Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to J.K. Rowling.
March 15th
Part IV
"Oh Fawkes! Wherever did we go wrong?"
The wizened old Headmaster gently stroked the phoenix's red plumage and the beautiful bird sung a sympathetic note. Albus let out an emotional sigh and continue to gaze out of the window.
Soon I'll catch a glimpse of her. Her grey fur, her four paws racing through the greenery.
"Those wonderful green eyes, deep pools of swirling knowledge. I could get lost in them for hours. Do you remember the way they used to sparkle like emeralds?"
A ghost of a smile played across his lips and Fawkes continued to croon.
"You are right of course, such precious jewels paled in comparison to her glistening orbs."
Before Albus could get too absorbed in his thoughts a familiar shot of grey dashed past and Albus sunk into his cushy armchair in an undignified heap. There, in his circular office, in front of his closest friend and companion, was no need for false pretences. March 15th was a draining day and it took all the great wizard's effort just to get of bed that morning.
"I caused her this pain Fawkes!"
The bird rubbed his head against the old wrinkled hands and tried to comfort the old man. For indeed behind all his awards and titles Albus Dumbledore was but a mere man and Minerva McGonagall one of the few women to realize that.
"But what happened old friend? What happened!? We were once so happy! Were we not?"
Albus eyed the penseive at the corner of his desk but he had not the strength to peer inside it. For the past 30 years he had tortured himself with memories of the two of them – happy memories and sad, good times and bad, but one recollection repeated itself over and over again. March 15th.
It started out like any other day. I awoke and silently thanked whatever deities there were for bringing Minerva into my life. I chose a garishly outlandish robe and proceeded to Minerva's chambers to accompany her to breakfast. She hadn't been feeling well the last few weeks and I was worried about her. As always she assured me she was all right but I had noticed we were drifting apart and I decided I was going to make it up to her that weekend. I had lessons all day and I missed dinner due to another tedious Ministry meeting. As I walked up the marble staircase I was debating whether to have a quick shower then meet Minerva or whether to forgo pleasantries to spend as much time as possible with her. As it turned out none of that was it important.
Albus barked a hollow laugh causing Fawkes to ruffle his feathers and give a shrill note of fright. As he comforted the rumpled bird his old grey eyebrows knitted together, his blue eyes took on a glazed look and the dear old Headmaster was once again lost in the past.
Charms Professor, Filius Flitwick came rushing down the corridor to me squeaking. Time seemed to slow down.
"Minerva…" He panted and I wanted to throttle him he was taking so long to explain. "Minerva." He repeated. "She's in the Hospital Wing…"
Time fast-forward and whatever else he said fell on deaf ears. It took but a second for me to comprehend what he had said and I shot off to the infirmary like a chimaera was chasing me through the hallowed halls.
"To see her so deathly pale Fawkes…it pains me to recall…" Albus whispered with tears forming in his eyes.
There she lay as white as the sheets so tightly tucking her in. I rushed to her side and she slowly met my gaze but their was something different in her stare, something hidden behind those beautiful green eyes. It took me many years to realize that her precious twinkle was gone. A great sorrow filled my heart when she began to speak; when those cursed words passed her lips.
"The pain is with me to this day Fawkes and there is but one remedy…"
Fawkes snuggled closer trying to bring warmth to his dear friend, he shed tears hoping to ease Albus' suffering but to no prevail.
"I appreciate it Fawkes but alas not even your tears can heal this wound."
"I'm sorry Albus. I'm so very sorry." Her voice choked, thick with emotion. Her behaviour scared me for she was always so optimistic, seeing her so tired and gaunt wreaked havoc with my emotions. I reached forward and grabbed her thin hand; I'll never forget how cold it was or how small it felt between my large hands.
"It's alright my dear." I whispered softly giving her what little comfort I could. "Whatever's the matter we can get through it, tackle it head on! Together, you and I, nothing can come between us!" When her eyes clouded over I honestly thought for one foolish second she was going to die but she was quick to dash such worries aside but in the process crushed my heart.
"I can't Albus." I could feel tears prickling their way forward. "I can't continue like this any longer."
I kissed her hand and my tears began to fall. "I love you!" I pleaded. "I love you!"
"And I loved us." Was her cryptic answer.
"Loved?" I somehow managed to choke forth. "You love me no longer?" I looked straight into her shining emerald eyes, searching for an answer. I saw pain and suffering reflected in her eyes but I refused to look away.
"I loved us, Albus. Us. I truly did!"
People say I talk in riddles! But perhaps it was the potions…
"WHY!" Albus banged his fist against the oak desktop startling Fawkes who gave a loud shriek and flapped his wings. In the bird's mad flight for freedom he knocked over many of the objects on the shelf behind and the wizarding wireless fell to floor.
She
May be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
"Oh Minerva!" Albus buried his head in his hands but he could not block out the song.
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.
Through his fingers he could see ginger newts scattered across the floor. In Fawkes' fright he also managed to knock over the tin Albus kept hidden from the world. Just the scent brought memories back to him. Albus inhaled deeply as a flood of images rushed through his mind.
Her dazzling smile.
Her melodious laugh.
Her faint Scottish lilt.
She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
Seeing her everyday was torture but Albus would not have it any other way for the alternative would surely be living hell. He longed to see her but at the same time dreaded it. Meals in the Great Hall were the worst, when he could feel her presence so close, when their fingers brushed passing the milk or butter. The spark between them was undeniable yet both did their best suppress their feelings.
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell
Her shell? Yes, she did retreat into her shell. Does anyone really know Minerva McGonagall? I thought I did…
"Headmaster." To hear that word roll off her tongue hurts me more than any cruciatus curse could.
She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
But she opened up to me once. Allowed me to see past the proud façade. I knew her! I know her! My Minerva! I was the one who held her close when news of her father came! It was my shoulder she cried on! My voice that soothed her! My arms that comforted her! She came to me
"She came to me…" He concluded in a voice barely above a whisper.
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die
Our love is strong! I know it's still there! I must make her see sense! Whatever happened surely we can work through it!? Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of the fun loving Minerva that I previously knew and loved.
"I want more than these precious memories Fawkes…I want my Minerva…Minerva, my dear"
Fawkes flew back to Albus and settled himself on the wizard's shoulder.
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
"She."
A/N: This fic has almost come to an end. All that is left is Minerva's POV.