Rating: R

Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst, some Humor, Sap

Warnings: Slash, Het, mention of sex, some blood, swearing, incest (they're cats, there's nothing unnatural about it)

Pairings: Misto/Munku, Tugger/Bomba, mention of Munku/Dem, some Cass/Munku, past Bomba/Munku,

Timeline: two weeks from the Jellicle ball in the movie.

Description: Love cannot exist for a magical cat; in fact, it's fatal if it does.

Disclaimer: I do not own CATS, or any portions thereof. None of the following events took place in the original CATS plotline, and I do not claim that they do.

Songs to Read With: (not mandatory) Take on Me (Ah-Ha), If You Could See What I See (Geoff Moore and the Distance), I Must Be Dreaming (Frou-Frou)

Between Death and Love

Chapter Seven

By Edenrising

(recap from chapter six)

'Oh…My…'

One week later, the sun shone in pleasant warmth upon the Jellicle cats, who were gathered in the general area of the main square where the yearly Ball was held. Many of the older cats were drowsing on various cars and tires, enjoying the warmth provided, while the younger toms and queens did various chores with levels of enthusiasm. The most notable absence was that of the kittens, who were off with the Tugger collecting flowers for Bombalurina, (in her 5th week of pregnancy), who was quietly waiting for Tugger on the hood of an old red convertible.

Although few, besides Jelly and Jenny, had noticed the absence of the two toms in the tribe, Bomba had taken Mistoffelees' disappearance with worry. Quietly she observed the Junkyard, hoping to spot the familiar flash of black fur, but saw nothing. She had asked Jenny if she had seen the magician, but the older queen had been strange and giggled, only telling Bomba not to worry. Then when the red queen decided to go out and find the small tom herself, Demeter had become a problem, being adamant about her staying and not budging in her decision.

Then two days after not seeing Mistoffelees, Demeter's wining about missing Munkustrap (even though she really didn't) got her thinking, she also had been missing the presence of the silver protector around the tribe as well. Which meant one of three things; Mistoffelees and Munkustrap were on a visit to one of the other cat clans as diplomats for Deuteronomy; Munkustrap was taking care of Mistoffelees because he had hurt himself again; or they were both lying dead in an alley somewhere.

Sniffing slightly, the red queen decided that all of those answers seemed unsatisfactory somehow. Not that they weren't good reasons, but they weren't the right reasons- she just knew it (call it queen's intuition). Heaving herself to her four paws, the slightly larger-than-normal queen slowly lumbered off of the car, and made her way to Mistoffelees' den. She went unnoticed by the other cats who were either too drowsy or too busy to care, and walked with little interference, except for that of Cassandra who passed by in the worst of moods.

Cassandra was another problem in Bomba's mind. The Burmese had been in a stormy mood ever since Munkustrap's absence had been noted, apparently, the tabby had given all the traditional courting signs to her and never delivered on the expected/required day. Cassie had taken this harshly, like she had been cheated, and wouldn't speak unless it was to snap at somebody. Exotica got the brunt of the attacks though, since they shared the same owners and thus the same house and was wisely avoiding the other queen.

Luckily, Cassie seemed to not acknowledge Bomba's presence, and allowed the red queen to go on her way. Bomba felt very fortunate, she and Cass had never got along due to that they had both once been mates of Munkustrap, and to be quite honest the other queen tended to scare her. Lately the Burmese had begun to watch Bombalurina with envying eyes, insulting her with scathing remarks regarding her pregnancy and insinuating that the children were not of only one tom. Bomba sniffed at the memory.

Tugger had been holding her when Cass had said those things, he had stiffened at the idea that the children weren't only his and Bomba could feel the remark cutting into her mate- it had bothered him; more than he'd ever tell her.

Tugger would be a good father, she knew, he really liked kids, even though he flirted with a lot of them, he cared immensely about all of the young queens in a platonic way (only Bast knew Tugger's wrath if anyone even so much touched a hair on one of his kittens). Bomba allowed herself a satisfied smile as the magician's pipe came into view, she loved him, and she knew that she would gladly bear the Rum Tum Tugger many kittens as his mate in the future. They would be their kittens, a result of their love… even when carrying Jemima (although she loved her as well) Bomba had never felt so satisfied, she was a happy queen.

Then, the shadow of the pipe fell over, and Bomba remembered why she was here. Much like her unborn kittens, Misto was more important to her than her own life; his mother had moved away with her family and she had taken over the position of mother to him. 'However', she smirked, 'That didn't quite go as planned.' She'd ended up more of an older sister instead, he was too smart for the young queen, too sweet and cunning…. and she liked to hit him in the back of the head more than she'd like to admit.

Peering into the darkness of the pipe, she looked around.

She didn't like what she saw.

The place hardly smelled of Mistoffelees at all, no whiff of peppermint or dirt, and there were definitely no signs of life from within the last few days. The pillows he had conjured up for reading were collecting dust and mold, because no one had aired them out for at least a week and there was no sign of someone sleeping in the covers near the back. Bomba came to a conclusion that stilled her heart; Mistoffelees had been missing for over a week. And the worst part was… she'd taken this long to look for him. Why hadn't anyone else looked for him? He had friends, his sister and herself.

But then, she knew why. Mistoffelees had always gone out of his way to not become too close to people. She recalled when he'd gotten stuck in a barrel at a young age; he'd refused help from anyone, screaming at anybody who tried to help him until he fell unconscious from exhaustion and Bomba had to pull him out herself and carry him home. Then Bomba thought really hard about the incident, there was something strange… then it occurred to her, no toms had ever attempted to help Mistoffelees... Ever.

The toms had always regarded Misto as queenish and weird, but lately, they'd begun inviting him to parties and such. Why? Maybe he and Munkustrap had become good friends during the time he was injured, and the other toms had befriended him as a result. With a determined look on her face, Bomba realized she had a hunch as to where her little black companion might be, besides, her intuition was telling her that Misto was there. And you know what they say about women's intuition;

Never get in the way.

Then, with a swish of her tail and a hand resting on her belly, the beautiful red queen lumbered in the direction of her old mate's den. Mistoffelees was with Munkustrap, she just knew it.

Mistoffelees stared out onto the Junkyard from the entrance of Munkustrap's den; he wrapped his arms around his waist and savored the light hitting his face. It was late day, the sun hot and casting dull light into the freezer room where he and the other tabby had occupied for over a week. Breathing in the smells of autumn, the magician turned to spare a glance at his mate, who was sleeping still and slowly climbed out of the freezer.

Mistoffelees hit the ground with wobbly legs; he hadn't used them much for the time he'd been in Munkustrap's company. The magician was relieved to finally leave the stank air of the den and reveled in the free air around him. He stretched and yawned, shaking out all the accumulated dust from the days inside from his fur. The black cat cautiously rubbed the nape of his neck with one hand and rolled his shoulders back- his spine had a crick in it. Then, with some tenderness he attempted a step forwards, and was rewarded with a sharp sting that spread from his groin and up his spine. Mistoffelees stifled a groan from the pain, it wasn't so bad, but with the amount of… physical activity… he and Munkustrap had been doing, pain was a companion with pleasure.

Deciding to stop moving, Mistoffelees sat down carefully; he lied back and placed his arms behind his head, smelling the cool burnt of autumn. Listening, he heard the voices of the kittens in the Jellicle clearing and smiled, shifting a bit. He was happy to be outside again, and now that the week of courting was over, he could come and go as he pleased. Munkustrap had proved to be honorable and loving, and the magician felt whole in his joy at being connected with his desired finally.

Finally, his life was going his way; he was in love and was loved. Munkustrap had never said as much, but the actions were there. Chuckling and rolling over, the sun heating his back, Mistoffelees mused at the things he had learned about the silver tabby. He had found that, despite to contrary belief, Munkustrap spoke more with his actions than his words. Sure, he spoke as much as any cat, but his emotions were displayed through the way he touched you, moved and did tasks. Mistoffelees was very much enjoying learning how to read Munkustrap, and hoped that one day he'd be able to get the other to say what he felt.

Mistoffelees giggled again, clamping paws over his mouth, the giggles erupted in an alarming rate and the magician was worried someone might hear him. He was just so happy, it was unbelievable, his heart felt as though it had been washed of all its ailments and was clean and new, ready for a life of luxury with Munkustrap. He was relieved when, very slowly, the giggles evened out allowing him to breathe again. He was riding on a high, he knew, but he didn't want to think about the impending crash.

As the small black tom lay on his front, ignorantly dozing in the autumn sun, Munkustrap was making his way out of the freezer. Pausing at the edge of the freezer, the tabby allowed himself a gaze at the magician, his magician; he couldn't help the thought as it crossed his mind. Munkustrap tilted his head, watched the back of Mistoffelees rise and fall with each breath, and was content. His mate was everything he could hope for; smart, witty, loving, clever and very strong. He had no doubts he had made a good choice.

'At least, for now.'

Thoughts that hadn't occurred to him on the first impulsive night assaulted his mind.

This wouldn't last forever; it was a mating that would probably last a lengthy amount of time, perhaps three to four weeks, but that was all. He knew Mistoffelees was attached to him, but it was a fleeting affliction as most first loves were. Of course, if he had a choice in the matter, Munkustrap would stay with the magician for much longer, but he didn't. He was the protector, the heir to Deuteronomy's hierarchy, and the oldest child of the leader; he had a duty to the tribe and to himself. He needed a queen, he needed a male heir, and he needed a mate that would be acceptable to the rest of London's cat tribes during diplomatic meetings.

He wasn't being totally careless to Mistoffelees' feelings; it was more that he was worried for his mate's physical well-being in the future. A leader with a male mate, for any length of time, was susceptible to attacks from other disapproving tribes. Munkustrap knew the Jellicle tribe was elite (only the best belonged), but it was hardly large or very powerful. Also, they had prime location; kittens were needed along with strong defenses to protect the tribe from attacks- much like the one on Pouncival.

His eyes softened when Mistoffelees stretched leisurely, he couldn't let this wonderful creature fall to harm. Soon, word would get out, and the magician would be targeted because he was male and obviously special to be chosen by the next-in-line. And Munkustrap knew that if the small tom was hurt or killed, he would be broken for a long time and the tribe would become weak again. 'But for a while at least, he can be mine.' Munkustrap sighed softly, and jumped down beside the magician.

Mistoffelees was startled when the tabby landed next to him and a rose to his feet with a smile on his face when he realized who the presence belonged to. He leaned over to Munkustrap and gave him a quick hug, making sure to still act tom-ish in as many ways as possible, he didn't want to become a queenish-tom… except when he had tea with Jenny and Jelly. He and the other tom stared at each other for a while, before Munkustrap pulled him close, rubbing one hand up and down the back of the magician's neck while the other rested on the small of Mistoffelees' back.

"Good morning," Mistoffelees breathed through a smile when the embrace ended.

"Morning," Munkustrap answered, still staring at the other.

Mistoffelees continues, "So, what are you going to do today?"

"I was just about to check up on the sentries and ask around about any news," Munkustrap answered, "You?"

"Oh," Mistoffelees was a bit disappointed; he wouldn't see Munkustrap at all today, "I was going to visit all of the others, and then fix the fences."

"Okay," Munkustrap caressed the other's cheek, "Then, I'll see you tonight, sweets." And then he swiftly kissed the other tom, leaving the magician speechless, and bounded away into the Junkyard. Mistoffelees was left staring after his mate, pressing a hand to his mouth in surprise, and a smile stretching his cheeks.

"What was that?" came a sultry voice from his right.

Mistoffelees whirled towards the hidden voice, seeing that it was Bomba, he relaxed a bit. He arched an eyebrow, scratching a hip in fake ignorance, smirking in a way that clearly stated his feelings on the matter. But meeting the red queen's eyes, he found himself reddening at her amused and interested expression. Placing a hand on her belly in a practiced gesture, she stepped forwards and gave Mistoffelees a hard stare.

"What was what?" came the response from the magician who met the stare of the older cat calmly, while inside his stomach churned in something near anticipation.

Bomba chuckled, tapping the magician on the nose with one paw, and then ruffling the fur between his ears. "Sweet-cheeks, you know what." When Mistoffelees didn't budge, she decided that the direct approach was the best. Then, in a startling motion, she quickly grabbed Misto's paws in hers and squealed in a near-scream, "What was Munkustrap's tongue doing down your throat!"

Mistoffelees covered his face in embarrassment, "Well… I… erm. P-please keep it down Bomba!"

Bomba swiftly took the tom in her arms, hugging him. "Oh, all right. If that's the way you want it, but if you ask me you're being pretty silly about it." She slugged her arm over Misto's shoulders in a practiced motion, winking at him, "After all, it's nothing to be ashamed about. Munkustrap's a catch to be sure, I should know, and he's very good in the sa-"

"Bomba!"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop embarrassing you. But honestly, what's the fuss about?" she turned to face him, serious, "It's not like it's unheard of, it's actually an ancient tradition in some cat cultures to mate with someone of the same gender. Bast knows that the Jellicle tribe is no exception, Deuteronomy held Gus as his lover for a time." She saw Mistoffelees give her a look, "When they were young! Jeeze… And I can't wait to see how Cassie reacts when she realizes where Munkustrap has been the last week. She's going to be absolutely insane with jealousy."

"Yeah…" came the sigh. Mistoffelees felt a jolt run through him, Cassandra would be jealous. What if she did something rash… something heartbreaking?

Bombalurina's brows furrowed when Mistoffelees broke his gaze with her to stare blindly at the ground. "Hey, Mist? Are you okay? 'Cause you were just about out-glowing the sun a few minutes ago. Is it about Cass? You don't need to worry; she won't do anything vicious, as long as you don't flaunt it."

'How can't I flaunt it?' he added silently, 'I have to touch him at least four times a day.'

"Oh… I know what you're upset about." She pitied knowingly. Then she lowered her voice just enough to be private, lifted the tom's chin with a finger so he met her gaze and gave a reassuring smile, "It was your first time, wasn't it?"

Mistoffelees nodded, slightly. Not quite sure what she was getting at.

Drawing away, the queen smirked devishly, "Nothing to be worried about! Just because you slept with a tom first doesn't mean that the queen's won't want you… Spending some time in the company of Deuteronomy's eldest is something to be proud of!" she concluded with exuberance, giving a hop. "You'll have other lovers, chances to have kittens, now that you're not a virgin anymore girls will practically hang off you."

'But there won't be any others…' Mistoffelees felt tears fill his eyes, his high was crashing. He needed to tell someone… Bomba was only trying to be sisterly in her reassurances and teasing, but she was only making him upset. He would tell Bomba, he could trust her.

"Bomba, stop." He held out a hand, she took it hesitantly. "I need to tell you something-" at her look, he added "It's important; I need to discuss it in private." And with that he led her to his old pipe, where they could at least have some privacy.

The magician knew he should have laughed off Bomba's misinterpretation of his and Munkustrap's relationship, but it had struck a chord within him, unsettling the assurances he had built up in the previous week. He couldn't help it, he should have stayed silent, but his heart was screaming at him to tell somebody. He couldn't take the emotional strain alone anymore, not when it acted like a drug, pulling his emotions up and down- in an act that he considered very much like the kneading of dough. Telling another about his predicament would lessen the load; help him through the hardships- whether it was his death or the secrets he kept. Perhaps he was being selfish, but…

He lifted his head when the pipe came within sight, and swallowed, the need was so great. He needed relief; he needed a comfort, a shoulder to cry on, anything.

"In here," he pulled her towards the back of his den. He suppressed a shudder, the space seemed cold and dank now; it was no longer connected to him but was as alien as someone he'd never met. "Sit where you want, do you want something to drink?" he asked, rummaging through a box in the back, where he kept some spare tea leaves. He was thirsty, even if she wasn't, besides he was British- it would be weird if he didn't want tea.

"Nah, I'm fine." Bomba was seated on a red cushion, shifting in anxiety. Mistoffelees never talked about his problems, he just didn't, not since he came into his tom hood. Something was wrong, call sisterly intuition, something was very, very wrong. She was almost afraid to ask, "What's wrong Misto?" the small tom stiffened, "What's got you so worked up? It can't be that bad can it?"

The magician turned to her, shocking her with the tears that covered his eyes, he sat across from her, the tea he was making forgotten on the floor. Wiping his eyes and sniffling, he looked her in the eye, "Yes it can." His voice was a whisper, and in his eyes was a calm acceptance of what he was about to do.

'I'm weak Bomba,' he thought, 'But I can't help it… No one of my kind can.'

The red queen felt her instinct rise, and suddenly, she was scared; more scared than she'd ever been in her life.

"Misto… Misto, what's wrong? You're scaring me." She placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him, just so he'd stop looking at her like that.

"I'm… I'm dying, Bomba."

There was a silence after that.