Unexpected Detours, part 5
Han lay awake after their lovemaking, his mind processing Leia's revelation. Someone had hurt her. Not recently, but recently enough that she was still dealing with the after effects. Someone had hurt her and he was going to kill him. He was fairly certain that no one had hurt her since their meeting over a year ago; he had been paying close attention to her ever since then. But before then…
His thoughts stumbled to a halt as he recalled the fateful day they had met. She had been prisoner on board the Death Star, scheduled for termination. With his past experience in the Imperial Navy, he knew what happened to prisoners. Especially those that were no longer valuable enough to keep alive. Especially prisoners that were as beautiful as Leia. He had always assumed that her diplomatic status had shielded her from such treatment, but now he wasn't nearly as certain.
He tightened his embrace in sympathy as the horror of what she might have endured flashed through his mind. She hadn't seemed injured when he and Luke had rescued her. But after, as they made the trip to Yavin, he couldn't help but recall their brief encounter aboard the Falcon. He had always thought that it had been that event that had cemented his friendship with Leia. In his mind, he replayed the events of that short trip in vivid detail…
"At least the information in Artoo is still intact." He could still hear her voice as if she had just spoken the words aloud.
"What's so important? What's he carrying?"
"The technical readouts of that battle station. I only hope that when the data's analyzed a weakness can be found. It's not over yet."
"It is for me, sister. Look, I ain't in this for your revolution and I'm not in it for you, princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money."
"You needn't worry about your reward. If money is all that you love than that's what you'll receive." To Luke she added as she had exited the cockpit: "Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything. Or anybody."
He could still recall the hostility that had been in her eyes as she left. It had been that hostility and her departing comment to Luke that had compelled him to chase after her, to justify his stance. He had wanted to explain his debt to Jabba and how his life, and Chewie's, had depended on his repaying that debt. He had been full of good intentions when he had followed her. He couldn't remember what had happened to those intentions when he finally found her.
She had been standing in front of two doors, one that lead to the sleeping quarters and the other to the storage area. She had seemed to be contemplating them both.
"What's the matter, your worship? Lost? Or are you waiting for a servant to open the door so you can pass through?"
The instant the sarcastic remarks had left his lips, he had regretted them. He hadn't followed her to continue the argument that they seemed to have started the moment they had met. She had turned then to face him and had he not been paying attention, he might have missed the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.
"I am not lost! And I'm not… I will not justify myself to a scoundrel like you. I'm just… I'm…" she had faltered, unable to complete the sentence.
As he recalled the moment, he realized that even she hadn't known what she was going to say, hadn't known why she had been standing there nor where she had been going. The first tear had escaped and he had watched as it traced a path down her too-pale cheek before she had turned her back on him. He remembered feeling so awkward in that moment. He had wanted to earn her respect - even then he knew that was why he had chased after her - and instead, he had managed to insult her further.
'Her whole world was just destroyed, literally. And all you can do is insult her royal status… royal status on a world that doesn't even exist anymore.' He had silently berated himself, preparing to leave her to her tears and privacy. He still remembered clearly the way her body had seemed to sway before him - it was that unsteadiness that had driven him to reach out to her. She had flinched at the initial weight of his hand on her shoulder, but a mumbled apology and a small step that brought him to her and then she had been sobbing forcefully into his chest.
He had always thought that those tears had been for Alderaan. But as he looked back on that moment, he couldn't help but remember the whimper as he had tightened his arms around her; the utter exhaustion that had allowed him to carry her to a bunk without protest; the bruises he had discovered that she had explained away as injuries from their battle with the garbage chute. When he thought back to that moment knowing what he knew now, he realized that although her rescue had been timely, it may have been too late at the same time. Her tears had been for Alderaan, but they had been for herself as well.
He pressed a kiss against her ear, whispering, promising to keep her safe from any further harm. Gently, so as to not wake her, he pulled her closer to him, fitting her body perfectly against his own. Smoothing her hair, he slept with her scent in his dreams. And for the first time, in the morning, he woke with her warmth in his arms.
"Morning, sweetheart."
Han's voice rasped with sleep and as she shifted, she realized that there might be another reason for his raspy voice. She stretched lazily, eyes closed, unwilling to greet the new day, yet. His hands traced heated paths along her hips, while he nuzzled the curve of her neck.
"Got time for a kaffe?" His voice rumbled against her ear.
"Mmm, depends. What time is it?" She was impressed with her ability to form a coherent sentence in spite of the distraction of Han's warmth.
There was a pause and she could feel him straining to read the chrono that sat on the shelf behind him. "Almost oh-six hundred. Why don't you use the 'fresher and I'll get started."
Leia followed the exquisite smell of freshly brewed kaffe to the small galley of the Falcon. She felt the blush rise to her cheeks as Chewie growled a greeting from the table, or at least she presumed it was a greeting. She barely managed to mumble a "good morning" in return before joining Han at the small counter. She sipped quietly from her cup, willing the colour to fade from her cheeks. Logically, she knew that she shouldn't be embarrassed to see Chewbacca so early in the morning. She knew that he had to have some knowledge of her relationship with Han. She just hadn't been prepared to be faced with his knowledge so soon after she had accepted that she was, in fact, in a relationship.
Chewie growled a question then and she looked to Han inquisitively, promising herself silently that she would instantly begin improving on her understanding of the Wookie language.
"You can thank Leia for that," Han answered, addressing Chewie before taking a bite of a piece of toast. "She wouldn't let me leave them for you."
Leia answered Chewie's growl without translation: "If that was 'a thank you', then you're welcome. But really, you shouldn't let him get away with leaving all the dishes for you. It's completely unfair."
"Hey!" Han's voice sounded offended despite being muffled by the food in his mouth. Swallowing, he continued: "I do the cooking. He does the cleaning. That's the deal. How can you say that's not fair?"
Leia hid her smile behind the rim of her cup. She almost felt like laughing at the look of insult that adorned Han's face. She might have if she hadn't just realized how sexy he looked so early in the morning. He had taken the time pull on a pair of pants that were so threadbare they looked as though he had been wearing them every morning for several years. She might describe them as sleepwear if she didn't already know that he slept nude. He had taken the time to put on pants, but that was about all he had taken the time to do. He stood before her shirtless, a day's worth of stubble darkening his cheeks. His hair stood up all over his head and her fingers itched to smooth it, or to mess it further. Her eyes travelled the expanse of his bare chest, taking in its well-moulded form before continuing their trek downward. She laughed out loud then, her eyes resting on his bare feet. For some reason, the sight of Han Solo's bare feet made her laugh.
She realized how incongruous her being there seemed. She stood in the galley fully dressed with the exception of her outer coat. She had even taken the time to pull on her snow boots and to braid her hair. She looked out of place in this casual morning routine. She was invading the partners' daily ritual and she knew that she didn't belong.
Han filled her cup without asking and silently offered her a piece of toast. She was about to refuse - the toast, the kaffe, the comfortable morning routine, all of it - when another realization pushed its way into her consciousness. The only reason she felt out of place with the pair was of her own doing. She was the one who had tried to thrust propriety into the scene. Had she not recognized the inappropriateness of her dress, she wouldn't have felt out of place. Han and Chewie had accepted her intrusion on their morning willingly. They had, in fact, made her a part of it.
"Come on, Leia, you should eat something," Han broke the silence after watching the myriad of emotions play across her face. "I'm sure you have a long day planned and you'll probably forget to eat lunch and maybe even dinner. At least have something now."
"You're right. And my father did teach me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day." She accepted the food - and the conversation - and moved to a seat at the small table next to Chewie. "My question though, Han, is why are we eating toast while Chewie is eating…" she paused to take a bite of her toast.
"Last night's dinner," Han completed the sentence for her. He shrugged before answering: "I didn't think you would want that much in the morning."
The trio continued conversing over their kaffes until Leia left to prepare for an early morning meeting. Han and Chewie discussed how they would proceed with their repairs on the Falcon. The ship was already in better running condition than it had been in a long time. If it hadn't been for the time he was getting to spend with Leia, Han knew that he would be chafing at the inactivity. Since arriving at Hoth, his and Chewie's services had been under utilized. Except for the odd scouting missions - that they had accepted in spite of the cold - they hadn't been asked to help in any other way. Hanging around the hanger at least garnered them the occasional request for advice on how to repair something or the temporary use of a tool. But other than these rare instances, the rebels left the pair on their own.
Han knew that if it hadn't been for Leia - and Luke, the kid had become a good friend - the Falcon would've taken to the stars by now. He wanted to spend time with Leia, but he needed activity in his day. He wasn't meant for the life of a Hutt; he couldn't just sit around while beings worked around him. He couldn't, and neither could Chewie, continue to pass the days this way, even if the days ended with nights spent with Leia.
He thought of the emotions that had played across Leia's face that morning. Something had kept his tongue still and allowed her to work out the conflict on her own and he was glad that she had and that she had done so without any influence on his part. Maybe that wasn't entirely true. He had managed to control the desire that had surged within him when he woke with her in his arms. He had managed not to make a single sarcastic remark when she had come to the galley looking as if she was ready for a briefing. 'Who can do that that early in the morning?' He even had managed not to drag her back to his cabin after she had eyed him up and down shamelessly; although her perusal had ended in laughter, and he really wasn't sure what that had meant. His restraint might have helped her to relax into their routine, but at least she had done so on her own. He was willing to ask her to stay, but he wasn't willing to ask her to want to stay.
That night, Leia didn't join him for dinner, but she did stay for kaffe in the morning. When he returned to his cabin to dress, he noticed the light shirt and sweatpants that she had worn for breakfast folded neatly on the corner of the bed. He smiled and placed them in the drawer with his own sleep pants, whistling as he left to search out General Rieekan.
A/N: Please review. (Sorry, no whipped-cream Han Solo's to offer this time… I used them all up. I guess you could say I ate them all up, but that would bring the line down a whole other train of thought and I don't think we should go there now.)
Also, thanks to everyone who's come this far with me. I hope you continue for the rest of the trip, which I must admit might turn out to be a bit of a journey. When I first started writing this story, I had a rough outline of where I would take Han and Leia. Amazingly after five chapters, we still have quite a few stops still to make. So once again, please review. It will make the journey much easier for me.
Scarlet.