This is the worst thing I have ever written, morally speaking. So much crack you'll have to go to the hospital. Enjoy.
Life of Domesticity
"No."
"Do it."
"I can't…!"
"Here."
"But it's-"
"It's what?" She took this moment of caution as an advantage to shove the funny little creature in his arms.
Several seconds passed. She busied herself with something nearby, leaving him to fend for himself against the thing.
"…This is my son." He said, more to himself than anyone else.
"Mmm." She broke a glass in the sink. "Are you surprised?"
"What?"
"That he looks normal." After a pause, she explained it herself. "It seems like something you'd be worried about."
His face convulsed for only a split second: he had been learning to keep a handle of his facial expressions. However, it was too late. The look confirmed her almost fool-proof suspicions. The baby stared back at him with a squirk in is eye and a wisp of red hair. It giggled, looking for all the world to be Rabi as an infant.
"I didn't…" Allen faltered, then started over. "We're not normal ourselves, you know."
"So you assume he'd be a monster? How cute."
"No… Just, it's normal."
"Oh, I didn't say he was normal." She gives him a jack-o-lantern grin, then gets up to leave. "I'm going to take a shower. Watch he doesn't eat your arms, dear."
He made to deposit the child back to its mother, but she was already gone.
"Hungry!"
"You can speak already?"
"Eat!"
"…Let's call Uncle Kanda."