A/N: Remus Lupin's POV, this may seem very loosely attached to Harry's part of the story, and that's because, it is. But hang with and hopefully things will begin to connect better.
Chapter 2: Remus
Harry's leaving today. A part of me feels guilty for the way Nymphadora and I have treated him. It's hard to be happy right now, but then somehow it's also hard not to be. In the moments that I lose that happiness she's there and I wonder how I ever dealt without her.
Would Sirius of been happy for us? I like to think so. I can hear him joking sometimes about me robbing the cradle, or her liking old men. But I can also remember the darkness in his eyes. There's that one memory, as a young adult shortly before he was framed and sent to Azkaban, that moment that tore us apart.
It seems like a nightmare almost now, and I still have that shame. I try to push that memory away. She's never brought it up and we've never spoken about it but still now and then after a kiss when I pull away, I can see those dark eyes, that figure in the doorway so furious. I can hear those words,
"Pedophile! Fucking pedophile!"
Thinking back now she seemed so much older than she really was. James and I had decided to spend that summer with Sirius and Andromeda; I was twenty five so that would have made her… thirteen?
Twelve years seems like a lot, I know that. I tried to persuade her of that, but she really is stubborn.
"I'm thirty years old now Remus, I think I can make up my own decision on whether or not I'm old enough for you. Thirty to forty-two really does sound a lot nicer than thirteen to twenty-five.
I was a pedophile. I realize that, but there was a certain maturity about her that I had never mastered, still haven't. That innate ability to talk and have people listen, and care. That confidence to just not care what others thought of you, that freedom. She was so like Sirius, and yet she wasn't rebellious or angry, as he was. She was simply content in being who she was. And she still is.
"You're, you're only, sixteen!"
"Do you always talk this much about numbers when you're kissing?" That had shut me up, but even if it hadn't, she would have with her full, sweet, mouth.
"Thirteen,"
"What?"
"You were three years off, I'm thirteen."
I had pushed her away, claiming the whole thing was a mistake, apologizing a million times.
But she had just smiled like a little minx.
"You're cute when you're angry."
She had stalked off winking and telling me she'd see me in the morning. I had cursed myself and ran off to the room I was sharing with Sirius and James.
"Where've you been mate?" James had asked the second I came through the door. I had turned all red muttered and mumbling about being hungry and then feeling sick and then… Sirius gave me a look and then said
"Well, we ran into Nymph and she said she had played some joke on you," He smiled raising an eyebrow, "Looks like I taught her pretty well if she's gotten you this shaken up." He and James laughed while I nodded along
"She said to tell you she wants to make it up to you tomorrow," James added, "Some kind of apology. She said to tell you that you had better stop thinking about numbers though, because last time it was a big distraction."
I was determined not to let her corner me into anything that next day but inevitably it happened. How could she have been so young? Maybe it's her ability to morph and change, but she didn't look like any thirteen year old girl I'd ever seen.
He had walked in on that second time, and that had been it for us, that had been it until now. Years later, she still has that same spark that I can't help but be drawn to. My pedophilic addiction that not even the death of a best friend could cure me of.
"Pedophile! Fucking pedophile!"
A/N Cont.: Thanks for reading, I know this is a little confusing right now but stay with me, it'll all come together eventually. If you're interested in more, please let me know!