Xander had recently arrived from Africa and was sporting a chocolately shade of a tan. This only made Willow more pissed. Xander got to like George Hamilton while she looked like a dalmatian. Dalmatian is a very sexy look. Not.

"You mean you're not shocked, Xander? That suddenly I'm interested in Buffy?"

Xander wasted no time answering: "I'm actually shocked it took you this long."

Willow, with her great intelligence and higher education, replied with, "What? Huh?"

"Come on, Wills, everyone falls for Buffster. I could go through the list but that would take too long of a time, and I don't think either of us want to sit here all day when there are all these fancy-pants museums and churches to look at."

"Yeah, like you care about museums and churches."

"I care about finishing this conversation quickly, before you get all mopey."

"I'm not going to get mopey!"

"Is this the New Willow we're talking about? Because the old Willow usually, by this point, has written poetry about unrequited love and sits at home on her bed watching cartoons and feeling sorry for herself, wondering when the object of her desires will ever notice her while never actually doing anything about it at all."

Willow gaped in shock. "Was that supposed to be a pep-talk, mister?!"

"Maybe. Did it work?"

"No. But that's not me anymore, and it hasn't been for some time. I'll have you know that this Willow is a real go-getter. If there's something she wants, then she takes it."

"Why didn't you tell her last night, then?"

"Duh. I looked like a sack of pus."

"Then why are you talking to me right now instead of Buffy?"

"Because I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I need your help. In case you haven't noticed, I've never really done the picking up thing or the asking out thing before, especially with a friend like Buffy. I need your advice."

Xander shrugged. "I'm not sure why you're coming to me for help. I got shot down in the twelfth episode. Observe:"

Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! (takes a breath) Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.

Buffy: (speechless) I-I don't know what to say.

Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more. I wanna dance with you.

Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...

Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest. (laughs nervously)

Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.

Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.

Buffy: (looks down a moment, then back up) I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.

"Hey, now that's good foreshadowing. A few years early, too."

That earned him an eye-roll from Willow. "Well, thanks for the trip down memory lane. But that doesn't help me one bit."

"Well, you could try going for a sexier look. Change it up a bit, force her to see a different Willow than the one she's used to. It usually works on me, like when your evil twin showed up. That was hot, if not a little creepy."

"That's a good idea, but you're forgetting one thing. Neither of us no a damned thing about fashion, and two: we both hate shopping. Yes I realize that I miscounted two, but I went to college. I use my calculator for addition and subtraction." Willow gazed down at where Xander was now clasping his hands over his groin. She raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, thinking of VampWillow. That was good stuff."

"Boys," Willow shook her head in disgust.