Author's Note: Thanks for all the wonderful encouraging reviews! For those of you who requested it, you get a little bit of Logan in this one, but probably not much on the next one or two. That's going to change soon, though.

Chapter 3 – Lost Messages

The girls followed Emily into the dress shop and a young woman rapidly approached them.

"Well hello, ladies. I hope you are having a great day."

"We most certainly are, Beth. Thank you for asking." answered Emily.

"Caroline is in the back waiting for you. Let me take you." They walked into a large private show room. Rory's phone started ringing then. She took it out of her purse and read the display. Logan. She opened it and closed it, dropping the call.

"Emily, how wonderful to see you again. Come, sit and have some tea." Lorelai and Rory took a seat across from Emily and Caroline. "Emily, you, as always, look wonderful. You always have such beautiful coloring. I've never known you to not look youthful." She served each of them a cup of tea. Rory brought hers up to her lips but the smell stopped her.

"Oh, thank you Caroline. You are always so kind in your compliments. So how are our dresses coming along? Because let me tell you, we are excited to see them!"

Rory's stomach was slowly beginning to do little flips. She felt her mouth start to water a little. She took a few deep breaths trying to control herself.

"Oh, they are absolutely gorgeous! You will be making such a beautiful mother of the bride that Richard is going to want to marry you for a third time! But let me tell you about Lorelai's dress! My dear, you are going to absolutely look divine! With those shoulders and that neck of yours! You should have been a princess. Just bear in mind when you try it on that it's still a work in progress."

"Oh, I will. I can't wait to see how it's turning out."

"You are going to make the most gorgeous bride Star's Hollow has ever seen, isn't she Caroline?"

"Of course she is. And Rory's dress is going to fit her complexion beautifully. She has such a pretty figure, and that face of an angel… Rory dear, are you alright?"

"Ah, yeah…"

"I've never seen anyone change shades that quickly. Maybe she just needs some air. Lorelai, give her some air," ordered Emily.

"And where am I supposed to get it from? The oxygen tank I carry around in my purse?"

"I'm okay, I'm okay. It just got really hot all of a sudden."

"I'll have Beth bring you a cool glass of water, would that help?" offered Caroline.

"Thank you."

Lorelai waited until Caroline walked out before saying anything.

"What's going on, kid? You still under the weather?"

"She's been under the weather?" asked Emily alarmed. "Have you been to the doctor? I'm going to make an appointment for you."

"No, I'm fine, really. I just felt really hot all of a sudden. I'm fine."

"You're looking pale now." Noted Emily. "Let me call my doctor." She pulled her purse into her lap.

"No Grandma, seriously. It's not necessary…"

"She's been overstressing herself at the paper, that's what's going on,' complained Lorelai. "Did you take care of that thing I told you to take care of?"

"Even if it's stress, you should see a doctor." She saw Emily pull her cell phone out.

"Grandma, no. I've already been to the doctor!"

"When did you go to the doctor? Why did you go to the doctor?" asked Lorelai.

What had she gotten herself into? She let out a long sigh before answering them. "Right after the coup d'état…"

"What coup d'état?" asked Emily.

"They sent me home from the paper. Said they noticed I was overworking myself…"

"See, I told you she was overworking herself. Didn't I tell you, you were overworking yourself?"

She ignored the comment and continued. "Anyway, they gave me a week's vacation. I'm back on this Monday."

"But what about the doctor?" asked Emily.

"What about the doctor?"

"Didn't you say you already went to the doctor?"

"Oh, that… Well, I went to the doctor," she stated simply.

"Ah, yeah, we get that part hon. What did the nice doctor say?"

Caroline walked back in the room with Rory's glass of water. "Here you are, dear. Sorry I took so long to get back. What do you girls say we go on and try your dresses?"

"Oh, me first!" yelled Lorelai.

"Well come on in and step into the dressing room. Monique and I will help you into it, since it's a little tricky."

Emily eyed Rory from across. She noticed her color begin to rise again to her face, only to disappear a moment later. Rory simply tried to look away.

"You know, I think if I stepped into the ladies room for a second, maybe splash some water over my face. That should make me feel better." She got up slowly, making sure the movement didn't make her any more sick than she was already feeling. She could feel her grandmother's eyes follow her. She made sure she locked the door behind her and opened the water faucet to let it run, and then knelt down in front of the toilet bowl.

She waited for the familiar wave of nausea to hit her again. She tried to be careful not to make any noise, knowing her grandmother was on to her. As sad as it was, she was beginning to get used to this. She figured that if she brought herself to vomit before eating breakfast, she was able to keep at least that meal down. At least now she could read the warning sings her body usually gave her before this happened, letting her anticipate and have a little more control over situations like this one.

When she knew she was done emptying her stomach, she stood up slowly, on wobbly legs and walked to the sink. She pulled her toothbrush and mouthwash out of her purse. She figured she needed to leave her house prepared from now on. She unlocked the door and opened it once she felt composed enough to face her mom and grandmother.

She walked back into the showroom, awed by what stood before her. Lorelai stood in a platform in front of a window, looking at herself in the mirror as Caroline and Beth pinned her dress in place and Emily admired her in it. It seemed like there were pieces of lace and tulle flying everywhere. Her mom was finally happy. It had taken her so long to finally see her mom and her mom getting along happily. And she was finally getting married with Luke.

"Oh Lorelai, you should have been a princess!" she heard Emily say.

"Mom, you're in your wedding dress!"

"I know, kid. I can't believe the day is finally around the corner."

"Hem the bustle up a little higher, Beth. I want more of the ruffles to show. No, not that full though. She's going to look like she grew another backside, no woman needs that on her wedding day. There, that's it! Lorelai, you didn't want the train to be any longer, did you?" asked Emily.

"No, it's perfect."

"Beth, finish marking Emily's dress. Come on Rory, it's your turn."

She went and tried her dress on. It was made of a blue silk taffeta that matched her eyes perfectly. The gown was a strapless A-line that almost hit the floor with a hidden side zipper. She was able to close it up to her waist with out a problem, but it kept getting stuck from there on up. She struggled with it for a couple of minutes.

"Rory, how are you doing in there?" asked Caroline.

"I'm okay."

"Do you need any help in there?"

"Ah… the zipper seems to be stuck."

Caroline opened the door and found Rory very flustered. Obviously she had been struggling.

"Let me help you with that dear. Side zippers always give everyone trouble. Place your hands on your hips, honey." She tugged at the zipper for a moment, then decided to lower it and raise it again, since it was obviously stuck. She did this and it got stuck at the waist again. She lowered it once more, then pulled it up really fast.

"Ow!"

"What's going on in there?" asked Emily.

She had pinched her with the zipper. She lowered it a little and tugged up again. They struggled a little at the chest area. They had managed to zip it all up. She emerged from the dressing room and stood in the platform between Emily and Lorelai. Lorelai whistled at her.

"What?"

"What? What do you mean what? Since when do you have those boobs?"

"Since 1998, right around when puberty hit, remember?"

"You know what I mean. You did not have those boobs the last time I saw you."

"The dress looks a little tight," noticed Emily. "Did you gain weight?"

"Well, we can let it out a little…" said Caroline.

"No, leave it like that. With the boobs she can probably catch another boyfriend or two at the wedding." Rory shot Lorelai a mean dirty look. "What? You so could."

"Rory, I think you should go with the other design we had thought about," said Emily. "The strapless with the ballerina skirt."

"The other design looked beautiful on you. And with that doll face of yours and that tiny little waist. I think you should definitely switch it to that," offered Caroline.

"You would look adorable!" said Emily.

"She would. And we could put ruffles underneath, like with Lorelai's dress. Besides, you can only pull off that look for so long. You should take advantage of that now."

"Yeah, Rory, take advantage of that. You only have a limited time left where you can still pull off ruffled underwear under a tulle dress with petticoats," joked Lorelai.

"You really think so?"

"Yes. Let me retake your measurements and make sure we have them down correctly. We must have been off on the other ones. Beth, get me my measuring tape. You can go change now Rory."

As soon as she was without ear shot Lorelai whispered. "She broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago."

"Oh." Caroline nodded her head in understanding. "Well that would explain it."

"Well it certainly looks like you're feeling better now," said Emily. "Your appetite is the same as always."

"Mmmm, the lemon chicken is great tonight, grandma."

"It really is, mom."

"Well, I'll pass your compliments on to Carmen. So Rory, you never told us what the doctor said."

"What doctor?" asked Richard.

"Well apparently Rory hasn't been feeling well and she went to the doctor the other day."

"Why haven't you been feeling well?"

"It's nothing. I've just been a little more tired than usual, that's all."

"But if you scheduled an appointment to see the doctor, it has to be because you really weren't feeling well."

"Well she had a stomach bug for a little while there too," said Lorelai.

"It was nothing, really."

"Well what did he say," asked Emily again.

"What did who say?"

"That doctor that you went to," answered Richard.

"Oh. He said that it was nothing." She looked down to her plate when she answered.

"Nothing? He said it was nothing? What kind of a doctor is he? No one feels under the weather for nothing." Replied Emily.

She continued looking down. "It's uh… just a bug. He said sometimes it takes a while for it to completely go away. That, and maybe I had been working long hours."

"You should take vitamins. Your immune system is probably down. Stress does that kind of thing to you," mentioned Emily.

"I am." She pretended to separate the asparagus from the potatoes to keep from looking up. Then she started cutting them up into small pieces.

"Since when do you take vitamins?" questioned Lorelai.

"She should be taking vitamins. She's a young woman that has entered her childbearing years."

"Mom…"

"What Lorelai? Young women of her age should be taking vitamins. If more of them did, they wouldn't be having sick, scrawny children with runny noses they wipe with their hands and get other people's children sick."

"Ew, that sounds gross. Do kids really walk around with runny noses?" asked Rory.

"They do. And then they sneeze on perfectly healthy children in their nursery and get them sick. It's a vicious cycle."

"This is one of the most disgusting conversations we've had at the dinner table. See, you're making Rory sick again."

"You keep taking those vitamins, Rory."

"Well now I am."

Lorelai plopped herself on the couch. "I don't think I can move. Ugh, that was so much food. How does Carmen cook that much food for just one dinner? I can't believe you had thirds on every course."

"Hey, you did not have to keep up with me. You did that to yourself." She walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer. She pulled a dark chocolate bar and walked back to the living room. Lorelai just looked at her.

"What?"

"I can't believe you're doing that!"

"I'm cleansing my pallet. Make me some room." She sat on the couch next to Lorelai and turned the television on.

"Well now I see where the boobs are coming from."

"What are you trying to say?" she got defensive.

"Psh, I didn't say anything. So really, why did you go to the doctor?"

"I went because Paris shanghaied me into it."

"Paris. Gotta love Paris."

"Well, you two can have each other. Oh, Gone With The Wind is on!"

"So what did the doctor say then?"

"I told you, he said it was a bug." She kept her eyes on the screen.

"A bug, huh?"

"Yes, a bug. It takes a while to go away. Sometimes up to six weeks."

"Six weeks, huh… hasn't it been longer than six weeks? Did you mention the stress to him?"

"He knows about the stress."

"And what did he say about the stress? Did he put you on those vitamins because of the stress?"

"Yup."

"You're not very talkative today."

"You don't talk when Scarlet's wearing a new bonnet."

"So have you talked to Logan?"

"No, I haven't talked to Logan."

"So when are you going to talk to Logan?"

"Goodnight, Rhett." Rory turned off the television. She let out a sigh before answering Lorelai, but not turning to look at her. "I don't know yet."

"But you will, right?"

"I don't know that yet either. Well, I do, but I don't know when. Maybe after Lane's wedding."

"Don't wait too long, kid. The sooner you get it off your chest, the sooner you'll start feeling better. I know that's the reason you're not feeling well. And I don't like seeing you like this, hon."

Rory turned to face Lorelai. She tried to get as comfortable as possible, bringing her legs up and sitting Indian style. She took a deep breath before speaking. "Mom, I want to talk to you about something."

Finally, she was getting her to open up. She turned her body to mimic Rory's.

"Now that you're about to marry Luke… after all these years… how do you feel about having given everything up, putting your whole life on hold, because of me?"

"Oh, wow… where's this coming from?"

"Well, I mean, you never got back together with dad after having me, you never felt like you had to be together with him because of me, but then again, you missed out on everything because of me…"

"Hold on a second, I did not give up everything for you. You were my everything. You still are my everything. I didn't give up anything because of you. Rory, you are my biggest accomplishment. The greatest thing in my life…"

"You're not helping…"

"Helping with what? Now that I've lived my life up to this point, I wouldn't want to do it any other way. If it weren't because I had you, I wouldn't have broken away from my parents' life the way I did. You gave me the courage, the strength, to do it kid. It wasn't the easiest route I could have taken, and granted, my life could have been easier had it led me on a different path. But it wouldn't have been a life I would have been entirely happy with. Rory, you made up for everything I could have possibly gained otherwise. Your dad and I… if it didn't come to something more formal at it's time, it wasn't going to after all those years."

"Yeah, but what I mean is, don't you regret missing those moments growing up? To have the chance to see everything you want in life come into play. I'm sure you had dreams, and you had a plan of what you wanted to do with your life…"

"Rory, sometimes you can have a plan for things in life, but life will take you a different route and not care what the plans were, or whether they came over on The Mayflower or The Titanic, but that doesn't mean you stop experiencing life or enjoying it because you wanted to do things the other way. I mean, look at you. Your whole life plan since you learned how to walk and talk up to eighteen was to go to Harvard and be an international correspondent. Who would have thought all those years that you'd end up going to Yale, and become the editor and chief of their newspaper?"

"You're still not helping…" She felt like she wanted to cry. The phone started ringing.

"Well I don't understand what you want me to say." Luke knocked before opening the door and walking in.

She was becoming upset. "I feel like you're sugar coating everything." The answering machine picked up.

"Sugar coating what? I don't understand how this ties in with me finally marrying Luke…"

Logan's voice started to fill the room. 'Rory, if you're there, please pick up. I… uh… I really need you…' She could tell he was drunk.

"Would you please finally answer that boy?"

"Fine!" She grabbed the cordless and stormed off into her room. She answered it and immediately started rambling into the phone angrily.

"Don't you think you've caused me enough pain? What makes you think that you can call me at home after what you did? What makes you think that I would want to talk to you or have anything to do with you? I told you to leave me alone. Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you right now! I can't talk to you right now. I can't even think straight whenever the thought of you pops into my head. Why can't you respect that I'm asking you to let me be?"

"Rory, please…" he pleaded desperately.

"No, Logan. I am asking you to please let me be. I haven't even decided what I'm going to do. I'm scared of what's ahead of me, and I just need to be able to think clearly so that I can figure out what it is that I'm going to do, and how it is that I'm going to go about it, but I can't do that when you're calling me fifty times a day! I don't have room for you in my life right now. There are things I need to think through before I can even think of dealing with you! And believe me, right now I really, really wish things were different between you and I, but they are what they are and I need to accept that for now, and so do you."

She could hear him sobbing at the other end of the line. She herself was choking on her tears and couldn't seem to stop herself.

"My best friend is getting married tomorrow, and I can't do this anymore. Not right now."

She ended the call and let out a sob. What had she just told him? For the first time in over a month, all she wanted was to be able to make it all go away and forgive him, and have him there with her, reassuring her with his confidence. Holding her, easing her fears away. She had made her decision. She just didn't know how she was going to go about it, and what the ramifications of it all would be. She didn't want to tell Logan until she had completely thought it through. But as much as she didn't want to tell him anything until then, she needed him to help her figure things out. Figure out how they were going to make things be okay. But there was no they anymore. It was just her now.

Logan closed his phone and in anger with himself, he threw it in the direction of the water. It was all his fault. He took another swig from the bottle and somehow managed to crawl back up to his tent. He was crying and he didn't care if anyone saw him. He had been weak when he had fooled around with those girls. The truth was he had missed Rory during all that time, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to call her. If he had only called her back then, he wouldn't have gotten himself into this mess. The knowledge of how much pain his actions had inflicted on her pained him more than it did her. If there was a way for him to undo his actions, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But he couldn't change the past. He only knew that Rory couldn't even stand to think of him right now. He needed her more than ever but she hated him. The thought of not having Rory by his side right at that moment smothered him. He needed to be able to smell her scent, to feel her body lying next to his. He needed to know that she didn't hate him. That she still loved him the way he loved her. That's all he wanted to hear her say; that she didn't hate him as much as he hated himself.

Like she had told him, she reminded herself that she had Lane's wedding tomorrow and she needed to be composed. It took her a while to calm herself. Once she stopped crying, she got herself ready for bed and took her dress out of the closet and laid it on the chair.

She paced around the room for a few minutes. She tried going to bed but only managed to toss and turn. She turned the light on and sat up in bed. She sat there for a while, thinking about what she had told Logan and the feeling that had surged through her veins when she had heard him say her name. Suddenly, the need to forgive him and hear his voice filled her. She needed to feel safe in his arms. She wanted to feel his touch, his kisses. She wanted to hear from him how they were going to get through everything together.

She pulled her cell phone out of her purse. She pulled up his number but hesitated and closed her phone before dialing. What would she tell him? It wasn't something she wanted to tell him over the phone. But right now what she most wanted was to hear his voice again. She dialed his number and waited for him to answer. It went to voicemail. She closed the phone. His message said he was in Costa Rica. Maybe he was having trouble with reception? She waited a few minutes before calling again. Still no answer.

On the fifth call she decided to leave him a voice message. "Logan, it's me. Please call me back. I… I really need to tell you something. I'll be waiting up for your call. Please call me back tonight." There was a pause. "I love you." She closed the phone and waited. She waited for a whole two hours before dialing the number again. He still didn't pick up.

Maybe he had decided to finally put their relationship behind him. She had finally done it. She had pushed him away and out of her reach. She panicked at the knowledge of that and what it probably meant. He had tried talking to her for a month now, and when she finally talked to him, she didn't even give him the chance to say more than two words. For all she knew, he was probably enjoying a Costa Rican at the moment. The thought of that just tortured her more. She wanted to talk to him; she wanted to make sure he was still hers, that he still belonged to her. She wanted to be able to exercise the power over him to get him to come to her right at that instant. The lack of control over the situation filled her with despair. What was she to do now?

When he felt himself sober up a little, he got an idea. Why not start the festivities sooner rather than later? He needed something to lighten him up, and he knew just what would do it. He tumbled out of his tent just as day was breaking. Day break. The perfect time to start a celebration. He walked out of the shed that held their equipment and walked towards the cliff. He had his parachute on, the raft in one hand, bottle of scotch on the other. He finished the bottle of scotch and threw it over the cliff. He heard steps behind him. Good, his friends had also come to join him in the early celebration.

"Logan, what are you doing?" asked Colin.

"I'm celebrating!" He started running towards the end of the cliff.

"Logan, stop!"

There was no time to stop. He had already jumped into the void.