A/N: I'm sorry I'm slowing down my update speed. There are a few reasons behind it. Firstly, I'm taking the advice of one of my reviewers and slowing down considerably to improve my story. Secondly, I'm encountering some… personal problems here at home and I'm a little annoyed by those… problems. Thirdly, it is finals week at school and I need to study. Fourthly, I am a member of a family of six with only one computer that can access the internet so I need to share it. Fifthly, I'm a little stressed by the above events/problems so I'm trying to calm myself down. I still will be writing this story, even though I may be slow on the updates. Lastly, as I mentioned a few chapters ago, I do have a life and I live it to the fullest while I'm still a teenager.
By the way, I hate the English version of "Naruto." The people who translated it did it all wrong. I realize that we're dealing with two different languages but the constant "Believe it!" shouts and the butchering of the Japanese word "Jutsu" really piss me off. The English version, in my opinion is just too annoying to watch so I just look at the manga or the Japanese version. Manga and anime are always a lot better in Japanese, if they are made in Japan.
Anyway, that's enough ranting from me, here are the review responses. By the way, I realize that there was a problem with the review option. I'm sorry if it caused you any trouble.
Underdark Ranger: You'll see a lot of Naruto's inner workings in this chapter, I promise you.
Causeiambetta: That is why I put them there. Naruto deserves to have some company, doesn't he?
LoveDetermination: Iruka is becoming less like a prick towards Naruto as the story progresses. That is what I believe happened during the actual story. Also, Naruto is a lot more than he appears in the manga. At least, that is what I believe.
Dilandau-Baka: It wasn't supposed to be an excuse, but that is what it came out to be. This story is mostly a compilation of all my unpublished ideas in the past. I thought of this particular idea about a month ago. This question was supposed to make the other students think about their families. "What's a family?" is a simple question, but it is almost impossible to give an accurate response, especially if you are only 9 years old.
Dragon Man 180: The question, like I said, was supposed to make the students, and my readers think. Even I don't think I can answer that question accurately to a person who has never had a family. Also, like I said, Iruka is becoming less of a prick towards Naruto. He did not really want to force Naruto to go up there. If he did, he would have called Naruto up there himself. Instead, Iruka skipped Naruto entirely to spare him the embarrassment. Iruka was forced to call him when Kiba protested.
Demon of Konoha: I like the sticky room idea. Do you mind if I tweak it a little then use it? Also, Dragon Man 180 already suggested the Oiroke no Jutsu combination with Iruka. Thanks for the review/suggestions. Watch carefully for your prank!
Yared: No, I will not be updating daily. I give my reasons at the beginning of this chapter.
Joecool4: I am going to keep the teams the same, but there will be some tweaking from this point onward. You will see some major changes that I can't exactly compare to the real thing because the changes don't occur in the real thing.
Demon of Konoha (again): THANK YOU! That is what I've been trying to convey to everyone. Naruto is not an idiot! I also agree with you in the socially inept theory. Naruto, without any exposure to friendship, is extremely inept in personal relations. Concepts such as love and friendship are alien to him since he was never exposed to it as a child. Remember, Naruto spent a year out in the streets scraping by with what he could find. Before that, he was in an orphanage that hated him for something he had absolutely no control over.
Orozoni: I agree. Naruto is not dumb, he just acts that way. Naruto is not ignorant, he just acts like it. Naruto is not naïve, he just acts like it. That is what this story is about.
Anime-Boy07: I warned you about Tommy. (Pulls Tommy off tattered form of Anime-Boy07) Now, please don't make that mistake again. I have more friends like Tommy here. Isn't that right, Tommy? (Tommy: purr)
Kitsu Maharu: Oh, is your tail okay? Are you okay? Do you two know each other (referring to Dragon Man 180)? Anyway, thanks for the reviews (Plural, she left two, like Demon of Konoha). I will try to make up for the lack of speed with a longer chapter. Also, you like cows, don't you?
VenomLord: Thanks for the PM! I realize that there were problems with the review system and I think it's fixed now. Also, I am thanking you for your advice. As you can probably tell, I am slowing down a little bit. I don't want my imagination to be too stressed, do I?
Yes, Tommy purrs. He can be very calm when he wants to be. He only attacks those who say I own things that I don't, like Naruto, for instance. I personally like to sleep on Tommy since his fur is so soft and fluffy. I also have a few other friends like Tommy here. Anyway, enjoy the next installment of "Cheerfulness Incarnate"
Disclaimer: As experienced by Anine-Boy07, don't say I own Naruto. Otherwise, my friend Jessie the red ox will trample upon your body. Don't think I'm kidding.
(Chapter Begins, 4 years after the last one)
Naruto woke up with a start, slightly groggy due to the rude, yet useful device placed not three inches from his left ear. Naruto remembered what day it was and quickly got ready. It was the day before the genin test. It was also about 2:00 in the morning. Naruto had one last thing to do before he left the accursed school. He picked up his scrolls which held a seal that summoned his prank materials and headed off to pull his most infamous prank yet. Although it would be very hard to beat the prank from last year which involved the teacher's lounge, glue, glitter, blue and pink paint, well placed genjutsu and a variety of traps. The student body still snickered about the incident and the faculty still cringes at the mere mention of it.
Naruto activates one of his new techniques and sneaks to his target area, invisible. He thinks about the things that the people did to him as he does his master prank. He deliberately passes by certain people's houses since some people were actually civil towards him. Armed with his various, modified prank materials, he created his masterpiece. He finished his deed and sealed his materials away inside the scrolls he brought. He then returned inside his home to await the chaos of the next morning. He smiled as he thought of his afternoon project. His eyes then drooped; sleep taking him to a world of nightmares, like always. It was 4:30 in the morning.
(POV change, later)
A few hours later, the village activity could be described in one word; chaotic. Everyone had trouble getting out of their homes. For some reason, all the doors and windows were glued shut. Certain ninja had to fend for their lives inside their own home, traps plaguing their every move. Most of the villagers were unable to get out of their homes. The ninja were annoyed greatly since their teleportation techniques only carried them to the next room. The streets were calm as only a few figures traversed upon it. Shino, Chouji, Hinata, and Shikamaru walked around their respective parts of the city, only able to contain their immense laughter as people tried everything to get out of their homes. Sandaime Hokage laughed heartily as he let a few ANBU do their job. Although, the ANBU were much different than they were on a normal day. For example, one ANBU was painted all the colors of the rainbow, his mask being an exception. Another ANBU was unfortunate enough to have a turtle shell made of rock glued on his back. A third ANBU was obviously the victim of a classic tar-and-feather gag. Ironically, this ANBU's mask was that of a chicken. The deformed ANBU attempted to break the glue that was placed on the doors and windows as some chuunin and jounin broke the genjutsu in the shinobi's homes.
Hours later, the normal village activity continued. The only difference was that the traps that were set inside the homes still were active and the pranks involving paint, glue or other art supplies were not coming off the skin of the villagers. In other words, the people of Konoha looked extremely annoyed and seriously odd since such pranks were set in all affected houses. Only the Nara family, the Akamichi family and the Aburame family remained unharmed. The Hyuuga family was given a prank worthy of their status, the exception being Hyuuga Hinata, who mysteriously emerged unharmed from the chaos of the Hyuuga estate. Every other student was the victim of some prank inside their home. Some students were unfortunate enough to get hit by two or more pranks at once so those students came to school as rainbow chickens or the like.
The students were assembled inside the classroom, awaiting the time when the various, modified art materials would wear off. Iruka walked inside the room wearing a large cone-shaped hat which read "Dunce." He was also wearing enough makeup to make him look like a girl, and he did. Miss Umino looked around to see that his students shared a similar fate, the exceptions sitting in the back, chuckling softly.
(Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the village)
Naruto lay on the grass of his favorite forest area and thought about what he usually thought.
"Why do they hate me? Sure, I gave them plenty of pranks but they never really hurt anybody…much. Anyway, I was hated even before I decided to prank everyone who hurt me. Even now, 8 years later, I ask, why? I never did anything to deserve this. I shouldn't have to be out here every so often just so I don't crack in front of everyone. Nobody has given me the opportunity to live normal life. Hokage-oji-san has tried, but it's still not enough. I appreciate what he did, but it still hurts. Hinata-san, Shikamaru-san, and Chouji-san help a little bit, but they can't replace a true family. That is my one true wish. That is a wish that I desire more than being Hokage. I wish… for a true family. I want a family that loves me for being me; a family that cares if I get hurt. Unfortunately, that is a wish that I think will never come true."
Naruto noticed tears running down his face and quickly wiped them away. "You must not cry. You quit crying 7 years ago! You promised that you would not cry! You must keep that promise!"
Naruto sighed sadly as he stopped crying. Nobody has ever seen his tears and, if he could help it, nobody ever will. Naruto checked his makeshift clock as he sighed again. Everything he owned was a reminder of his terrible life. He stood as he walked out of the clearing, placing his costume back on his body, piece by piece. When he finished, he did three seals and vanished. He charged chakra into his feet and walked upon the rock faces. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a scroll, similar to the one he used that very morning. He summoned paint to paint all over the faces of the previous Hokage. He remembered the actions of the Third and Fourth so he held back on the obscenities on their faces. Every stoke he made seemed to disappear as the placed a genjutsu over them. He finished about 30 minutes later and jumped off the monument to the roof of another house. He then released the technique he placed on himself and the genjutsu he placed on the mountain.
Everyone looked up as the light shimmered around the Hokage monument to reveal graffiti all over the faces of the Hokage. Shinobi had their mouths on the nearest solid object as they looked upward. Immediately, Naruto saw the results of his first prank as a zebra and a sea urchin started to give chase to the young genin-to-be. He laughed heartily as he sealed his materials away. The ninja drew closer as Naruto began to perform some seals. When they were about 3 feet away, Naruto swung his arms backward, sending a gust of wind backward. Naruto flew forward as a new species of flying zebra and an air urchin was born. Naruto performed another set of seals, sending a clone into existence right in front of him. By this time, the two animals/ninja had recovered and began to give chase to Naruto. They passed a wooden fence as Naruto touched down and jumped away. The ninja animals followed closely as they passed the fence without a second glance.
Naruto then emerged from the fence saying one thing.
"That was too easy."
"Was it, Naruto?" a voice asked from behind him.
Naruto turned around only to burst out laughing. Iruka was standing behind him with a very annoyed expression on his face. Iruka dragged the hysterical boy to the classroom. As soon as they got there, Naruto burst out in laughter again, gaining the glares of everyone present. A few of the new fashions caught his interest. Inuzuka Kiba looked like an orange cat. On the top of his hooded jacket, which was glued to the top of his head, was a pair of cat ears which Akamaru bit fiercely. He also had black stripes along his orange skin. Haruno Sakura was green from head to toe. The color of her eyes matched the color of her skin. Uchiha Sasuke was purple with white stamps on his skin, some reading, "Moron" and "Dobe." All the above people wore extremely annoyed expressions, seeing that the prank was made specifically for them.
Iruka made everyone practice Henge no Jutsu in class, "Since Naruto missed it." Everyone was able to do a perfect replication of Iruka. Some even copied the dunce hat and makeup. When it was Naruto's turn, he did something different. Iruka was thrown back with a nosebleed as Naruto changed back.
"How do you like my Oiroke no Jutsu, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto said, laughing at his somewhat incapacitated teacher. Iruka jumped back and yelled at him.
"Don't invent stupid skills, baka!"
The rest of the class progressed smoothly, his friends congratulating him on the massive prank against the village. They also thanked him for not including their families in their prank, though Hinata seemed a little more cheerful that day.
Naruto spent the next two hours after school cleaning the Hokage monument. They still weren't able to pin the "village makeover" prank on Naruto so he wasn't punished. Naruto seemed incredibly annoyed as he finished. His stomach growled loudly as he stared at Iruka with eyes full of spite. The eyes were emptied then filled with a thankful expression as Iruka offered to treat him to Ramen. Even if he doesn't fully trust him, Naruto seemed to grow on Iruka.
"Ne, ne, Iruka-sensei, can I ask you a question?"
"Do you want another bowl of ramen?"
"Yes, but I also wanted to ask you something else."
"Nan deska, Naruto."
"Can I try on your hitai-ite, onegaishimasu?" Naruto asked, pleading.
"Iie, Naruto, you can't wear one of these until you graduate tomorrow. Gomen."
Naruto gave up at that point and continued to eat his thirteenth bowl of ramen. Iruka then walked Naruto home, sending Naruto to get ready for tomorrow's exams.
(POV change)
Naruto entered his apartment as he took off his costume. Sure, he could let it become a little loose around his friends and Iruka, but it still stressed him to keep it up, even slightly. Keeping it up is like wearing a large set of weights on his heart. Sure, Naruto wore real weights on his body, but these weights really wear him out during the day. He was extremely tired from the massive prank that day so he immediately changed and went to bed, exhausted.
(The Next Day)
Naruto was nervous. He knew that he wasn't stupid, but it was his nervousness that kept him from passing the genin exam. He always froze on the written exam, his mind went blank during the taijutsu exam, and he couldn't focus enough to do the Bunshin no Jutsu, the technique he was worst at. Sure, Naruto could do it, but he couldn't concentrate with that kind of pressure on him. Naruto barely passed the written and Taijutsu exams and he was now in the ninjutsu exam. He had to do the Bunshin no Jutsu.
Naruto focused a lot of chakra and attempted to do the technique. He basically shouted the name of the technique. "BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"
A large puff of smoke appeared and cleared to see Naruto with a half-dead clone beside him. Naruto looked miserable as Iruka basically shouted, "YOU FAIL!"
"Iruka, maybe we should let him pass. He did make a clone."
"No, Mizuki, all the others made at least three useful clones. Naruto's couldn't do anything.
(Later 3rd person POV)
Naruto sat outside on his favorite swing. He saw the graduating class being congratulated and felt a pang in his heart. He looked sadly onward as he knew that would never happen to him.
Two people stood just outside his hearing range. They spoke softly as to not raise alarm.
"It's a good thing they didn't let him pass. There's no telling what will happen if he becomes a shinobi. I mean, he's the de…"
She was interrupted by the other person. "You know saying that is forbidden. Also, I know what you mean. That would be disastrous."
Naruto looked upward to see Mizuki in the tree.
"Naruto, Iruka's only trying to be mean to you. I'll show you a way to pass." Mizuki then ran off signaling for Naruto to follow him. Naruto followed readily, ready to do just about anything to pass.
(Later)
Sarutobi walked around his home that night. He enjoyed doing this to calm the nerves and think about what he can do for the village. He then spotted a shadow. He walked towards it to see a blonde boy holding a large scroll. Knowing only one blonde boy that age, he made his presence known.
"Naruto, what are you doing here?" He asked in a kind voice.
Naruto looked shocked as he began to speak. Take this, Jiji! Uzumaki Naruto Jutsu no Ougi! Oiroke no Jutsu!
Sarutobi saw a nude blonde female in front of him and quickly reacted as such. The Hokage could be found lying in a pool of blood originating from his nose.
(Later)
Many shinobi were dispatched to pursue the thief of the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. Iruka immediately began checking all of Naruto's usual areas as Mizuki immediately went to where he advised Naruto to learn the techniques in the scroll. Iruka checked quickly in his most usual areas, the forest being the last place to look. Obviously, he found Naruto in the last place he looked. As soon as he got to where Naruto was, Naruto turned and looked sheepish.
"Sorry, Iruka-sensei, I only learned 1 of the techniques in the scroll. But that means I pass, right?"
"Naruto, where did you get that idea?"
"Mizuki-sensei told me to get this scroll and learn one thing from it to pass. I learned one, so I pass, right?"
"Na…" Iruka was interrupted by a rustle of leaves. Iruka immediately pushed Naruto away as he braced himself for the hail of kunai. Mizuki emerged in the trees near the clearing with a smug look.
"Naruto, give me the scroll."
"No, Naruto! Don't give Mizuki the scroll! He only plans to use it to get stronger!"
"Naruto, Iruka is only trying to trick you. In fact, the village has been tricking you for thirteen years!"
"No, Mizuki, you know it's forbidden to say that."
"Say what?" Naruto asked, confused.
"He does not want me to say that you are the beast that killed his parents. You are the scourge of Konohagakure. You have Kyuubi no Yoko sealed within you. You are the Nine-Tailed Fox!
Naruto began to run, confusion marking his features. He ran, fear clouding his judgment. He heard the sounds of fighting so he followed. He reached a second clearing where he saw Iruka and Mizuki talking/fighting.
"Iruka, don't you see, Naruto is just like me."
"How's that, Mizuki?"
"You see, Naruto is going to use that scroll to destroy the village. That is how beasts are."
"You're right." Iruka said simply.
Naruto began to scream inside his head. This was extremely heartbreaking. One of the only people to treat him as he really is was saying that he was a beast.
"Even Iruka-sensei thinks I'm just a beast, a freak, a…a… demon! I shouldn't even be here. I should just curl up and die." Naruto was thrust back into reality with Iruka's next statement.
"You're right, that is how beasts are. But that is not how Naruto is. He is a kind young man who cares for those around him. He is a valued member of this village. He is Konohagakure no Uzumaki Naruto!"
Naruto began to cry in joy when he heard these words. He snapped back into reality as Mizuki moved to kill Iruka. Naruto leapt into action and kicked Mizuki in the head, the scroll still tied to his back. He stood about 6 feet away from Mizuki's fallen body. Mizuki began to stand as Naruto began to speak.
"If you try to hurt my sensei, I'll KILL you!"
"Heh, it's not like you can do anything, demon."
"Give it your best shot. I'll return every blow a hundredfold." Naruto then raised his hands into a cross shaped hand-seal as he focused chakra. He released his chakra in the form of a jounin level technique. "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" could be heard in the clearing as a couple thousand Naruto copies filled the area. Mizuki fell over, shocked that the "demon spawn" could perform this technique. Naruto smiled smugly before all his copies spoke in unison.
"Well, aren't you going to hit me? If you don't make a move, I will."
Naruto's punches could be heard across the village, along with Mizuki's scream. Chakra filled attacks rained upon the poor chuunin, leaving him in clinging to life. Iruka still sat propped against a tree, shocked at Naruto's progress. He smiled as he was reminded of his own antics years ago. He then regained his voice as Naruto reached him.
"Heh, I think I overdid it, Iruka-sensei."
"Naruto, could you come here for a second? I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes, please."
Naruto complied as everything went dark. He could feel something heavy and comfortable on his forehead as he began to become impatient.
"Iruka-sensei, can I open my eyes now?"
"Yes, Naruto, open them." Naruto opened his eyes to see that nothing had changed, save for one thing. Iruka's forehead was bare. Naruto took a minute to realize that the heavy and comfortable object upon his forehead was none other than Iruka's headband. Iruka smiled as he began to speak again.
"Congratulations, Naruto. You graduate! Now, let's go to Ichiraku's to celebrate."
Naruto stared at him in utter surprise for about a minute before Iruka's abdomen was caught in a bone-crushing hug.
"Iruka-sensei!"
"Naruto, this is only the beginning. Many troubles will await you now that you are a genin. But, I'll tell you that later, over ramen." Iruka thought as he tried to wrench his overly enthusiastic student off of his abdominal area.
(End Chapter)
Techniques:
Henge no Jutsu: Transformation Technique
Oiroke no Jutsu: Sexy Technique, created by Naruto
Bunshin no Jutsu: Clone Technique
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu: Shadow Clone Technique
(End Techniques List)
Translations:
Dobe: Dead Last; used usually to describe Naruto
Baka: Idiot, Moron, etc.
Ne: Hey; used as an attention grabber
Nan Deska: What is it?
Hitai-ite: Headband in Naruto
Onegaishimasu: Polite form of "Please"
Iie: No
Gomen: Sorry
Jiji: Gramps
Uzumaki Naruto Jutsu no Ougi: Uzumaki Naruto Ultimate Technique
Kyuubi no Yoko: Mystic Nine-Tailed Fox
Konohagakure no Uzumaki Naruto: Uzumaki Naruto of the Village Hidden in the Leaves
(End Translations)
A/N: I have a chocolate shake. (Slurp) I (slurp) hope you (slurp) liked (slurp) the chapter (slurp). Please (slurp) update (slurp) for me. (Slurp) I like (slurp) chocolate shakes. (Slurp)
Revision Notice: Due to the complaints of one of my reviewers. I am not going to use any more Japanese terms outside the technique names and honorifics. I understand that the Japanese terms could get annoying so I will stop using them. Have a nice day! (Revised June 15, 2006)