A/N: ZOMG! Last chapter!

WHEEE!

Ahem, anyway, I actually like this chapter. Now, if you know me, then you know I generally hate my stuff, but I do like this chapter, so, yay for me!

Now, this chapter is based around Rise of the Zitboy, though, as usual, it only makes a smallish cameo, if you could call it that.

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, and, finally, I'd like to say I love all of you who read and review my stories (even though some of you find black holes hilarious…)! You've all been very kind, especially since this is the first fanfiction that I've really stuck with. Thank you!

And you can expect some random oneshots from me before I start another major project.

So, here's the last chapter of Crazy Talk!

I do not own ZIM! Nope, I certainly don't.

----

After Dib's first experience with one of ZIM's horrible, evil, horrible plans (for, surely, he was up to something not good) he found that he was having even more trouble focusing on any of his work, or even focusing on something simple as a premise. Lately, he would much rather be glaring at ZIM from across the room, or trying to figure out his diabolic schemes to destroy humanity that he would occasionally scream out foolishly during class. No one seemed to notice, though, and when Dib pointed it out, he was only greeted with jeers and laughter. He had never been treated that way before.

It honestly didn't seem to bother him much, though. He couldn't exactly blame them; after all, he probably would have done the same thing just a few weeks ago. Then again, this was glaringly obvious evidence he was presenting here. Dib sometimes wondered if he would have been able to ignore it like the rest of his classmates.

Still, he had no proof. He had all kinds of reasons, but it wasn't like he had a picture of ZIM out of his disguise. He had never actually seen ZIM out of his terrible, terrible, disguise. If only he did have a picture.

Dib paused, looking up as though he had just had an epiphany.

That was it! He would just get a picture of ZIM out of his disguise. How hard could it be, anyway?

This was easier said than done, however, as Dib had no idea at all how to spy. There had never been a reason to do any snooping or investigating.

Being an amateur, Dib was looking just a bit nervous about his first covert operation. He came sparsely prepared, only carrying a camera and some high-tech binoculars. He had also removed his lab coat; he felt it would get in the way. It didn't make much of a difference to him at this point, he had taken to keeping the coat unbuttoned lately; he found it got in the way of speech. The coat didn't serve much of a practical purpose anymore, anyway. It wasn't like he was performing many experiments anymore.

Using what he supposed was stealth, Dib snuck up to the creepy green house that he had shied away from a few weeks ago. Man, Dib thought wistfully, Just think of how much information I could have gotten! He silently cursed his former disbelief in aliens.

None the less, he still wasn't so sure about this. He stopped by the white fence that surrounded the front of the house. Looking down at his camera, then back at the house, he sighed. No, he wouldn't leave, he was already here. What was there to lose?

My organs… a nasty voice in the back of his head said.

"Nyeh…" Dib said, feeling his stomach with apprehension. Suddenly, he shook his head; there was no point in being so worried. ZIM was too stupid to do anything really horrible to him, wasn't he?

Then again, if that were true, then why was he here? If ZIM was too stupid to do anything, then why was he concerned for the Earth's well-being?

Dib sighed again; he was over-thinking this.

Quickly, before he started on another train of thought, he moved away from the fence, and into the small yard. Nothing seemed to happen. He looked at the garden gnomes with suspicion. They were kind of…creepy. Casting a fleeting glance back at the gnomes, he moved towards the left window. For some reason, it was pink in color.

Shrugging it off, Dib pressed his face against the glass, in an attempt to see inside. To his astonishment, he saw that the inside of ZIM's home was even more messed up than the outside. Everything seemed disproportioned and strange, especially since there seemed to be a toilet in the kitchen. Did ZIM even do any research before coming to Earth? Dib wondered.

On the couch, ZIM's dog sat. He wasn't sitting like any normal dog, either, Dib noted, but he was sitting like a person would. Even weirder was that it appeared to be sucking on a Mr. Sucky. "Oh, I gotta take a picture of this," Dib mumbled to himself, fumbling with the camera before he got it steady, and managed to take a picture.

Unfortunately, Dib realized too late, the flash was on. This seemed to alert the dog to his presence, as its expression suddenly became serious. It jumped to the door and opened it, still looking at Dib seriously.

"Uh…" Dib began, hiding the camera behind his back.

The dog continued to stare at him before its features became softer, and it exclaimed, "HI, big-headed boy!" before jumping on Dib's head.

Dib was speechless for a moment. Sure, he had realized that ZIM's dog couldn't have been a dog, but hearing it talk was still something that threw him threw a loop.

"Your head's so squeee-sheee," the dog said, hugging his head with its nubby little arms.

"Uh…thanks?" Dib said slowly.

The dog giggled insanely at Dib's simple thank you. It jumped off of his head and started running in circles, flailing its arms wildly.

"O-kay…" Dib said, taking several pictures of the psychotic dog, before turning back to the window.

He continued taking pictures of the home, and around it. The dog didn't seem to mind. In fact, it seemed like it had completely forgotten about Dib. It was currently spinning on its head, trying to hop at the same time.

Still, there was no sign of ZIM, and that was what he had come for. ZIM was the alien, not the house, or the dog (though it was insane).

Looking disappointed, Dib moved from his position near the window, and was about to go home when, suddenly, he heard the small squeaky noise of a door opening from behind him.

"Yoo-oou!" ZIM yelled, pointing at Dib, "Dib HUMAN! What do you do in the house of ZIII-IIIM!"

"I'm not in your house…" Dib said, raising his eyebrow.

"Eh…" ZIM said, looking a little confused, "Eh, yes, of course."

He blinked, and the two stared at each other for a moment.

"What are you DOING?" ZIM finally demanded.

"Uh, nothing," Dib said, slipping the camera into his pant's pocket.

"Oh, really?" ZIM said, clearly disappointed. Shrugging, he started walking back into his house, "Wait, yes you are!" he said, suddenly turning around to face Dib again. "Gnomes!"

Dib didn't have time to respond to ZIM's accusation, he was too busy being grabbed and lifted into the air by ZIM's gnomes.

"Hah! I knew those gnomes did something!" Dib said, oddly excited about being captured.

"Are they not genius!?" ZIM said, approaching Dib. How no one noticed this scene, Dib could only guess; he saw that some of ZIM's neighbors were outside.

"Well, I mean, they're ok," Dib said, looking at the gnomes from his vantage point above him, "All they can do is capture intruders?"

"No," ZIM scoffed, "They can also shoot lasers!"

"Wooh, really?" Dib said, "Neat!"

"Haha….yes…" ZIM said, looking rather proud. "Now tell ZIM what you were DOING!" he continued, abruptly changing his tone.

"Uh," Dib said blankly. He couldn't think of an excuse at the moment. Luckily, he didn't need to, for the strange green dog decided to tackle ZIM at that very moment.

"I LOVE YOU, MASTER!" it screeched wildly.

"GIR!" ZIM said, flailing wildly, trying to get the little robot off of him, "Get off of ZIM's head!"

"Okee dokee!" GIR said, jumping off of ZIM's head, and promptly resumed running around in circles.

ZIM looked rather disheveled, and his wig was positioned awkwardly on his head. He adjusted it quickly. "Now tell-" he began.

"BIG HEADED BOY!" GIR cried again, jumping on Dib, while the rockets in his feet were active, causing Dib to break free from the gnome's grasp. "I wanna make you a taco!!!"

"Er," Dib said, slightly disoriented from being forced to the ground by a flying dog robot thing.

"And then we can go pig fishing! AnD monKEH diViNG! And-and mOoSe surfing and then we can-" the insane little robot continued in this manner as Dib slowly got to his feet.

He backed away from the house slowly, before breaking out into a full out run.

Sure, he hadn't gotten a picture of ZIM without his disguise but he thought it had went well enough for his first try. He got pictures of his mental robot dog, anyway.

Yes, Dib was quite pleased with his first attempt at spying, even though he had failed miserably and had been caught. Still, he had no idea who he was going to show these pictures. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted his dad involved. And, even if he had wanted to show his father, he couldn't. Loch currently wasn't home. He had told Dib that he was going off on another 'expedition'.

Dib sighed, and flopped down on his bed. Sleepily, he wondered if there was some sort of organization dealing with the paranormal. He turned over, facing the wall. He could show them, but, did he really want to? He turned again, facing the ceiling. He had changed so much in just the past few weeks.

Dib barely felt like himself anymore. He turned his gaze to his room. It was still white, and still scientific looking but there were no experiments anywhere. There was no odd colored goo sticking to the walls. There were no half finished inventions lying anywhere. There were no plans for new ones.

Frustrated, he closed his eyes. He missed science.

---

It was several hours before he awoke. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and saw that there was a slight light coming in through the window. He rubbed his eyes, and stood up; standing blankly before realizing that he had to go to skool.

Quickly, he rushed over to his closet, and pulled on one of his lab coats. He hadn't worn one in a few days, but he felt like he should today. Despite this, though, he didn't button it up. He didn't want it blocking his mouth.

Dib took a hurried glance at his alarm – he should have been leaving for school already. He must have forgotten to set the alarm. How could he have forgotten that?

With an irritated look on his face, he dashed down the stairs, dodging the paranormal equipment scattered on the stairs. He looked around the living room. Gaz wasn't there. She must have left without him.

Shrugging, he pulled open the front door, and left his home.

Dib tried to walk faster today, he didn't want to be late again. Over the past couple of days he hadn't got to skool on time. He hated being late. He was always worried that Ms. Bitters would do something horrible to him.

He increased his speed as the skool came into view.

Rushing inside, he almost tripped, but caught himself. He just made it into the classroom before the bell rang.

Ms. Bitters growled at him, but Dib just scowled and walked to his desk. He noticed ZIM wasn't there yet.

Boredly, he placed his cheek onto the back of his hand, and sighed. He didn't know why he was getting so worked up over this. ZIM was obviously a moron, even if he was an alien.

What was ZIM going to do?

Dib shifted his gaze to the window. Yeah, what was ZIM going to do? It's not like he had actually done anything. Why did he care so much about it? He didn't even want to be spying on him. He would rather being conducting experiments. The only reason he had watched ZIM so closely was because he had thought he was a threat but after yesterday…He wasn't so sure.

It had taken ZIM so long to realize that he was there, and then his insane little robot had allowed him to escape. If he was there to conquer earth, then he was doing a pretty poor job of it.

Maybe he didn't need to worry about it so much.

---

Half way though the day, ZIM still wasn't at school. This bothered Dib a little for some reason, but he shook it off. He had actually started planning a new invention, a completely automated house. He had just started planning the nursery when the bell for the final recess of the day rang.

Happily, Dib his supplies outside, and sat down next to his sister, who was currently sitting on the steps of the school, reading a book called "Punch Club". He was actually a little surprised to see Gaz reading anything. That was something she rarely did.

Neither of them spoke for the first few minutes of recess, Gaz reading her book, and Dib working on the house. It was quiet out.

Stretching, Dib raised his head up from the paper, to get a good look at the few trees around the skool. He saw the trees, and those squirrels. I wonder if dad is right about those squirrels… Dib thought, staring at the squirrels with glowing red eyes.

His attention was drawn away from the cyborg squirrels, however, when he suddenly spotted ZIM, walking ahead of almost every student in the entire school. As he drew nearer, Dib saw that they were in some sort of trance.

Wide eyed, Dib instinctively his behind the ledge next to the steps. He pressed his back against it, and did not turn around.

"You will tell Pustulio everything that Pustulio wants to know!" Dib heard ZIM say. He sounded like he was standing right next to Gaz. "I am Pustulio's official spokesman. Whatever information you give to me will please Pustulio."

Pustulio? Dib thought, Who's pustulio?

He still did not peek over the ledge.

"Stare deeply into Pustulio," ZIM continued, doubtlessly to Gaz "He is your master, he is-"

"Go away," he heard his sister say.

"Are you sure you don't want to look at Pustuuuuu-lio?" ZIM asked, saying "pustulio" mysteriously.

Gaz responded with a grunt.

There was silence for a moment before ZIM said, "Come, my filthy stink children. You shall reveal your secrets to Pustulio in the privacy of the classroom."

After that, Dib heard the shuffling of the kids into the skool. He waited a moment. Everything was quiet again. Finally, he looked around the ledge. No one was there except his sister.

Looking slightly relieved that ZIM was no longer outside, Dib walked back over to where his work still lay, unfinished. He stared at it for a minute.

I should do something… he thought, looking back at the school.

He looked back down to his work, and sat. I don't really want to, though…

Dib didn't continue with his work, he just looked at what was ahead of him, blankly. Should he do anything? Obviously ZIM had found some way to hypnotize the students…he really didn't like the sound of that.

A brief amount of time passed, before Dib suddenly stood up, looking dismayed. He really didn't want to do this. He inhaled deeply, before entering the building.

As he walked, Dib noticed that there were no other people in the hallways. It was eerie. Still, he continued towards his classroom, looking tense.

He reached the classroom far too soon for his liking. He still felt the urge to leave, to go back outside and work on his invention. It's not like it wasn't too late. He didn't have to do this.

Dib leaned up against the door; it was closed. He couldn't hear anything from within. He actually had a feeling all the doors in the school were sound proof, to keep the classes from disrupting each other.

He was completely still, save for his heart beating like mad. If he wanted to know what was going on, he would have to open the door.

Taking in a deep, shuttery breathe, he opened the door just a little, and peeked inside.

Inside, ZIM was sitting on Ms. Bitters's desk, looking bored and frustrated. "Pustulio commands you to!-" He paused, looking at the hypnotized kids blankly, "Eh." Another pause, "Destroy this pathetic dirt-ball" ZIM said, finally, waving his hand around in vague gesture.

Dib gasped, and slapped his hands over his mouth. He hoped no one noticed.

"That doesn't sound like something pustulio would say!" one of the kids cried.

"Pustulio rocks!" another one said.

"DARE you question Pustulio's spokes-maaan?" ZIM said, raising one of his claws up half in victory.

The students continued to look at him vacantly.

"Stoo-pid humans!" ZIM cried angrily.

Dib sighed. Even after hypnotizing almost the entire school, he still couldn't do anything. Maybe he really didn't need to worry about ZIM.

Quietly, and full of relief, he shut the door, and started walking away when…

BOOM.

There was suddenly an explosion from Ms. Bitters's classroom, which shook the school slightly.

Fearing the worst, Dib rushed over to the door and flung it open. "Eww…" he said. The entire room was covered with pus, and all of the hypnotized kids now lay dazed all over the room.

Apparently, ZIM had fallen off of desk, and was now laying face first in a puddle of pus.

Dib almost started laughing at ZIM when something very creepy slithered around him. It was Ms. Bitters. "Dib!" she hissed, handing him a bit of sponge, "You will not leave skool grounds until all this mess has been cleaned up."

"Me!? But-" Dib protested, looking down at the meager sponge his teacher had given him.

"SILENCE!" Bitters shrieked, slithering eerily back to her desk.

Suddenly, ZIM shot up, looking triumphant. "SUCCESS!" he said, grinning widely and laughing at Dib.

Dib blinked, looking confused.

"Ha ha!" ZIM said, "You see, Dib-beast it was my plan all along to make you clean up a sticky room!"

"But that doesn't-" Dib began.

"SI-LEENCE!" ZIM yelled, walking out of the room with his hands behind his back.

Dib stared on after ZIM, until he was out of sight. He then turned his gaze back to the room, looking extremely irritated. ZIM was far from harmless.

I'll have to keep my eye on him, Dib though, wondering how exactly he was supposed to clean up the room.

He growled as he tried to clean it up with the bit of sponge, And his horrible, alien, evil.