Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to J.K. Rowling and I forgot to mention that the song in Part IV, She, is not mine either it was sung by Elvis Costello.
March 15th
Part V"I thought I could protect you little one. What sort of a mother was I? You were snuggled safely in my womb and even that wasn't good enough! I failed you! I failed him! I failed us!"
Minerva transformed into her feline form. In her alter ego emotions were dampened and not so heart wrenchingly raw. Sobs could not escape only strange, entangled, twisted meows. However the animagi transformation required concentration, demanded a certain amount of strength and power of which Minerva had none so there she lay once again in a heap on the grass. Her wails echoed across the lake and the Forbidden Forest. She tenderly placed her hand across her flat stomach.
A stomach that never had the chance to swell…Tears fell from her green eyes as images of a life never to be flashed before her minds eye.
A wailing blue-eyed baby, red puffy cheeks and a tuft of thick black hair…
A three-year old, her ebony locks scraped into a spiky ponytail on the top of her head. Her brilliant blue eyes twinkling divinely as she laughed at her father…
A beautiful five- year old, dark hair in a plait, cuddled close to her mother as she read a story…
"I can't do this!" Minerva screamed out loud but her voice faltered as she sobbed, "I just can't do this!"
"Do what my dear?" His voice was soft and she need not turn around to recognize it. That deep masculine tone with a hint of sadness could only belong to one person, one wizard and one man – Albus Dumbledore.
Minerva closed her eyes and prayed to Merlin, Zeus, Jesus and whoever else was out there that she had just imagined that voice.
I'm imagining that strong but tender hand on my shoulder slowly making it's way down to the small of my back. Those familiar scents of chocolate, sherbet lemons and a touch of Albus are not real. That figure settling himself down beside me in deep, dark blue robes is just a figure of my imagination.
"Minerva, my dear…"
Minerva clenched her hands together and heatedly ripped fists of grass from the ground.
It is just my imagination running away with me! That soft thumb brushing away tears from my cheek is not really there and under no circumstances am I leaning into that nonexistent touch!
"My Minerva, please look at me."
His voice sounds so soothing, so comforting and so real. But I must not open my eyes if I do this dream will fade and disappointment and sorrow will once again consume me.
"Minerva, my dear, please. It tortures me to see you in such pain."
She stopped demolishing the earth around her and her thin frame started to tremble. She buried her head in her hands as she wept.
If only I could wash away my sorrows with these tears!
Slowly she gained control of herself and managed to open her eyes. There in front of her was the very same man who haunted her nightmares but at the same time was also the main character of her happiest dreams. Albus Dumbledore, flesh and bones.
They fell silent and a blue speckled bird hopped forth pecking at the longs strands of grass, it made no sound but suddenly starting shaking, quaking and heaving. Without warning the tiny bird let out an earsplitting scream. They both covered their ears but could not tear their eyes away from the magical creature. It went stiff, fell onto its back and with its claws in the air silence ascended once more.
A deafening silence filled with pain and suffering. Jobberknolls keel over and die in my presence!
"Do you love me Minerva?" The question caught her off guard but she knew he had poured his heart and soul into asking it.
"I loved us." She whispered.
"Is that a no?" She could hear the sorrow in his voice.
"Albus," She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "I loved us."
Although considered the greatest wizard of his time Albus Dumbledore could not for all the gold in Gringotts decipher her hidden message. But a part of Minerva, a very large part, wanted him to unravel her secret, their secret. She was tired of carrying the burden alone, though scared of his reaction she knew the time had finally come.
"Us, Albus, us…" She whispered covering his hand with her own as silent tears fell from her eyes.
Through the blur Minerva could see Albus as he sat in front of her, mouth slightly open and eyes staring in confusion while the wheels in his head worked overtime.
Stop crying! She chided herself. He needs to know!
She sniffed and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. She took a deep breath, gathered her courage and with humungous effort gazed into his tear-filled, deep blue eyes. Gently she placed her trembling right hand on his left cheek. She could feel the spark between them; the hair on her neck raised instinctively but Albus seemed not to notice. She swallowed as he leaned into her touch.
"Us." She repeated her left hand still cover his on her stomach. She saw the haze in his eyes ascend as the gravity of the situation at last befell.
"Us?" He choked. His face twisted into distortion and his pain carved deep lines into his features. Minerva knew now that he finally realized the true meaning behind the word 'us'. His gaze flickered between her stomach and her eyes but Minerva knew words could not express the hurt he was feeling.
The hurt I have caused!
However long they sat there in silence neither could tell but Minerva knew she had to say something. Her voice found it incredibly difficult to get past the lump in her throat but she persevered and a raspy whisper spilled forth.
"I'm sorry Albus. I truly am."
Must he look at me with such wonderfully handsome eyes? But now there is no mistaking the sorrow and regret filling the once loving eyes. What have I done!?
Minerva made to stand.
He needs time alone. Completely understandable. I am the last person he wants to see!
But she felt his hand on her stomach snake it's way around her waist pulling her towards him. The back of his other hand gently caressed her cheek as she settled uncertainly in his lap. His finger traced her jaw line and his blue eyes never once left her green.
"Al-"
He placed a finger upon her lips silencing her.
"It is I who should be apologizing my dear." Tears rolled down his cheeks and into his beard but still he continued. "If I had known…I'm sorry Minerva…I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through…what these years must have been like…"
Minerva felt tears once again well up threatening to fall. She wanted to say something, anything but his fingers on her lips rendered her speechless. There was no denying how good it felt to finally be in the arms of her beloved after all these years. It was the safest and most loved she had felt in 30 years. Albus pulled her closer, one hand cradled her head to his chest and she buried her face in his beard. He placed his lips to the top of her head and together they sat there as the sun began to set gently rocking back and forth, both seeking comfort in one another and both mourning the death of their unborn child.
Long after dark Minerva pulled back and stared deep into Albus' eyes reflecting in the moonlight. Her mouth was dry but she managed to lick her lips and whisper,
"I love you."
Albus softly placed both of his hands on her tearstained cheeks and he too whispered the words she had longed to hear for 30 years.
"And I love you Minerva."
He carefully leant down and placed a tender kiss upon her lips. Although gentle held no less emotion as they both poured all their feelings into their actions. There, in the darkness, old wounds healed. Together they could pull through anything.
At breakfast the next morning most were seated and things were proceeding as normal. The Headmaster entered and took his place, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles though none but Poppy and Filius noticed. Minerva sat down not long after and placed a slice of toast on her plate. What happened next had the whole Head Table in a state of shock.
"Albus darling, could you please pass the butter?"
A/N: I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read March 15th and a special thank you to all who reviewed! Good gosh I can't believe it! This is my first completed multiple chapter fic! Thank you all ever so much!