A/N: Sorry for the wait. My email is fine, but I'm not getting the email for the reviews, so I'm on here less than I want to be.
Let's all darn the evil world of computer technology and read the happy updates this authoress has added for you. -nods-
MORE 3RD PERSON POV STUFF
"MOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSEEEEEEEEE!" They yelled, clawing at the damp walls surrounding them.
"AAAAAARRRGGGHHH GET IT AWAY FROM ME THE FILTHY VERMIN THE MONGREL THE, THE… I'M RUNNING OUT OF WORDS!" Rosalie yelled as she stomped around blindly.
Jasper realized his 'climb-up-the-wall' tactic wasn't working so he huddled up in a fetal position and sucked on his thumb.
((Normally we would take a good amount of time to talk about how cute he looked, as adorable as a wittle baby.
But this reporter has no time for that… back to work. ))
Rosalie stared down at him, an evil glint in her eye.
If I can't get Emmett to come for me yet, I might as well have a little fun while I wait. She thought to herself…evilly.
Using her ultra super vampire vision, Rosalie found the mouse hiding from them in a dark corner.
She left the safe haven of the mattress and approached the mouse.
"Don't hurt me!" it squeaked fearfully.
Rosalie blinked.
"You can talk?"
The mouse looked offended. "Of course I can talk!"
More blinking issued from Rosalie.
"Wow."
And then…just like in 'Interview with a Vampire' Rosalie picked up the mouse and sucked its blood. Because she was thirsty and it was annoying her.
((Although this reporter is in half a mind over whether it was a mouse or a rat. Answers?))
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA." She said as she walked back to the mattress and sat down next to the manliness-lacking Jasper.
MEANWHILE: WITH OUR BRAVE SEARCHERS… (says random booming voice from above):
Edward and Alice continued to walk for a time. Alice was beginning to get nervous. Where was everyone? Where was Jazzy?
But before she could begin her daily hyperventilation exercises, they heard some faint giggling coming from the direction of the kitchen.
Edward sped up, "Bella! Bella!" he yelled hopefully.
Alice was right behind him, "Is that you Jazzy-poo?" she said, ignoring the look she got from Edward.
But Alice was disappointed fore when they walked into the kitchen they were greeted by the sight of a burly Emmett wearing a chef's hat and an apron.
Bella was sitting in a baby's high chair licking a spoon and giggling to herself. Emmett could also be heard giggling. But he wants this reporter to tell you that it was actually 'manly giggling'. Hem, hem.
"Emmett? Bella?" Edward asked, now a little bit confused.
"Yes Edward?" Bella said, cocking her head to the side and fluttering her lashes at him.
"Uh, what are you two doing?" Edward said, walking closer to inspect the spoon Bella was chewing on now.
"Emmett"-flutter-"Made me a"-flutter- "Little dessert"-flutter, flutter, flutter-"Of cookies. And I got to lick the spoon!" Bella said flirtatiously and smiled as she held up her saliva-covered mixing spoon of DOOM for all to see.
"I see…and Emmett…why are you baking?" Edward said, turning to the manly vampire chef that was currently cracking eggs and pouring flower into the once jello-filled green bowl.
"Ah, well you see Edward, I believe you have yet to learn the true identity of…EMMETT!" he paused for a moment to place a few 1x1 inch balls of cookie dough on a sheet and stick it in the oven, fiddling with the dial.
"No one, except Bella here, knows that I've always held a soft spot for cooking. Baking. Sautéing. Slicing, dicing, mixing, shoveling, groveling, begging, whimpering, crying, merciful people of the land bow to me I AM EMMETT, YOU SHALL WORSHIP ME LIKE THE RULER I AM!!!"
As he spoke his voice got more hysterical, growing louder with each word until he was shouting and panting for breath. His eyes were wide, bugging out of their sockets as he watched them.
Suddenly Emmett reached around him and ripped off the apron. He pulled off the hat at the same time.
Underneath the chef's getup, Emmett was wearing a large white robe, and a white wizard's hat. He held a 'staff' which was actually a broom.
((But you didn't hear it from me!))
"BOW TO ME FORE I AM YOUR OVERLORD, SARUMAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"-breath-"HAHAHAHAHAMUAHAHAHAHA…"
Edward stared at him.
Bella continued to lick her spoon happily, now swinging her legs and humming 'The Barney Theme Song.'
Alice was grinning and mumbling to herself in a corner something about cheese and pixies.
Edward stared at 'Saruman' who continued to point his 'staff' at him.
"I KNOW YOU HAVE THE RING GRIMA!!!" Emmett said and hopped up and down waving his 'staff' frantically.
Edward flinched, expecting something wicked to hit him. Luckily he survived…for now.
He grabbed the sticky spoon from Bella, who was watching the situation with increasing amusement- and lunged at 'Saruman'.
He snarled and smacked him in the chest with the dripping spoon. "FOR BELLA!" Edward cried.
'Saruman' aka. Emmett's eyes widened as he fell back, the spoon glued to his white robe.
"NOOOOOOOO!" he cried and then his eyes closed and he fell to the ground with a thud, his 'staff' breaking in the process.
Edward stared at the 'dead' 'Saruman' for a moment.
((Although Emmett was not Saruman and he also…was immortal…))
Bella clapped her hands, coming out of her sugar rush for the day, finally.
"Yaaay! Bravo, bravo. Encore, encore. I LOVED IT! Oh Edward, was that for me? Did you really do it for me?" she batted her eyelashes at him again.
Edward broke from his reverie, "Of course it was for you Bella…" he said sweetly, leaning over to give her a kiss.
Bella smacked him on the shoulder. And even though Edward couldn't feel it, he pouted, pain crossing his beautiful face.
"STUPID! YOU STOLE MY YUMMY SPOON! GIVE IT BAAAACCCCKKK!" she wailed at him angrily, flailing her arms and legs, trying to get out of the wretched high chair.
"Alice?" Edward looked at her, pleading "Help!"
Alice looked up, shook her head, and went back to mumbling to herself, her smile growing wider and wider.
BACK IN THE TRAPDOORS…:
THUMP!
"Did you hear that?!" Rosalie asked, standing up hopefully and gazing at the ceiling.
Jasper shook his head and went back to sucking on his thumb.
"Get out of it! You're not afraid of mice." Rosalie said, smacking him in the head.
Jasper shook his head again.
"And plus," Rosalie prodded, "You'll see Alice sooner if you help me find a way out…"
Jasper jumped up, "Where do you want to start?"
"Well, I thought I just heard something, do you think they are looking for us?" she pouted, gazing dreamily at the place where she assumed the trap door was.
Jasper shook his head. "I'll look over there…" he said and ran to some other corner of the room to plot.
JPOV
I needed to get away from Rosalie.
I ran to another corner, faaaaar away from her and huddled up.
My plan was not going as well as I had hoped. I needed to find some kind of EEEEVVVIIIILLL material down here somewhere. I was sure that they had installed some torture devices in said trap uh, places. But I had scanned the room for so long, there was nothing here.
Where was Alice? Why had she not come for me yet?
APOV
I sat in the corner while Bella hit Edward many, many times. I wondered where Jasper was? But that was short lived as my thoughts strayed to my evil plan.
Emmett was out of it, as he had just been slayed by Edward. And Bella could still be in it, although her sugar high was dimming down and it would be quite hard to slip her some goods while Edward was on watch.
Rosalie, where was she? And Jasper, I wondered whether I could get him to join my …cause. MUAHAHAHAHA. Yes, the ideas were streaming now.
As soon as I found Rose, we could plan revenge against the boys. Yes, who needed them anyway? Hmmm…they were a nuisance. I nodded to myself. Yesh…yesh…the plan was going QUITE well… quite well indeedy.
EVEN MORE 3RD PERSON POV IN THE TRAPDOOR
"JASPER GET OVER HERE!" Rosalie yelled for him from somewhere (over the rainbow).
"Coming!" he yelled grumpily over his shoulder. Evil planning had been interrupted. JASPER MAAAAAD JASPER REAL MAD!
He shuffled over to the mattress where Rosalie was sitting.
"Yes?" he grumbled.
"I think we should try to make as much noise as we can. As if we're being tortured or something of that sort. They probably can't hear us, that's why they haven't come yet." Rosalie said smartly.
Jasper scoffed. They hadn't come yet, because they were happy they didn't have to worry about Rosalie yet. But he obliged and started jumping up and down on the mattress which let out pathetic little squeaks.
Suddenly he hit something hard and a little tiny whistling noise started.
He stopped bouncing and prodded the area with his foot again. The sound of metal on hard floor reached his ears.
"Jasper! Make"-huff-"More"-puff-"NOISE!" Rosalie screamed as she slammed her marble fist into the metal pole thing again. It made a nice loud clang.
Jasper ignored her and reached under the mattress and pulled out…a can.
A/N: okay sorry about all the LOTR references.
Saruman is basically that guy in the white robe but the evilish one. Cause there was a gray guy he was good and then the good guy. Yep. And then Grima is his follower except he gets all angry one day and slits his throat.
Forgive me lovers of LOTR. I'm not that good at this. haha. -hides- Don't hurt me!
BTW: Thanks for ALL the reviews from everyone I'm really sorry I couldn't reply to all of them the way I liked. And I hope that my email spaz will get better.
xxChimesxx