Author's note: I apologize, but after this chapter I'm not going to be able to update for another couple weeks. Winter Break is starting, and I am sans internet access outside of school right now. This story will be finished and completely updated as soon as school starts, followed by the sequel, and then I'm working on Siblings: The Next Generation; Deep, Dark, Beautiful, Deadly; a new one, called Legendary Avatars, following in DDBD's vein, and, for those of you who have read AllKnowingOracle's Ten Minute Break, I have a new version of it-with her permission, of course-coming up soon! Happy Holidays to all and I'll see you in January!
Firefly, meanwhile, was busy pulling out boxes from her closet-in what was once April's room-to put into storage. The boxes were full of April's old things, but Roger had said back in July that she could move them to make room for her things. For now, she was just getting them out. Benny was going to come over in a few days to take the stuff.
One of the boxes was almost bursting, and as Firefly lifted it to move it, the side split. Buried among the clothing were April's old drug supplies, and a crumpled piece of paper. Firefly stuffed the works into a pair of jeans, and scooped up the paper. Smoothing it out, she saw it was a letter addressed to Roger. It had several bloodstains on it, but it was still legible, despite being obviously years old.
Dear Roger, it read, if you are reading this, I'm already dead. I'm sorry, but it was for the best. Baby, we have AIDs. My god, I'm sorry. I know you're going to blame yourself. You think you started me on smack. Baby, I started while you were in the Midwest. I never would have started had you been around. I hope I'm wrong, and you don't have it. But if you do, it's my fault. I was weak. Every time you tried to quit, I couldn't, and I dragged you down. Baby, tell the others I love them. I can't live knowing that I as good as killed you. Maybe even Mark and Maureen. Please, move on. Someone else is better for you. I love you so much, and if you love me, you'll forget about me. It was signed "April Ericcson."
"She died." Firefly turned. Roger stood behind her, his face impassive. He gently took the note from her hands. "She slit her wrists. She was so worried that she'd given us AIDs. But I was the only one that got it."
"Roger…I didn't…the box…"
"Don't. I was going to tell you anyway. I just never imagined that this would be how it came out. She waited until none of us were home, and then…we didn't even know, at first…" He closed his eyes, trying to suppress the memories threatening to surface.
Flashback
The Loft was quiet. Roger and Mark had just gotten home, and Mark was on the fire escape watching for Collins, while Roger puked in the sink. April was nowhere to be found. Maureen entered, looking around. "Trying to cold turkey again, Davis?"
Roger his head still in the sink, flipped Maureen the bird. She grinned, knocking on the bathroom door. "Anyone in there? I really have to pee." There was no answer.
Roger joined Maureen outside the bathroom. "Just walk in like everyone else does," he muttered, heading for the fire escape to smoke.
Maureen opened the door and screamed. Roger turned. "Oh, my god!" He shoved Maureen aside, scooping up April's prone body. Clutched in her bloody hand was a piece of paper. Roger grabbed it, scanning it quickly. His heart stopped. "No," he whispered. He rubbed April's back. "Come on baby, wake up. Please wake up. You're not dead. You can't be dead."
Maureen grabbed the phone. "I'm calling 911."
Within minutes, the paramedics arrived. Roger refused to move from April's side, so they were forced to work around him. It was no use, however. It was too late. Maureen finally pulled Roger from April's side. "Rog…" Roger glared at her. She stepped back. "Rog…I…"
Roger turned from her. He was white, but with rage or sadness, Maureen couldn't tell. His fists were clenched in a clear "back off" gesture. Maureen stayed back. They remained like this for several minutes, before Mark, shaking, stepped towards Roger. Roger moved as if to hit him, but stopped as soon as he realized it was Mark, and not Maureen, that was nearing him. After a tentative pause, Mark pulled Roger into his arms, needing the comfort as much as Roger. The dam broke. Roger began to sob into Mark's shoulder.
End Flashback
By this point, Roger had sat on the couch, pulling Firefly into his arms. They were both white, and Roger's body shook softly with quiet sobs. After a few moments, Roger spoke again. "I've never really gotten over it. It's been a little over four years. I miss her terribly. But in all that time, I've learned something. I've learned to accept in and move one."
Firefly smiled. "I'm glad you told me, that you trusted me enough to tell."
Roger grinned. "Why not? I may still be learning this sibling thing, but…" he trailed off, brushing a finger absentmindedly across her spine. She giggled. "Stop! I'm ticklish there."
Roger laughed. "In that case…"
The door opened, and Mark walked over. "Roger, what are you doing to my girlfriend?"
Roger grinned. "Just what all big brothers are supposed to do. Tormenting her."
"Oh. Carry on, then."
"Mark!" Firefly pulled away from Roger. "Please, stop."
Roger smiled. "Oh, okay. If you insist."