Grissom was carefully unwrapping the gift from Sara when the plane began its reverse from the gate. Inside he found an Ipod and a handwritten note.
Gil,
This song explains how I am feeling better than I ever could. Please listen. Enjoy your trip. I will miss you.
Love,
SaraGrissom's heart was caught in his throat as he placed the earbuds in his ears and pressed play.
A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble
bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A
sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of
how
Mistakes became our medicine, so
Delay the hurtful
words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that
i'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets
stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In
quest for what we long to be
I might crumble, I might take a
fall again
(still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a
fall again
(still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a
fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Everlasting
friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up
late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A
sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life
script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go
But delay
the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the
message
That you taught me how to live at last
But i said my
confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave
respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but
I
might crumble, I might take a fall again
(still missing you)
I
might crumble, I might take a fall again
(still missing you)
I
might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting
friend
Will you be coming home?
(everlasting friend)
My
everlasting friend, will you be coming home?
(everlasting
friend)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(still
missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(still
missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I
might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might
take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I
might crumble, I might take a fall again
I just want to know that
you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming
home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want
to know that you'll be coming home
An hour into the flight, Grissom had listened to the song ten times. The genre was a bit modern for his taste, but he found the lyrics mesmerizing. Based on the accompanying note, the words of the song also held intense meaning to Sara. With each listen, Grissom attempted to dissect its message.
Relationship inside a bubble bath…To Grissom, the warmth and intimacy of a bubble bath mirrored the warmth and intimacy of his relationship with Sara. While the friendship of their past had been volatile, their friendship of the present was calm, or it had been until this week. The risk had been well worth the reward and he frequently regretted not acting upon his feelings much sooner than a year and a half ago.
Grissom knew instantly he wished to accept the offer to teach at Williams College. Personally, his life was as perfect as it could be. Professionally, however, the symptoms of burnout were undeniable. Because of Sara, his personal and professional life was inseparable. The two rarely discussed work in their off hours. Science yes, but never cases. It was an unspoken pact they shared from the night of their first date. Both he and Sara seemed to sense the need to learn each other's non-work selves. Surprisingly, Grissom learned workaholic Sara had a number of outside interests. The better surprise was the overlap of her hobbies with some of his own. In recent weeks, Grissom struggled to the let the door close on the lab as he left work each day. Sara was an attentive listener and even more attentive at comforting him. Still, he missed the easy-going repartee they shared and expected Sara missed it as well.
Undo the math…One plus one no longer equals two. His biggest fear was losing Sara as a result of the trip. This fear was the sole reason Grissom waited so long to tell her about the teaching offer.
Mistakes became our medicine…Grissom danced around Sara for the better part of six years before channeling the courage to pursue a relationship. Shamefully, he remembered the countless times he did or said something to hurt her. It was a bitter pill they both swallowed to arrive where they were today. Sara's selfless ability to forgive allowed him to let go of the albatross of guilt he carried for the first few months of dating. He aspired not only to correct the mistakes he made years ago but avoid new mistakes as well. Clearly, Sara considered his leave of absence a mistake. Grissom recognized convincing her otherwise was a necessity for survival.
We pray from miles away in quest for what we long to be…This trip had little to do with spatial distance, but rather distance from duty. Grissom's desire to extricate himself from the death and despair permeating all facets of his daily life was in hope of recapturing the love he once had for his profession. A local teaching offer would have been equally well-received, a notion he unsuccessfully tried to communicate to Sara.
I might crumble, I might take a fall again…Sara was in love with him. She signed today's note with this fact. Self-preservation kept her from saying the words, but he could see it in her face and feel it in her touch. Even if she initiated the end of their relationship, it would destroy her. Grissom knew an end would definitely destroy him. Self-preservation also kept him from vocalizing his love for her. He could only hope she saw it in his face and felt it in his touch.
A teardrop drip below your lip outside the airport gate…The eerie similarity of this line of the song and the reality of an hour ago was not lost on him.
A sudden slip from where we used to be a year ago…The pain Sara emoted during the past several days made him nauseous. He had hurt her plenty outside of a relationship, but, until seven days ago, never inside one.
A real-life script of how our hands would hold and not let go…Sara's actions in the airport now seemed purposeful. She ultimately broke contact. He hoped the symbolism of this moment only manifested in his imagination.
You taught me how to live at last…So apropos. The last eighteen months had been the best of his life. Instead of life revolving around work, work had begun to revolve around life. Sara was now his pursuit of happiness. It was a role his work once played. Balancing the two was difficult, particularly because they were so diametrically opposed. Sara had become his life. Work was always about death.
We wave respect goodbye…His hesitation to tell Sara about the job offer and involve her in the decision showed a total lack of respect for their relationship. He readily acknowledged as much. Grissom anticipated Sara would feel his departure indicated she was an inadequate source of emotional support. Nothing could be further from the truth, but he was cognizant of his inability to explain the sabbatical was only loosely correlated to their relationship. The attitude adjustment was for her, not in spite of her.
Will you be coming home…This was her singular question. Grissom almost laughed. They shared the same fear. That they were over.
After listening to the song one final time, Grissom sighed and looked at his watch. He had a short layover in Chicago. Hopefully, he would have time to take care of the task at hand. He pulled a pen from the inside of his jacket pocket and began to write.