When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love some one but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

Sakura could count the number of nightmares she'd ever had on a single hand. Of course, she didn't count the only mildly disturbing and upsetting dreams, since they were a regular occurrence in her line of work.

The real nightmares, the ones that trapped her inside her own mind like the worst kind of genjutsu were rare and far between. It wasn't often that a dream could be so bad that she was forcibly torn awake with a gasp and a jerk. The first time she'd ever awoken with such fear clutching at her heart had been shortly after Naruto had left Konoha, when her stupid subconscious had pointed out that it wouldn't be all that farfetched if she never saw her friends again. Not alive anyway.

The second time it had happened had been the night before her second chunin exam. She'd been traumatized enough by the first exam that she'd been positively dreading going through it again. She'd dreamt that her teammates had abandoned her in the Forest of Absolute Certain Doom as trees resembling snakes attempted to crush her to death and that Kakashi and Tsunade just looked on, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads in disappointment.

The exam had been the perfect anti-climax to this vision of horror, though. Chouji and Ino weren't half bad teammates when they weren't being neurotic, and no strange, pale snake-men dropped by to chew on anyone's neck. Nor did any of the other hidden villages attempt a coup d'état to overthrow Konoha or murder the Hokage.

So, all in all, quite the success.

And she needn't have worried about Kakashi criticizing her performance. He hadn't even shown up. At the time she'd resented this, hurt that he wasn't interested in her progress because she wasn't male or insane enough.

However, this resentment had faded when she discovered he'd been off on another S-class mission. And this was confirmed when he appeared a few days after her graduation in the hospital with a broken arm and a lacerated shoulder. He'd asked for a specific medic: a chunin by the name of Haruno Sakura.

No one had told him she'd passed. He'd just assumed.

That was almost better than him being at her inauguration.

(Although they both agreed he would have been in serious trouble if it had turned out she hadn't passed.)

The third real nightmare she'd endured had been shortly after her fight with Sasori. She'd come close to dying before, but never that close. She'd never been stabbed so deeply before. Never felt the cold and numbing grip of death creep over her before. But what had scared her most about the whole near-death experience had been that she hadn't cared. As she lay there dying, she couldn't even summon the energy to be scared or angry. She could only feel acceptance… because that was the easiest way.

Sakura never wanted to feel like that again, and a rather real and vivid nightmare had been enough to cement that belief. She'd woken up crying and sweating and pleading with an empty room not to take her life while she was too weak to care. Not now, not ever.

But the fourth time Sakura sprang awake from the dream world with a jerk and a choke, she'd found herself staring unseeingly at a wall of damp logs. The images of her nightmare were still burning fresh in her mind. Sensations of greedy hands groping at her body, abusing it, taking more than she could give – willingly or not, still bombarded her. She couldn't tell if the man above her was Kakashi or Matsura… but the moment she'd heard the sound of Raikiri split the air, she'd jerked awake with a thundering heart and bird song still ringing in her ear.

It took her a moment to actually realize this was simply the dawn chorus. The forest was deafening this early in the morning. Stupid birds….

Forcing herself to relax and take deep breaths, Sakura pressed back against the rocks, hugging herself with her arms. The sun hadn't quite risen yet, but there was just enough light filtering through the gaps in the tree trunks to let her see that Kakashi was no longer stretched across the ground. She turned her head and saw that he was sitting beside her, looking as hunched up, stiff and unhappy as she felt. The warmth of his upper arm pressed against her own.

Sakura couldn't think of anything to say. Not even 'good morning' sounded appropriate in her head at that moment.

"Now…" Kakashi began, his voice breaking slightly as it seemed to be the first time he'd used it that day. "That was either a myoclonic jerk or a rather nasty nightmare."

"Who's a myopic jerk?" Sakura croaked, rubbing her eyes. She knew she wasn't exactly a vision of beauty in the morning, so she did her best to avert her face from Kakashi. "Oh crap, did I fall asleep on my watch?"

"You sure did," Kakashi grunted and stretched, making Sakura duck out of the way of his arm. "I didn't have the heart to wake you though."

This from the man who had routinely brought along a saucepan and spoon on Team Seven's old D-class missions for the sole purpose of getting them up in the morning. Consideration wasn't a frequently used word in Kakashi's vocabulary, but perhaps he felt Sakura's lack of sleep would be more problematic than anything else.

Gosh… she couldn't seem to stop showing herself up on this mission, could she? Groaning, Sakura crawled out from under the log shelter and out into the open where the morning promptly hit her full in the face. The air smelt so earthy and humid that she couldn't help but cough. Her lungs were town lungs, born and bred, but she couldn't deny it smelt good. It was a change from waking up to the stench of chemical soap suds from the launderette opposite her apartment.

She was stumbling towards the river edge when Kakashi emerged from the shelter behind her, plucking long pink hairs from the damp blade of his parrying kunai. After splashing a little cold water over her face and running some more over her hair to smooth it out, she turned to see him giving her an incredulous look. "What?" she grunted.

"Couldn't you have waited till we got home?" he asked mildly, indicating her hair cut.

Sakura shook her head. "It was getting in the way." And it kept reminding me of the mission…

Kakashi shrugged. "Fair enough," he tucked the kunai back into its holster. "It suits you shorter anyway. It makes you look more sophisticated."

Sakura wasn't sure that was a compliment. She'd been aiming for cute and spunky. "Sophisticated as in kimono-wearing noble, or sophisticated as in…?"

He stared at her, visible eye hooded with maddening impassivity as his thumb stilled against the metal ring on the end of his sheathed kunai. "You look like a woman."

She turned away abruptly and began splashing water back over her face in an effort to kill her blush. She was beginning to realize that she'd blushed more times in the last twenty four hours than she had in two years – and the cause of most of them was standing behind her, yawning and popping his neck quite loudly. What did you say to comments like that anyway? Thanks, and you look like a man?

It wasn't like he was flirting, because she knew for a fact that Hatake Kakashi was incapable of such an act. In all the years that she'd known him, she'd never heard him banter playfully with a woman or give suggestive comments. Of course, in all the years she'd known him, he hadn't actually shown much interest in the fairer sex at all.

Naruto and Sasuke had picked up on this quite quickly and had a running bet to see which way the copy ninja swung. Naruto was adamant that he was straight. Sasuke was too cynical to accept that and was sure he was gay. (To which Naruto had responded 'Why? Because he's so much like you?' which had been met with a resounding punch.)

Even though Sakura had never been involved in their little bet (in which teeth seemed to be the main betting fodder), she'd privately assumed he was just asexual. That perhaps the only things that interested him were books. Naked women didn't turn him on. Naked men didn't turn him on. But heck, give him an Icha Icha book and he'd be struggling to tear his eyes away.

So unless you had erotic literature printed across your skin, Hatake Kakashi wasn't going to show much interest in you. Sure he'd kissed Sakura for the sake of a mission, but he probably wasn't all that into it. Even now with that strange comment, it was more likely a passive observation than an actual compliment. He might just as easily turn to a toadstool and say "You look a bit poisonous."

And what's more, the toadstool wouldn't blush over it and then spend the rest of the day agonizing over the meaning behind those simple words while the man in question went on about his business. Although Sakura wouldn't blame it if it did. Kakashi had that effect on people. He had that effect on her.

She was just dipping her aching feet into the water for a well-deserved cooling when Kakashi knelt down beside her. She glanced over in time to see him shed his gloves and mask to start scooping up water in his hands to splash his face and take a drink. That was the fourth time he'd taken off his mask during this mission.

Either Kakashi was getting awfully complacent with her presence or…

"Are you still on the drugs?" she asked bluntly.

Kakashi snapped his mask back into place as he turned to her, one eye closed and the other hooded and slightly perturbed. "Mm?"

Well, whatever the reason, Sakura decided not to push the matter. Bringing his attention to it would probably only make him more cagey, and honestly, it wasn't like she was complaining. Shaking her head, she resumed paddling her feet against the rippling waters, her thoughts already drifting back to last night's events.

Kakashi sighed and sat back; legs crossed and weight braced behind him on his hands. One wrist gave such a audible click that Sakura couldn't help but snigger. "Your joints sound like they need some oiling, sensei," she teased.

"You're just jealous because you can't click as loudly as me," he replied lightly.

Sakura sat up and began rotating her wrist until it made a rather impressive snapping sound. She looked triumphantly at Kakashi who remained unmoved. In response, he shrugged his shoulder, emitting both a pop and a crunch.

Not to be outdone, Sakura lifted her feet from the water and flexed her toes till they all gave simultaneous little cracks, like the sound of a bunch of twigs snapping in unison. Kakashi countered with a stretch that had at least five joints along both arms snapping aloud.

They carried on popping and clicking at each other until he eventually ran out of joints to crack, though Sakura still had two knuckles left to go. "Alright," he sighed, holding up a hand. "You win."

She grinned at him. "No wonder Gai-sensei keeps pulling ahead in your rivalry. You give up too easily," she told him.

"Knowing when to quit is the mark of a smarter player," Kakashi returned. "It isn't always worth the fight."

Sakura's smile died a little. She searched Kakashi's masked, indecipherable face that was still partly turned away from her for a sign of a hidden meaning. Was he implying that she should have given up yesterday? Before things had gotten too far? Or was this just another innocently egotistical comment delivered with his usual nonchalance?

She knew the answer when he pulled a kunai from his hip pouch and passed it to her. He performed a one handed counter-seal almost lazily, and the cool metal in Sakura's hands suddenly ballooned into the form of a delicate blue and gold vase.

Sakura stared at the engraved pattern around the cockerel, tracing the lines with her fingertips.

Kakashi stood with grunt. "I hope that thing was worth it," he said offhandedly as he slouched off in the direction of the shelter she'd constructed and began taking it apart. Sakura watched him apprehensively before turning her attention back on the vase.

This artifact was probably worth a fortune. She could run away, sell it, and retire happily at the age of seventeen, never having to worry about money ever again. Not even her children or grandchildren would have to worry about money if this vase was hers.

But at the end of the day, it was just a lump of clay. Was it really worth what she had lost?

Damn Kakashi…

Sakura got to her feet carefully, cradling the vase against her chest as she watched Kakashi knocking the tree trunks into a horizontal pile. It wasn't entirely necessary, but at least if anyone came upon this small clearing it wouldn't be immediately obvious that there had been a shelter there. Every little helped, and all that. Sakura watched Kakashi bend down to collect the eyepatch she'd stripped him of last night.

"It's not what you think," she said, almost too quietly to expect him to hear her.

He turned halfheartedly, tugging the leather straps of his patch tight behind his head. "Mm?" he inquired.

Sakura swallowed hard. "Matsura didn't…" Her voice cracked and she tried again. "He didn't take it… I'm still a virgin."

Kakashi blinked slowly as his hands fell to his sides. He seemed to ponder this admission for a moment or two before walking towards her and bringing his hand down on her mop of unruly damp hair. "I don't think it really matters one way or another," he said evenly, bending down slightly to her level. "He may not have taken your virginity, but he still took your innocence. He still made you cry."

Sakura stepped back sharply, forcing his hand to slip from her head. She gave him a fierce glare. "Since when did I cry?"

Kakashi straightened, hands in pockets. "Last night. In your sleep."

Unable to form a suitable comeback to that, Sakura glared at the ground.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Kakashi told her gently.

This kind of conversation did nothing for the stoic and confident image she was trying to give. Instead, his softly spoken words just made her want to cry all over again. The last thing Sakura wanted to do was cry in front of this man… but clearly she'd already done that last night. "Nothing to be ashamed of…" she echoed. "That's easy for you to say. I bet you've never cried once in your life."

"You'd think…" Kakashi responded loftily, looking up at the sky. "But actually I cried a lot when I was your age. Every time I stubbed a toe… whenever I nicked myself shaving… you know, that kind of thing."

Sakura gave him an incredibly perturbed look.

"Well, I was drunk most of the time," Kakashi amended.

Ah… so maybe he hadn't been joking?

"Don't worry about it, Sakura," he said, moving past her. She caught the smell of earth and tree sap in his wake and realized she smelled exactly the same. When he reached the river bank, he looked back at her expectantly. "You coming?"

He stepped out onto the river's moving surface and set off, following its current. Sakura stepped out after him and jogged to catch up. "Did I really cry in my sleep?" she asked, grimacing in dread. She'd never done that before – or at least not to her knowledge.

"It's what woke me up," he told her cheerfully. "That, and the fact you were calling my name. Under a different context that would have been flattering, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't that kind of dream."

Sakura almost sunk into the river from shock. She couldn't believe he'd just said that. She couldn't believe she talked in her sleep. Normally the sound of her own voice woke her up instantly… but obviously nightmares had a tighter grip on her than the usual dream. "You obviously didn't bother waking me up then," she pointed out.

"Every time I tried, you just punched me," Kakashi said a little mournfully. "I'm completely black and blue under this shirt, you know."

It was best if Sakura tried not to imagine what was under that shirt. It only made her feel warm and uncomfortable. "Sorry," she mumbled.

He shrugged. "If anyone asks, Matsura did it."

"Don't want anyone to know you got beaten up by an unconscious little girl, huh?" she guessed flatly.

"I'm not sure my dwindling reputation could take that kind of hit," he admitted.

Sakura snorted. "You certainly can't."

Kakashi gave her a irked look. "Do you remember a time when-"

"I used to look up to you and respect you?" she supplied. "Sure I do. It was during the ten minutes between hearing of your name and then seeing you fall for Naruto's stupid eraser-in-the-door prank."

He looked crestfallen. "I lost you guys that quickly, huh?" he sighed.

"Well…" Sakura cocked her head. "We thought you were kind of cool again after we met Gai-sensei. But you know, anyone looks cool next to that guy…"

Kakashi wasn't cheered by this at all.

Sakura pursed her lips and waited for him to say something. When he didn't, she hugged the vase closer and said, "I'm sorry for beating you up last night. And drugging you. And getting you covered in cement dust. And making you sleep on the forest floor with a headache."

There was a long pause of deliberation before he answered. "I'm sorry for making you cry."

She blanched. "Hey, you weren't responsible for-"

He gave her an indefinable look. The kind that said yeah, right. "You talked in your sleep, Sakura." He turned back to their winding river path. "If there's one thing more heartbreaking than seeing someone you care about cry, it's being the cause of it."

It was a nice sentiment, but Sakura's mind was tripping over one particular word.

Care?

"You care about me?" she whispered, keeping her eyes firmly fixed ahead of them, much like Kakashi was doing.

"I care about all of you, Sakura. Naruto and Sasuke too. You guys are like family to me," he sighed. "And you know that if there was anything bothering you… seriously… don't hesitate to tell me to back off and leave you the hell alone. I don't know about you, but I hate it when people see my sad face and won't stop asking me what's wrong or if I want to talk about it."

Kakashi had a sad face?

"What if I do want to talk about?" she asked apprehensively.

He skewed her a sideways glance. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

Sakura sucked on her bottom lip. "No… I mean… I don't know. I think it's too soon." And in all honesty, she didn't think she had the courage to talk to Kakashi about those kinds of things. But if not him, then who else?

She wouldn't be able to tell her mother. Even if she was allowed to talk about the mission with her, Sakura wouldn't. It would only make her mother worry, and would ultimately end up with Sakura being forced at knife point by her father to hand in her resignation as a ninja. The only reason her parents had let her become a kunoichi in the first place was because she'd promised them these kinds of missions were archaic and just didn't happen anymore.

She'd have to tell Tsunade. The report would require it. And although Sakura admired the woman greatly and trusted her implicitly, it was hard to be open with her about such things. She could spill her guts to Tsunade, and the most sympathetic response she would get would be an arched eyebrow and a soft 'hm'. If she was feeling generous. She was not a woman to be confided in.

And who else was there? Naruto? He'd feel awkward about being told such things. He'd try to offer some kind of condolence and sympathy, but ultimately he wouldn't understand and it would only upset him. Telling Sasuke was out of the question. Not unless she wanted to get stared at incredulously and told to stop moping around over nothing.

But it wasn't as if Sakura wanted to be sympathized with. She just wanted to tell someone who would understand… someone who would neither make a big deal nor tell her to suck it up. And frankly, the only person who came even remotely close to those requirements was walking right next to her.

Maybe she could keep it to herself? Not all burdens had to be shared. Maybe in time she would be able to walk five steps without having a nasty flashback to being violated by the most repulsive human being ever. It felt hard now because the wound in her chest was still relatively fresh. Maybe if she waited a few more nights…?

Sakura gazed dully at the water rushing on ahead of them. "Is it supposed to feel this bad…?" she asked him quietly.

Kakashi knew what she meant instantly. "I'd be surprised if it didn't."

That was all they said on the matter. They didn't talk much beyond that, aside from the occasional pause in their walk to try and calibrate their exact location. They were in agreement that the river was gradually curving east, towards the morning sun. Toward Konoha. And they would have kept following its winding route if a sudden burst of distant chakra hadn't made them both stop in their tracks.

"Did you feel that?" Sakura asked, even though she knew perfectly well that he had.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, looking off into the trees behind them. "Mm…" he hummed unhappily. "I think we're being followed."

No need to ask who by.

"Come on," Kakashi took off into the trees. "We need to get out of the open."

Sakura took off after him, silently cursing her lack of footwear. It was difficult keeping up with Kakashi at the best of times, but it was a tad harder when she was weighed down by a priceless pot and kept running across sharp rocks, prickly plants and the occasional squishy invertebrate. When the forest became thicker and the trees larger and broader, she gladly followed Kakashi up into their branches and away from the ground where their tracks would be easily detected.

"Want me to hold the vase?" he called over his shoulder as he dropped down onto the lower branch of another tree.

"I'm fine," she said tightly and followed him across the gap.

"We'll keep south," Kakashi explained. "If by chance they can still track us, we won't lead them to Konoha."

"Right," Sakura nodded.

The trees were beginning to thin out again, and the distance between one limb and the next grew larger. It was when Sakura was taking a leap across one of these large gaps that she realized Kakashi had stopped.

Directly in the place she was about to land.

"Watch-!"

Bumf!

Sakura's foot hit the branch just as the rest of her hit Kakashi, colliding with his back so forcefully that the whole tree limb shook and started to waver up and down in a threatening manner. Kakashi remained unfazed and only blinked back at her in mild surprise as if he'd just been hit upside the head by a weak gust of wind. "Ok there, Sakura?"

Sakura, on the other hand, felt like she'd just smacked into a brick wall. "Why did you stop?" she gasped angrily, checking over the vase in her hands to make sure it was unharmed.

He held a finger to his masked lips and took her elbow as he guided them closer towards the thicker end of the branch. There he leaned against the sloping trunk and gestured for her to make herself equally inconspicuous. Even though she wasn't at all sure what he'd seen or heard, she obeyed, crouching down low on the branch with a hand braced against the trunk and her back bumping Kakashi's leg.

She waited silently, keeping completely still save for breathing and blinking.

It wasn't long before two voices could be made out against the background bird song and insect clicks. They gradually grew louder until a movement caught Sakura's eye and she tilted her head just enough to see two ninjas stroll into the clearing beneath them.

"-I'm telling you, I haven't seen any tracks for at least two miles now…"

"No, they definitely came this way. This is where the tracks from the river led."

"What's up ahead?"

"A few villages… and then the border to Suna."

"Do you think they're sand nins then?"

"Of course, what else would they be? You saw what that girl did, right? Took out three walls without breaking a sweat. Suna has a reputation for having monstrously strong muscle-maiden kunoichi. She's obviously one of them."

At the touch of Kakashi's hand on her shoulder, Sakura suddenly realized that she'd been starting to rise from her crouch with the intention of showing just what a muscle-maiden could do to their fragile little bones and squishy organs. His hand made her remember herself though, and she settled back down, silently fuming and glaring so hard at the two men that it was a wonder they didn't feel it or burst into flames.

The men continued on their way, completely unaware that they'd just passed straight by their quarry. Kakashi waited until they were safely out of earshot before unfolding his arms and pushing away from the tree trunk. "We'll double back," he said quietly. "Circle west a bit and find a village to rest overnight. I don't think we'll be getting back to Konoha today."

It was either something about the way he said it that annoyed her, or she was still riding her wave of anger that the two tracker-nins had ignited. Whatever it was, Sakura just snapped. "You're giving a lot of orders for someone who isn't mission leader," she groused.

Kakashi turned to her expectantly. "You want to do something else?"

She wanted to go home. Now. The last thing she wanted to do was delay that goal any further, and she certainly didn't fancy messing around in foreign villages. But this was quite a selfish little desire, and no leader could afford to be selfish. "No," she sighed dully. "It's a good plan. I'm just saying… I am leader here, you know. I'd appreciate it if you bossed me around a little less."

He shrugged. "Habit." Then he promptly turned and stepped onto the next branch over. "Come on," he ordered. "This way."

Sakura gave a frustrated growl. "You're doing it again!"

They found a village a few miles further west, and even though it was only half the size of Konoha, it seemed to be twice as busy. It also appeared to be market day, as the main road running through the center of the village was packed out with carts, stalls and pedestrians. People were walking around with baskets of food and somewhere a farmer seemed to have lost control of his pig herd, as Sakura spotted at least twenty pink piglets running around between the legs of traders and villagers.

"We don't actually have any money, you know," Sakura pointed out to the man who would be leader.

"I know," he said, looking around with a finger braced against his chin. "We'll have to improvise."

"That sounds dishonest," she remarked darkly.

"It should," Kakashi replied lightly and turned to her. "Give me the vase for a minute."

She gave it to him without arguing, wondering what he planned to do with it. When he took out the large kunai from his hip, her mouth dropped open. "Wait – what do you think you're doing?"

He gave her a blank look. "The client has to pay for mission expenses, right?" he said.

With a deft flick of the blade, the diamond popped out of the cockerel's hand and landed in Kakashi's outstretched hand. Sakura ran her hands through her hair. "As mission leader, I have to say I'm really opposed to this…"

"Noted," was all he said before dragging her off in the direction of a jeweler's stall.

The man in the booth sat up as they approaching, smiling a broad grin that displayed a fair few missing teeth, although most of the remaining ones were embedded with diamonds. "Hello, sir," he said with simpering pleasantry. "How may I help you? Looking for a pretty necklace for your pretty daughter, perhaps?"

It took a moment for Sakura to realize the man was referring to her. She flushed with embarrassment – mostly for Kakashi's sake. Being mistaken to be old enough to be her father couldn't have been flattering (despite the fact he was old enough to be her father, and was only three years younger than her true biological dad). Then she felt a pique of worry. Having weird feelings for a man who was fourteen years older was a bit of a taboo, wasn't it?

Then she thought, screw it. Half the boys her age already crushed on the Hokage, and she was an old woman! If that was acceptable, then surely Sakura could be forgiven for thinking her teacher had a cute smile?

Right?

And if Kakashi was insulted by the jeweler's assumption, he didn't show it. In fact, he even played along with it. "No, no," he said pleasantly, giving a dismissive wave. "She's pretty enough as it is."

Sakura was glad she was behind Kakashi so he didn't see her fifteen-millionth blush of the day.

"We're looking to trade with you," Kakashi began.

"Mm." The man looked distinctly less happy now.

"We have a diamond…"

"Mm?" The man perked up.

"A blue diamond."

"Oh ho-! Really?" The man leant forward eagerly. "Can I see it?"

"Of course," Kakashi obligingly put his hand out and dropped the precious stone into the jeweler's grubby palm. Out came an eye piece, and the man began pouring over the small stone, licking his lips he squinted through the lens. Sakura tapped her foot as she waited for his conclusion.

"I see, I see… I'm afraid it isn't genuine, my friend. I can only offer you a small price for it…"

He had to be lying. For the sake of Sakura's virginity, he had better be. She couldn't bear the idea that she'd risked all that for a cheap fake.

"A fake, huh?" Kakashi folded his arms. "Ah… well, I guess it can't be helped. What price can you give us anyway?"

Sakura watched disbelievingly as the man named an appallingly low price, to which Kakashi agreed, and happily began forking over a few money bills and coins. He was all smiles as he waved them goodbye, and as soon as they turned away from the stall, Sakura nudged Kakashi hard in the arm. "Did we just get ripped off?"

"I believe so," he didn't sound like he cared, he was too busy counting out their money.

"Why didn't you haggle a bit?" she asked.

"I didn't want to take all his money," Kakashi said, handing her half of his wad of cash, "because we'll be taking the diamond back in the morning."

Sakura's eyebrows shot up. "I don't know… between cheating our rich client and cheating a humble merchant, I'd rather cheat the one who can afford it."

"Sakura, any man who can afford to stick diamonds between his teeth for fun can afford to cater to a pair of weary travelers for a night," he said reasonably. "Anyway, you have enough money there to buy some shoes and new clothes. Get something to eat as well."

Sakura looked at the money in her hand. "Ok…" That did sound awfully tempting.

"I'm going to take a look around, and we'll meet back here in three hours."

Sakura mentally added another hour to that estimate, considering it was Kakashi she was meeting.

"Have fun!" Kakashi have her a playful salute, before stuffing his hands into his pockets and weaving his way off into the crowd.

Sakura sighed and looked at the money again.

First stop: shoe shop.

Shopping was a past time that always lightened Sakura's spirits, no matter what the occasion. Even now, as she trudged around the busy streets with the constant unease of the mission pressing at the back of her mind, she couldn't help but feel a little happier.

There was something about the atmosphere – the choice and the selection. The money burning a hole in her pocket. It helped her concentrate on something other than Matsura and Kakashi. With three hours to kill, she took her time browsing around the clothing stores. She found a pair of black sandals that were not at all dissimilar to the ones she normally wore, and a pair of light brown pants that fastened tight at her knees. She would have preferred a skirt and a pair of shorts, but the only ones on offer were far too feminine and impractical for her work. She could live with pants until she got home… even if they were a little too similar to knickerbockers for comfort.

With a bit of searching she obtained a sleeveless green shirt and a matching headband to replace her hitai-ate. Again, she would have preferred something more red, but a muted green was better for camouflage, and besides, it went with her eyes. Her teammates could scoff, but as she always said, just because she was a ninja didn't mean she wasn't a woman. She'd be a disgrace to kunoichi everywhere if she couldn't color-coordinate her outfits.

After that, there was only enough money left over for a new pair of panties and a bra. Or a new pair of panties and a hot meal and bath.

Sakura weighed up her options. Bra… or hot meal and bath…?

Really, there wasn't much contest. Sakura hadn't eaten in over a day, and really… she'd passed the senbon test. She wasn't big enough to be in dire need of a bra.

Sakura munched on a stick of dango as she pattered through the streets, vase under one arm and shopping bags under the other, looking for a bathhouse. She asked for directions from a kindly old woman who pointed her towards the 'nicest' one in town. Sakura soon found her way there, and stopped in the doorway to check the prices.

Then she noticed something else.

Unisex?

Sakura narrowed her eyes skeptically. She'd heard of these kinds of bathhouses, but frankly she'd been under the impression that they'd gone out with the dinosaurs. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of bathing with men. Last week, perhaps, she wouldn't have minded. But today… the thought of being vulnerable to a man's ogling unnerved her somewhat.

She stood there for a long time, debating whether or not she was desperate enough for a bath to put up with that kind of inconvenience. She was beginning to smell a bit. And Kakashi's blood stains weren't cleaning themselves up.

Just when she was beginning to think that, yes, maybe she could do this, someone rather familiar brushed past her on his way into the bathhouse.

"Yo."

Kakashi raised a hand as he passed, but didn't look up at her. He had his nose buried in that infernal Icha Icha Chaos book. Obviously he'd found a bookshop. Sakura stared at him as he went into the bathhouse ahead of her.

On second thought…

Sakura turned and started walking away. Maybe there was another bathhouse she could try elsewhere? Or a nice clean river? Or a water trough for the pigs…?

When she could barely handle Kakashi's bare face without turning into a puddle of drool, she had a feeling she'd just plain embarrass herself if she saw Kakashi's bare anything-else.

When three hours was up and Sakura had finally found herself a suitable women-only bathhouse to get washed up in, she went back to the designated meeting place to wait for Kakashi.

An hour and a half after that, he arrived.

"Hey."

"You're late!" she snapped.

"I got lost…"

"In the bath?" She cocked an eyebrow at his still pruned fingers. He'd clearly only been out of the water for a few minutes.

"Anyway!" he said loudly, diverting the conversation indiscreetly. "I picked this up for you."

He unsnapped the button on his pouch and took something out. When he placed it in her hand, Sakura let out a gasp of delight.

A shuriken holster!

She nearly went teary-eyed, as she cradled the weapons reverently. "I love you!" she squeaked.

He gave an embarrassed laugh and ruffled her hair. "I love you too."

At the exact same moment their grins faded as they realized what they'd said and how odd it sounded. Kakashi's hand dropped rather limply from her head and he balled it against his mouth as he gave an awkward sort of cough.

Sakura immediately became a stuttering wreck. "W-Well, you know what I-I mean. A-As a friend and all that-"

"I know what you meant," he said quickly, giving her a reassuring smile.

Good.

And yet… still incredibly awkward…

Sakura cleared her throat and bent to strap the holster around her right thigh, letting her hair hang forward to hide blush number fifteen-million-and-one. When she straightened, Kakashi was already walking away with that wretched book in his hand. "It's going to get dark soon," he said absently. "We'd better find an inn before they get booked up."

"Right." Sakura had to jog to catch up.

The first inn they found was already out of vacancies, but at least the keeper was good enough to give them directions to a second more expensive inn further into the village. By the time they dragged their weary feet through the door of this inn, it was already getting dark. Fortunately though, there were still vacancies.

"We can't actually afford two rooms here," Kakashi said quietly as he counted and recounted the left over money.

Sakura folded her arms. "Told you you should have haggled a bit more…"

Resigned, Kakashi handed over the money. "We'll take one room with two singles," he said to the man behind the registration desk.

"No more singles," said the man. "Only doubles."

Kakashi drummed his fingers once against the sticky bar surface. "Is that double doubles?"

"Single doubles, sir."

"No double singles?"

"Just doubles, sir. Unless you want double single doubles."

All these soubles and dingles were beginning to confuse Sakura. It seemed you had to speak a whole new special language in order to make arrangements with innkeepers. "What's going on?" she asked Kakashi.

He sighed. "We can get a room, but the only vacancies he has have just one bed. A double bed."

"If you want sir," the innkeeper began, "we have a camp bed that we can put up for your daughter."

Ouch.

Twice in one day? That was a bit much…

Needless to say, Kakashi's reaction this time was less restrained. "She's not my daughter," he said shortly, clearly not amused. Both Sakura and the keeper took half a step away from him. Evidently he could be a little sensitive about his age – probably because he wasn't actually that old. "But a camp bed would be lovely," he went on curtly. "Thank you."

The keeper nodded nervously and pointed up a staircase behind him. "We'll set it up in room three for you and your… companion, sir. Drinks are served in the bar until eleven."

Even though they were both quite tired, neither felt it was late enough to head to bed just yet, so they trundled off in search of the bar instead.

"Lemonade, please!" Sakura announced brightly to the bartender.

"Milk for me, thanks," Kakashi added.

They were both extraordinarily lame, Sakura decided, as two extraordinarily non-alcoholic drinks were set down before them. Everyone else in the bar was happily guzzling down all sorts of strong spirits and sake. But they were on a mission, and Sakura felt compelled to behave herself around her former superior. She sat the vase down on the bar next to her and chanced a glance at Kakashi.

"I didn't know you liked milk," she remarked.

"I don't," he said, rubbing his one visible eye with two fingers. "It's animal baby food in liquid form that's secreted by stinking, four-legged mammals that leak two liters of mucus and saliva a day."

Wow… the guy really didn't like milk. At all. "Then why did you order it?" she asked.

He sighed. "It helps me sleep."

Sakura grinned and was about to say, "Maybe you should just get drugged again?" when she realized that getting Kakashi drugged involved either some breast fondling or breast kissing, neither of which Sakura wanted to bring up in current company, even if she had washed the last traces of tranquilizer from her skin. Instead she just hunkered down and concentrated on sucking up half her glass of lemonade through her straw in one go as she tried to think of something else to say.

It was odd. She'd never really been in this situation before. Of course, she'd been alone with Kakashi plenty of times, but never for anything as mundane as having a drink. Normally it was all about training and missions and more training. When they did go out for a drink, there was always someone else accompanying them – usually Naruto, and sometimes Sasuke. And he was always the first to leave, having consumed his drink through his mask in time to spot the bill coming their way. And after Kakashi left, it would then be Sasuke, until it wound up just being Sakura and Naruto bickering alone throughout the evening over which was better – bio-detergent or non-bio.

This was virtually a first time experience. Sakura just wished she didn't feel so awkward all of a sudden. She'd never had trouble talking to him before, but now it was almost like talking to Sasuke – struggling to think of something to say that wouldn't make him look at her as if she was a dribbling idiot. Right then and there, Sakura realized it was a crush. Plain and simple. It was the only explanation for all the butterflies in her stomach and her inability to talk as freely as she normally did.

Then Sakura realized something else.

"You've taken off your mask," she said, blinking at him.

Kakashi glanced at her. "Is that a problem?"

"Well… this has to be the fifth time in two days," she said.

"You counted?" He sounded amused. He looked amused too; his dimple was showing.

"It's hard not to notice." Sakura shrugged, ogling that irresistible dip in his cheek. "But isn't it a bit odd? Nothing for five years and then – BAM – five times in a row."

Kakashi shrugged back at her. "Well, you've already seen my face. It seems silly to hide it from you now," he said simply. "Besides I can't drink milk through a mask… it leaves a stain."

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura rolled the ice around her glass. "Why do you wear a mask?" she asked, being deceptively casual about it.

"Oh… many reasons." He didn't elaborate.

"Like?" she pressed.

"When the flu season comes, I'm usually the only one left standing. I get my pick of all the best missions then," he said.

"That's a stupid reason."

"I said I had many reasons. I didn't say they were any good." He took a swig of his milk.

Sakura grinned as his glass came away, leaving behind a broad white moustache. "Kakashi-sensei obviously can't handle his drink," she remarked with a light laugh as she reached across to wipe the milk away with her thumb.

It struck her that she could be seriously invading the man's personal space by doing this, but it was too late by then. Her thumb was already brushing against his upper lip. Kakashi's face was unusually blank for lacking his mask, though he'd gone oddly still. Sakura started to pull back, when Kakashi caught her wrist between his fingers. He was staring at her thumb.

Shit… Sakura bit her lip. That was too weird, wasn't it? He's SO going to kill me…

A pair of incredibly warm lips suddenly closed on the pad of her thumb, and Sakura nearly slipped straight off her stool. She gaped softly at her former teacher as he proceeded to – and really, there was no other word to describe it - kiss the milk off her thumb.

The slide of a scorching tongue against her sensitive skin. The scrape of what could have been the elusive canine. Something shot straight up her arm and down into the pit of her stomach where it curled down lower, making her clench her thighs against the sudden tension between them. It was getting hard to breathe.

It was only brief, though it felt much longer to Sakura. One suck. Two sucks. Then he dropped her hand and wiped away the rest of his mustache away with the back of his glove. "Thanks," he said absentmindedly.

Contrasting to how hot his mouth had been, the moisture on her thumb now felt cold. Sakura could only stare at him, cheeks burning. Ever so slowly, Kakashi turned to meet her stare with one of his own; unreadable and as patient as ever. A group of men behind them were getting a little rowdy, and a glass smashed on the floor. Neither girl nor man broke eye contact. Nothing much existed or mattered beyond what was going on between them.

Sakura wished she knew what was going on between them.

For once, she didn't think Kakashi knew either.

Her thumb burned in her lap.

He hadn't quite gotten rid of all his moustache.

Suddenly Sakura took a sharp intake of breath. "I'm tired," she announced stiffly. "I'm going to bed."

Kakashi's eyebrows twitched up briefly in acknowledgement, and he went back to nursing his milk as if nothing had passed between them at all. "I'll try not to wake you when I come up," he said.

"Right." She slipped awkwardly onto her feet. "Thanks."

"Goodnight."

"Night." She began walking away very quickly.

"Sakura?"

She spun around, heart in throat. "Yes?"

Kakashi pointed at the vase.

"Oh… right. Thanks."

"Sure."

"…um… goodnight, sensei."

"… night, Sakura-chan."

Sakura frowned at the added suffix to her name. Normally he only called her that when he was teasing her, but in this context it sounded almost mocking. She turned and walked out of the room as calmly as she could. Her heart was pounding so loud it was a wonder only she could hear it. She stalked up the stairs the innkeeper had pointed out before and quickly located room number three.

It was small and cramped with one double bed taking up the majority of floor space. At the foot of the bed lay a futon with the quilts tucked back invitingly. But Sakura stomped straight past it and landed on the bigger bed with a hefty flop. Damn it, she deserved dibs on the comfy mattress for managing to live through that without going into cardiac arrest.

It had to have been deliberate… people didn't make those kinds of intimate slips without some idea of what they were doing.

Honestly. What was that man thinking?

In the bar below, a room full of semi-sober patrons looked on mutely as a white-haired ninja proceeded to bash his head repeatedly against the bar.

"What was I thinking?"

TBC