A/N: This is probably my favorite premise for a chapter, and I like the way it turned out. It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it, but I still like it anyway.

So, this chapter was beta-read (yeah) and has been taking forever to upload since my internet keeps exploding into a fiery ball. It's really terrible.

However, I have to say I had fun with this one, especially the part with the sun. That was based on a conversation I had with a kid when I was little. I really wanted to smack that kid for thinking the sun was a planet…

Anyway! Enjoy Chp 3 of Crazy Talk!

ZIM is owned by not me.

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Dib was granted very little sleep the night following parent teacher night. He had been kept alert by thoughts of what new taunts the kids in his class would come up with this year. True, they were always terribly juvenile and just plain bad but Dib still despised hearing them year after year.

That was only part of the reason for his sleeplessness that night, though. After Dib had exhausted the horrible thoughts of the skool kid's eventual mockings, his thoughts turned to ZIM and his "parents."

Why in the world does ZIM have robot parents? What happened to his real parents? Did they die? Dib thought, staring blankly at the white ceiling, Yeah, they must have died. He rolled over onto his side, trying to get comfortable, And he must have made those robots so people wouldn't put him in an orphanage or…something…

Dib twisted so that he could see out of his window, causing the covers to wrap around him uncomfortably. He could see the darkness of night lifting, fading into the pale light of dawn. If that's true, though, he thought, untangling himself from the sheets and turning off his alarm prematurely, Then why don't I feel bad for him?

Dib had taken his time getting ready this morning. He was awake even earlier than usual, and was feeling particularly sluggish from lack of sleep. The sleep deprived boy slumped down the stairs, nearly tripping over almost every step as he descended.

Thankfully, Dib had managed to make it to the kitchen without getting himself killed. He yawned and stretched, taking off his glasses to rub his eyes; his vision was blurry from fatigue, and it took him a moment to realize that he wasn't alone – that Gaz was up. She, too, looked tired, but not nearly as tired as Dib felt.

It seemed that Gaz hadn't noticed Dib either; she continued to chew on her pop tart quietly. The rest of the cereal Dib had bought a few days ago was left on the counter. There was just enough for one more bowl. Dib quirked and eyebrow at his sister. Had she? ...No, she must have just wanted a pop tart that morning.

Cautiously, he approached the cereal. No response from Gaz. Realizing his sister wasn't about to attack him (not that she ever had, he had just always been a bit wary around her) he grabbed the cereal and rushed over to the cupboard that contained the bowls. Happily, he seized a bowl, got some milk, and a spoon, and sat down on the other side of the table.

"Good morning, Gaz!" Dib said brightly to his sister, who replied with a grunt and a spray of pop tart bits.

Dib sighed. His sister sure had a way with ruining the mood. Still, he thought, chomping on his cereal, this was good cereal.

Unfortunately for Dib, his good mood was immediately ruined once he stepped into Ms. Bitters's classroom. "Hey, DIIIB!" a kid called from the back of the classroom. "Lookit meee!" he said, standing up on top his desk and holding two fingers over his head, "I'm an ALIEN!"

Seeing this, the rest of the class joined in, as Dib walked angrily over to his desk. "ALIEN, ALIEN!" they all cried in unison, making strange faces and wiggling their fingers.

After they had had their fun, and the laughter had died down, the same kid that had started it said, "Man, Dib. Your dad is stupid."

"My dad is not stupid!" Dib yelled, "He just believes in something you don't!"

Silence swept over the classroom, as the children stopped to stare at Dib. It was obvious they had nothing to say until someone shouted out "He's crazy!" Then the usual grating laughter of the children descended upon Dib, who turned away from them.

Maybe he is crazy, Dib thought, blankly staring at the chalkboard, Maybe I'mcrazy for defending him.

Sadly, he put his head on his hand and leaned upon it. He didn't even feel like finishing the nanobot experiment he had been working on at the moment. Instead he just sat, waiting for Ms. Bitters to begin her daily speech about doom or some such nonsense.

To make matters worse, ZIM entered the classroom at that moment, looking oddly victorious, no doubt because of last night. Dib didn't understand why he was so happy about it, it's not like anything had changed.

"Heee-eeey!" Zita said, looking over to Dib, "It's the 'alien'".

Dib gritted his teeth in frustration. Why did they say this to him! He wasn't his dad! He didn't believe in aliens.

Though, surprisingly, ZIM's eyes widened as he glared at the girl, "NONSENSE! I am not a member of a clearly superior alien race. I am just your average pig monkey… thing."

"That doesn't even make sense, ZIM," Dib said, slightly muffled since his cheek was still propped up against his hand.

ZIM looked like he was about to say something to Dib, or rather, shout something at him (Dib had realized that ZIM rarely ever spoke at a level that didn't make your ears bleed) when Ms. Bitters finally entered the classroom.

"Children," she said to the classroom, and all the murmuring died down, "Let me just say that it was horrible to meet all of your worthless parents last night, and that I'm sure that all of you will end up just as destitute as them."

"Now," Ms. Bitters continued, slithering over to the chalkboard, and writing "planets" on it, which was considerably less morbid than what she usually wrote. "Which one of you children can tell me what planets compose our hideous solar system."

Immediately Dib raised his hand. "Yes, Dib?" Bitters hissed.

"Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto," he said quickly and without problem.

"No, stupid!" Brian called out, "You forgot the sun!"

"The sun's not a planet," Dib said dully.

"Yes it is!" Brian cried back.

"No, it's not; it's a star," Dib said, glaring at the boy.

"Nuh-uh."

"Yes."

"Silence!" Ms. Bitters barked, "That's correct, Dib."

Dib gave Brian a coy look, who countered by sticking out his tongue.

The rest of the first part of the day passed relatively calmly, the only real annoyance was all the jokes about "Uranus." Even so, Dib was relieved to leave the classroom when the lunch bell rang. He had brought a lunch that day; he didn't really feel like eating what the cafeteria served.

Dib had walked quickly to the cafeteria, and sat down next to his sister without a word. He wondered how she always seemed to get there before him. His thoughts, however, were interrupted when Dib caught sight of ZIM spasming on one of the lunch tables.

Looking curiously at ZIM, Dib began to eat the sandwich he had packed.

"That new kid's a freak. I think his name is Zip or something," Dib heard Jessica say. "He's been here long enough to at least make some loser friends, like that nerdy kid Dib."

Nerdy? Dib thought, I'm not nerdy!

"Or those rejects in the corner."

Well at least she didn't group me in with the rejects…

"But look at him! All by himself. I mean, what kind of kid doesn't have any friends? It's so inhuman!" Jessica concluded.

Dib sighed, and looked back to his food. Not having friends wasn't that weird, and it certainly wasn't inhuman. Though, he supposed, I guess it's not exactly normal, either.

Lost in his thoughts, Dib had not noticed ZIM's approach, and Dib was a little startled when he suddenly spoke.

"I'm looking for a friend," he said, "Would you be my friend?"

Dib was genuinely shocked, not only was ZIM not shouting, but he almost seemed polite about it. He felt a little bad for the green kid. "Uh, look, ZIM. I really don't have time for friends. I mean I'm always so -"

"Excellent!" ZIM said grabbing Dib by his oversized collar and pulling him over to Jessica's table.

"I'd like you all to meet, uh," ZIM said, pausing, "Uh, Dib. He's my best friend."

Dib looked up at ZIM, shocked, "Wait? But ZIM I never agreed -"

"Not yours, MINE," the green boy continued, as though Dib hadn't said anything at all.

"Get lost you losers," Jessica said.

"Very well," said ZIM, "I am going to get lost, but notice I am getting lost with my best friend." ZIM then turned on his heel, and walked away, dragging Dib along with him.

"Stop dragging me, ZIM!" Dib said, pulling away from ZIM's grasp and standing up.

"Eh?" ZIM said, looking back at Dib as though he couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want the privilege of being dragged around by him.

Dib sighed, and held the bridge of his nose in frustration, "Look, ZIM, I understand that you probably want a friend, but I don't know if I'm the right person for the job. Look, you seem…um…interesting and all but- "

"Shut your voice hole Dib-human," ZIM said, "We must go do 'best friend' things."

"Like what?" Dib asked, clearly irritated.

What followed that simple question was one of the worst experiences of Dib's life. First, it was tetherball. ZIM had insisted that Dib be used as a bat or something. Dib had refused outright, but that didn't stop ZIM from using him as one, anyway. Then, then ZIM wanted to do some sort of horrible victory dance and pulled Dib along with him. All the kids stared.

After that, in art class, ZIM had created a poorly drawn picture of ZIM and Dib with the words "Best friends" under it, and showed it to the rest of the class. Dib hadn't drawn anything of the sort, however. He had instead drawn up some schematics for a new project he was planning to work on. ZIM looked irritated with him.

Finally (and this was perhaps worst of all), ZIM had Dib walk down the hallway with him, pointing at the kids and giving them thumbs up. It was humiliating, and Dib was beside himself with anger. He was so livid that when ZIM accidentally bumped into him, he pushed him over.

It seemed like an eternity before school finally ended, and Dib finally was free of ZIM. Well, not really. ZIM had decided to follow him, yelling at the entire school that he and Dib were going to his house to do 'best friend stuff.' The kids had just responded with laughter.

"ZIM," Dib said, with cold fury, "I am not going to your house."

"You speak like a space clown, Dib beast," ZIM said, glaring at Dib, "Of course you are. I have not yet proven my incredible knack for companionship."

"So, you're saying if you prove your 'knack for companionship' then you'll leave me alone?" Dib asked, adding, "Forever?"

"Sure, why not?" ZIM said, shrugging.

"Fine, then," Dib said.

Neither ZIM nor Dib spoke as they walked from the school to ZIM's house, though, occasionally they would stop to glare at each other. Dib really didn't like that kid.

As the two approached ZIM's cul-de-sac, a faint green glow could be seen. Soon, Dib saw, that it was coming from a strange green house with pink windows. "Let me guess," he said, "That's your house?"

"Does it not amaze you?" ZIM said haughtily.

"Oh, it's amazing alright."

Dib stopped in his tracks as they got closer and closer to the house - there was a green dog…a green dog taking out the trash. "I-is that a dog?" he asked ZIM pointing to the green thing.

"Of course it is a dog. All dogs on this filthy dirt ball are like that!" ZIM said, off-handedly.

"No, no they're not!" Dib said, finally reaching ZIM's house, "Dogs aren't green and can't take the trash out!"

"Foolishness!" ZIM said, walking past GIR. Dib followed, warily watching the dog, who smiled at him at first, before jumping on his head, squealing unnaturally.

In shock, Dib only stood there, looking ahead blankly. "Please get your dog off of my head, ZIM," he said, without tone.

"GIR!" ZIM said, opening his strange lopsided purple door.

"Welcome home, son!" the two roboparents said in unison.

The dog suddenly jumped off of Dib's head, and saluted ZIM before shrieking and running around in circles.

Was that really a dog? Dib wondered.

"Heh, look, ZIM," Dib said, backing away from ZIM and his house, "As much as I would love to enter your terrifying house I – I have other stuff to do like…doing stuff…uh, yeah…"

ZIM stared blankly at Dib, blinking once, very slowly, clearly not comprehending.

"Yeah, so I'm-I'm going home," Dib said, backing up even more, "Uh, bye!" Quickly Dib waved at ZIM and walked quickly away from his house.

What country was ZIM from, anyway? Dib wondered, heart beating rapidly, Apparently some country that likes the color green.

Once Dib thought he was far away from ZIM's conspicuous home, he slowed to a walk. Maybe ZIM's weirder than I thought, Dib mused, That was definitely not a dog.

Yes, he continued, ZIM's weird but-but he's not an alien! NO, he certainly wasn't an alien.

"He's just weird," Dib whispered to himself, thinking of the "I heart earth," signs that hung near his house. "Just weird…"