Cold, stiff and sore, Remus - man-shaped and weak once more - swam reluctantly towards consciousness. This was always the worst time; when it was all he could do to find his bed and sleep until the afternoon. His head ached, and he knew that as soon as he tried to move, there would be pain.

Last night had been the worst full moon he had experienced in a long time.

Does the potion make it that much easier? Or does dependence on it make not having it harder? he thought fuzzily.

He wondered how long he could get away with not opening his eyes.

He could tell from the feel of the air and the ground beneath him that he was outdoors. Even though it was early June, there was a chill in the air, and the birds were singing loudly enough to hurt his tender head, so it could not be long past dawn.

A twig snapped nearby. His eyes popped open, unfocussed. The sight that greeted him made him think for one absurd moment that he was seventeen again. Why else would be be lying, cold and naked, in the Forbidden Forest, with a large, black dog approaching him?

"Padfoot," he croaked, his tongue feeling sticky in his dry mouth.

The dog stopped and stood perfectly still, watching him.

Gingerly, he pushed himself upright. He had been right; it did hurt, but he managed to maneuver himself into a wobbling crouch. He extended his hand in a loose fist, palm down, as one did when meeting a strange dog for the first time.

The black dog slowly resumed its approach until it was close enough to sniff Remus's outstretched fingers. After a moment, it gave the man's knuckles a tentative lick.

A dry sob that Remus had not known he was suppressing welled up in his throat as he fell forward, arms tight around the dog's shaggy neck. Burying his face in the thick, black fur, he breathed in the doggy scent, feeling his tears dampen the fur into spikes and clumps as he sobbed painfully against the beast that had stalked his dreams for so many years, only to disappear upon waking.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot," he gulped when he had breath enough. "So sorry -"

He drew back, tears blurring his vision as he stroked the familiar long-muzzled face. He was so close, he could see white hairs sprinkled among the black, marking the passage of time. A warm tongue flicked out to taste the salt tears on his cheek.

Remus made a choked sound that was somewhere between a laugh and another sob. He fell backwards from his crouch, his back and head resting against the tree he had awoken under. The dog playfully licked his face.

"Aren't you going to say something?" he laughed.

The beast backed up and transformed into a stark naked Sirius, grinning sheepishly.

Remus blinked. It was the nature of the Animagus spell that, when a person transformed, he kept the clothes he had been wearing. If he had been wearing any.

"I went for a dip in the lake while I was waiting for you," Sirius explained, grinning wider. "Buried my clothes. Once I had them off, they really didn't seem worth putting back on again."

"And here I thought it was the wolf going back to sleep that made you smell better," Remus said with an answering smile.

"Well, I didn't get much of a wash," Sirius shrugged. "I mostly had to do it as a dog, since it was starting to get light out, and the water's less cold that way, so I just rinsed away the worst of it. I was hoping -" He stopped and blushed.

"What?" asked Remus. Ask and it's yours, he wanted to say, but it was too soon and he felt too shy.

"I went back to the Shack while you were sleeping. I thought maybe you might still keep a spare set of robes there. I brought them for you." Sirius inclined his head in the direction from which he had come, and Remus could see a rumpled pile of clothing. "I found your wand in the grass while I was there. Brought that too," he mumbled.

Remus narrowed his eyes. The wand would have been much closer to the castle than the Whomping Willow. Sirius had taken a risk by venturing out in the open like that.

"Thanks," he said.

Sirius blushed again. "So I was hoping that, maybe, if you knew a charm - It's just been so long since I've been clean that I've forgotten what it feels like."

"All right," Remus said, laughing softly. "But you'll have to bring the wand to me. I haven't the strength to make it all the way over there just yet."

He watched with quiet enjoyment as Sirius rose, walked away, and returned with the clothing over his arm. He handed the wand to Remus.

When the cleaning charm had been performed, Sirius asked shyly, "Do you need help getting dressed?"

"No," Remus replied. "Well, yes. But I'm not ready to get dressed just yet."

The June sunlight was beginning to warm the earth, the grass, and his aching limbs. It felt good - liberating - to be lying here, naked in morning light. Sirius flopped down beside him, leaning back against the broad trunk of the tree.

"Merlin, it feels good to be clean!" he declared, stretching luxuriantly.

Remus enjoyed this performance out of the corner of his eye, but Sirius caught him watching. Remus tried to smile, but he felt suddenly awkward, and he could see that Sirius did as well.

"I'm sorry," said Sirius softly, looking down at himself. "I guess I'm not much to look at anymore."

You're always beautiful to me, Remus wanted to say, but he felt too shy. Instead, he reached out to lay his hand over Sirius's, squeezing gently. Sirius looked up to meet his eyes again, and Remus held his gaze, trying to say with his eyes what he could not with words just yet, and Sirius seemed to understand. The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he returned the squeeze.

"How've you been, Moony?" he asked.

Remus smiled ruefully. "Terrible. I've been a miserable, moody, unbearable wreck of a man."

Sirius's gray eyes were sad. "I'm sorry, Moony."

"Don't be sorry, Padfoot," he said, giving the other man's hand another squeeze. "That's all over now."

"How did you make it through?"

Remus shrugged. "I tried everything from alcohol to drugs to religion, looking for everything from revenge to forgiveness to oblivion. There were days I didn't think I'd make it through, and whole months that went by without my noticing them."

"So -" Sirius gave him a tiny smile. "You missed me?

"Completely."

They gazed at one another for a moment, not speaking, before shyness overwhelmed them again.

"Tell me -" Remus cleared his throat. "Tell me what happened last night. After I -"

Sirius told him about Peter's disappearance and the Dementors and Harry's Patronus, which he had not seen for himself.

"It's a stag," Remus said. "Harry's Patronus."

Sirius was still. "Prongs?" he said at last, the single word catching in his throat.

Remus nodded. "Go on," he encouraged.

Sirius told him about the long, confession-filled talk with Dumbledore, the argument between the headmaster, Snape, and the Minister for Magic over what should be done with him, and finally the daring double rescue perpetrated by Harry and Hermione.

Remus smiled. "They managed to save you and the Hippogriff as well? If those two didn't get along so well, I would swear they were Lily and James reincarnated."

"Clever, brave and reckless. Gryffindors through and through." Sirius sounded proud.

"So where's the Hippogriff now?" asked Remus curiously.

"Oh, I chained him up back near Hagrid's hut. Seems he doesn't like the smell of werewolf very much," he added apologetically.

"So - er - what happens now?" Remus asked. "I assume you're not going to make me a cup of tea?" They both grinned.

"You and your Muggle tea," said Sirius, shaking his head.

"Remember how I used to get up in the morning while you were still asleep, and make the tea?" Remus asked dreamily. "And then I would bring it to you with the Daily Prophet, and we would drink it in bed. I wish I could do that now. I seem to recall I got you hooked on Muggle tea as well. With just a touch of honey."

"You must be getting old, Moony," Sirius teased. "You forget that, on the morning after the full moon, it's my job to make the tea. God, I could kill for a spot of Earl Grey just now!"

The mutual remembrance felt good to Remus. They could not simply pick up where they had left off, but they were not starting with nothing, either.

"So what does happen now?" Remus asked again.

Sirius looked uncomfortable. "I suppose I'm still on the run. Without Peter, I haven't got a hope of clearing my name."

Unconsciously, Remus clutched at Sirius's hand, holding it tightly. No, he thought. It's too soon. I can't lose you again!

Sirius seemed to read his thought, and looked up into his panicked brown eyes.

"It's all right, Moony; it's not forever. Peter's out there, and now that I'm not the only one who knows it, he can be found again. For now, I'm content knowing that my name is cleared as far as you and Harry are concerned."

Harry. It was easier to talk about Harry than about each other.

"He's a clever boy," Remus said. "Lily and James would have been proud."

"Tell me about him?" Sirius asked, resting his head against Remus's shoulder. "What's he like? And his friends. Are they - close?"

Remus knew what Sirius was asking. Both men had known hard times and loneliness, and the thing that had saved them both from themselves had been the miraculous bond of the Marauder friendship. Sirius would want the same for Harry.

"Yes," Remus replied confidently. "Those three go everywhere together. I fear the Muggles Harry grew up with - Lily's family, you know - were the really awful sort. But now he's here, and he's safe, and he can build his own family, like we did."

By now, all four of their hands were laced together, their feet intertwined.

"And the girl?" Sirius asked. "You said she's like Lily. You think she and Harry will -"

"No," Remus grinned wolfishly. "Hermione's all for Ron. The pheromones the two of them give off around one another! It's a wonder they can't smell them!"

Sirius laughed. "You and your wolf senses. You could set up a matchmaking service. Or at least a 'knocking people on the head and pointing out the obvious to them' service. It's a wonder you never guessed about me, back when -"

Remus was still grinning. "It's a wonder I never did. Well, what did I know back then? Who isn't hopeless about things like that when he's young?"

"Who indeed?" Sirius smiled up into the branches of the tree overhead. "Well, they're young yet. Plenty of time for them to figure it out."

Remus frowned then, looking at their intertwined hands. "Do you think Harry will hate me, now that he knows what I am?"

"You forget, Moony," Sirius settled himself a little closer, so that their knees touched, "Harry was raised in the Muggle world. He doesn't have werewolf prejudice. No, he's more likely to think ill of us for what we are."

"You know, I don't think he will." Remus said thoughtfully. "It might take him a while to get his head around the idea of his professor and his godfather being, well -" He shrugged. "But like I said, he's a clever boy. And that Hermione is sharp as a tack; she won't let her boys get away with having stupid prejudices if she can talk them out of it."

Sirius sighed. "I hope you're right. We did convince Harry in under an hour that I'm not actually a mass-murdering psychopath, to the point that he was ready to come and live with me. Maybe we don't have anything to worry about. Werewolf, poof, whatever. He'll love you. What's not to love?"

"Padfoot, I -" Remus faltered.

"What's wrong, Moony?"

It was no good holding back. The words tumbled out in a rush. "What if it's been too long? What if we've left it too late? I mean, so much has happened. We were twenty-one the last time we were together - just kids. Can we really -?"

"Moony," Sirius said, quieting him. He turned so that he was kneeling beside Remus, looking him squarely in the eye. "Do you remember the words we said?"

Remus knew the words he meant. They had said them the same day as Harry's christening.

"'As long as the moon waxes and wanes,'" Sirius began. "'As long as the stars shine in the heavens' -"

"'As long as I bear your mark on my body,'" Remus whispered, and reached out a tentative finger to trace the scripted "R", stark against the pale skin of Sirius's breast, "'I am yours.'"

"I had a little window in my cell," Sirius said softly, "and I used to sit at night in the moonlight and remember those words. We're still bound, you and I. I know you're scared. I am too. But we still have to try, don't we?"

Remus's throat felt dry, and he had to blink away moisture from his eyes, but he nodded wordlessly.

"There's no rush," Sirius said, sitting down beside him again. "After all, we have the rest of our lives."

"No rush," whispered Remus.

Sirius's arms were around him then, pulling him against his thin chest. Remus closed his eyes and listened to the slow beat of his heart, at once familiar and strange.

"You're right, Moony; I'm a changed man. For one thing, I've finally learned some patience."

Remus could feel the laugh in his chest that did not quite escape his throat. The old Sirius had never known patience. He wanted what he wanted now, and if he could not have it, he was moody and petulant until he got it.

"For twelve years, I had nothing to do but think," he continued. "And most of the time, I thought about you. James and Lily were dead, and that was terrible. Peter was a traitor and I wanted to kill him for it. But that wasn't the worst of it' the worst of it was knowing that you were out there, thinking I had been the one - that you hated me -."

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius. "I never hated you, Padfoot. Not truly. I thought I should, and I felt guilty that I didn't. I could never make any sense of it, though. My heart was broken and my soul was torn out of me and I never understood why. The pieces didn't add up. It was never hatred or anger I felt; it was confusion - confusion that you could have done such a thing - that I couldn't stop loving you."

Sirius was silent at that, but no verbal acknowledgment was required. Instead, Remus felt a hand against the back of his head, stroking his hair.

"Maybe it's wrong that I can hate Peter and want him dead for what he did," Remus murmured, "but I was never able to hate you."

"I guess that's one less thing to hold Peter accountable for," Sirius said at last. "Looks like there's one thing he didn't manage to destroy. Though not for lack of trying."

Remus nodded, eyes closed. "It was bloody irresponsible of me to go off like that last night," he said. "Without taking Snape's blasted potion. But damn it, Sirius," he raised his head to look into those gray eyes again. "I had to see you - had to know the truth of it from your own lips."

"I wanted to leave you a letter, explaining it all," Sirius confessed. "I wanted to find some way to tell you, without the risk of you turning me in. I'm sorry," he added, "but I wasn't sure you wouldn't."

"That's all right, Padfoot," Remus sighed him, once again laying his head against Sirius's chest. "I didn't know what I would do, either. Why didn't you write the letter, though?"

"I could never find the time to get all of it down," Sirius replied. "I tried, but I'd spent so much time as a dog that my hands were weak and writing was awkward. They cramped up. It was so hard to find the words, too. I guess my brain was getting doggy, too," he said sheepishly. "I didn't seem to be any good at thinking in complete sentences anymore."

"But surely you could have found a way -"

"I tried," Sirius said. "At Christmas, when I gave Harry the broom, I left you that lock of my hair. I wanted to prove I trusted you, and that you could trust me."

"I kept trying to come up with explanations," Remus confessed. "I couldn't make any of it make sense. I was worried that you were trying to appeal to me because I was the only one gullible enough to believe you, but that didn't seem to fit, either."

"I had hoped -" Sirius began tentatively. "I thought maybe, with the hair, you could do some sort of spell. You know; to show whether the person it came from was trustworthy."

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered again. "I should have thought of that. And I should never have doubted you. And I bloody well should have gone to see you after -" He found he could not say "Azkaban". "- after you went away. I should have at least heard your side of things. But I was such a coward. Dumbledore wanted me to go to you; he thought you might confess something to me."

Sirius was silent for a moment. "There were times I thought about confessing," he said slowly. "When they asked me about you. Because if I said I'd done it, and it was all my fault, then I could say it wasn't yours - that you had no part in it."

"Ever-faithful Padfoot. How could I have doubted you?"

"It's not your fault, Moony." Sirius's hand traced down his spine, making him shiver pleasantly. "Peter's not stupid. He planned it well, and he broke us both. I used to hope, after a while, that you'd been able to get on with your life. I tried to get word, whenever someone visited - that place. But either they wouldn't talk to me, or they just gave me a blank look. I didn't even know if you were alive."

Remus shrugged. "I didn't know if I was alive. I was numb for so long."

"I kept hoping to find some sign, or hear word of you after I broke out, but there was nothing," Sirius continued. "I had to get to Hogwarts and protect Harry, so I couldn't spend a lot of time looking. On the way up, I kept promising myself that as soon as I took care of Peter, I'd come and find you."

He wriggled down into a more comfortable position, pulling Remus close beside him until their hips and knees touched and their feet tangled together again.

"But as soon as I came into the castle that first time, I could smell you. I thought at first it was a ghost scent - my wishful thinking and you having been there so long ago - but it was too strong, and I knew you were there somewhere, and I had to see you."

Remus remembered waking in his room on Halloween morning, black dog hairs clinging to the bedspread, and how it had affected him.

"I'm glad you came that night," he whispered. "And Christmas, too. I've been so lonely, Padfoot -" his voice broke and a tear slid down his cheek.

Suddenly, warm lips were there, kissing it away. Remus drew back in surprise and stared into Sirius's questioning eyes.

I could kiss him right now, he thought. I want to. But if we start down that road - there's no time.

Reluctantly, he laid his head against Sirius's chest again, and listened to the now-rapid beat.

After a moment's silence, Remus spoke, trying to find a way to answer the question he had seen in Sirius's eyes. "You said you'd hoped I had got on with my life. I didn't." He struggled to find the words. "I've been alone a long time."

He felt rather than heard Sirius's sigh of relief.

"There was a time when I thought I ought to try and find someone," he continued. "Just someone to be with for a while, to not be alone. I thought it might help me - get over you." The words sounded like a confession.

"But?" Sirius asked softly.

"But in the end, I realised that I didn't want to get over you," he said. "I didn't want to wipe you from my memory. I wanted to be able to remember the good things, and bringing someone else to my bed felt like a desecration. It didn't seem right."

"I'm sorry," Sirius murmured into his hair. "I'm sorry you were alone for so long. That's another thing Peter will pay for, when the time comes. But I'm glad," he added. "I'm glad that, even after everything, I never really lost you. I guess I'm just selfish that way." There was a smile in his voice.

"I love you, Sirius," Remus replied simply. "Sorry, glad, selfish, absent; I'm always yours."

"Soppy git," said Sirius affectionately. "Blubbing like a girl all down my front."

Remus choked back a laugh, sniffed, and wiped his eyes. "That obvious, eh? Well, I believe I have good cause. You're here and you're innocent. I am very much inclined to believe that all is right with the world."

"Well, I don't know about 'innocent'," said Sirius, a wicked, teasing edge to his voice. "I prefer to think of myself as 'not guilty'."

"Just like you to go and spoil the moment with unsubtle innuendo," Remus chided.

"Give me a chance, Moony; I'm rusty. I'm sure before long I'll remember exactly what sort of things I used to say to get in your pants - er - when you were wearing them, that is."

Remus pulled away slightly at that. "Padfoot, it's not that I don't - I mean - I still - " He blushed and took a deep breath before starting again. "It's too soon, Sirius."

"I know." Sirius gave him a squeeze. "You're right. You're always right about these things. But you would?"

"Drop it, Sirius," Remus warned with a playful punch in the shoulder.

"Well, I suppose I can survive a little more deprivation." He sighed melodramatically.

"I wonder what time it is?" Remus said at last, reluctantly.

"Well," Sirius began, "it's June, and we're well north, and it was about sunrise when I had my swim, so now it would be - sometime after that. Sorry, Moony, I guess I've lost all track of the time."

"Maybe -" Remus said, then stopped.

"I know," Sirius said heavily. "I should go. You need to get back to the castle before awkward questions start being asked and someone comes looking for you. And Buckbeak and I need to be away from here sooner rather than later."

"Where will you go?" asked Remus.

"I don't know. I'll have to leave the country, I expect. Get far enough away from here that I won't be recognised. Being cleaned up a bit will help with that." He gazed thoughtfully into a spot of sunlight. "I'd like to go someplace warm, I think. Spending twelve years in a cold, damp cell on a rock in the North Sea has given me a longing for sun and sand and drinks with little umbrellas in them."

"I wish you didn't have to go again so soon," Remus said. "I'm not ready to lose you."

"Lose me?" Sirius sounded genuinely surprised. "Aren't you coming with me?"

"Well - I - that is - I hadn't thought -"

"Not right away, of course," Sirius mused. "That would look suspicious. But the school year is over. What were you planning to do this summer?"

What indeed? thought Remus. Go back to my lonely, dingy little flat?

He was amazed by how far removed from that life he had become in the past twelve hours. A smile blossomed on his face.

"I suppose you're right. I could just fancy a holiday, and I have a year's salary coming to me in a bit."

Sirius gave him another squeeze, and kissed the top of his head. "Then that's settled," he declared. "I won't tell you where I'm going, in case they ask you. I'm sure you'll be able to find me."

"No doubt I will." Remus sat up and pulled Sirius into a warm embrace.

When he drew back, he saw a searching look in Sirius's eyes. Again, the thought of kissing him entered Remus's mind.

Should I? he wondered. No. Not with both of us - like this; it would just lead to - it's too soon.

He blushed and pulled away, making a bigger production than necessary of getting to his feet to hide fairly obvious fact that they were beginning to have similar thoughts. He picked up his clothes and shook them out, handing Sirius the outer robes.

"Here, you can wear this," he said awkwardly.

He hastily pulled on the shirt and trousers as Sirius swirled the robes about his shoulders. Once they were decent, he felt able to meet Sirius's eyes again.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Shall we?"

Arm in arm, they walked through the forest toward Hagrid's hut. Along the way, they pointed out to one another spots of special significance, where the escapades of yesteryear had taken place.

At last, Remus caught sight of Buckbeak through the trees. "I'd better stop here if he doesn't like me."

Sirius nodded. "So I guess this is goodbye. For now." He looked suddenly helpless and uncertain.

"Better than last time." Remus attempted a smile. "There wasn't time for goodbye then."

Sirius looked as if he was going to say something, but Remus turned back to Buckbeak.

"I think I can spell him not to be seen, at least temporarily. I'll just strengthen the spell that makes it so Muggles can't see him. It should last until tonight at least. But what to do about you?" He looked at Sirius consideringly. "I can't make you invisible, and you'll look a bit odd just flying through the air on your own." He tapped his mouth with his wand. "Ah, I have it!"

He looked around until he found a straight branch of a good thickness, about five feet in length. "From far enough away, this should look like a broom. Just keep a good grip on it."

Sirius took it from him, still looking uncertain. He did not say anything as Remus augmented the spell on Buckbeak, making it so that only he and Remus could see the Hippogriff, and that only because they already knew he was there.

At last, Remus turned to him. "Here," he said, pressing his wand into Sirius's hand. "You'll need it more than I will, and I can get another one without too much trouble."

Sirius opened his mouth, but at first no sound emerged. "Thank you," he managed at last. "Moony, this -" a tear spilled down his cheek.

"Go," Remus urged him gently.

He nodded, turning toward Buckbeak. He had taken only a couple of steps before he turned back.

"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" he asked.

In a heartbeat, Remus had closed the distance between them. He cupped Sirius's face in his hands and tilted his chin up. Their eyes met as they hesitated, both of them realising how long it had been since they had done this, and then Remus pressed his mouth against Sirius's.

After a moment of complete stillness, Sirius's tongue flicked against Remus's lips, and with that tiny motion, the floodgates which had held his passion in check for a dozen years were opened. He moaned against Sirius's mouth, tasting him, and Sirius responded hungrily, pressing against him. Sirius. Warm, alive, innocent, present.

At last, Remus reluctantly broke the kiss.

"Well," said Sirius breathlessly, "I guess that's one less thing we have to worry about."

"God, I wish I could keep you here," Remus growled. "Term technically lasts another week, but I suppose it will look just as dodgy for me to be nipping off to the forest all the time as it would if I left early." He sighed.

"A week," Sirius promised. "Maybe two. Then you'll find me, and it will be all bright sunlight, sandy beaches, and drinks with little umbrellas in. We'll get Muggle jobs. You can be a bartender, and I'll be a sexy cabana boy." He grinned.

"Soon," Remus promised. "I'll find you." He let go of Sirius and stepped back.

Sirius smiled and turned once more toward Buckbeak. He bowed to the Hippogriff, who was still eyeing Remus suspiciously, but returned the bow after a moment. Sirius approached and patted the beast's shoulder before swinging a leg over. He waved.

"Until we meet again, Moony!" he called, and then they were rising into the air and out of sight beyond the treetops.

Remus walked back to the castle, whistling. It was shaping up to be a beautiful day.