the memories of the past day flooded around his mind. They were watery, almost invisible. The a voice, hoarse and angry, cut through the silence he was in. The memories became vivid again, attacking him one at a time, smashing their way back into him. Remus screamed and pushed himself up, his head throbbing painfully. He stopped his yelling and took notice to where he was. The hospital wing.

Sirius had been arguing with Madame Pomfrey about leaving. They both stopped looked at Remus as he screamed. Sirius hurried to his side. "Remy... Are you okay?"

Remus looked at him, suddenly remembering exactly why he was here. "Yeah...I'm just peachy." he answered with a dull voice.

Padfoot bowed his head. "I need to explain some things to you. If I don't you'll hate me forever... and hell... you might still hate me after the story."

"Yeah...I might." he answered. He immediately wished he hadn't said that because it made his heart sink. He never wanted a day without the boy in front of him. He wanted him forever.

A sharp pain plagued Sirius' gut as his boyfriend said that. His eyes watered. "Well.. you see.. I... Lily and I had a thing... And... Then I figured out James liked her... so... well lemme begin at the beginning..."

flashback

Everyone had been looking for Sirius all evening. It was the first day of their 5th year. Nobody had seen him on the train and nobody saw him at the feast. James looked at the ground worried. "I wonder what could've happened to him?"

Remus patted his friend on the back, but his face also had a look of concern. "Come on James. This is Sirius. Knowing him, he's probably just planning a dramatic entrance."

James shrugged and still looked worried. "I have a feeling that isn't the case this time, Remus."

Lily, who had joined the unrevealing search, wandered one of the upper hallways. She was about to turn down another hallway, when she heard whimpering. She turned to the door it was coming from, and immediately lost interest. "Myrtle.." she hissed. She was going to turn again, but she noticed something about the crying. It was manly. She pushed open the bathroom door and looked inside.

Sirius was sitting in a corner. His clothes were all grimy and his face was red and blotchy. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and had his head resting on them. Padfoot's whole body seemed to shake with sobs.

Lily walked across the bathroom and knelt beside him. "Siri. What's wrong?" she asked, her voice was sweet and comforting. She put her arms around him and held him close.

He didn't even seem to register anything she said. He just threw his arms around her and clenched onto her. Sobbing uncontrollably Sirius mumbled something and scooted closer to her. He buried his face in her chest.

She hugged him tightly and rubbed his back. "There, there. Tell me what's wrong Sirius." she whispered, pulling him off gently so that she could look at him.

He had a black eye and his lip and nose were bleeding. He looked into her face and let out another sob.

Lily gasped at the sight. "Oh...my...Sirius. What happened to you, love?" she asked, reaching up to pet his cheek gently.

"M-my f-fami-ly..." He mumbled and moved his head back to rest on her chest.

"Oh..." she whispered. She stroked his back tenderly. "It's ok. Don't cry." she told him kindly.

Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist and stopped sobbing though silent tears escaped.

"Shhh...Calm down love..." she cooed, snuggling him tightly. "It's ok..."

He looked a complete mess. His clothes were ripped and his hair was all knotted and looked like it hadn't been washed in days.

Lily pulled away and smiled at him. "Here let's get you cleaned up. You can shower in here, and while you do, I'll fix your clothes. Okay?"

He didn't move. Sirius just seemed to droop when she let go of him, not being held up by anything.

She cocked her head in confusion. She reached out again, and put her hand on his stained cheek. "Sirius..? You in there?"

He didn't react.

Lily sighed. She leaned in and kissed his forehead lightly. She then rested her head on his. "C'mon love. Talk to me...say anything. Let me know that you're ok."

A trickle of blood came from his lip, but other than that there was no movement.

Lily gave a look of panic. "Sirius?!" she half screamed, shaking his shoulder. "D-don't do this to me. Say something!" Tears started to fall from her own eyes. Her heart pounded and her head rushed. "Please..."

He blinked and looked at her. "I don't think it's possible for me to move, Lily." Pads said putting as much strength as he could muster in his voice to try and keep her from crying.

She looked at him, her tears slowing down. "Th-then I'll help you." she insisted, pulling him up. She held on to waist and began to tug him towards the showers.

He nodded weakly and grimaced as she pulled him up. A little dog-like whimper escaped his throat.

She placed him next to one of the showers. For a moment she hesitated, then, blushing, she reached out and unbuttoned his shirt.

Sirius leaned against the wall, his legs had only barely enough strength to keep him from falling. His head was tilted to one side and he watch Lily's elegant fingers move over the buttons.

She pulled off his shirt and placed it on the floor beside her. She was about to reach for his belt, but stopped halfway there. "I.. Is...Is this okay with you Sirius?"

He nodded. "I'm too weak to be turned on by it." He smiled slightly.

She matched his smile, then returned to undressing him. When she had finished she reached into the shower and pulled the water knobs. Hot water poured out, making the air thick and moist. Lily pulled the boy into the stream of water, getting herself wet in the process. "Um...can you handle it from here?" she asked, her voice slightly trembling.

He reached over for the bar of soap and it slipped from his grasp. "Uh..."

Lily picked it up for him. "I guess that's a no" she said, a blush crossing her elegant face. She ran the soap around his body, silently cursing in her head for the thoughts that it brought her.

Sirius liked the way the soap felt caressing his skin. He felt himself grow hard at her touch. Which made his loins even more noticeable, if that was possible.

Lily, without thinking, yelped slightly. She dropped the soap. "Oh god..." she whispered, as she knelt down to recapture it. When she came face-level with his member, she lost all clear thought. Her eyes hazed over with lust and her tongue slipped out, licking the tip lightly. She caught herself, yelped again, and stood back up. "Um...I think we're done with the soap for now."

Sirius moaned and felt a bit of strength come back to him from testosterone rushing to his brain. A dark crimson covered his face at the sound he made. "Er... yeah..."

Lily placed the soap aside and grabbed a shampoo bottle. After pouring some in her hand, she lathered it through his hair. Because of the height difference, she had to press herself against him in order to reach. She swallowed nervously.

Sirius grimaced as she pressed herself against him. His face got even redder. His erection was pressed against her and he bucked slightly at the contact.

She moaned when he moved, immediately getting much redder as she did so. She pulled them both back, so that the water could wash the soap from his hair. When she did that, she moved his member even closer to her inner thighs. She moaned again and arched slightly.

Sirius' mouth opened and he gasped. His gray eyes had a look of pleasure in them. "Lily..." He breathed in his smooth, deep British accent. He wrapped his arms around her waist gently.

She trembled under his touch. Her heart beat against his and she moaned again. "Sirius..." she whimpered. Her hands reached behind her and she pulled one of the water tabs. Cold water shot them both. "I-I'm sorry Siri. But it was going...to fast for me."

He jolted at the cold water. "Uh... Sorry, Lily."

"Don't be..." she said smiling. Leaning in slowly, she kissed him. Then she pulled away and stepped out of the shower. He robes were soaked. "Tsk, tsk." She pulled her wand from her pocket and flicked it over herself. Her robes dried quickly. She then pointed it at Sirius's clothes, and mumbled. "Reparo." he rips in his clothed melded back together.

Entranced, he watched her every move. He sat down on a small bench and grunted slightly as he did. Starting to lean down for his boxers, he suddenly stopped and grimaced.

Lily noticed this and gave a concerned look. "Siri...what is it?"

"I think my ribs are broken." Just then Myrtle came by and sat next to Sirius. She leaned over and looked at his erection. "I've never seen one of those before." She said in her airy, high-pitched voice and giggled.

Lily glared at Myrtle. "And you'll never get on either." she hissed and walked over to Sirius. "Tell me when it hurts." she said, prodding parts of his chest.

When she got to about mid-torso he grimaced and murmured, "There it is..."

Lily put her wand to his chest and mumbled something under her breath. A long, wispy, blue wave seeped from her wand and absorbed into his body. It soothed the pain and replaced the bone. Lily smiled, "I learned that from Madame Pomfrey when one of my friends got kicked by a gargoyle."

"Oh... yeah. I remember when that happened." Sirius looked over at Myrtle who was still staring at him. "Take a picture it lasts longer."

Lily gave Myrtle another glare. "Don't you have a toilet to be weeping in?"

She moaned and floated away quickly.

Lily handed Sirius then rest of his clothes. "Come on now, everybody's been looking for you."

"I need to get dressed first..." He put his clothes on slowly and took a lot of effort to do so.

Lily nodded. After he dressed she helped him up. "To the common room?" He nodded. They walked the long way to the common room. When they reached the portrait, Lily stated the password. "Lemonsnappers." The painting swung open and she pulled Sirius through the hole.

James jumped up and ran over to them. "You found him!" He looked at his black eye. "What happened?"

Remus followed James, his face expressing curiosity and concern. "Yeah, did Lily beat you up?"

Lily gave Remus a dry look. "I would never do that!"

"My father had a field day with his fists." Sirius said bluntly and plopped down on the couch with a grimace.

Remus gasped. "Oh...wow. Are you okay, mate?"

"Yeah... I'll be fine." He mumbled.

Lily patted his head. "Of coarse you will..."

"Well, I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed." He got up with another grimace and headed toward the stairs.

Lily stared after him, and she smiled softly to herself. "Night Siri..." she called.

"G'night, Lil." He said and beamed back at her.

Remus yawned and followed Sirius up the staircase. "I'm going to follow Sirius' example and hit the sack."

Sirius laid in bed and curled up in a ball. He knew he wouldn't sleep. He'd have nightmares if he did, and all he wanted to do was lay there and sob. He turned over in the bed and cried silently.

James poked his head through the curtains on Sirius' bed. "Hey. Don't flood the dorm, we need it."

"Shut up and go away, Potter." Sirius snapped into his pillow.

James frowned. "Hey...calm down. I was only joking, mate." he said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I knew Lily'd find you. She so amazing sometimes..."

"Yeah she is." He mumbled.

James smiled, his eyes became slightly lost. "I..I really like her. She never ceases to amaze me."

Sirius looked up. "You like her, mate?"

James made his eyes meet his friend's. "Yeah...a lot. I think, actually, I love her..."

"L-love her?" His eyebrows furrowed.

James nodded, resting his head next to Sirius'. "Yeah. I told Remmy, he just shrugged and said 'good luck.'"

"Well... I... Yeah... You want me to hook you up?" He asked. Sirius had a pained look on his face, but James was too starry eyed to notice.

James smiled at his friend. "You-you'd really do that for me, mate?"

"Of course. You're my best friend." He had a forced grin on his face.

"Thanks Sirius!" he said, smiling madly.

"Now go to sleep." He said and turned over.

James returned to his bed.

end flashback

Remus stared at the boy before him, tears running down his cheeks. His eyes looked angry, but sorry at the same time. "Sirius..."

"And that's the story behind me and Lily. She cared so much... Did so much for me... We've been really close ever since. I love you, Rem. I love you so much. I realized as I was holding you in my arms outside today that I love you more than her. I love you more than anything or anybody on this earth, Remus. I don't know how to show you... how do prove it... I'm not that good with words, but I know how I feel."

Remus took his hand and grabbed Sirius' chin lightly. He pulled their faces together and kissed him gently. "I love you too." he whispered.

Sirius' eyes watered up again. "I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise. I've known it for a long time... As soon as I gave up Lily I began to discover my feelings."

"Shhh.." he whispered, running his fingers through the dog's hair. "Don't linger on it, love."

Madame Pomfrey let out a sigh. She'd been watching them and looked perfectly in awe. "So cute..."

Remus pulled himself off the bed. "Let's go." he said, standing up. His legs strained beneath him, still not rested, and he began to fall forward.

Sirius caught him and picked him up off his feet. "You need a ride?" He grinned and kissed his cheek lightly.

"Y-yes." he mumbled in reply, his face turning slightly pink.

Sirius carried him up to Gryffindor tower and into the boys dorm. He laid him down on the bed. "You are quite light, my love." Sirius smiled and kissed Remus' mouth tenderly.

Remus smiled into the kiss. When Sirius pulled back, he answered, "I suppose that's what I get for being sick all the time."

"Then I can always take care of you." He took off his shirt and pants and crawled in bed beside Remus. Sirius wrapped his muscular arms around the werewolf, and snuggled up close to him.

"I love you." Remus whispered contently, relaxing in his arms. It was so warm.

"I love you too." Sirius fell asleep and dreamed of a little cottage in the country with Remus.