Thanks for reviewing, all. I really appreciate your support. And now, let us go to yet another randomness-filled chapter!

Power of Tobacco

Integra Hellsing was doing her usual daily (and annoying, sadly) paperwork. The platinum blond haired woman sighed deeply as she shuffled through the many papers stacked upon her desk. Even after a decade of leadership, the Hellsing head could never get over the annoying, bloody task that was paperwork. Integra would rather be off shooting in the firing range or even screaming at Alucard than doing this.

And speaking of the devil… or Alucard, as everyone calls him…

The Nosferatu in question melted through the ceiling, fangs flashing as the vampire showed his trademark maniacal grin towards his Master. Integra had to resist the temptation to roll her eyes, or chuck one of her many sliver ashtrays at him. The lady could only list out a hundred and one reasons why no one should take the dictatorship of this institute, rather than a list on why they should take it.

"Good Evening, Master," greeted the red-clad vampire in his usual fashion. Integra merely grunted in acknowledgement, not really noticing as Alucard dropped and landed gracefully, akin to a cat. Well, she did notice the way he landed. Like a cat – correction, exactly like a cat.

"What the devil happened to you, Alucard?" questioned Integra, one of her slender eyebrows arched as she looked impassively at the vampire with a look that held both confusion and amusement. Well, this was better than paperwork, at any rate. Alucard grinned as he got up and brushed the dust off his coat. The female head didn't even bat an eyelid as the vampire leaned towards her and said, "Why, I didn't know you cared, Master."

"Cared? I'm afraid you're wrong there. I was just wondering if that stunt your fledging pulled still kept you mentally in one piece." Saying that, the woman chuckled a little at the scowl that crossed the elder vampire's face. Seras did have to pay for that action someday… but not for now. Grinning, Alucard sat himself on the chair in front of Integra's desk and propped both his booted feet on it, making the human scowl at the undead in return.

Lighting up the cigar in her mouth, Integra glared at her servant and snapped out, "Remove your bloody feet from my desk, idiot."

To her surprise, Alucard didn't obey. Instead he folded his arms and glared straight back at her. "Why should I?" questioned the vampire… with a pout. Integra starred at the vampire for a moment, wondering if her hearing was still right.

"Excuse me?" started the female incredulously, "I'm your master, and so you must follow my orders."

Alucard snorted. "That's a lame excuse."

"Are you really alright?"

"I'm never better, Master. Why did you ask?"

"…you're not yourself, idiot."

"Is there ever a 'myself', Master?"

"…" Integra paused at that, starring at Alucard for a few more moments before taking a drag out from her cigar. "That's it. I give up on this conversation. Just what do you want?"

The vampire grinned as he leaned forward again. "May I borrow a box of your cigars?"

"WHAT?!" the human half-screamed in shock. "What in the world do you need them for, idiot? Besides, these cigars have no tobacco in them."

Now it was Alucard who paused at that statement. "What… did you say?"

"I said: These. Cigars. Have. No. Tobacco."

"I KNEW IT!" yelled a voice from the door. The twin wooden portals burst open to reveal a whooping Seras at the doorway. Integra looked at the Police Girl in shock and disbelief, while Alucard glared daggers at his fledging. The strawberry blond haired girl grinned as she walked up to the elder vampire and blew a raspberry at him. "Told you her cigars have no tobacco, Master! Now you can't annoy me for the next three days!" giggled the young fledging.

Integra's eyebrow twitched at that statement.

"You're saying you have been annoying me just to see if my cigars are vegetarian?!" demanded the human as a vein throbbed at her forehead. Both Seras and Alucard actually sweatdropped.

"Uhh… I have to train! Bye!" the young woman quickly exclaimed as she sped out of the room, slamming the doors behind her. Alucard turned to look and his Master and started, "Well, Master… it's been a good chat and now I have to---"

"OH NO YOU DON'T, IDIOT!" screamed the enraged and royally ticked off Integra Hellsing, cutting of the vampire in his tracks as she took out her pistol (loaded with sliver bullets) from her desk drawer. Walter stood outside the room, starring hard at the tea he brought for Integra while trying to flush out his brain from the many gunshots coming from inside.

Random, random, random. What can I say? It's just too crazy at times. Well, until next time!

ProtoKnightblazer