Twelve hours later …
"Man, I'm starving. Is Christmas dinner ready yet?"
"You just asked me that about ten minutes ago!!!"
"Hey, I'm hungry!! What can I say?"
"Well, keep your pants on!!! It'll be ready soon."
"What do I do till then?"
"There's some shortbread by the fireplace. Nibble on that for a while."
"Oh, for the love of God!!!"
Silas sighed as he felt a headache coming on. While Willow and Buffy were busy helping with Christmas dinner, the former monk remained in the living room watching Dawn and Shannon bickering over Christmas dinner. It was oblivious to him that both girls were hungry but Dawn was more patient and willing to wait than Shannon was. Both girls stood facing each other with their hands on their hips and that reminded the former monk of Buffy and Willow when they playfully argue with each other.
"Bickerin' over Christmas dinner again?"
Silas turned to see Faith standing in the doorway with a grin on her face. The former monk had developed the deepest respect for the other Slayer and her friendship for the eight months that they knew each other. Faith was like him in many ways. She also had killed people and got caught up with the wrong people and even did the worst things to her friends. But she also had paid the ultimate price for her sins by going to prison and redeemed herself by fighting in the final battle against the First Evil. In a way, Silas developed a kinship with the dark-haired Slayer and respected her in more ways than one.
"They have been arguing over it for the last hour." Silas replied wincing as his headache intensified into a throb.
Faith noticed his wince and said in a concerned voice. "Are you okay? You don't look so hot."
"It is just a headache, Faith." Silas answered. "Nothing more."
"How bad?" Faith asked. The pained look on Silas's face and the tears in his eyes answered her question and she took out a bottle of Tylenol out of her pocket and handed it over to Silas.
"You don't want to worry Red, do you?" she asked upon seeing the look on his face.
Seeing the logic in her words and not wanting to worry Willow, Silas shook his head. "Of course not." He answered as he took the bottle of Tylenol. He took two pills out of the bottle and downed them with the eggnog he was drinking. He glanced at Faith gratefully.
"Thank you, Faith." He said.
Faith grinned at him. "Don't mention it." She replied. "Come on, let's see how Christmas dinner is coming on."
Later …
"Whoa, that's looks so good!!"
Buffy smiled when she saw the look of amazement on Dawn's face. After hours of working in the kitchen for Christmas dinner, the Slayer and Willow were tired, hot and hungry. As some of the kitchen help began taking food into the dining room, Buffy and Willow went out to gather everyone including Dawn, Shannon, Faith and Silas. There was a lot of food that including turkey, mashed potatoes, squash, sweet potatoes, yams, stuffing, cranberry sauce, corn, peas, green beans and just about every vegetable imaginable. The table was set up with a beautiful silver and gold table cloth, sparkling silverware, crystal wine glasses and plates with a snowflake in the center.
Faith sniffed the air and let out a joyful sigh. "It smells so good, B." she remarked.
"It does." Silas said in agreement. His pale eyes as wide as saucers. "I have never seen so much food for such a meal."
Buffy grinned at the former monk. "No one said that Christmas dinner is like a normal dinner." She said cheerfully.
"You got that right."
Buffy, Dawn, Faith and Silas turned to see Willow and Giles standing at the doorway to the dining room with grins on their faces. The Wicca turned to the former monk with a loving grin on her face and he smiled at her back just as lovingly. They snapped back into reality when they heard Dawn say.
"Well, let's go and eat."
The fivesome went to their assigned seats in the dining room. Buffy sat at the end of the table while Dawn sat down beside Shannon and three of the Slayers. Giles, Xander and Faith sat down near the end of the table and Willow and Silas (to Xander's disgust and dismay) sat down beside each other at the other side of the table beside with two other Slayers. Then after a few minutes, Giles glanced over at Silas as he did the sign of the cross and whispered a prayer in Latin. To everyone's surprise, Willow did the same thing as she started to sit down at her chair. Then everyone else sat down to begin Christmas dinner. Throughout the entire dinner, Silas focused entirely on Willow who smiled at him as she was eating her meal. He was the happiest that he had ever been in his life. For the first time in a long time, he felt the love of a family that he had never experienced in his childhood with his parents and as he glanced at the faces of his new friends and family, he prayed for them all and for this moment to last forever.
Thank you all and God bless you for what you have done for me.
I know it's a bit late to put up a Christmas chapter but I was very busy in celebrating the New Year and also working. Anyway, happy New Year and please review!!! Also, I may have made a mistake on the O.C reference. If I did, I sincerely apologize and I'll correct it on my next update. Anyway, please review and remember no flames!! I will ignore them and I don't have the patience for them.