A/N: Aaaah.! So long! Sorry, sorry! I've just been busy and really lazy! I'll try...I'll try! Anyways, my brain died on how to do name day, soooo...Ah, time skip! Rawr!
Disclaimer: Eh, check the first chapter.
Kingdom Hearts: Thirteen Days, Thirteen Way
Day Four: Pirate Day
"Man, I could not sleep last night at all," the youngest Organization member moaned as he wabbled into breakfast that morning. Of course, no one really paid any attention to him, because this morning, Axel and Demyx were once again up to no good. Well...okay, this one wasn't as bad as the laundy incident, the 'real' name crap, or the trip to the zoo, but-
"Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" the two sang, having linked arms and dancing on the table, sloshing beer on everyone near them. Instead of the usual black garb, the idiots were dressed in odd clothing, including a red bandana, a hook hand, and a large gold earring.
"...Did I miss a game of truth-and-dare...again?" the young blonde asked slowly, joining everyone else in a group eyebrow raise.
"If you did, so did I..." Vexen said calmly, before coughing something about a late-night manicure party with Zexion and Superior.
"Of course not! Like I would allow something like that to go on in Caste Oblivion!" Marluxia huffed, puffing out his chest to prove just how important it is.
"Y'know, I was thinking...I don't like the name 'Castle Oblivion'. It's not like we hold massacres here every weekend," Luxord pointing out, stroking his goatee thoughtfully, "We should call it-"
"Argh Me Hearties Castle!" Demyx suddenly burst out, jumping on top of Marluxia, stealing his wallet. And, while Xigbar wasn't looking, Axel had swiped his eye-patch, forcing it onto his 'friend.'
"Help! Axel's touching me!" Roxas cried, flailing his arms around wildly, smacking Superior in the face just as he entered the room, causing all the other Nobodies to fall silent.
"You just hit...Superior.." Zexion said slowly, gaping.
"Ha ha! Roxas is gonna die! Die a horrible, painful death!" Larxene screeched, laughing evily and trying to do the MC Hammer dance. And, soon following Superior, came the fragile Namine, her sketchbook in hand.
"Good morning, every-...Am I interrupting something?" she asked softly, blinking. Her crush, Roxas, was in an...interesting pose with his best friend, Axel. And Superior was unconscious on the ground. Maybe..! Maybe he walked in on a dirty scene that everyone else was enjoying and he passed out!
"O-M-G! I HAVE to draw that!" she squealed, clutching the sketchpad tighter and racing down the hall.
"Draw...what...?" Vexen questioned slowly.
"Roxas is gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiie! Diiiiiiiiie!" the only female Organization member continued screeching, dancing around the room.
"Yeah!" Demyx said suddenly, "Roxas has to walk the plank!"
"Walk the what?!" everyone besides Superior, Axel, and Demyx burst out, twitching.
"The plank...Since we don't have any wood, we'll use Marluxia, well...because I seriously think he's gay," the musician said, "And so he'll lay down half-way off of a pool or whatever full of man-eating sharks! Then Roxas has to walk across Marluxia and jump in!"
"We don't have man-eating sharks!" Vexen complained.
"Or a pool!"
"Excuse, excuses!" Axel sighed, before shaking his head, "Fine..! Losers!! Axel huffed out, Roxas still stuck to him.
"So...Now what...?" Zexion asked, tilting his head innocently.
"SCRUB THE POOP DECK!" Demyx screeched, slapping Zexion, "And don't go cryin', baby!"
---
A sigh escaped the young girl's lips, and she clutched the sketchbook lovingly. Today was the best she had had ever since Demyx 'accidently' threw her in with the tigers. Now, she had yet another masterpiece of her beloved!
"Are you drawing gay stuff again, Namine?" Larxene asked, glancing over the fragile girl's shoulder, before sighing, "No, no! Wrong! Roxas' head should be back more, and his face should be something of painful pleasure."
"Are you serious?! But...I tried so hard!" Namine wailed, before shaking her head, "And now I have no more inspiritation to draw dirty pictures!"
"NAAAAAAMINE!" Axel screamed, bursting into the room with an unconcious Roxas, "I..I need you to draw something for me!"
"What is it...?" Namine asked innocently. Larxene just groaned and turned away.
---
"Xaldin...?" Xigbar whispered, almost yelping as something dug deeper into his back.
What, fag?" the other asked. Xigbar pouted. How mean! And he almost considered the creepy man a cuddle buddy!
"I don't think this is a good idea...I'm pretty sure he'll find us..." he whispered back.
"CAUGHT YOU!" Demyx beamed, throwing the closet door open, "My pirate senses found you!"
"AHHHH!!! SOMEBODY KILL US NOW!" they cried, gnawing at their own arms.
---
"Ugh...Where...am I...?" Roxas groaned softly, his eyes softly opening. He blinked after a moment, sitting up. He was in Namine's room. Well, at least he thought he was. Marluxia was the worst interior designer. Ever.
"Good afternoon, Roxas!" Axel grinned, crawling on top of Namine's gigantic crystal ball, licking it occasionally. This made Roxas twitch.
"What am I...?"
"Silly! We're in Namine's room! And you're...A PIRATE!" Axel squealed, licking the crystal ball again.
"W-what is that thing made out of...?" Roxas asked, before blinking, "And I'm not your fu-"
"NO SAILOR MOUTH!" Axel shouted, throwing his chakrams, "RAWR!"
"A-axel...?" Namine asked, peeking her head inside, "I...I got what you wanted..."
---
"Z-Zexion...it's only us now..." Marluxia breathed, eyes darting around the room nervously, "Everyone else...They've...they've...OH ZEXY! SAVE ME!!"
"Shut up!" Zexion growled, "Saix is right over there!" The scarred man blinked, before waving happily at the two of them. This only made Marluxia twitch more.
"NO! No!! Haven't you heard the rumors?!"
"What rumors?" Zexion and Saix chimmed at the same time.
"That...SAIX IS GAY FOR SUPERIOR!" the pansy declared, twirling. There was a silence.
"Are you stupid? Saix isn't-" Zexion started, before something grabbed him. Marluxia twisted around, and his eyes grew to the size of Namine's crystal ball. Saix was there, in his 'beserk' mode, tearing apart Zexion limb from limb. Marluxia whimpered, and inched towards the door.
"Deeeemyx...You could come any time...Any time is fine with me.." he said softly.
---
"It's...it's..." Axel said, tears coming to his eyes as he looked at the glorious sight in front of him.
"Stupid," Larxene and Roxas sighed, shaking their heads.
"Silence! Roxas, you're the second mate, and Larxene...You're the...the STOWAWAY! Because every good pirate ship has a stowaway!"
"What about me?" Namine asked hopefully, her eyes twinkling.
"Huh...? Who are you again?" Axel asked.
"Axel! Are you ready to take off?" Demyx shouted, rushing outside. Axel nodded proudly, grinning.
"Then let's get going!!!!" the musician cried, grabbing Namine and Larxene and dragging them onto the ship that Namine had dreamt up. Axel and Roxas just stood there, wondering why Demyx was in such a hurry. Suddenly, a giant lizard thing burst through the roof of Castle Oblivion, rawring and biting things.
"Oh my god!!!" Roxas gasped, "It's Godzilla!!"
"Ooooor Saix.." Demyx muttered.
Axel grabbed Roxas, and dragged him onto the boat. And, before anything else could be said, the ship slowly sailed away. The five looked as their precious-well, hated castle was destroyed, saluting to the wonde-creepy men they had lost.
"You will be missed," Demyx sniffed, "Now...ROXAS HAS TO WALK THE PLANK!!"
---
"Ugh...Man, what happened..?" Superior moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. He frowned, noticing something was different. it was chillier than usual. He looked up, and twitched, seeing the roof destroyed.
"AXEL! DEMYX!" he bellowed, jumping to his feet, "When I get ahold of you two-!!"
Suddenly, the door, or what remained of it, opened, and Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Marluxia, and Luxord all came out, sobbing. They immediately clung to the older Nobody, crying their non-existant hearts out.
"It was soooo scary!" Vexen wailed.
"Demyx tried to dress us up as pirates!" Xaldin whimpered.
"Then I suggested Saix was gay for you!" Marluxia sobbed.
"And then Saix went beserk!" Lexaeus pouted.
"And destroyed Castle Oblivion!" Luxord whinned.
"And...? What about Axel and Demyx?" Superior asked, raising a bushy eyebrow.
"They sailed away on a pirate ship!" all of them cried. Superior sighed, and fell back. It would take the rest of the day to fix this mess. But, it was all in a day's work with Demyx and Axel as your minions.
---
"So where are we now, genius?" Larxene scoffed, raising an eyebrow as she looked around. This place was disgusting.
"Uuh...Pirateland?" Demyx suggested, shrugging.
"Great! We're lost, hungry, and I'm stuck with you idiots!" Roxas growled, throwing up his hands in frustration.
"Y-you think I'm an idiot...?" Namine sniffled, before wailing and running into the captain's quarters, which Larxene, Namine, and Roxas had taken over. Demyx and Axel slept on the poop deck. Which was good, because it helped them investigate why they found no poop on the poop deck.
"Look! Natives! They'll surely help us!" Axel cried, grinning from ear to ear.
"Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Welcome!" a giant purple dinosaur giggled, "Welcome! I'm Barney!"
All of them screamed.
A/N: -Sigh- There it is!