CJ woke up with wet sheets. Stealing Claude's bunk had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now he felt pretty stupid. Claude would have to sleep on the floor now since there was no way he was going back into that bed. Then again, that was probably a good thing, he would probably have died if he had fallen from the top bunk again.

A/N: That was a continuation I forgot to add on to the last chapter. Again, sorry CJ fans! Now, onto the story.

Day 4

Welcome back to Liberty City Big Brother, where the contestants are joined by zany new house guest Toni!

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PRICKS, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Tommy, Carl and Claude hid behind the sofa as Toni Cipriani scouted the area with a baseball bat, knocking over plant pots, ornaments and other outrageously expensive items. The men ducked as the bat swung past their heads.

Please, Toni, calm down. This is a family show, and we don't want any deaths. Not for the first week on air at least.

Toni turned round, and swung the bat at the camera, sending it flying out the window and into a stray cat.

"Meow!"

"SHUT UP DAMMIT!" Toni threw a chair at the cat, but it missed. He took out his cell phone, and proceeded to put a hit out on the cat. "Yeah, I want a rat's head in its bed!"

"Hey Toni," came the reply, "wouldn't the cat kinda like that?"

"You want me to kill you too?"

"No. . .sir."

While Toni was busy organising the assassination of the cat, CJ saw this as his chance to strike. He leapt over the couch and flung himself at Toni, wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. Toni struggled, trying to throw CJ off, but he held on with the determination of someone who can only think one thing at a time, and that thing certainly wasn't letting go. CJ wrestled for the bat, and threw it towards Claude, clubbing him in the head and knocking him unconscious.

"Shit."

A black Mafia Sentinel pulled up outside the window.

Tommy picked up the bat and ran towards Carl with it held at head height. "Oh, Carl. . ." he said manically, as he swung the bat.

Hearing the familiar voice, Toni turned around, only to be greeted with a bat to the face, causing him to fall backwards to the floor.

"Well," said Tommy. "I guess that works too. . ."

Claude stood up.

Some men in black suits stepped out of the car, and loaded their Tec-9s.

"That was a close one, eh Claude?" Claude nodded. "But at least everything worked out." Claude looked to Toni's body, where CJ's arms were just visible underneath, flailing wildly. He heard a faint croaking noise. He turned back to Tommy, nodded, and strolled away.

The sound of gunshots could be heard from outside, followed by some wailing and screeching, then the sound of a car driving off.

Uh. . .Could one of you move Toni before Carl suffocates?

Tommy sighed, and heaved the body. CJ gave Tommy a murderous stare.

"Hey, Carl, you seem pretty "pissed" off. Ha ha! Get it?"

CJ suppressed the urge to punch him, and instead walked away, tripping over the still unconscious Toni.

Okay people, It's Lazlow again, came the voice from the speaker.

This time Claude changed the channel. They listened to Double Cleff FM for a few seconds, before relenting and changing it back.

Thank you. Okay, it is eviction time now. Each of you can cast one vote about who you want to leave the house. The person with most votes is outta here. I think it's safe to say who will be leaving already though. So, one by one, enter the voting room to cast your vote.

"Voting room?"

The kitchen.

"Ah."

Claude entered first, writing a name on a scrap of paper and holding it up to the camera. Next Carl entered, and did the same, followed by Tommy, and then Toni who had just regained consciousness.

And the votes are in. We have a tie. Tommy and Toni, with two votes each.

Tommy looked at Carl and Claude. "Okay, who was it?"

Well, I'll give you a hint. The person spelled "Tommy" wrong.

"You're an idiot, Carl."

Well then. That means we'll have to have a new challenge to decide who stays.

"Can they make Claude talk again?" asked CJ.

No. That's been done.

"Oh."

"How about a CJ ass kicking contest?" laughed Tommy.

I don't see why not.

"Score!"

Okay, we'll split the challenge into three parts. The person who injures CJ the most in each part gets a point. The person with most points at the end wins. And uh. . .CJ can pick the next contestant to be added, for his troubles. . . . . . If he survives, that is. Round one, who can injure CJ the most with a projectile of their choice? Please choose your weapon, men, and stand at the opposite end of the room from Carl.

The men did as they were asked.

Toni. Proceed.

Toni picked up the baseball bat, slapped it against his hand a few times to prepare, then sent it soaring through the air. CJ, who had been tied to the wall and gagged by Claude, closed his eyes as the swirling shape blurred past him and out the window.

"Meow!"

Toni's breathing became heavier. He took out his cell phone again and began shouting at the recipient to kill all the cats in the neighbourhood.

Tommy, you're up.

Tommy gazed around the room for something, preferably something sharp, to throw at CJ. He settled for a heavy glass vase. He pulled his arm back, and pitched it like a baseball player. Time seemed to slow down for CJ as the vase hurtled towards him. It smashed into the wall, inches above the top of his head with a rather cool explosion, and the pieces rained down about him.

Well. . . Tommy was closest, I'm afraid Toni. That's one point to him. Next round, who can cause most pain to Carl with a bullet.

Toni and Tommy exchanged excited glances.

BB bullets, guys.

They shrugged, and Toni was handed a BB gun by a stage-hand making his first appearance on the show, and most likely his last. After giving away the gun, he went back to his regular job of making refreshments and living in the basement with the lights off.

Toni took aim. The gun was a replica of a Colt-45. He took his one shot, piercing CJ's shoulder.

"I've seen better." said CJ.

One bullet left, Tommy noticed, as he seized the gun. He was attempting to aim for the PacMan shaped scar on CJ's nose. (anyone else notice the white mark that looks like one of the PacMan ghosts? Whatever.) Claude grabbed the gun from Tommy's hand just before he squeezed the trigger, and sent a bullet tearing through the air, hitting CJ in the nether regions.

Well. . . said Lazlow, trying not to laugh, I think I'll have to disqualify Tommy for this round. Toni gets the point. So that makes it neck and neck, with one challenge to go. But I don't know what it is yet.

Tommy inspected the paper with CJ's vote on it. It read "Tomnye.

"Carl. . .were you trying to spell Tommy or Toni here?"

The material was removed from CJ's mouth. He opened it to speak.

"Think carefully now."

"It said. . .um. . .Toni." His eyes darted from side to side.

Oh, well, sorry Carl. I thought it said Tommy.

"It di-"

Claude slapped his hand over CJ's mouth.

Well then folks. There you have our first eviction. Say "hi" to your mama for me Toni.

"My name aint Toni, okay?"

Well that's wonderful. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. We don't want you to have it assassinated too.

Now Carl, you can invite anyone you want to the Big Brother house. Just give them a call.

The stage-hand once again appeared out of nowhere with the phone, and disappeared just as quickly.

Carl dialled the number. "Hey, Cesar."

"Hey Carl," came the reply. "I saw you on TV, bro."

"Cool, man. Hey I signed you up to come down and be a contestant."

"Why CJ? What the hell did I do to you?"

"Uh. . .nothin' man. I thought you'd be happy."

"Uh. . .well, for you man, I guess. I'll be there tomorrow, holmes."

"Cool, man. Hey how's everyone holdin' up?"

"Well, when I went to see Sweet, he was tearing up photos of you and him and eating the pieces."

"Heh heh. Yeah. That's Sweet alright. Well I gotta go, man. I'll catch ya tomorrow."

"See ya, CJ."

Oh God. Not that Hispanic guy.

"Hey, you said anyone I want."

Fine. From now on, I'm choosing the guests.

The contestants looked silently at each other.

(whispering) I gotta get a better job. . .

A/N: Give me your ideas on who I should add into the house. If I see a good idea, I'll include it. Thanks for the reviews, keep reading!