THEMAKEROFLIGHT: Hello, I am the mekeroflight, and I'll be proof-reading all of Horros's chapters from now on, as he has no idea of how to use proper grammar.
THE DAY I KILL THE PRESIDENT
BY JAY ALLEN/HORROS
CHAPTER TWO THE GUY IN THE MASK WITH THE GOLDEN CLAW
The guy came closer to me and grabbed my neck with a golden mechanical claw and said "What did you see?"
"I see a lot of things; cats eating elephant's; dogs doing the cha cha on TV; aliens with super-intelligent monkeys! But you don't hear me complaining! By the way who are you?" I said
"Sorry, I'm the presidents guard of the law 7 or something I think. And you have seen some thing you shouldn't have." He said in a big voice.
"What?" I said
He pressed his mask on my forehead and said...
"Listen buddy, I don't have time to play games, unless you have cluedo."
"Ummmmmm... no." I said sarcastically.
"Be that way! Now what did you see?" He shouted.
I slowly reached for the laser in my pocket and kicked him off me. I shot him in the left arm when I heard screaming and barking from the garden.
"You wait here." I said
I ran out to the garden the slave was on the ground and Johnny's dog dragging what seems to be the corpse of a body. I looked around, there was no sign of Johnny. I went back into the shed the guy in the mask was gone. Damn! He ran away with my cluedo.
"Wait where's Squid?" I said.
He has taken squid to. Who shall I go for? Squid or my good friend Johnny...? Squid,I ran to my friend Mark's.
"I am going to need guns mark. Lots and lots of guns." I said.
"Sorry Jay no guns to day." Said Mark
"TELL ME WHERE THE BLOODY GUNS ARE!" I yelled at Mark.
"In the back." Said Mark.
I ran in the back and garbed a gun, a box that said "kids go wacko for crazy ammo", and a stick.
Mark said "Shhhhh! Do you want to get sued; you may want to delete that."
"No. It's mine now, screw you lawyers!" I said, and stuck the finger up to some zombies in suits outside Mark's fence.
I ran out the back door and hopped in my car. I had to go at 30 mph because gas costs so much to day I now have to pay 90 and some times 91. I really have to get them. Because Squid has the info on the government. Because of the UFO. And because the cluedo has Mr Mustard. I finally got to my destination, Burger King. The king was on his throne eating a nice, juicy, soft, tender beef and crap burger.
Horros: yum (starts drooling on floor) oh yeah… back to the story
I ran up to the king of the burger, pointed at his juicy, delicious, creamy, soft burger and said "Mine!."
"What?"
"Mine mine!"
"You want the burger?"
"Yes yes! Gimme gimme gimme! Ummmm... I mean what you know about a UFO?"
"Once we made a burger UFO. It was a hundred feet tall."
THEMAKEROFLIGHT: Oh god I'm so hungry.
"No. What I am talking about a government one."
"Oh you mean that! I saw one of those."
"Where where where? Tell me now I need to know, and are you going to eat all that."
"Um no, and the UFO is in the old warehouse down on western street, across from Ikea."
"Ok, but why is there a dog sniffing my foot?"
"Sorry he does that some times."
And off we went to the warehouse in the slow slow slow god so slow car. This may take a while... lets play super Mario!……………..Dam bowser!……..Yay mushroom!…….ok...that was a weird five minutes.
I was just half way there when I had to go to the can. There was a gas station so after I went I thought I would buy some haribo, but I had no money.I trie to reason with the chasier, but he said no. I shot him in the eye. So I got my haribo. I was on the tip of getting there and I had to go to the can again...I wish I hadn't had that fifty-seventh curry. So let's go back.
Ok we were nearly there again... and yet I left my haribo in the toilet, and yes I am stalling for time.
So as I went and came back and went and came back...I'm sorry I need to wait till the end of the page and well... ok back to the story. I had one more mile to go. Unfortunately a cat jumped in my car and ate my damn haribo.
Horros: That dam dam cat (starts crying)
I started to skid and the cat flew off. Nearly there now. I made it outside of the warehouse. It was very very big.
It was time to enter the scary door. As I ate the rest of my food and crackers (yum) I slowly went in. The room as filled with teddy Barneys. "What the hell?" I said slowly to myself me and Irien... wait, who the hell is Irien? I heard a large clanking sound coming close. Something with red eyes was moving around.
"I have been waiting."