Here's chapter 7 for you all!

First of all congratulations to Phazed who correctly guessed that all the chapter titles were the names of Take That songs. The submitted story criteria is being considered and will be started once Full Circle is finished.

This is all angsty and I apologise now. It was pretty hard to write, hence the delay. I kept rewriting until I was happy. Comments and reviews are always welcome!

Chapter 7: Today I've Lost You

Maddie sinks to the floor trying not scream. She keeps her hand over baby Mal's mouth who squirms uncomfortably against her. Her legs are shaking so badly that she is sure they will knock into something and bring the rickety old shed falling around her ears. She can hear screaming. Women screaming. People she knows are dying out there and there is not a thing she can do about it. Tears spill down her cheeks. Her brothers are all stupid enough to be out there. Probably not Luke, he can be sensible. They pretend to be the big bad but they are all softies at heart, and they will all want to be heroic, save people. Even if it gets them killed.

The door suddenly flies open, the jammed spade falling inwards. Maddie shrieks and that sets Mal bawling.

"Jesus! Maddie shut up!"

She lifts her head to stare at the faces of two of her brothers. Jayne and Daniel stare down at her in complete horror.

"What the hell you doin' in here girl?" Jayne snaps.

"Hiding. Protecting Mal."

Jayne looks over his shoulder nervously. "Where's Zoë?"

"Drawing them off," Maddie jiggles Mal to shush him.

"She armed?"

"Pickaxe."

Jayne swears in words that Maddie has never even heard before, let alone ones her mother would appreciate. If Jayne said things half as obscene as that when he still lived at home their mother would hold him down and wash his mouth out with soap. She still did it even when he towered over her, and he'd done that since he was thirteen. Jayne would never fight back. Not against his mama.

"Daniel stay here! Don't let that gorram girl out of your sight! Maddie I love ya, now shut up and lock this door!"

Zoë looks down at baby Mal who is sat on the patch of grass, banging a t-rex into the ground. He looks so like Wash to her but he is named after a man who commands just as much respect as her husband. Sometimes more, she is ashamed to admit. And Mal had been dead…well sometimes the living can't live up to that.

Zoë paces back and forwards along the edge of the high corn beside the gnarled tree roots. Kaylee has told her about this place earlier and she had shaken off Wash to come here to think.

She can still see Mal leaning into kiss her. He kept his eyes open, looking into hers. He's said he needed to talk to her about something important. Then dragged her to sit on that hay bale and stared at her, looking nervous.

"What?" she'd asked completely unaware of what was about to happen.

Then he'd leaned in, put a hand on the back of her neck and kissed her. A real slow lingering kiss before her brain had realised exactly what was going on. Then she'd shoved him off that damn hay bale into a heap on the floor. He went flying but still looked at her with those gorram puppy eyes of his that he normally reserves for Inara or Kaylee.

Zoë sighs loudly and runs a hand over her face. Why in the 'verse is she suddenly thinking this way about Malcolm Reynolds?

"Reavers!" The screams come from the town's square.

She scrambles to baby Mal and hauls him into her arms as he kicks. That is when the plume of black smoke cuts across the sky.

She thrusts the pole upwards as hard as she is able to, putting every ounce of strength behind her arms. There is a sickening crack as it connects with the Reaver's face. There is an anguished howl and she pushes it up even harder. There is a spurt of red above them as she pulls the pole back, and Wash drops down to the floor. The hatch rattles back into place and Kaylee rams the pole through the metal handle before the Reavers can grab it away again. Ellen pushes up the other end of the pole to help her get it through securely.

Wash sits on the floor below the hatch, sweating.

"You okay?" Simon asks him from his place beside River.

Wash nods weakly. "Yeah." He can't stop himself shaking. "Kaylee you kicked ass!"

The hatch above them rattles violently but holds. For now. The Reavers scream in frustration.

Kaylee is staring at Wash. "You have blood on you," she says feeling sick at what she has just done.

He wipes at his face and his hands come away red. "Urrrgg!" He scrubs at his face with his hands in a vain effort to clean the blood off. Inara moves to him and gently wipes his face with the hem of her skirt. She doesn't ask his permission and he doesn't stop her either. Just looks at him like her own gorram heart is breaking for him.

Wash just stares at her. "Thank you," is all he can manage to say and even then his voice wavers.

"Hurts!" River suddenly cries out.

"What is it sweetie?" Inara moves to her side and pushes River's hair off her face tenderly.

"Everything hurts!" River sobs. "Turning inside out, everything is. This isn't right." She screws up her face in pain. "Outside in, inside out. There's a hole in the world."

Simon can see the old madness flickering behind her eyes. Because of the baby he hadn't been able to give her the proper medication she needed. But somehow Serenity was good for her. She hadn't returned to the crazy little girl from years ago, she was holding on. Simon puts his hands on hers, terrified that she was going to crack.

"Won't break Simon," she looks at him, eyes full of tears. "Not me." She clasps her hands across her belly and bites back a strangled scream.

Kaylee grabs her hand out of Simon's. "Its okay River."

River shakes her head, and suddenly fixes her eyes on Simon. So intently that he lets go of her hand.

"Dead."

The one word stops everyone still in their tracks. Silent tears of abject misery start to spill down River's cheeks. Simon gathers her in his arms, silently, his face set grim. River rests her head into his chest and sobs noiselessly.

Wash is staring at the rattling hatch and his eyes and thoughts are a long way from here.

Inara twists her hands in the ripped silk of her dress that sticks, sweat soaked to her legs. She wants to give in. all she wants right now are Mal's arms tight around her.

Lisa looks upward suddenly a few moments later. "The noise has stopped," she whispers.

No one speaks. Just sits there and waits. Waits for something. None of them know what.

It is so quiet that Kaylee wonders fearfully if they are the only ones left. Are the Reavers just finishing up and keeping them for later? I don't want to die in a whitewashed pit under a barn on St Owens. I want to live. I want to smell the fresh morning air again. I want to taste strawberries on my tongue. I want to dress up and drink champagne and not let a fight spoil the party. I want babies of my own. And I want Simon.

She looks over at him. He looks up when he feels her eyes on him. It feels like that moment so many years ago. There is nothing but his eyes. She mouths three little words to him and he smiles ever so slightly. She wants him and she has him.

Daniel Cobb braces his feet against the door as it bangs inwards. The force rattles his leg bones and he settles the rifle against his shoulder that little bit firmer. Maddie clings to him as best she can with Mal in her arms. All Daniel can think about is his wife Jemima; she is going to be a widow if he can't keep this gorram door shut. She's too young to be a widow. And he's too young to gorram die. The tool shed rocks around them.

Daniel's finger twitches on the trigger as the door slams into his feet again. Maddie screams and Daniel swears as his knees come towards his chest.

There is an ominous creaking. Maddie shrieks again and Daniel yells out as the tool shed shakes violently then collapses on top of them.

Mal rights the table with one swift movement. Jayne shrugs Zoë off his shoulder onto the tabletop. Jayne's left arm hangs limply at his side and he is covered in blood from head to toe. No wonder Mal had thought him a Reaver. Jayne says nothing about finding his captain hiding behind a table.

Zoë's head lolls to one side and Mal can see the torn flesh at the base of her neck. Her top is covered in blood; Mal lifts it gently and can see a large ragged wound on her stomach. He swallows and feels a little sick. Her trousers are ripped down one side from ankle to hip, revealing the entire length of her leg. And her belt is broken. There are bruises there, they look like fingerprints. Oh no, they haven't…not to Zoë. Mal feels very sick now. Not to Zoë. He couldn't bear the thought of those…things, touching her like that.

Mal sways a little and holds onto the edge of the table. They need the doctor and they need him now.

"Was she conscious?"

"What?" Jayne looks at him.

"When you found her? Was she awake?" Mal presses, pulling his shirt over his head without unbuttoning it. He presses it against Zoë's stomach trying to staunch the blood.

"No…I don't know." There is panic in his voice. "Don't think so. Reaver had her up against a wall Mal."

Mal shudders.

Jayne realises he need to reset his shoulder if he's to be of any help so he grabs his own left shoulder with the opposite hand and yanks. There is a squelching pop and he bites off a string of curses. He works the shoulder joint round a couple of times wincing. "I'll clear the way shall I?" he nods towards the door hefting Vera.

Mal leans over and kisses Zoë softly on the lips. Then looks up at Jayne with his face set darker than the mercenary has ever seen it. "Do it. NOW!"

"Our Father who art in heaven…"

The congregation kneel to say their prayer but not out of any piety. They are huddled under the pews in fear. Only Preacher Luke Cobb remains standing by his lectern. Only his white knuckles betray his fear as he keeps his voice low and even. He has faith in his brothers. He's always had faith in his brothers, even if they reject the path of good so whole-heartedly.

Overhead there is the sound of a ship taking off. Luke closes his eyes but carries on talking. He knows that means the Reavers have had their fill. They have hit St Owens and now they need to clean up their messes.

"…For thine is the power, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen."

"Get your people into the barn Captain," Lisa Cobb orders him.

"I think…" Mal begins his mugs dropped forgotten at his feet and making a puddle of ale.

"Well don't think, do it!" For a moment she sounds so like Jayne that it scares him.

"Crew of Serenity! Get your asses into the barn!" Mal bellows across the chaos that was once a celebration.

He spots Simon racing towards the barn towing Kaylee and Inara by their hands.

Mal follows them.

Moments later they are all gathered in the darkness of the barn. Ellen Cobb is hauling up the hatch to reveal a pit.

Kaylee's eyes are wide and terrified. Mal touches the side of her face without a word. He looks around and mentally checks off his crew. His blood suddenly runs to ice. Zoë is missing. He looks at Wash who is looking towards the door agitatedly.

"Where's Maddie?" Jayne's mother suddenly asks.

"She ain't here?" Kaylee says.

Jayne looks round at his three brothers. "You still hidin' them hot rifles in the hay loft Benjamin?"

Benjamin nods. Jayne fixes his face. He turns and kisses River firmly. "Goodbye River. I'll be back later."

River stares at him. "No! You can't!" she screams.

Jayne is already climbing the hayloft ladder.

"Mal…" Inara says in his ear suddenly.

Mal turns, takes her hand and kisses the back of it. "Got somethin' I gotta do darlin'."

"Mal don't…"

But Mal turns away and looks towards the Cobbs. "Arm me up boys."

"DOCTOR!" The bellow and accompanying gunfire from above startle them all.

The hatch rattles roughly.

"JAYNE!" River screams leaping to her feet and reaching for the pole.

Simon and Wash leap up to help her. The hatch comes falling into the pit, crashing to the floor and breaking in two. The three of them look up into the blood-covered face above them.

Jayne smiles, his teeth very white against the red.

"Jayne Jayne…" River babbles.

Jayne leans into the hole. "Pass her up."

"Where's Zoë?" Wash asks desperately.

Jayne ignores the question.

Simon gives River a leg up into Jayne's waiting arms. He hauls River upward with a low grunt of pain. He sets River gently on the floorboards. She stares up at his bloodied face, which is twisted in pain.

"Jayne baby?" she says desperately wanting to kiss him but repulsed by the blood and wary of his expression.

"Walk out of this barn River. Keep your eyes on your belly button and get into the house and stay there." His voice is firm.

Jacob and Benjamin are pulling Simon out of the pit.

"Go to Serenity. NOW!" Jayne orders him. "Run!"

Simon realises that there is no argument to be had and sprints from the barn.

"WHERE'S ZOЁ?" Wash yells from underneath them.

"The baby might have come," River states simply. "Started turning inside out. She's sleeping now though." She grabs his hand and places it against her stomach.

Jayne bites down on a yell.

"What is it?" she asks worriedly.

He grimaces. "Dislocated my shoulder. I'll get your brother to look at it later. He's got more important things to do." Jayne gives her a push. "Go and don't look up dong ma?"

She nods and fixes her eyes on the top of her bump, and leaves without further comment.

The other Cobb boys have pulled Wash out of the hole.

"Run Wash," Jayne tells him seriously. "Hurry."

Translation Notes:

Dong ma? - Understand?