Title: Apotheosis
Series: sequel to Nexus
Author: Akuni
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: M for 'Much Smut'
Pairing: Renji/Ichigo
Spoilers: read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs
Summary: One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.
Word Count: 60,000ish
Warnings: There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.
Distribution: Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

Dedication: To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's damned hot!

A/N: I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

Chapter 4 - Trepidation

"Do they ever end?" Ichigo grunted as he slashed through yet another cat-sized Hollow. "These little buggers are so annoying!"

"I think I'd rather fight Huge Hollows than these," Kira agreed.

The Division was supposed to be on a routine patrol, but they'd soon encountered a rather weak looking Hollow. Junior squad members had dispatched it easily, only to release a seemingly endless stream of miniature Hollows from the fake shell of the old. They swarmed like bugs – individually they weren't difficult to defeat, but their strange size and the sheer number of them made the experience uncomfortably creepy.

"This isn't normal, is it?"

"No," Kira replied. He muttered a quick incantation and a ball of red energy blasted into the thickest part of the swarm. "Definitely not normal."

"So pretty much like everythin' else around here lately." Ichigo swept away a half dozen of the creatures as they bore down and threatened to overwhelm a frightened recruit.

"Th-thank you, Kurosaki-dono!"

"Less talkin', more fighting," Ichigo reminded him, pointedly skewering another Hollow. "An' I already told you guys not to call me that."

"Yes, Ku–Ichigo-dono!"

Eh, whatever. They weren't bad, Ichigo noted as the young shinigami turned to fight solidly beside an even greener recruit. They just need more experience, and a bit of confidence and leadership. Kira's actually not a bad leader, but no one's givin' these guys any room – they haven't got a chance.

He stepped back as the other shinigami thinned the swarm. No, they weren't much different from any other squad, at least that he'd seen. They had a lot more new members, though, most of them young, which made things a little more difficult for the veter—

"Hey, you're wide open over there, watch it!" Ichigo deflected another Hollow as it launched itself toward a recruit's unguarded chest. It shrieked as it tumbled away, only to vapourize as another squad member caught it in a blast of lightning.

"Sorry, Ichigo-dono!" she squeaked.

"Don't be sorry, just stay focused." Ichigo looked around. It wasn't long before he found himself leaping to the aid of another flustered recruit; Kira had been doing the same throughout the fight.

These kids need a few lessons in fear. Ichigo thought back to his own training with Urahara. Not a single one of the new ones has found their resolve. He made a mental note to discuss it with Kira when they returned to headquarters.

§

After the patrol, Kira readily agreed that the 3rd Division would benefit from some enhanced training exercises. Kira decided to speak with Soi Fong about enhancing hakuda training, while Ichigo went to ask Unohana-taichou about ways to improve morale.

"Yo, Ichigo!"

Ichigo's heart sank – he'd forgotten to check his map. Not him again! He turned reluctantly to greet the owner of the too-hearty voice. "Kenpachi."

The 11th Division captain loomed behind him. "Hope ya been trainin'! Ya ready to fight, Ichigo?"

Ichigo ran through the possible responses in his mind. Can't say no, he'll just come back. Can't run away, he'll just chase me. Can't ignore him, he'll just start swingin' at me. Guess that leaves…

"Oi, Kenpachi!" Ichigo stepped back a pace. "I'm busy right now, but I'll make ya a deal."

"Eh? What kinda deal, hey?" Zaraki's bells chimed as he cocked his head at Ichigo.

"I'll spar with ya once a week – with strict limitations, like 'no killing' – if ya quit buggin' me about it in between," Ichigo offered. I must be insane, but I can't think of any other way to get him off my back without one of us bein' dead! Deader. Whatever.

"Once a week, huh?" Zaraki's face wrinkled as he thought this over. "Gonna hold ya to it, Ichigo!"

"Yay, Ken-chan has a play date with Icchy!" Yachiru bobbed up into view, smiling hugely.

"Er, yeah, whatever." Ichigo made a face and hastily excused himself, explaining that he was supposed to be meeting with Unohana-taichou.

What've I gotten myself into?!

§

Has it already been five weeks? Feels like five days… or five years, I can't tell. Renji was still in bed, enjoying the quiet morning – a rarity lately. The attacks still came every few days, and their randomness was baffling. Still, the Divisions were handling it as best they could, some days better than others.

I know it ain't just me thinkin' that Ichigo's bein' here plays a part in that. He's breathin' life in t' the system. Renji smiled into the darkness. Breathin' life in t' me, too. Never knew how easy it'd be t' share everythin' with someone. I kinda miss the stupid fights we used t' have, though. The smile turned into a grin. The makin' up part would be much more fun, now.

Ichigo stirred beside him, wrapping himself more tightly around Renji's body.

"Mornin'." Renji pressed his lips to the bright hair sharing his pillow.

"Already? Don't wanna get up."

"So don't."

"But I've got that extra training thing this afternoon I promised Kira I'd do for the recruits," Ichigo groaned.

"Ya got hours yet, then. Go back t' sleep."

"Can't, you've gone all tense 'cause you're thinkin' too much."

"Sorry."

"Anything you wanna tell me about?"

"Eh, just thinkin' 'bout how much better things are since ya got here," Renji smiled again. "Not just for me, though I love havin' ya here every mornin' an' every night." He wiggled one foot in between Ichigo's ankles. "Seein' what ya've done for everyone else. 'Specially the 3rd, an' Kira."

"I'm just tryin' to do my job, like everyone else."

"Ya don't know, 'cause ya weren't here t' see how it was before everythin' went bad, but 3rd used t' be a solid Division. An' Kira…" Renji trailed off, remembering the smiling face of the young man he'd trained with.

"What about him?"

"He was a different man, then. Nothin' like when you first met 'im, yanno at the start a' the war. That bastard, his pathetic excuse for a captain, screwed him up good." Renji didn't want to waste energy hating the traitorous ex-captains, but some days it was harder than others. Kira had become a cold, melancholy man under Ichimaru. There were more frequent glimpses of the friendly, cheerful youth Renji had known in the academy, but he thought Kira would probably never regain the open innocence that had so endeared him to his classmates.

"Aizen probably helped, with that freaky ass zanpakutou," Ichigo pointed out.

"Yeah, they did a number on everyone. Kira, Hinamori... If Hitsugaya-taichou hadn't snapped her out a' her guilt… well, least she's happier now in the Kidoushuu."

"Good."

Renji sighed. "Che. Never thought it'd come t' that. Captains an' lieutenants turnin' traitor. Part a' me still can't get over it."

"Figured that's why you asked for Rukia for your lieutenant," Ichigo said. "Least you could trust each other."

"T' Hell an' back. Only other person I trust like that is you." A tingle ran through their combined energies. A hand on Renji's cheek turned his face so warm lips could claim his.

"The way you two squabble sometimes, you'd think you were related by blood," Ichigo smiled after they pulled apart.

Renji chuckled. "Was thinkin' how I kinda missed the way we used t' argue. The makin' up part'd be an awful lot a' fun."

Ichigo snickered into the pillow. "What do ya wanna fight about, then?"

"Don't think it'd be quite the same if we just made it up," Renji grinned. "Though ya do steal all the blankets when it's cold."

"Any excuse to get you closer."

"Hah, like ya need an excuse for that." Renji pressed closer to emphasize the point.

"So… does that mean you'd have me for your lieutenant, then?" Ichigo backed the conversation up a bit.

"Nah, don't think so."

"Eh?" Ichigo propped himself up on one elbow. "Why not?" There was a hint of challenge in his voice.

"Ahh…" Renji struggled to put it into words. "Well ok, it's not 'cause you wouldn't do a good job – 'cause ya would, I already told Shuuhei I thought ya'd be a damn good Captain someday. It's 'cause I wouldn't want t' have ya under me, s'all," he confessed. "We're partners in everythin' else. It wouldn't be right t' be in charge a' you."

Ichigo was silent as he considered the revelation. Then he grinned. "Ya didn't seem to mind havin' me under you last night," he said with exaggerated thoughtfulness.

Renji nearly choked on his laughter. "Nope, that's always good."

"'Course you're under me just as often, and ya don't seem to mind that, either," he continued over Renji's spluttering mirth.

"That's always good, too," Renji gasped as he fought to catch his breath.

"But you're right, I can see how that wouldn't really work tryin' to run a Division. Can you imagine if they had to share?"

Renji managed a grin. "Well for one thing, the cloaks just wouldn't fit!" The image of Yachiru peering out from under Zaraki's tattered cloak nearly sent him into another fit of laughter.

"Yanno, it might be kinda fun, though," Ichigo mused. "I wouldn't mind havin' you in charge for a little while," he winked suggestively.

"You'd hafta do what you're told, an' ya ain't too good at that," Renji smirked.

Ichigo was clearly fighting a smirk of his own. "Depends. I can if you can."

"In that case…" Renji put on his most authoritative voice. "First order, get over here an' kiss me."

"That's too easy." Ichigo kissed him, then ran his lips down the side of his neck. "Look, there's even a map!"

Renji struggled to keep his voice even. "Well you just keep followin' the map. Now, sex me up good!"

"Is that another order?" Ichigo's lips twitched noticeably, and his voice shook with restrained laughter.

"You bet it is."

"Yes, Abarai-taichou!" Ichigo rolled over him. "Right away, Abarai-taichou!" They looked at each other for a moment, then Ichigo collapsed on Renji's chest as they both burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Just as soon as we can breathe again!" Ichigo wheezed. "Did you really just tell me to 'sex you up good'?"

Renji just held on tightly and laughed even harder, squirming as Ichigo's tongue deliberately tickled his ear. He's the most fun I've ever had.

§

The situation was getting worse with each passing day. Ichigo felt the tension in the air surrounding even the newest shinigami recruits, which did nothing to ease his apprehension. All too soon he would have to return to his other life, leaving his friends and comrades here to fight without him. They were all strong, capable people, but he couldn't help worrying – one more strong fighter could sometimes be the difference between victory and defeat.

On a tactical level, Ichigo worried especially about the 3rd Division. He'd done his best to get to know some of the members and instil some confidence into them, but the prevailing attitude that the 3rd was a weak, 'cursed' Division worked against him. That the members of the 3rd believed it themselves made it even more difficult. As soon as Ichigo's efforts influenced one member to find pride in the Division, he encountered three more still radiating despair. It was an uphill battle, but he refused to sit by and let those young shinigami be defeated before they even got on the field.

He was more at ease with his friends' abilities to keep themselves alive, but the strain of the frequent, random attacks was beginning to show. Rarely were their friends all together in one place; all Divisions were on high alert, and patrols had been doubled. Their gatherings tended to be smaller and end earlier than before, though they were no less boisterous.

On a personal level, Ichigo ached at the thought of leaving Renji. It wasn't that he thought his lover couldn't handle it – on the contrary, Renji was one of the strongest people he'd ever known. They went full out against each other in training; they were confident enough in the other's skill not to hold back, and it was a relief having one less person to worry about protecting on the battlefield. This confidence and respect carried into other aspects of their lives together as well. They were competitive by nature, and extremely energetic. Wrestling matches were never conceded; they lasted until they were too tired to continue, or, as was more often the case, until the prolonged physical contact ignited the other spark between them. Having a lover as strong and resilient as yourself was a bonus in many ways. They weren't interested in violent bed play, but when their emotions were running high and they wanted it hard and fast and right now, they knew they didn't have to restrain their desire.

No, the cap to Ichigo's personal frustration wasn't worry; it was the thought of returning to the loneliness he felt without Renji around every day. They'd had ten weeks together, after making do with weekend and holiday visits for the better part of a year – returning to their old habits after this was going to be difficult. Especially since Ichigo knew exactly what kind of other difficulties Renji would be facing every day, this time without the comfort they found in each others' arms. The tension crept up on him when he least expected it, and he couldn't stop himself from being short with the people around him.

This won't be over before I have to leave. I don't have enough time…

§

Omake
Chapter 4 omake

Renji: Oo sex games, fun stuff!

Akuni: (grins) Glad ya liked it.
Ichigo: Oh yeah, that was fun as— Hey, just hold on a minute here! Ya got me sparring regularly with Kenpachi?! Are you freakin' insane?

Renji: (laughs) C'mon Ichigo, you can kick his ass any day a' the week!

Ichigo: Maybe, but it takes a lotta effort, yanno!

Akuni: Ichigo, it'll help make you stronger. And if you don't deal with him, he's just going to keep chasing you around.

Ichigo: … Damn, that's true. (sighs) I guess it won't be so bad.

Renji: An' ya get t' look cool doin' it, too. Maybe I'll come with ya an' watch.

Ichigo: You wanna watch me fight?

Renji: (flushes a bit) Yeah, so what?

Ichigo: I practice with you all the time.

Renji: That's different.

Ichigo: How?

Renji: (mumbles)

Ichigo: What was that?

Renji: I ain't sayin' it again! (blushes more)

Akuni: Ohh!

Renji: (is very red)

Akuni: Ichigo, I think… it's the coat.

Ichigo: Huh?

Akuni: You ever taken a look at yourself while you're in bankai?

Ichigo: Uh no? Not many mirrors on the battlefield, or in the training yard for that matter.

Akuni: I knew it… Renji, he's got no clue.

Renji: How can he not know?!

Akuni: This is Ichigo we're talking about here.

Renji: …Right.

Ichigo: (scowls) What're you two talkin' about?

Akuni: (looks at Renji)

Renji: (sighs) Ok. Ichigo, ya look damn good in that outfit, an' when ya fight… the way ya move, you're impossibly sexy.

Ichigo: (is floored) …really? (blushes furiously)

Renji: Hell yes. (stares hard at Ichigo and licks his lips)

Ichigo: Wow… I thought I... I mean… (clears throat) Then I guess I could tell ya that, uh… I always… I like watching you fight, too.

Renji: (blinks) The giant skeletal snake is a turn on?

Ichigo: No, not that! Your bankai is incredible but it's not… no, I meant, erm, when ya release your shikai. Always thought that was pretty cool… you do this jump thing when ya call Zabimaru, and when you attack your eyes kinda light up, and… (eyes Renji up and down) Yeah, you move good, too.

Renji: I had no idea… what else don't we know 'bout each other, I wonder? (raises eyebrows)

Ichigo: Heh, who knows… wanna find out? (grins suggestively)

Renji: (grins back)

Akuni: Ok I'm gonna go now…